


The Wolf's Shadow

by JenSpinner



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Background Ellen Harvelle, Bossy Castiel, Brutal Murder, Car Sex, Crimes & Criminals, Dancing and Singing, Dark Castiel, Dark Dean Winchester, Death, Dom Castiel, Drinking, Drunk Dean Winchester, Drunk Sex, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family, Foster Care, Intelligent Castiel, Justice, Killer Dean, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentions Of Suicide - Not Detailed, Murder, Murder partners, Near Death Experiences, Outdoor Sex, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Underage, Pedophilia, Plot Twists, Police, Protective Ellen Harvelle, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Serial Killer Castiel, Short Chapters (Usually under 2000 words), Slow Build, Smut, Social Anxiety, Sub Dean, Surprises, Terminal Illnesses, This work is Grammarly checked, Vet Castiel, Veterinary Clinic, Vigilantism, Virgin Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-01-07 17:00:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 73
Words: 105,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12237015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenSpinner/pseuds/JenSpinner
Summary: Castiel and Dean are vigilante serial killers. Sick of people slipping through the legal system, Ellen who is in the police force helps her nephew, Castiel 'take out the bad guys'.When some health problems arise, Ellen is forced to look elsewhere for a companion for Castiel...Enter Dean... After a tense and testing start Castiel and Dean bond to form that profound relationship we all love...





	1. In The Beginning...

 

 

“My name is Ellen Harvelle and I work for the New York police department. You need to listen up kid because what you say next will determine the rest of your life. So, shut up and pay attention. I know who you are, or rather what you are. What I don't know…is why? Why did you do it and why did you leave that note?"

The police officer eyed the young man, sitting behind her in her police car, as though she was trying to piece him together like a puzzle. He shrugged and pulled against his cuffs.

She rolled her eyes "When I was 13 my brother attacked me, he was a few years older than me and we'd never been close, but I never expected him to do anything like that. I was removed from my family home and placed in care because my parents were drug addicts and couldn't cope with the situation. My father eventually died from an overdose, and shortly after my mother committed suicide" The man in the back was looking at her like she'd gone mad, why was she telling him her life story? Why hadn't she taken him to the station?

Ellen continued "My brother was in and out of the care system for a couple of years until he turned eighteen, he dropped out of school and got a job. I didn't keep in contact with him and I didn't need the reminder of what he tried to do to me. If it hadn't been for a neighbor, I truly believe my brother would have raped me. When he got married at twenty-three I thought maybe he'd turned himself around, that if someone loved him enough to marry him he must be a nicer person now, but I still didn't want to see him. A few years later I found out from a friend that my brother and his wife had a kid, a son, and things seem to be going well for him and I was studying to join the police so I was doing well for myself too. One day I found out that my brother's wife had died. I don't know what happened to her…I just knew that she was gone and apparently he was a mess. Maybe I should have reached out then, to see if he needed help, but I was still angry with him and I didn't want to put myself in a situation where I would be reminded of what he tried to do to me, even if sometimes I figured that maybe it was my fault"

Pausing to look at the man in the back seat again, she added "That was twenty-eight years ago and I do not blame myself now. I know better. I've seen it time and time again, working with the police…people taking advantage of their children or their siblings and it's not the victim's fault. There is just something really, really wrong with the

attacker...they're just monsters. The amount of times they get away with it, from lack of evidence, makes my stomach churn. In some cases, they have continued with the abuse and only been caught when the child in question has been killed. On days like that, I wish I could go out and deal out my own personal brand of justice…” She stopped again and with a raise of her eyebrow and a slight tilt of her head asked "Is that what you were doing?"

The man in the back seat narrowed his eyes at her "I don't have to say anything without a lawyer"

Ellen huffed "Look, I know. Don't trust the police, right? But I have to know...the man you killed…was he a child groomer? Were you copying the other killer known as 'The List Killer'?"

The man eyes widened "I...”

Nodding knowingly, she put the car into drive and continued talking to her bewildered prisoner in the backseat. "When I got the call that my brother had died I was on the fence about meeting my nephew for weeks...because I just imagined a mini version of my brother running around terrorizing people. I didn't want to be burdened with that, but eventually, I figured there is no harm in meeting him and he deserved a chance and I'm so glad I did. He was nothing like my brother. He was smart and brave. He came to live with me when he was thirteen years old. He seemed really guarded when he came to live with me. He would observe me rather than interact. It was hard to get him to open up about anything…then one day we were arguing because he never talked and I was trying to get him to talk to me. I wanted to know that he was OK about his father's death. What he told me was that his father had beaten and touched him and made him touch him. He never went into details really…I didn't want them, that was enough. I just had this gut-churning moment when I realized that if I had reported my brother when he was younger, for attacking me, I might have been able to prevent it…”

She paused and seemed to be considering what to say very carefully. "I joined the police force to try and stop that from happening to other people and it seemed like I was constantly failing. I couldn't fail my nephew anymore…so I vowed to him that I would protect him and that I would keep him safe, no matter what, and that I understood that it wasn't him who had done anything wrong, but he told me he did do something wrong"

Ellen pulled up outside an old looking building, she turned to the back seat "I asked him what he meant and he told me he killed his father...that he'd been sick of the abuse and living in fear. One day he'd finally snapped and made it look like an accident and everyone just assumed it was. This smart, thirteen-year-old boy couldn't possibly have killed his own father…” The man in the back was leaning forward now, hanging on to Ellen's every word...

"Of course, it occurred to me that, as a policewoman, I really should have reported it, like now…with you, but I wasn't angry with him and I wasn't scared of him. I knew how he had suffered at the hands of my brother, and how he had dealt with it…was to take the monster off the streets. I just wanted to protect him, so I didn't report it. Then one day, years later...a case came across my table that reminded me so much of my brother. Later, I was talking to my nephew about it…he was a young man now, but he just looked at me and said: "I'll take care of them for you." That's how it started, my nephew…just clearing the monsters from street one by one. Protecting the children of New York. He might be a killer, but there are kids out there that think of him as a hero…just like I do."

The man in the back seat fell back against the chair shaking his head. "You expect me to believe that you're the aunt of 'The List Killer'? He rolled his eyes.

Ellen looked at him "He actually hates that name. You can either believe me, and I'll pass on whatever message you have…or you can think I'm lying and I take you to the station. Personally, I hope you let me help you. I know that guy you killed and his record was a mile long, but child grooming wasn't on there…I checked. So I need to know, why him and why did you leave that note for 'The list killer'?"

"'Let's just say...I'm not a fan of the guy. He might not have been a child groomer, but he made plenty of kids lives a living hell...my own included.”

Putting her head in her hands, she said with frustration "You never kill someone you know, you dumb shit. God, you have a lot to learn.”


	2. In The Night

"You must know why you are here. You must know...you deserve this. You preach goodness and the word of God, but you are the devil in a mask. You can not hide your true face from me. I know what you are and I know what you've done. You preyed on the most vulnerable. Did it make you feel big? How does it feel now that you are the prey? I am not going to defile you as you did those children. That is the only small mercy I shall grant you. This is about justice…about keeping other children safe from you." Castiel's voice was calm, but his eyes were full of rage.

 

The man beneath Castiel's hand wiggled and grunted, his eyes were pleading. The tape over his mouth keeping him from being able to speak as he watched Castiel pick up the blade. His eyes widened and he shook his body attempting to free himself from his bindings, the last act of a desperate man.

"I wonder if the children you tortured looked at you like this? Did they beg you to stop? Did you ever feel anything, other than your own sickness, while you touched and tormented them? Made them feel they deserved it or that it was somehow their fault? It doesn't matter now. Because I don't feel anything, looking at you. Just disgust. You are just a monster and I'm in the business of dispatching monsters"

 

He brought the blade up, with one quick swipe he'd drawn it sharply down across the man's neck. Quick and clean. More than the man deserved. Then he used the end of the blade to carve a tiny 'tick' in the man's cheek. Another one off the list...not that he actually kept a list, of course, that would be stupid. Still, he felt like marking them off, in this tiny way, was like patting himself on the back…a job well done.

 

Castiel has spent years perfecting his 'art'. He wasn't into torture, he dealt with justice. This man had groomed children, children who were left in his care, their trusting parents never even considering that they were leaving their child with a predator.

 

Castiel took a deep breath as he admired his work as blood began to pour over his gloved hand and he relishes in how warm and silky it feels. Castiel looks down at his victim...his prey, for he had realized a long time ago that he was different... People had called him names, bullied him, beaten him black and blue, but it had only confirmed what he already suspected...he didn't fit in, he wasn't like these...people. He was above them. He was the predator, the lone wolf and everyone else, well...they were mere sheep waiting to be picked off one by one...

 

He tilted his head. The man was sprawled on the floor below him...if you could call him a man. He was bleeding from the slit across his throat, his hands were still bound by the zip tie in front of him. His eyes were open and there was still that delicious look of fear across his face. The light had gone out from behind his eyes, he was gone…just a shell. That was all that remained of the beast. Castiel had a content look on his face, one more monster off the streets. At least one more child saved from what he had endured as a kid. This man before him had been a priest...of all things. Castiel shook his head.

 

Castiel wasn't in a rush, he'd chosen a perfect location. An abandoned building, old and ugly. With no silly ghost stories to attract local teenagers, although he thought that might change after tonight. He had time to take in what he had done as he began the process of cleaning up, starting by removing the blood-soaked surgical gloves and putting them into an open Ziploc back, he put on a fresh pair. He never took anything from his victims, honestly, he'd never understood that. How stupid it seemed to keep evidence from a victim, but then he wasn't like other killers. He didn't kill because he got some weird sexual kick out of it, he didn't kill out of boredom and he certainly didn't kill to deliberately get caught and go down in infamy. If he got caught and locked away, how many children would suffer because of his stupidity? No, that would never do. His cleanups had to be perfect, he couldn't leave anything that would lead the police to him.

 

He saw his needs…his kills, as purer. He killed to protect. He had certain rules: he never killed anyone younger than twenty-three, he wanted to know that the man he was dealing with was an adult and therefore the choices that he had made were his own. If those choices led him into Castiel's sights...that was his own doing. Castiel had also never killed a woman. Something about him attacking a woman felt wrong. He got no sexual gratification from his work. In truth, after his abuse as a child, he'd never sought out that kind of interaction with anyone. He was a virgin. His revulsion for his victims crowded his mind so much that, in fact, he only touched them as much he had to, only to get the job done and no more.

 

He tidied away his little bag of tools, wiping his blade with a wet wipe and putting the soiled wipe into a Ziploc bag, before putting the blade in a separate one carefully. He put the tiny needle of animal euthanasia solution, that he always kept in his bag, back into its zipper case. If anything ever went wrong, if a victim attempted to escape, he had that handy. He hadn't ever had to use it and he was glad. Using that was a sure clue to the killer being a vet, which he was, but if it came to it, he would. His own freedom meaning very little, to him, when measured against an abused child's whole life.

 

He un-clipped the zip ties from the man's hands and they dropped lifelessly to his side. Another of Castiel's rules was never leave anything he brought behind. He looked about him, checking and rechecking. Did he have everything? Did he miss any detail? When he was finally convinced he had erased his presence from the room he backed away. As he reached the door he flicked off his torch, then he used his disposable shoe covered foot to gently nudge the door open and peered out into the darkness. The air was cool and silent, Castiel stepped out into the night and walked thirty long paces from the door. When he reached this distance, he stepped on to a patch of grass. He removed the hair net, the shoe covers, then the shoes. He found the pair of shoes he had hidden there earlier, he was currently wearing shoes that were two sizes larger than he required. He put the others on and placed the oversized shoes in their own, individual, Ziploc bag. Everything would be cleaned or burned. He removed the fresh pair of gloves he had put on and put those in a Ziploc too. Honestly, if Castiel was ever caught, he thought the Ziploc bag and zip tie industry would crumble. He tread lightly another 100 paces through the darkness, to his car. He opened the back door, put his bag on to the black plastic sheet that covered the back seat and floorboards and closed the door quietly. He walked around to the driver's side and got in, again closing the door quietly. He allowed himself his usual three minutes...three minutes to think if he had done everything he needed to do. He ran his checklist through his head and after deciding everything was indeed done to his own satisfaction, he turned the key and pulled away.

 

He would sleep well tonight...


	3. I'm already dead

On the surface - Castiel is a successful veterinarian with his own private practice. He employs six people and his business had been good for several years. But today was Saturday, and one of the benefits of being your own boss was getting to pick when you wanted to work... So naturally, Castiel had given himself the weekends off.

He woke up to the radio as his alarm flicked on. 8 AM. He sat up, rubbed the sleep from his eyes and got out of bed. Immediately starting his morning stretching routine, he rolled his head around on his shoulder before moving on to calf stretch then quadriceps stretch, shoulder stretch and finally triceps stretch. Then he got dressed, he pulled on his dark grey long sleeved running top and a pair of men's black running tights, topped with a pair of sports shorts. He dug out some ankle socks and then laced up his black and grey running shoes, they were the kind that were sliced across the bottom so you could bend your foot more... Castiel had insisted on the type he wanted when he had purchased them... These were simply the best for Parkour. Castiel was highly skilled at free running. 

He had added it to his training when one of his victims at the beginning of his 'murder career' had surprised him by doing what can only be described as a 'Spiderman' move. They had run up a wall and jumped it... Luckily for him though, Ellen, who had only been insisting on working the nights Castiel 'hunted' so that she could keep an eye on the police radio and help Castiel if necessary, was there and caught the escaping victim. She had driven him back round to Castiel's car and delivered him already zip tied. After that close call, Castiel had taken three months to get ready for his next hunt. He had trained hard and everything was organized well, that kill hard gone much smoother. So he had continued his training. He was now basically a well-oiled machine, a weapon. He was not going to risk a victim slipping away again.

He picked up his iPod and clicked on to his running playlist, running was his outlet, he clicked play a Limp Bizkit's 'Break Stuff' came on, he put the iPod safely in it's armband holder and left his bedroom the music already getting him in the mood to run, the need to get the blood pumping. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and a granola bar from the cupboard. He opened the granola bar, chucked the wrapper in the bin and headed through the front door, he always walked for the first ten minutes to warm up, so he always ate on the go. He walked towards his usual running spot the Central Park Loop, a nice scenic six-mile run. Castiel's time was down to forty minutes in good conditions if he just ran the road... But that was on days when he had work, today he was going to add in some parkour stunts. Free running felt like flying. The rush was only bested by the feeling he got after a successful hunt. Getting a monster off the street... That was his favorite thing.  

He finished his granola bar and began to jog, working up to a run after a few minutes. Throwing in the occasional detour from the road to add in a flip or a jump here and there. Twisting his hip mid-jump to turn over in mid-air, then continuing with his run like nothing had happened. He'd run up the side of a tree and grab on the chunky branch that stuck out, swinging on it, flipping again in mid-air, and landing with a roll before taking off again. He'd jump over benches and bins. Limp Bizkit's - Rollin' now playing on his iPod, fueling his desire to fly.

An hour later he arrived back at his house, sweaty and legs aching. He grabbed another bottle of water from the fridge before heading to his on suite bathroom. He turned off the iPod and put it back on its dock to charge. Then removed his trainers and socks and peeled himself out of the sweaty running top. He turned the shower on and let the water warm up as he took off his shorts and running tights and underwear. He chucked the sweat-soaked clothes into his laundry basket and stepped into the tub and under the warm spray of water from the shower, just allowing the water to rinse him off for a moment before grabbing his shower gel...

After his shower, he got dressed, black pants, a black t-shirt, and comfy flip-flops. He went back down to his kitchen and started making himself a proper breakfast of chopped fruit in Greek yogurt. He cleared the mess away - he liked things tidy. He liked things in order. And leaving dishes till the end of the day? Was laughable.

He checked his phone, Ellen had said she would be at his to 'discuss something important' at 10 AM. He had a few minutes yet so he went upstairs and brushed his teeth, he always did this after breakfast and not as soon as he got up because the toothpaste made the water taste minty, and that was just weird - he felt.

He was wiping his mouth on the small towel when he heard the knock at the door. A quick glance in the mirror - yeah his face was now toothpaste free. He went back downstairs to his front door.

"Ellen" He smiled as he opened the door

Ellen smiled at him and pulled him into a hug "Hey honey"

Castiel closed the door behind her and followed her into the kitchen "Coffee? Tea?"

"Coffee. Lots of sugar, lots of cream" Ellen smiled "How have you been Castiel? No trouble last night I take it?"

Castiel put the kettle under the tap and filled it with water "No trouble" He walked over to the kettle base and sat it back on it, flicking the switch to on and turning back to Ellen "No trouble at all"

"Good. He hasn't surfaced on reports yet, I guess it won't be too long though" Said Ellen calmly - as though discussing the dead body of the man Castiel had murdered the night before was no big deal. She took one of the bar stools around the island in the middle of Castiel's kitchen.

"So what was this thing you wanted to discuss with me?" Asked Castiel as he stirred the cream and sugar into the mug of coffee in front of him.

"Well.." Said Ellen sheepishly "Do you remember a couple of months ago when I suggested you find.. a friend.. a partner if you will..."

Castiel's eyes narrowed at her as he placed the steaming coffee in front of her "Yes. I remember being very adamant that I do not require any help"

"I help you," Said Ellen suddenly

Castiel's expression softened "I know. And I would be in prison or dead by now if I hadn't had you. What I meant to say was... I don't require any further help"

Ellen's shoulders seemed to drop, her eyes flitted downward as she spoke "I won't always be here Castiel. I just hate to think of you being alone"

Castiel frowned at her "What are you talking about? Are you being transferred?"

"No hon, I'm not being transferred" Ellen took a sip of her coffee "mmm nice thank you"

"You're welcome," Said Castiel still watching her slightly confused

After another sip of coffee, Ellen looked up at Castiel "Now, listen.. and please don't get mad"

Castiel tilted his head, frowning...

"I found someone, someone to help you. His name is Dean Winchester and..."

"And what.. exactly... did you tell this Dean Winchester???" Said Castiel standing frozen, glaring at Ellen

Ellen ignored him and went on "I found him this morning, hovering around after his first kill" Ellen rolled her eyes in a manner that resembled a mother talking about her child doing something silly, like losing their balance and falling over "He needs your help Castiel. He has potential when he isn't being a complete fool. And you need.."

"Do not say help. I do not need help, I have you" Said Castiel feeling annoyed but remembering everything his aunt had done for him, he was biting down his anger and trying to keep it together.. How could Ellen be so stupid, what on earth had she told this Dean Winchester guy, did he know who he was? Castiel's eyes started scanning the window and front door. The police could literally pull up at any moment "What did you tell him?"

"Relax Castiel. He hasn't said anything to anyone" Said Ellen calmly

"How can you possibly know that?" Said Castiel

"He is in lockup" Smiled Ellen, "I wrote up that I pulled him up a few hours earlier than I did for being drunk and stuck him in the tank, it should clear him of suspicion for the other guy's death. Who.. by the way... Got what was coming to him"

Castiel looked at her "Have you lost your mind? Ellen, I love you. You have done so much for me... But you have left this man.. in the middle of a police station knowing what he knows... What were you thinking?"

"I don't want you to be alone, I had to take a chance. I think I got it right first time Castiel. I really do. I'm going to go back to the station and release him. I have his address here, for you. You can go and see what you think of him. But hon, you have to promise me... you'll try?"

Castiel looked at her, she looked like she was going to cry "Ellen.." It was barely above a whisper "What is going on?"

Ellen looked at him, tears shining in her eyes, she blinked and the trickled down her face. Castiel crossed the room towards her quickly... He isn't a big hugger, not really. But how could he leave his aunt like this without trying to comfort her? He wrapped an arm around her. She seemed to break down completely at the embrace.

After a few minutes of sobbing into Castiel's chest, she steadied her breathing and looked up into his eyes... 

"I wouldn't leave you by choice hon, but that's the thing.. I don't have a choice anymore, I have cancer.. I'm dying" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about last Monday - I was struck by a case of brain fart and sat staring at my laptop trying to write and literally nothing came to my head.. However - I'm back and I hope this chapter makes up for last weeks blank space. ;-)


	4. The Wolf and the Shadow

  

 

One week later, Dean was starting to think he'd been stood up. He wondered if that was a good or bad thing... He was meant to be meeting a murderer after all. He was walking the Central Park Loop, dressed in his black leather jacket to keep him warm against the breeze... Ellen had told him to walk the loop today, and Castiel would find him. Dean had been grateful of the very public meeting place at first, the thought had crossed his mind, more than once than Castiel had motive to kill him, he knew his secret after all. So the fact that the meeting had been set in a public place had comforted him at first. Now that he was actually here though, he felt exposed, nervous and paranoid. He fumbled at the cigarette carton in his pocket, pulling it out and lighting one, on his third attempt due to the wind, in hopes of calming his nerves. He wondered what this Castiel would be like and what he would think of him. He was excited and nervous at the moment he wasn't sure which emotion was winning through. 

***

Castiel had been following Dean from a distance for the past half an hour. He wasn't going to make this easy for Dean. He wanted to see how he behaved, he wanted to observe him for a while before deciding how to approach him. He had seen Dean looking around himself around several times. He was clearly feeling nervous. Castiel checked his watch, again. How long would Dean wait before giving up he wondered.

The past week had been very difficult for Castiel, Ellen admitting her illness had really shaken him. He did not like change, especially the kind of change that would include him losing the only real family he had ever had. So really, he was in no rush to meet this... Dean Winchester as that would just add to the changes that were crumbling his neat little world, but as Ellen had basically emotionally blackmailed him into it, here he was, taking what little control he had left, and making Dean sweat for a while. Or at least that was how it started, but then Dean had lit a cigarette and Castiel had scrunched up his nose in disgust... Not only was smoking bad for your health, it was also basically the same as leaving a trail of 'DNA' breadcrumbs behind you.. he thought when Dean had dropped the butt to the floor and crushed it under his foot... Castiel shook his head, if he was going to let Dean 'work' with him, his smoking was going to be the first thing to go. He saw Dean finally take a seat on a bench and Castiel walked away to a shop nearby. Yes, that smoking had to stop.

At the shop, it had dawned on him that this was an opportunity to learn a bit more about Dean, like how long he would be willing to wait, for one thing. Patience was a very important quality for someone like Castiel. So when he returned to Central Park he picked a spot not to close to Dean and sat pretending to read a magazine he had purchased from the shop, on the grass... 

***

When Dean checked his watch and realized that Castiel was now nearly sixty minutes late, Dean had sat on a park bench. Maybe, he thought, he was walking around and their paths hadn't crossed yet? So he sat, lighting another cigarette just for something to do. He sat smoking and watching the world go by. He knew this Castiel knew what he looked like, but he had no idea what Castiel looked like. He could have walked past him ten times already.  

After a few minutes, a dark-haired man came and sat on the other end of the bench. Dean's eyes kept glancing to the side to look at the man, was this him? Had he finally found him? He looked tall, calm. Maybe tired? Not what Dean had expected... But then, he had no idea what to expect really. Dean kept his head forward, looking ahead of him. Wondering if he should say something. He took a deep drag on his cigarette and breathed it out, he was about to speak to the man sat near him when suddenly a little girl came running over with a tiny puppy. 

"Daddy! Look what Elsa just did!" Cried the girl excitedly. Dean saw the man's shoulders drop as he looked where his daughter was pointing to a small pile of dog waste. 

"Great," Said the man sarcastically, but so much that the little girl would notice, before standing and pulling a little pooh bag from his pant pocket. 

Dean let out a breath. OK, that was clearly not him. Good job he hadn't said anything. 

***

With a slight head tilt Castiel watched the man pick up his dog's mess and move away to bin it. His attention turned back on to Dean. He hadn't said anything to the man, that was a good sign. Castiel felt it was time to put him out of his misery. He walked towards him, looking at the bench and not directly at Dean. When he reached the bench, he hovered for a moment before speaking. 

"Anyone sitting here?" Dean looked up at him, shaking his head for a second, but freezing when Castiel lowered his voice and said "Hello Dean" 

Dean swallowed as he looked into the eyes of the man staring down at him. Collecting himself as quickly as possible he said "You're late"

Castiel gave him a look that unnerved him, his head tilted to one side "I've been here longer than you. Here, you will need these" He threw a small box into Dean's lap. 

Dean stared at the box "Nicotine patches?" He raised an eyebrow at Castiel "Why.."

"Because you are going to quit" Said Castiel now sitting down on the  bench, but not to close to Dean "You are going to quit" Repeated Castiel not looking at Dean, but seeming to have found something very interesting in the distance to stare at "Do you smoke a lot?" 

"No, usually only at night, and usually only one or two" Said Dean, brow furrowed 

"Good, then quitting shouldn't be all that difficult. I will be back here in.. two weeks. I expect you to be smoke-free by then. So we can begin training" Castiel finally turned to face Dean, who found himself shifting backward slightly under the other man's gaze "That is if you still want to.. work with me?" 

Dean nodded  

"Good. I shall see you here, at this time, in two weeks then. Do not try to contact me before then" And with that Castiel got up and walked away, leaving Dean alone and wondering what the hell had just happened.  


	5. The First Rule, Trust

Two weeks had gone by, Dean had stopped smoking the day after Castiel had told him to. He had used the patches Castiel had given him for the first week. The second week he had been in a touchy mood, but since he worked the morning shifts as a caretaker, cleaning a delivery warehouse no one really bothered him enough to notice.

Now he was back in Central Park and waiting once again for Castiel. He closed his eyes, thinking 'What the hell do people who don't smoke, do when they're waiting outside for something?' Right now he really wanted a cigarette. He felt like people walking by who were smoking were mocking him. He knew that wasn't the case but he watched a man walking past smoking a pipe and he scowled at him 'Easy for you, some killer doesn't know who you are and hasn't told you to stop' He thought.

He checked his watch... He wondered if Castiel was watching him again... He glanced about, but then his question was answered as Castiel was walking towards him.

"Hello Dean," He said in that gravelly clinical tone.

Dean looked up at him "Hey" He said in what he hoped sounded like a calm voice

Castiel stayed stood in front of him, eyeing him "When was your last cigarette?"

"The day after we met," Said Dean hiding the smugness from his voice.

Castiel's eyebrows raised slightly "Really? That's good" 

"Yeah really," Said Dean feeling more confident at Castiel's praise.

"Come with me," Said Castiel not even waiting for Dean to stand before turning and starting to walk away. 

Dean blinked, momentarily confused, but did as he was told and stood up to follow behind Castiel. As he fell in step at Castiel's side the man spoke again.

"The first thing we have to establish between us before this can go any further.. is trust. Do you agree?"

"Sure," Said Dean 'I'd love to trust that you won't kill me...' Thought Dean to himself

Castiel led Dean out of Central Park and towards a dark grey Hyundai Sonata. Castiel opened the passenger side and motioned to Dean to get in. Castiel tilted his head watching Dean as he hesitated for a second before getting in. He jumped slightly as Castiel closed the door behind him and watched in the mirror as Castiel walked around the back of the car to the driver's side. He opened the door and got in, without a word to Dean he pulled on his seat belt, Dean copied him pulling his own belt over him.

Castiel pulled out. It was a few moments before he spoke again "Do you like my car Dean?"

Dean frowned, once again surprised by Castiel's seemingly normal question "Sure, its.."

"Common" Castiel cut over him, eyes still firmly on the road as he continued "In fact, it is one of the most commonly bought cars in America. It doesn't stand out. The color, the model.. nothing about it.. stands out. Do you see where I am going with this?"

"Honestly? Not really... I mean I guess so it's not easily identified?" Asked Dean feeling uneasy

"Yes. You are right. I picked this car for exactly that reason. I also pick my clothes for that reason, dark grey is the best color for.. not drawing attention. Your smoking, apart from being bad for your health, and the obvious issue of leaving your DNA on cigarette butts like a trail of breadcrumbs.. made you stand out. If you see a man walking down a street and he is not smoking.. you do not know if that man smokes or not... if you see a man walking down the street and he is smoking.. you know he smokes... Your smoking gave away a piece of your identity, instantly. Which is why I asked you to stop. Also, my training will include running and fitness training... I will not have you smoking and being unable to keep up because of your lowered lung capacity"

Dean looked at Castiel, as he pulled up at a red light Castiel finally looked back at him. But only long enough to say "Everything I ask you to do... I have a good reason for. Everything. Even if I don't always share that reason with you, to begin with, I wanted you to know why I asked you to stop smoking, before you take the test"

Dean's eyes widened "Test?" He asked

The traffic light had flicked on to green and Castiel was back to focusing on the road and ignored Dean's query.

Finally, they pulled up outside a house. Castiel unbuckled his seat belt and turned to Dean.

"This is my home" He paused seemingly struggling to find the right words "I want to be very clear, I am a private person for reasons I'm sure you can guess, I do not invite people into my home easily, but it is suitable for our current needs. Before we go in, however, I want to offer you an 'out'. You do not need to come in with me, I can turn the car around and I can drive you anywhere you want to go. You would never have to see me again. You need to understand, if you come in with me, this is starting now. You will be agreeing to do everything I say, you will be agreeing to abstain from smoking or any other recreational drug use, including alcohol useless I, state otherwise"

Dean listened. He'd already stopped smoking, that was the hardest he felt.

"You will be agreeing to continue the training I start you within your own time. You will not be permitted to talk about me or Ellen or anything that is discussed within my house or anything delicate that is discussed outside. Do you understand?"

"Yes"

"Are you involved with anyone?" Asked Castiel in that professional doctor sounding voice

"No"

"Good. That simplifies things" Castiel took a deep breath "So Dean, are you in? Can you follow instructions?"

Dean looked Castiel straight in those icy blues "Yes"

For the first time, Dean was sure he'd seen a glimmer of a smirk on Castiel's face "Excellent. Do you have any questions?"

"What's the test?" Asked Dean instantly, wishing he had taken a moment and sounded calmer

"I have bought a Carbon Monoxide test, it is similar to a breathalyzer but for cigarettes. Smoking tobacco increases the CO content of your blood, this device will tell me if you have smoked more recently than you say"

"So much for trust then," Said Dean before he could stop himself

"If you are telling the truth, you will have nothing to worry about. This isn't a game, I can not risk, just taking you on your word. Trust is earned and taking this test is the first step"

Dean nodded.

"There is also... a drugs test. I will require a urine sample for" Said Castiel

Dean looked at him, 'yeah, he is totally serious'. Dean nodded again.

The two men got out of the car and walked towards Castiel's. Dean giving way, so Castiel could unlock his front door

"Please remove your shoes and leave them on the matt" He said as Dean closed the door behind him.


	6. Fire, to wash away old sins

Dean looked about him, taking in the whitewash walls and showroom tidy living room before turning to look into the kitchen, the ground floor of Castiel's house was open plan so from the front door you could see across the entire downstairs. Across from the front door was a wooden staircase, the railing was metal and there were large spotless glass panels up the sides of them. The rooms were so open and bright, Dean relaxed, he hadn't been expecting dungeons and medieval torture weapons to be hung from the walls, but he hadn't been expecting this either.

Removing his shoes and leaving them paired on the matt as Castiel had done, Dean looked up.

Castiel was watching him, seeming to read his mind he said: "Not what you were expecting?"

Dean scratched his face "I don't know what I was expecting, but no I guess not. Do you live here?"

Castiel frowned at Dean "I told you this is my home. Or are you imagining this is some kind of showroom I have brought you to, to kill you?"

Actually, the thought had crossed Dean's mind but wasn't going to tell Castiel that... "It's just very..."

"Clean?" Asked Castiel narrowing his eyes

"Yeah" Said Dean "Exactly" 

Castiel nodded "I don't do messy and I don't do clutter. I like things well organized and orderly and that will include you, by the way," Castiel moved away from Dean towards the kitchen and opened a drawer in the island in the middle of the kitchen to pull out a paper bag. "Can you wash your hands please Dean"

Dean nodded and obeyed walking over to the sink and washing his hands. He found the hand towel, dried his hands and replaced the towel neatly before turning back to Castiel.

"Come here" Castiel instructed and Dean walked over the kitchen island. He looked at the objects Castiel had laid out on the table. Dean's eyes fell immediately on a package that looked like a pregnancy test, he glanced up at Castiel.

"Er..."

"That is the drugs test. It testes your urine for a number of different things, but first... The CO test"

Castiel opened a small plastic packet and out fell what looked almost like a chunky stop watch and a straw. Castiel picked up the straw and inserted into the hole on the stop watch looking contraption. He pressed a tiny power button and then passed the machine to Dean, and watched him expectantly. Dean knew he hadn't smoked, but he still felt nervous. Feeling slightly foolish he took a deep breath as he put the straw to his lips, his eyes meeting Castiels as he blew down the straw hard. The machine beeped three times and Dean removed the straw and without looking at the machine handed it to Castiel. Castiel took it and looked at the screen.

After a moment he looked back up at Dean "Congratulations Dean"

Dean frowned at him, unsure if his tone was serious.

"You are now a non-smoker" Dean's shoulders relaxed as Castiel went on "How are you finding the cravings?"

Dean laughed "Honestly, I'd love a cigarette right about now"

Castiel picked up a small spray bottle "Open your mouth" Dean frowned at Castiel, so Castiel repeated in a firmer tone "Open your mouth, Dean"

Dean swallowed but obeyed. Castiel squirted the spray bottle into Dean's mouth

Dean pulled a face against the sour taste "Ew What is this that.. it tastes like.."

"Lemon," Said Castiel "Whenever you get a craving, you will use the lemon spray. Eventually, you will subconsciously associate the craving of a cigarette with a bad taste, and the cravings will cease. It will help your cravings to end sooner than they would naturally. Now I will show you to the bathroom, so you can do the drugs test"

"I actually don't need to.. go" Said Dean feeling foolish again

Castiels eyes narrowed at him, in suspicion.

"No, I'm not trying to get out of it. I just can't go if I don't need to. Do you have anything to drink?"

Castiel did a half smile "Yes, water, green tea, fresh juice?"

"Juice" Said Dean

"Very well, juice it is. And then you can do the test later" Said Castiel walking over to the fridge and pulling out a carton of orange juice and pouring Dean a glass before turning back to the other items on the table "These are for you. Nail cutters and a nail file, you will keep your nails in immaculate and short condition, we will always be wearing surgical gloves when we.. work. So short, filed nails are crucial for keeping the integrity of the glove uncompromised"

Dean nodded thinking 'That makes sense'

Castiel motioned to the table in the living room "Let's sit" He led Dean around the stairs and through the open archway to the living room and sat down at the table, pulling a coaster forward to where Dean was obviously meant to sit. "Do you work Dean?"

"Yeah, but its usually odd jobs" Castiel frowned at Dean's answer

"That is not ideal," He said thoughtfully

"Why? What's not ideal about it?" Asked Dean watching Castiel

"A steady, respectable job.. is one of the best camouflages you can have" Castiel made a disgusted face as he was reminded of his latest victim - the priest.

"So I need a new job?" Said Dean shifting uncomfortably "I don't really have much experience in anything.."

"Do you like animals?"

"Yeah sure. Why?" He asked puzzled

"Just thinking out loud, maybe you could come to work at my clinic... It would give us a reason to be seen together outside of the real reason, as well as the job its self. You wouldn't be treating the animals of course but you would be cleaning out there cages and cleaning the clinic, jobs like that" Castiel paused and tilted his head at Dean "Would that be acceptable?"

"Yeah," Said Dean thinking about it, steady shifts, regular work "Yeah that would be acceptable"

"Good, I will have to advertise the job and you will have to come in for an interview, it will be suspicious if I hire you out of nowhere. You will have to act as though you do not know me. Are you a convincing liar?"

Dean felt like this question was a trap "I.. I can pull off acting like I don't know you" He answered carefully

Castiel's lip curled into a tiny smile for a moment "We will test that, beforehand. That will be added to your training. I will teach you how to remain calm under pressure, although.. you aren't doing too badly today considering you thought I might attempt to murder you"

Dean's eyes shot up to meet Castiel's and he could feel his face flush...

"Yes," Said Castiel shaking his head "That! Is exactly what you will learn to control. You give yourself away to easily Dean" Said Castiel standing up suddenly, he picked up Dean's empty glass from the table and walked back to the kitchen to refill it, Dean blinking in annoyance at himself, his cheeks returning to there normal colour, before Castiel was coming back and handing Dean a now full glass of orange juice "And just so you know, I can not kill you, you do not fit my code. I do not kill people just to keep the information they hold a secret. You are safe with me Dean. Drink" He added

Dean drank the orange juice down quickly, glad for a reason to not have to speak.

Half an hour later Dean was finally in Castiel's bathroom, with the pregnancy test look alike. He ripped open the packet and took a deep breath before setting it down on the sink and undoing the buttons on the front of his pants, as he relieved himself, he thought about how messed up his current situation was. He had killed a man, he'd gotten away with it too - thanks to Ellen. And now here he was, in the home of another killer, peeing on a stick to prove he wasn't on drugs... Although Castiel's tests seemed weird Dean was strangely glad for them, even though he felt slightly humiliated, the fact that Castiel was testing him and creating this solid level of trust between them... Dean was doing the tests sure, but Castiel had invited him into his home.. wasn't that a show of trust... So yeah, Dean would pee on the stick, prove he was clean and then he could move on to whatever these lessons or this training were that Castiel seemed to have all figured out already. Dean felt comforted that Castiel had planned ahead, there was a plan, no doubt there was a backup plan too, Dean felt completely reassured that Castiel was going to take care of him, teach him everything he knew.. and he was convinced now that Castiel's words were true... Dean was safe with Castiel.

He tapped the test on the edge of the toilet seat to get any excess urine off, he dropped the stick into a clear plastic zip lock bag that Castiel had given him. His heart jumped at the sight of a black dot growing on the screen.. what the hell did that mean?

He wiped around the toilet seat, just in case and flushed the toilet before washing his hands, that black dot growing all the while to fill the little screen.

As he opened the bathroom door, he nearly jumped out his skin to find Castiel waiting close by, not so close that he would have heard Dean wee, but close enough that he startled Dean.

Dean held the test up and showed the little black dot to Castiel "What does black mean?" He asked

Castiel relaxed at the sight of the black dot "If the color is orange it shows a positive test for amphetamines. If the color is purple it is a positive test for opiates. The following colors are a negative result: blue/black, green or red. You have passed stage one of earning my trust, Dean. Have I passed yours?"

Dean stared at him "I didn't test you?"

"I know. But that doesn't answer my question. Trust needs to run both ways... Do you still believe I could be tempted to kill you?"

Dean stared at him even harder now "No" He answered truthfully

"Good," Said Castiel nodding "If you have anything you wish to ask..? You may as well burn that" He said pointing to the test in Dean's hand. Castiel led Dean out through a door that Dean had mistaken for a large window on the other side of the glass stairway. To a fire pit. Castiel must have gotten the fire going while Dean had been in the bathroom as small but steady flames were already eating away at a bundle of papers and twigs "That's your welcoming gift from Ellen, by the way" Said Castiel pointing to the papers.

Dean frowned "What is it?"

"Your paper file from the station, a few petty crimes in your past may seem like nothing, but your fingerprint was on the system.."

"Was" Smirked Dean looking at Castiel knowing where this was going

"We took care of it. Well, Ellen took care of it. Congratulations, you no longer have a criminal record of any kind" Castiel tilted his head at Dean, with the smallest smile on his face "The stick"

Dean dropped the pee stick into the flames and they took a step back as the plastic burned. Dean was watching the flames when it dawned on him how great a risk this Ellen was taking on him...

"I don't understand" He suddenly said randomly

Castiel turned to him "What?"

"Well, Ellen.. taking all these risks on me? She would get in serious trouble if she was caught destroying my file... so why?"

Castiel sighed and looked for the first time slightly uncomfortable "Ellen is going to have to leave the police force soon. She took the chance now because she won't be able to later"

Dean shook his head "Why take the chance at all?"

Castiel looked Dean straight in the face "In the interest of being honest and open... Ellen took a chance on you... for me. She... She. Ellen is very sick. Irreversibly sick. She doesn't want me to be alone after..." Castiel trailed off but Dean understood

"She's dying?" He asked quietly

Castiel nodded, his eyes suddenly very focused on watching the flames.

"I'm sorry" Said Dean in a hushed voice 


	7. Work and Words

The flames burnt out, the papers had turned to ash and Dean's criminal file was gone for good. Dean fumbled in his pocket, pulled out the lemon spray bottle and glanced at Castiel quickly before spraying it one in to his mouth, the taste was vile, sour lemon, but Dean figured if Castiel had gone to the trouble of finding out it would help, the least he could do was show his willingness to try and stick with it, and after finding out the policewoman who had spared him from a cell was dying, he could really use a cigarette. No one had done anything for him like she had, and she didn't even know him, he'd killed a man and instead of arresting him she had seen some kind of messed up 'worth' to him, and even risked her own nephew's freedom to help him. He knew he was no threat to Castiel, but Castiel and Ellen couldn't be sure of that yet, he wanted to prove to them that he wanted to learn anything Castiel had to teach him. There was no doubt in Dean's mind that getting the kind of men Castiel dealt with off the streets was a good thing if they couldn't keep there disgusting hands of children, they didn't deserve to live.

Castiel saw Dean use the lemon spray out of the corner of his eye. 'Good' he thought to himself, at least Dean is showing willing, maybe this wasn't going to be the complete disaster he had thought. He turned away from the fire pit, caught Dean's eye to indicate they were going back inside and walked back into his house.

"So when Ellen first spoke to you about.. getting help... What did you say?" Asked Dean thinking he already knew the answer

"I told her I was fine. This is a huge risk, which I wouldn't have taken but since she isn't well I feel I have to respect her wishes... She has done so much for me, I will do pretty much anything I can for her, while I can. Including this"

"So you didn't want to even meet me?" Asked Dean guessing he could understand that

"When she first told me about you, it was before she'd told me about her health issues. I was not pleased" Said Castiel calmly "But now I know that she is trying to get her things in order.. so to speak. Me being one of those things, she wants to make sure I will be alright.. after.." Castiel sighed "It is difficult to remain angry with someone who only has your best interests at heart.. or is ill"

Dean nodded "Yeah I get that" 

Castiel looked at Dean "So far though, this has gone much smoother than I had imagined. I'm beginning to think she may have been right about you Dean. We have a lot of work to do before you will be ready... A lot. But I think it will be worth it"

 

***

Ellen arrived at Castiel's house a few hours after Dean had, she greeted Castiel with a hug, then he went to fix her a drink and she eyed Dean "How are you doing?"

Dean smiled at her "I'm fine, thanks" He had almost gone on to say how are you, but considering what Castiel had told him about Ellen's illness earlier thought better of it, so followed up with "It's nice to see you again Ellen, I wanted to thank you, you know for everything. My file.. and trusting me, when you didn't have any real reason to"

She nodded "You're welcome. Don't make me regret it"

Dean nodded at her "I have no intention of letting you, or Castiel down"

Ellen smiled but then said in a low voice "That's good Dean because as I am sure you know by now, I have nothing to lose, except Castiel, so if you hurt him.. in any way... I will take you down, just so we understand each other" Dean nodded, he knew she was serious.

The rest of the afternoon was spent creating Dean a resume that he would hand in at Castiel's clinic when he advertised the job. Ellen and Castiel helped him write it up on Castiel's computer and then Castiel printed a copy off.

"I'll let you know when I post the job," He said calmly, looking at Dean with a tilted head as he handed the resume to Ellen.

Ellen looked over the document one more time, before nodding "Looks good"

"Half of it isn't true" Said Dean shaking his head

"That's alright Dean, it just has to look in order," Said Ellen handing the paper back to Castiel who slipped it into an envelope.

"Let's go through the interview," Said Castiel taking a seat and motioning to Dean to sit too. 

***

When Dean finally left Castiel's, Ellen gave him a lift home. He had been given a practice interview so Castiel could see how good of an actor he was and how he would answer the questions, just in case someone else who worked at the clinic overheard the interview, they had to make it as real as possible... Even though they both knew Dean would be offered the job, it was about keeping up the pretense that they had never met before... He had 'homework', sadly not even the kind he could claim that a dog had eaten. He was told he had to start exercising... Castiel had given him a list of stretches he was meant to do before going for a run. He'd even printed him off one of those work out sheets, 'From couch to 5k'. He also had to start taking better care of his nails and find something suitable to wear for an interview for when he would be interviewed at Castiel's animal clinic. Castiel advised him to keep using the lemon spray too and he was told not to contact Castiel again until he heard from him about the job.

That night as he lay in his bed, Dean couldn't get Castiel out of his mind. He felt sorry that Castiel would lose the closest person to him, he felt sorry that it was Ellen, who had shown such faith in him. He hoped he could prove to her that she'd made the right choice before she died, he didn't want her to go... worrying about him. He was going to prove to them both he could do it. Whatever Castiel asked. The next morning he woke up earlier and following the sheet of exercises Castiel had given him, began his new work out routine. 


	8. The Work Begins.

The interview had, of course, been a success, what with Dean's having been coached on how to answer each question put to him and told what to wear. Castiel told he Dean would be called and told the decision soon and with that Dean left Castiel's animal clinic. That evening Castiel had called him and told him he was going to pick him up, from their spot in the park.. 

Once at Castiel's house, Castiel led Dean in to a room he'd never been into before, it seemed to be a music room, a grand piano in one corner and a violin in another. There were many music books neatly stacked on a shelf and a chair next to each instrument.

"Sit" Said Castiel pointing to the chair near the violin as he sat at the piano. Castiels long fingers trace over the piano.. the cold hardness of the keys against his smooth finger tips pressing down on them as he began to play.. creating a beautiful sound, Dean isn't exactly a fan of classical music, but he can see that Castiel has skill over the instrument before him. 

"You are going to learn a tune on the piano, a tune you will be able to play perfectly from memory, before I will even think about letting you come with me on a kill" Says Castiel looking up at him "Learning to play an instrument, takes patience and practise.. it takes discipline and dedication.. These are things you must demonstrate to me, that you are capable of. As with memorising the tune.. you will also have to remember a kill check list that I am going to prepare for you.. this is something that you must learn and dedicate to memory, you will not have the sheet music in front of you when the time comes for you to perform it for me.. like on a kill.. you will not have the check list, you must be able to remember these things.. ticking them off in your mind.." 

Dean nodded wishing he had the first clue of how to play the piano. 

"You will learn this.." Said Castiel as he began to play the piano verision of Beethoven's Fur Elise.. Dean's eyes widened partly in awe at how Castiel played, and partly in worry that he would never master the song being played to him. 

"Castiel" Said Dean nervously 

"Yes?" 

"Do I.. I mean.. Are you going to teach me to play the piano?"

Castiel paused, fingers still over the keys "I will teach you how to play the piano, how to read the music.. This song however, you must learn to master yourself" 

"I don't own a piano?" Said Dean feeling as though that should have been his first comment 

"You will practise here" Said Castiel turning back to the piano and beginning to play again "I think you shall be spending rather a lot of time here Dean, as I have said before, we have a lot of work to do before I take you out on a job with me, the more time you spend here, learning. The better. Now that we will be beginning to work together, it will be assumed that we have struck up a friendship.. possibly even a relationship.. It makes sense to encourage these 'ideas'. So that we can be seen together without much suspicion. I will teach you how to play the piano, I will get you in to a regular exercise routine, you should have already begun taking runs, have you?"

"Yes"

"Good.. Your body and your mind must be in the absolute best conditions, for our work to be successful. I still constantly work on myself, training myself in one way or another almost every day. Learning a second instrument.." He points to the violin "and continuing my exercising. Eating well and getting enough sleep are just as important for your mental well being. Do you sleep well?" 

"Yes" Said Dean

"Good, I aim to sleep seven and a half hours to eight hours each night, your REM sleep cycle occurs roughly every ninety minutes so I aim to complete five REM cycles to keep my mental awareness at full potential" Said Castiel matter of factly "You should aim to do the same"

"Er.. REM cycle?" Asked Dean

"During your sleep, there are different stages of sleep..  REM sleep, is where your brain and body are energized and dreaming occurs. REM is thought to be involved in the process of storing memories, learning, and balancing your mood. In other words, it is the stage of sleep where you recharge yourself properly" Said Castiel

"How do you know all this?" Asked Dean

"To do what I do.. and to be perfect at it, I have researched many 'unusual' things, for example, foods that improve your memory, such as.. Avocados, Beets, Blueberries, Broccoli, Celery. And so on.. I'll print you the list for those.. You should try to include more of the things you like from it in your diet. However, I am not asking you to eat foods you do not like, making you miserable and having you feeling sick would be counter productive" 

Dean nodded, unsure of what to say. He'd never even tried an avocado before.. 

"How are you coping without smoking?" Asked Castiel suddenly

Dean reached in to his pocket, pulling out the lemon spray bottle "This is a fresh one, that's why its full. I've still been using it. I haven't smoked"

"Good"

"Are you going to test me?" Dean asked

"Do you want me to?" Asked Castiel looking at him 

Dean bit his lip, he wanted Castiel to trust him, but.. he also wanted to prove that he hadn't smoked.. he wanted Castiel's praise.

"You can do. I wouldn't mind" 

"Very well Dean.. We shall test you" Castiel stood up and Dean followed him to the kitchen, where he passed the CO breath test for a second time

"Well done Dean. I have never smoked myself, but I have researched it, and I know quitting can be very difficult for some people" Castiel's praise left Dean tingling and he grinned at him as he went on "Clearly you do have some dedication already" 


	9. Anger and Thunder

Three months of training Dean and it had been going well, he was tackling every new challenge Castiel set for him and physically was in the best shape of his life. He'd started working at the clinic. Dean's life was a well mapped out routine, one that Castiel had put in place for him. He'd been fake questioned by Ellen, in case anything ever messed up on a kill, they could see how he would answer questions, he'd kept his fingernails short, he'd kept his shoes clean, he was setting up habits that could very well save him from a life in prison

"I know exactly how I got this way," Says Castiel looking at the photograph of his father in his hand, before looking up at Dean "But why are you here?"

Casitel doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, he doesn't do drugs.. when Castiel gets angry.. people die. He wanted to know why Dean felt drawn to this, to him.

"I'm here to learn, to help you," Said Dean watching Castiel carefully, they'd just come back from a run, it was the only time Dean saw Castiel a little less composed.. a little sweaty, a little out of breath... "I want... I need to stop the people who prey on innocent kids... That guy... I know, he wasn't a child groomer, he was a bully... My little brother, he was smart, like... lawyer or doctor smart... He could have done great things... He ended up taking his own life because that guy made his life a living nightmare..."

Castiel looked at Dean "You killed him because he hurt you" Dean nodded wondering if that was to outside the rules for Castiel, his code...

"Like myself.." He put the photograph on the top of the piano, so Dean can see it "I killed my father because he hurt me. I understand the need to take back your power. I am sorry about your brother Dean"

Dean's looking at Castiel's fathers face, knowing he is already dead... but hoping he suffered, hoping Cas had the revenge he deserved.. he'd been about to ask Castiel how he killed him...

But Castiel spoke first "Play Dean," He said removing the sheet music from in front of Dean. Dean swallowed... He could play now, and play well... but could he remember the notes... His fingers stretched out over the smooth keys in front of him... He began to play... His hands seeming to move of there own accord across the piano... Surprising himself as he played Beethoven's Fur Elise.. perfectly...

As Dean finished.. he looked at Castiel... Seeing, what looked like pride for a moment on his face. Dean's chest swelled. 

"Very good Dean. You play beautifully" Said Castiel turning away from him as he heard the door open, Ellen walked slowly into the room, having heard some of the music she gave Dean a weak smile and nodded...

"It's time," She said, as she looked at the two men in front of her "I've got to quit work... I'm too bloody tired all the time to do it anymore. Is there anything you need me to do first?"

"There is just the release date of that target we discussed.." Said Castiel looking at her with concern...

"Yes," She said nodding "Two weeks today"

"And the time? And that's all I needed" Castiel said, turning to Dean, trying not to think about why Ellen was tired or leaving her job "Peter Jackson. You will come with me. You are ready, to shadow me on a kill"

***

Two weeks later Peter Jackson, a predator, was released back on to the streets... He'd been arrested and locked away for nearly two years, for numerous counts of child pornography found on his computer as well as the fact he had been talking to young teens, both girls and boys in teenage chat rooms online...

Dean and Castiel had followed him from the station, getting his release time from Ellen, they'd stalked him through the day, Dean had continued to trail him as Castiel had gone to set up a kill room in an old barn, Dean texting him locations every so often, so that Castiel knew he was still on their target. Castiel was beginning to think, he and Dean could do this.. be a team. Dean had passed every test and tonight... Castiel would get to see Dean react to a kill.

The room was ready, the floor of the barn cleared so that when they brought in Peter they wouldn't have to worry about treading in anything that would stick to their shoes, wouldn't have to worry about tripping over anything. With gloved hands, Castiel had pulled the large wooden table to the center of the room.. he'd checked all the exits of the barn, he'd checked the distance from the main road, the distance to the nearest house.. it was perfect.

Castiel left to meet up with Dean, removing and zip locking the gloves into a bag with his shoe covers, he felt certain.. he hadn't forgotten anything, that he had checked and re-checked every detail. Tonight he was going to be the teacher, Dean his student.. and it needed.. to be perfect.

***

Dean and Castiel followed Peter Jackson to a bar... He went in and they waited... Watching.

Castiel looked at Dean sometime later, the silence is thick between them. He said "You are ready for this Dean"

Dean nodded, the nervousness in his stomach dying down... Castiel believed he was ready, he hadn't asked... He told him, he was. 

"He is coming out," Said Castiel shifting in his seat to grab the ziplock bag with the chloroform soaked cloth in it "Stay close, getting him in the car quickly is crucial" 

Dean followed Castiel out of the car and walked up the other side of the street towards Peter, who was stumbling, slightly drunk. 

Castiel approaching from the other side, staying behind Peter.. Slipping the surgical gloves over his fingers quickly as he stalked closer... He could see Dean ahead of him and Peter, he gave him a tiny nod. 

"Hey man.. You got a light?" Dean said as he got close to Peter. Peter stopped and opened his mouth to reply.. just a gloved hand came around his head and a cloth covered his mouth... Castiel held the cloth over his mouth, Dean checking about them quickly for witnesses, still clear. Dean's gloved hands holding Peters arms down as he attempted to struggle against Castiel.. but his eyes were already losing focus as he breathed in the chemicals on the cloth... He stumbled forward, Dean catching him.. Castiel put the cloth back into the ziplock bag as he hurried back to the car, pulling it up next to Dean and the unconscious man and popping the trunk open, he jumped out... Helping Dean to lift the man into the trunk of the car. 

"Good. Pass me the zip ties, quickly" Said Castiel his voice wired, electric. Dean handed him four zip ties, one at a time. Two for his hands and two for his ankles. Then Castiel patted Peters jacket pockets until he found his phone. He turned it on to silent, and threw it into a bush outside the bar Peter had been in.. For now, Peter was no doubt on probation, and Castiel thought that the alarm for his being missing would be raised sooner if his phone was off, also... The probation officer would likely be able to track his phone... So Castiel didn't want to take it with him, even switched off... 

When the police looked into it, they would know he'd been to this bar anyway... They would know he'd drank, with any luck.. they would figure he dropped his phone drunk or even better, that he threw it and planned to flee his parole. 

***

Dean had watched, everything, every move Castiel had made. Everything. Getting Peter into the barn, still mostly out of it. Putting him on the table. His hands still zip tied down.. A loud clap of thunder outside seemed to have woken Peter more, and he began to struggle. 

"Hello Peter," Castiel said looking down on him, knife in his hands "I've waited a long time to meet you" 

Peter's eyes darted from Castiel to the blade, to Dean, who blinked. Peter had a strip of tape over his mouth, he couldn't speak, but his muffled protests weren't quiet. 

"Shhh Peter, You must know why you are here. You must know.. you deserve this. You were going to harm those too young and innocent to defend themselves. You have had two years longer than you should have.. I was there when you were arrested... The police found you.. minutes before I got there... But no matter, I have you now. You preyed on the most vulnerable, did it make you feel big? How does it feel now? Now that you are the prey? I am not going to defile you, as you would have, those children... That is the small mercy I shall grant you. This is about justice, about keeping other children safe from you" Castiel's voice remained calm as he repeated his chosen words, words he said to nearly all his victims, making sure they understood... "I wonder if the children you were planning to torture would have looked at you like this? If they would have begged you to stop? Did you ever feel anything other than your own sickness while you looked at there photographs, while tormented them online, making plans to meet up with them... To take them from their families... Would you have made them feel like they deserved it or that it was somehow there fault? It doesn't really matter now. Because I don't feel anything, looking at you... Just disgust. You will never get the chance to hurt anyone's child. You are just a monster and I'm in the business of dispatching monsters"

This was the first time Dean had heard Castiel's speech, and it chilled him. But also.. as he watched Castiel, looking down on the man bound and gagged... He felt something, something that got his heart racing... Castiel had always shown power over Dean, commanding him to complete tasks, telling him what to do and what not to... But Dean had grown to feel safe around Castiel, to trust him... This was Castiel.. demonstrating his power over someone else.. Someone, evil. Someone Castiel was going to end.. And as he raised his blade and Dean saw Peter's eyes grow wide, he felt the sudden and ever so slight twitch in his pants... It was Castiel, killing a monster... Keeping children safe.. and.. it was hot. 

The blade came down, as a flash of lightning light up the darkness, cutting deep across Peter's throat and the blood oozed up from him.. thick and red... 

Peter Jackson, the man, the monster.. was gone. And Castiel added his tiny tick cut to mark his kill

***

Sometime during the 'clean up' Dean heard Castiel speak to him.. all thoughts of arousal suddenly vanishing as the ice cold voice pierced through him... He looked up at Castiel...

"Dean.." Castiel was staring at Dean with an expression that Dean had never seen before and it terrified him...

"What?" He asked quietly, checking behind him.

"You are bleeding. Your nose is bleeding" Castiel was crossing the room towards Dean.. as Deans hand rose to his face "DON'T" Castiel stopped his hand before it touched his face "Get out"

Dean looked at Castiel, his heart racing, this was one of the very few times they had actually touched. Castiel looked seriously pissed off... He lowered his hand from Dean again... His eye's sharply cutting through him.

"Cas?" 

"Get out! GET OUT" He shouted, Dean, turned quickly, fear gripping through him. Staying quiet on a kill was one of Castiel's top rules.. but here he was shouting at Dean...

Dean moved towards the door, slipping through it without touching anything...

Castiel stood in the room.. alone, aside from the dead man on the table. He was losing it. Dean was bleeding, bleeding in a crime scene.. infecting the scene with his DNA... He looked around him.. Thinking... Taking on an apprentice, what a fucking great idea... Dean's first time shadowing him on a kill and he had fucked everything up...

Taking a deep breath Castiel made a decision... He walked over to the door and slipped through it.

"We need gasoline," He said to Dean not looking at him... He hadn't decided yet what to do about Dean, but for now, he needed his help.

"Gasoline?" Asked Dean nervously

"You are bleeding, you may have bled in there.. which means we have to cleanse the entire crime scene... We have to burn it down. Let me see your face" Castiel looked at Dean's face, just as the sky crackled with lightning again.. and it started to rain "Shit"

"Fuck.." Said Dean, his face breaking with the realization "It's the storm, I use to get nosebleeds during storms... It hasn't happened for years through"

Castiel looked at him, still furious "You're excited, your increased heartbeat is sending blood through your body at a slightly accelerated rate, couple that with the change in air pressure due to the impending storm... is why you have a nosebleed... You have burst a blood vessel in your nose... Shit" Casitel looked about them "Dean.. one drop of your blood is all they would need. We need to burn it all down"


	10. Staying Grounded

Dean had driven away, going to look for gasoline as Castiel had ordered him to, Castiel had stayed behind, he knew there was a chance that Dean would bail, just leave and not come back, but he chose to believe that Dean would return, well for the next hour anyway, then he would have to flee, whether the barn burned down or not. The old barns floor had been covered in sawdust and hey, that he had swept to the sides of the room earlier that day... He was now, furiously spreading it around the room again, all along where they had worked, the dry straw would burn well... He was working quickly. He wanted to get things ready for Dean's return, so they could leave as soon as possible, his tea light candle was already lit, he wanted it to burn down some so he was sure it would work Dean returned. 

The epic fuck up that was unfolding before him, had Castiel assessing his choices, taking on Dean was one thing, but letting him join him on a kill so soon... He shakes his head, it was too soon, far too soon.. What was he thinking. He knew of course that Dean's nose bleed was an accident, knew that it wasn't really Dean's fault. But... Dean had never even mentioned it before... Castiel wondered suddenly, what else had Dean not mentioned? Was he going to be coughing and sneezing all over a victim who'd been near a cat? What if there was a high pollen count one day, would Dean be to 'teary' eyed and snotty to be involved in a kill. Allergies... Fears... Triggers... What the fuck was Castiel doing with Dean on a kill so soon... He had trained Dean as though Dean was him... He hadn't made any personalization's for Dean... He hadn't really thought about how Dean's experiences would have been different to his own and therefore Dean being able to cope under pressure, like the kinda of pressure he would be under watching Castiel murder a man in cold blood, was uncertain. The man Dean had killed... Had personally affected Dean's life, but the man on the table, he was just a name and a face to Dean... Not like to Castiel, who had been waiting for this particular kill for a long time... 

He looked about him, at the body still on the table, seeming to mock him in his situation. The old trunks of junk that filled the corners of the room he walked over to them to see if there was anything useful to get the fire going with. 

***

Dean returned and Castiel breathed a sigh of relief, he had believed he would, but actually seeing him slip back in through the barn door, with two large gasoline canisters calmed Castiel in a way he hadn't experienced for a long time. He wasn't alone. Ellen may not be here for much longer, but Dean was. Dean who had fucked up, accidentally.. but was now trying to help correct it, rather than run for the hills. 

Castiel blew the tea light out, then he and Dean poured the contents of the canisters over the dead body, saturating Peter Jackson's corpse, poured it over the floor and sloshed it carefully up the walls, before Castiel instructed Dean to go and get the car running and wait for him... 

Leaving a wet trail of gasoline to near the door, Castiel turned away from it to relight the tiny candle.. estimating he had about a minute or so before the flame would hit the gasoline... He bit his lip as he carefully put the candle on to the wet ground... Swallowing as it landed. Then stepping back, still watching the tiny flame on the floor. He shook his head... He was an arsonist now too.. wonderful. 

He closed the barn door carefully, trying not to create a draft and walked quickly away to the car, where Dean was waiting... Castiel waited by the car door... If the fire didn't start... He would have to go back in.. Dean opened his car door and got out, watching the barn... 

"How long do you think?"

"Not long, any second now," Said Castiel still not looking at Dean. 

Suddenly there was a 'whoomph' sound as the flames of gasoline were born inside the barn... The air thick with smoke in a matter of moments... 

"Let's go," Said Castiel calmly getting in the car. Through the rearview mirror, they could see the fire eating through the old barn behind them... 

***

Castiel didn't speak to Dean the entire drive back to his house, he was thinking over the fire, would it be enough..? What would he do if Dean got caught.. what would he do if all of Castiel's crimes were pinned on Dean... What would Dean do? 

Castiel walked through his front door, his eyes met Ellen's for a second before he stomped upstairs to take a shower, his clothes smell of smoke, his hair no doubt to.. and the car would need to be aired out. 

When Castiel came back downstairs, in sweatpants and a t-shirt, he could hear Dean explaining what had happened to Ellen.. he listened for almost two minutes... 

"He was kinda scary" Said Dean with a bashful smile at Ellen

"God damn right you should be scared of me!" Shouted Castiel as he walked in glaring at Dean, his eyes dark. Dean's eyes dropping down to the floor automatically, Castiel was pissed, seriously pissed. Dean could feel the rage radiating from him as he walked closer.

Ellen watched the two of them, frowning slightly.. as Castiel continued to rip into Dean... 

"You aren't ready. I wasn't ready. This whole thing... Tonight was an utter fuck up, a complete and epic disaster. A fucking nose bleed... Are you serious? I now get to add arson to my list of crimes, thanks to you" Castiel stomped around the room, fuming, seeming to try and calm himself and failing and the carrying on ranting at Dean... "Dean... You are grounded" 

Dean frowned "What?" a half smile on his face, Castiel couldn't be serious...

"You are banned from coming on a kill with me, until" Castiel glanced at Ellen "Until after. Your first time out, and I have had to commit arson, your first time and you had to leave and return to the scene. We still do not know if we are in the clear from this kill, so I am putting you back on the bench, until further notice. I can't risk letting a fuck-up caused by you.. get us caught, I will not leave " He glanced at Ellen again "I will not leave you" He said to her softly before turning his firey eyes back to Dean "You will stay here when I go out on a.. job, you will continue your training. I will need to be much more thorough with you, your allergies, your triggers, anything like that.. anything that I have missed. We must go back, go through everything" 

"I'm grounded?" Asked Dean, speaking up for the first time, questioning Castiel for the very first time... "I'm not five" 

Castiel eyed him dangerously "Prove it, accept you messed it up, accept you are being retaught and don't pout about it like a child" 

Dean opened and closed his mouth, thinking. To say anything, would just be proving Castiel right, that Dean was pouting, and Dean didn't want to give him the satisfaction, so he gritted his teeth and remained silent. 

"Good," Said Castiel "Now go and shower, you still stink of smoke. I'll get a change of clothes for you" 

***

Dean walked away, annoyed with Castiel, but furious with himself. He had so badly wanted to prove himself tonight, he hadn't had a nose bleed for at least two or three years... What fucking shit luck that it had happened tonight. It had been going well, perfect.. Then he shivered slightly as he remembers Castiel's icy voice saying his name, telling him he was bleeding and then shouting at him to get out. Seeing Castiel lose it, Castiel who was always so composed, always had a plan.. It was unnerving. 

He stepped naked under the warm spray of the shower, feeling some of his tension wash away. He could fix this, he had to...

"I want to carry on.." He muttered to himself, thinking of Castiel, as he squeezed shower gel into his hand. 

*** 

"Castiel... Don't you think you should take it easy on Dean a bit? It was his first time.." Said Ellen once Dean had left the room

Castiel looked at her, already her illness was changing her, her skin was paler, she was thinner.. she looked tired, he sighed "I won't baby him" 

"Sweetheart" Ellen gave him a slight smile "You already are"

Castiel frowned at her "If we get caught... I won't be here, for you. That is unacceptable, I will not leave you alone in.."

"My time of need?" She asked with a slight chuckle 

Castiel did not smile "I will not leave you alone in this... You are more important... You are my family"

"I think you may be... " Ellen bit her lip "Not overreacting, just adding your feelings about me being ill, to how you reacted to what happened tonight. The nosebleed, my illness.. these aren't things that aren't Dean's fault" 

Castiel looked down "I know that" 

"Then, stop acting like he disobeyed you, he does everything you ask him to. And he never questions your reasoning.." 

"It was too soon..." Said Castiel "I took him out too soon"

"That may be true, but I don't think it is. He is a fast learner" She looked at Castiel "He respects you, maybe you should try showing him some respect too. You need to keep your feet on the ground, he is new at this." 


	11. Required information

Dean got out of the shower, wrapped a towel around himself and stood in front of the mirror. Castiel, of course, having one of those anti-fog mirrors, the reflection was perfectly clear, the mirror was completely smooth, un-smudged... Dean looked at it. This was just how Castiel was, clear... He didn't like mess, he didn't like the unexpected, change, mistakes... Dean wondered for a moment if maybe he was into deep. He began picking himself apart, what could he actually bring in to this arrangement? Other than risk. Castiel didn't need him, he'd been doing this for years... Dean couldn't think of anything that he was bringing in to this that was actually helpful.

There was a small knock on the door, it made Dean jump slightly. 

"Dean" Castiel was stood on the other side of the door "I have some clothes for you"

Dean opened the door "Thanks" He said excepting the clothes being offered to him. 

Castiel paused, looking at Dean "Dean..."

"Yes?" Asked Dean feeling nervous again 

"Before the nosebleed. Before that happened. You did well" Castiel gave him a tiny nod and turned and walking away, without waiting for a reply. 

Dean closed the bathroom door, slightly surprised.. but a smile broke out over his face. He did well. The nosebleed was an issue.. of course, but it wasn't really a mistake, not something he did, really... He would just have to pay attention to the weather from now on and prepare accordingly. But Castiel thought.. 'He did well' and all thoughts of being out of his depth, vanished as he let the tiny amount of praise fill him up inside. 

***

It's been a couple of days since the barn fire. Castiel has been researching common allergies. 

"Food allergies are estimated to affect 4 percent of adults. Researchers think nasal allergies affect about 50 million people in the United States. Allergies are increasing. They affect as many as thirty percents of adults. It was a fault on my part to not think about these things before Dean... And for that... I apologize. I need to know if you have any allergies ... all.. Skin allergies, dust allergies, insect sting allergies, pet or hair allergies, drug allergies, mold allergies.. anything that could be a potential problem in the future.." He hands Dean a list with around twenty of the most common allergies before going on "Your nose bleed..." Castiel pauses, tilting his head to the side slowly "Whilst not your direct fault, is an issue. I did some research online.. Things you can do to prevent nosebleeds include..  Avoid picking your nose and keep your fingernails short. Your nails are kept short anyway, and if I ever see you picking your nose.. " Castiel pulled a face "I will be.. displeased"

Dean made a face, as though he was about to speak, but Castiel shushed him and continued... 

"Blow your nose as little as possible and only very gently. Keep your home humidified. And regularly apply petroleum jelly, such as Vaseline, to the inside of your nostrils to keep the inside of your nose moist. So I have got you this.. a humidifier for your home and this... Vaseline." Castiel showed Dean the small home humidifier and Vaseline. If we ever happen to get caught in a storm during a kill again, you will leave the scene as soon as it is safe to do so, nosebleed or not. We need to keep the risk controlled" 

Dean looked up "So I'm not banned from coming on a kill?"

"Oh no, you are. For now. My own failure at adequate preparations for you joining me, being the main reason. Not your actions" Castiel paused before adding "I need to do better"

Dean felt a strange mixture of disappointment and gratitude towards Castiel, so he hadn't outright apologised to Dean for the way he'd spoken to him, but he had for not being fully prepared - even though Dean hadn't brought that up, and wouldn't have, he knows how much Castiel plans ahead, trying to make every detail perfect, but Dean couldn't blame him, not really, they'd been lucky to get out in the clear on the Peter Jackson job. 

"I trust you" Dean looks at Castiel "I'll do whatever you need me to do"

"Thank you, Dean," Said Castiel relaxing "There is something I wanted to talk to you about, regarding Ellen. I am going to ask her to move in here, I want to be able to look after her and if she agrees it will mean I will be able to do much more for her, I wanted to ask you.. when I have to go out on a .. job. If you could stay here and keep an eye on her, keep her company. I know she worries when I go out"

Dean could feel the trust behind the request, he lifted an arm to put a hand on Castiel's shoulder but stopped himself when Castiel's eyes widened, so he let his arm fall back to his side and just repeated... "I'll do whatever you need me to do"

***

Ellen agreed, much to Castiel's surprise to move in with him. 

"If you're sure you want me to, then yes. I want to spend as much time with you as possible, but hon, you know I'll just be getting worse?" She said sadly 

"I know, but that is part of why I want to keep you close, I don't trust anyone else to look after you. I love you too much to put your care in the hands of strangers, Dean has agreed to help, I was thinking you could have my room and I would move into the spare bedroom, that way you would have more space and the on suite bathroom" 

Ellen smiled at him "I don't want to force you out of your room Castiel" 

"You're not," Said Castiel plainly "It is the most practical for your needs, it will make me feel better to know you have everything, you may need, right there" 

"Thank you, sweetheart. Guess I should sell my house then?" She said thoughtfully

"If that's what you want to do, I can help you with that" Said Castiel "I will help you, with whatever you want to do" He hesitated "Have you ever heard of a bucket list? I've been looking some things up online... Is there anything you always wanted to do but never had the chance?" 

"Kiss Harrison Ford?" Chuckled Ellen

Castiel smiled "I'll see what I can do, anything else? Think about it... I want you to be able to..." He trailed off

"I know hon... I'll think about it" 


	12. Creating A Bucket List

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this chapter had me researching some really sad stuff, had me in tears more than once, so just a warning, this chapter will be heavily focused Ellen and her illness.. 
> 
> Possible triggers - 
> 
> Cancer,  
> Symptoms of Cancer,  
> Depression,  
> Mentions of Assisted Suicide.
> 
> To any one, who these may affect who still wants to read this, I hope I have written this chapter respectfully and I hope the things I go in to detail about.. are properly represented. I hope anyone going through something like this or who has been affected by something like this, knows to ALWAYS KEEP FIGHTING. You are not alone. 
> 
> Jen X

Ellen's house sold, surprisingly quickly. She'd had a large payout from the police force too, having to take early retirement, or medical retirement as it was called. Dean and Castiel had helped her pack up some things from her house, they had taken a lot to charity shops to donate and sold some things too. Looking around her almost bare house, Ellen pressed her lips together, blinking... Tears forming in her eyes, this was really happening, she was moving into Castiel's house, to be taken care of.. and there... is where she would die. 

She gulped in a deep breath, pulling herself together "You ain't dead yet" She turned and headed out to the street where Dean and Castiel were waiting for her in the moving van. Dean jumping out to help her up into the van. "Thank you," She said to Dean, before turning to Castiel "I've been thinking about what you said, about making a bucket list, I think I will do that" 

Castiel smiled at her as he pulled the van out of the street and headed towards his own home.

"What kinda things are you thinking?" Asked Dean looking at Ellen

"Well, I have a few ideas... I could definitely go for a message.." She said thoughtfully

"It's about identifying what it is that means the most to you and doing that" Said Castiel eyes still focused on the road "I remember you telling me a story about wanting to shower under a waterfall because your friend had and said it was amazing... Is that something you would want to do?"

Ellen looked at Castiel "How on earth do you remember that? I haven't spoken about that for years..."

Castiel smiled at her "I listen" 

Ellen gave him a warm smile "You know what, yes. That is something I would like to do"

When they got back to Castiel's, Castiel and Dean began taking Ellen's things up to the master bedroom and Ellen was given a pen and paper to work on her bucket list... 

That evening after Dean had left and Castiel had finished setting up Ellen's room for her... They were sat in Castiel's living room. 

"I'm done," She said, Castiel looking up at her from his laptop, he got up and took the list from her as she held it out for him.

Ellen's Bucket List... 

 

  1. Go to a new restaurant to try an unfamiliar cuisine.
  2. Get a massage
  3. Go kayaking or canoeing on a lake or pond.
  4. Take a hike to a waterfall, and shower under it.
  5. Go to a concert of your favorite singer.
  6. Go shopping at a high-end store and try on designer clothes and diamond jewelry.
  7. Watch a sunrise and sunset in the same day.
  8. Take a candlelit bubble bath, with wine.
  9. Get Laid
  10. Die with dignity



Castiel looked up from the list that Ellen had handed to him, he'd been smiling .. until he got to the last two items, where he had frowned... 

"I can't help you with number nine..." He pulled a face, looking at it again "I'm going to pretend I didn't see that one, as for number ten...." 

Ellen interrupted "I want to die by my choice, in my own time and on my own terms.. before I can't make that decision. I just.. I don't want it to be drawn out, I.. I don't want to be in pain" Ellen looked at Castiel, trying to stop her lip from quivering, and wiped the wetness from her eyes "We can get through this, you will. I want us to pick a day. I'll mark it on a calendar and when that day comes... I'll know my journey is complete. We've been going.." She sighs "going through this process of grieving together, I don't want to prolong your suffering, by making you watch me suffer... I don't want that for you hon. I don't want to.. make you stuck, I want you to be able to go on with your life"

Castiel sighed, eyes misty, he sat on the couch next to Ellen facing her and squeezing one of her hands in his own "I had a feeling that this was coming, I know you well enough to know that you would want to do things, your way. I don't want you to go.." He blinked back a tear before continuing "But if you have to go, I would want it to be.. as painless as possible and as you say... On your own terms" He paused again "I wanted to be ready, if you asked, I've been doing a lot of thinking and reading up about it and I already decided, I would help you if it was what you truly wanted, in any way you wish. You have to decide how, and when... There are many options, poisonous gases, like compressed Nitrogen which is said to be undetectable, Carbon Monoxide, more commonly known as the 'the silent killer'. There are fatally poisonous plants, Water Hemlock, Deadly Nightshade, that kind of thing... Alcohol and prescription painkillers, Benzodiazepines, narcotic painkillers and sleeping pills.." 

Ellen smiled sadly as Castiel "Always so prepared Castiel" 

"You're important," He said simply "You shouldn't have to waste your time worrying about things that I can do for you. So.. just have a think about your.. options and what you want, if you want to talk anything over, you know I'm here for you" 

“Thank you, sweetheart, I just.. I feel like an engine running out of steam. It seems like I have just enough energy to do one or two small things, then it’s gone. I've used up my supply for the day. I'm getting tired of being tired. It’s so frustrating! I need the painkillers to do the things I want to do. But then the drugs make me, foggy. As long as I lay still in bed, I’m okay – no pain, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life flat on my back in bed! I want to try and do some of the things on my bucket list... I want to make sure you will be OK, you and Dean" Ellen shook, not with sadness, but with anger, this was unfair and she hated it "I don't want to get to the point where I'm struggling to breathe. I don't want to get to the point where I can't speak or go to the bathroom alone. I just.. I can't..”

"I know.." Breathed Castiel quietly hugging his aunt into him "And I promise" 


	13. Do Go Chasing Waterfalls

Dean looks at the list, Ellen's still sleeping upstairs in Castiel's room, the move the day earlier had really tired her out.

"This is it?" Asked Dean looking up to Castiel "You realize she could do.. most of these in one go... Have a perfect day?"

"What do you mean?" Asked Castiel looking at Dean, frowning slightly

"Ok so.. You can go shopping with her" He points to the list "Take her to some fancy expensive shop, buy her some nice clothes, then come back here... I'll run her a bath and set up the candles and all that so it's ready for when you get back, hire a mobile masseuse to come here, when she gets out of the bath she can go straight into a full body massage, then.." Dean looks up at Castiel "I can set her up with an old friend of mine, Benny... Who I'm sure you'll want to check out first, but we'll get to that.. we book them a table at a fancy restaurant and then.. they go to a gig.. and then.. depending on.. you know. Consent... Ellen and Benny can decide where to go from there... " 

Castiel stared at Dean "You mean.. consent.. I" Castiel was stumbling over his words for the first time since Dean had met him and Dean couldn't hide his smirk "I don't know"

"Well I can show you, Benny, you can check him out, then if you're ok with him, I'll ask him and then we'll ask Ellen.." Said Dean turning back to the list, suddenly looking up again and adding "Just don't kill him, alright?"

Castiel's frown deepened "I wouldn't kill him if he is your friend"

"He's also just a good guy Cas" Laughed Dean shaking his head as he looked back at the list, getting to the last one and looking back up at Castiel, smile vanishing "Die with dignity?" 

Castiel turned away from Dean, seemingly to find something interesting to look at through the window "Yes"  

"What does she mean by that?" Said Dean looking at Castiel

"She.." He took a deep breath, gripping the kitchen counter with his hands "She has asked me.. to help her, when the time comes, to go out on her own terms"

Dean stared at him for a moment, before speaking "What did you say?"

"I promised her I would" 

"Wow," Said Dean softly "Are you ok with that?"

Castiel turned and looked at Dean "What do you mean?"

"Are you going to be alright doing that?"

Castiel's brow creased "I don't like that I have to do it, I don't like that she is.. leaving. But I would do anything to keep Ellen from suffering"

Dean considered this for a moment, noting once again that Castiel - who killed people on a regular basis always avoided the word 'dying' when it came to Ellen, what would he have done if Ellen had asked him.. "Cas..."

"Yes?" 

"You know, if you need me if you need anything.. I'm here," Said Dean "If I can help, with anything for Ellen. I will" 

Castiel swallowed, giving Dean a sad smile "Thank you, Dean, that means a lot to me and I am sure it would to Ellen too"

"You have both done so much for me.." Dean trailed, picking his words "You're the closest thing to a family I have"

Castiel looked at Dean, he'd started out as.. this problem, this risk, but now he believed Ellen had been right, she'd gotten it right the first time, which was lucky really, because either Castiel would have had to consider breaking his kill code or go to jail. There was no doubt in Castiel's mind about Dean now, it was Castiel who was failing Dean, not the other way around, consumed with worry for his aunt's health, he hadn't taken the proper precautions when training Dean... The nosebleed had been a rude awakening for Castiel, it had been far to close a call... He wouldn't allow that to happen again. He wouldn't fail Dean and he wouldn't leave Ellen alone, to protect them as well as himself, Dean wasn't allowed to go on kills with him until.. after.. but he was still training, exercising, learning a new tune on the piano, it was actually astounding, Castiel thought, how quickly Dean had picked it up, like he was a natural. He liked having Dean around, when Dean was there, it gave him an excuse to get out of his worry fog and focus. He knew Ellen had seen Dean as company for him for when she was gone, but Castiel hadn't realized until right now... Dean was his friend, not just his apprentice, he was.. 'the closest thing I will have to a family' .. after. 

"You are family now, Dean," He said after what must have been a long pause... Dean looking at him, a half smile, the half pained expression on his face, grateful. 

***

"HOLY SHIT" Squealed Ellen as the water cascaded down and soaked her completely "It's fucking freezing!" 

Castiel laughed at her as he watched from a nearby rock "Good?" 

"Incredible" She smiled, closing her eyes and holding her arms up around her and turning around on the spot to feel the water beating down on her. Somehow, stood there, under the freezing downpour, she felt connected, to the earth.. to nature. This was how her friend had tried to explain it to her, she'd never understood what she meant, until right now.. this moment. A part of nature... Being cleansed by it... It was almost like a rebirth, she felt like she needed to suddenly confess all her sins.. and when she would step out from the flow of water.. she'd be free of them. Tilting her head from side to side to feel the water hit her neck, she laughed... 

"Really incredible" She opened her eyes "You guys have to come and try this, seriously.. I'm a dying woman, so you can't say no.." 

Dean was leaning against the car, he looked over at Cas "Can't really argue with that" He said pulling his top over his head and discarding it on the ground, truthfully, he'd been dying to get in to the water but it was Ellen's moment and he didn't know if that would have been stealing it a bit. 

Castiel watched, in almost a horrified expression as Dean kicked off his shoes, and pulled down his jeans.. thankfully leaving his boxers on... Dean did a running jump and cannonballed into the pool below, surfacing and swimming to the side where Ellen was stood in her bathing suit... She'd clapped as Dean jumped, but now she was looking expectantly at Castiel... 

He looked back at her pleadingly "Oh.. That's.. No. There could be, God knows what in that water.. bugs.. animal.. feces.. No thank you" 

Dean looked up at him as he climbed the rocks under the waterfall "It's flowing if it was still... fine... But it's flowing, come on" 

Castiel swallowed at the unfamiliar feeling of Dean telling him what to do.. topless Dean telling him what to do.

"Castiel get your ass in here now!" Commanded Ellen firmly, winking at Dean.

Castiel pulled a face "Shit" He muttered as he stood up. He looked over the edge and down into the waters below "Fucking unhygienic cesspit" He opened the car door, sitting on the seat and removing his shoes and then his socks, stuffing them safely into each shoe "We don't even have enough towels.." He muttered, before shouting it out to Ellen "We only have two towels!" 

"CASTIEL COME THE FUCK ON" Ellen shouted back "Don't make me come up there!" 

Grumbling, he pulled his top from his back.. folding it neatly and leaving it on the passenger seat and doing the same with his jeans, he took the keys out of the car and locked the car, hiding the keys behind one of the front tires. 

He walked to the edge again, in just his boxers, feeling uncomfortable... 

"This better make you happy!" He shouted annoyed to Ellen

"You have no idea" Ellen called back grinning 

Castiel cursed under his breath as he took a couple of steps back to get a run-up, as Dean had done... copying Dean with a cannonball too. The water was freezing, but... somehow... after a moment he hardly noticed it... Looking up from the base of the waterfall... It truly was... Incredible.


	14. I See Through You

Castiel is out for the night on a kill, the first since Dean's nosebleed incident. 

"You alright?" Ellen asked looking at Dean, who'd been thinking about what Castiel was doing right now. He blinked and turned his face up to look at her.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" 

Ellen raised an eyebrow at him, almost daring him to ask if she was alright.

"Wow.. ok, death stare. Yeah, I'm ok.." Laughed Dean 

"Really? You looked a little lost in thought" She pressed

"I'm just worried about Castiel, which is pretty stupid I guess since he was doing this on his own for years" 

"I still worry, I love him, I'm always going to worry" Ellen watched Dean closely 

"He'll be alright" Said Dean

"Are you trying to reassure me or yourself?" 

"Both?" 

"You..." Ellen paused, brow creasing slightly "You really care about him, don't you?"

Dean blinked "In the beginning, I think... I was just in awe of him, but now... Yeah. I care about him"

Ellen nodded "Do you love him, Dean?" 

Deans face contorted "What?"

"Do you love Castiel, do you care about him.. just as a friend, or is it more than that?"

Dean sucked in a breath, he thought about Castiel, thought about how strong he was, all the good he did, helping sick animals in the daytime and by night getting rid of sick animals. How the water had traveled down his skin under the waterfall.

"Yeah. I care about him" Dean repeated, but with a completely different meaning, this time. Ellen understood.

"You know when I first saw you, and you were being a little fool hanging around your own crime scene... I thought Castiel could help you, and you could keep him company so he wouldn't be alone, he needed someone to keep his mind ticking... But hon, I don't know if you should think too hard on your feelings.. he may not ever be able to give you anything more than what he already does, he hasn't ever had a relationship, I'm not saying that it isn't possible, but if you try it.. and he doesn't want that.. He may push you away, which would leave him alone again"

"So you're saying.. you don't want me to.. do anything about it?" Questioned Dean

Ellen looks at Dean "I'm not going to ask you not to, or make you promise, that wouldn't be fair, I just ask... that if anything like that ever does, come up or happen.. you really think about how it will affect Castiel if it doesn't work" 

"I understand" Said Dean thinking about it. He did understand, Ellen didn't want Castiel to be alone, Dean didn't want that either... 

"Dean," Said Ellen surprising him out of his train of thought.

"Yeah?"

"There is something else I wanted to talk to you about... Something I need you to do for me... It's important" Said Ellen 

"Okay.." 

***

David Reed.. was not a small man, in fact, he was at least three inches taller than Castiel, and.. he was muscular, strong. Castiel had been stalking him for a few hours each night for the past two weeks, sticking to the shadows, out of sight. Tonight, Castiel was waiting for him, outside his gym, he'd been here most nights and Castiel was counting on him being here tonight. 

David Reed was thirty-four years old, he was one of those people who'd been freed due to a lack of evidence, never even making it on to the Sex Offenders' Register. The girl who had been raped was only thirteen when it had happened, but she'd been out drinking, and he had knocked her out. The evidence just wasn't strong enough, because it had taken her a week to confess to her mother what had happened. By which point, most of the physical evidence had been washed away. 

Ellen had worked the case, almost two years ago now. She had told Castiel that she just knew it was him, and to check him out. Castiel had kept tabs on David Reed ever since then, checking in on him every couple of months, he'd seemed to be keeping his nose clean. Well.. until a couple of weeks ago. The last time Castiel had gone to do a 'routine' check on him, he'd waited until David had left his flat, he'd picked the lock and slipped quietly into his flat... Using a special USB to copy all the files from Davids laptop, he'd made sure that everything was exactly where it should be.. before he had left and returned home, to look at the files on the USB.

He found over 600 images and video files of children... Castiel should have killed him two years ago... Angry and feeling sick, he'd gone back out that night to start his surveillance of David... The problem was that Castiel had a few of these, check and check again targets... He slept soundly at night because he never doubted the guilt of a victim, he always waited until he was sure. Now he was sure about David... 

***

"What the hell happened to you?" Asked Ellen, she and Dean standing up as Castiel came through the front door, his face bloodied and slightly swollen on one side. 

"He heard me behind him and swung a trash can lid at my face," Said Castiel moving into the room 

"And?" Asked Dean, staring at Castiel wide-eyed

"And what? I killed him. I get the job done" Said Castiel snapping at Dean slightly, before turning to Ellen "I brought the trash can lid back, it's in my car, I'm going to have bleach soak it and then get rid of it. My blood alongside his fingerprints, I couldn't leave it behind..." 

"I'll do it" Said Dean wanting to be helpful. Castiel was about to stop him when he felt a soft hand on his shoulder. 

"Let him, I'll grab the first aid kit.. clean you up" 

Castiel gave in, allowing Ellen to tend to the cuts on his face. 

"He was a big guy" Said Ellen whilst cleaning up.

"He was" Agreed Castiel

"You should have taken Dean with you" Castiel frowned at her.. but remained silent, however, the moment she was done he got up and went to go and find Dean.

"I'll do that," He said as he opened the garage door and found Dean gloved up, soaking the trash can lid in a large plastic tub

"That's alright, I've got it," Said Dean smiling at him, Castiel did not return the smile, so Dean stopped "What's wrong?"

"This was my mistake, I like to fix my own mistakes, Dean. I don't need you to do it for me" 

Dean frowned at him "I just wanted to help" He said standing up and pulling the gloves off "I thought we were meant to be a team, you won't let me go on a job with you, and now you won't even let me help with this... Tell me, Castiel... Why exactly am I here?" 

Castiel stared at Dean, surprised "We are a team or rather.. we will be when you are ready. I like to fix my own mistakes, so... thank you but you're no longer needed this evening, you may go"

Dean pulled a face, the idea that Castiel would ever see him as an equal teammate was laughable, and while Castiel's words may have said 'you may go', his tone said 'get out'. 

"Fine" Said Dean angrily walking past Castiel and leaving without even a glance back. 

Castiel sighed.. sinking to his knees, two incidents in the last two kills.. was he losing it? Or was he so divided at the moment that he couldn't focus properly, Ellen, Dean.. everything... there was to much change. He couldn't stop that, but he could bleach a fucking trash can lid, and he would do it to his standard.. and knowing it had been done properly, was how he would calm down. He knew Dean was annoyed with him, but Dean had agreed to do what Castiel said when he first came into Castiel's house. He shouldn't require an explanation, he should just obey. At least, that's how Castiel saw it anyway. 


	15. The Perfect Day

"Do you ever play games?" 

"What kind of games?" Asked Ellen frowning

"Role play, pretend?" 

"Erm... I don't know what you're.."

"That came out wrong... All I mean is that Dean filled me in, on your illness, I hope that's Ok... And I wouldn't have brought it up at all.. Because, well I think you look beautiful, I wouldn't have been able to tell you were ill. Anyway, I wondered, if you wanted to skip all the first date nerves and such? I have had, a lot of first dates, and I don't know about you, but they are generally horrible... So.. if you wanted... we could pretend we've been together for years.. maybe we're married... I think you would probably have proposed to me... you know, wanting to lock down on all this" Benny motioned up and down his own body, as Ellen tried to keep a straight face "I just think... It would be nice to.. remember what it was like to be in love, it's been a long time for me... and we could skip all the crap and go straight to the good stuff.."

Ellen's eyebrow raised...

"Not that... I mean like the hand holding, and not being nervous.. I mean.. " Benny looked Ellen up and down "As I said you are beautiful so that... I'm sure, would be very nice, but if we're married.. do married couples even do that? I hear after saying I do it goes downhill in the bedroom department"

Ellen had tried, to keep a straight face throughout Benny's little speech, but at that last bit she'd started smirking and then said: "Maybe we could be newlyweds?" 

Benny grinned "Alright wifey, what would you like to do first? The cooking or the cleaning?" 

Ellen slapped Benny's arm laughing, she was having fun. Ok, so she had thought that Benny wouldn't know she was ill, but then she figured that wasn't really fair to him and as he was Dean's friend, she could understand why Dean had told him up front. 

"Come on, I believe we have a table reserved, hey maybe we can tell them we just got married and try and get some free shit," Said Benny enthusiastically, as he offered an arm out to Ellen, which she accepted, having fun.. but with a slight churning in her gut... Why couldn't she have met Benny before? Was this her torturing herself... She shook the thought from her mind, she could go home now, alone and sad.. or she could go for dinner with Benny, and try and get some 'free shit'. 

They reached the restaurant arm in arm. Benny holding the door open for Ellen, and for once... it wasn't because she was ill... It was because.. she was a lady. 

Benny walked up to the desk "Me and my beautiful wife here, have a table reserved.." 

"Name?" 

Benny smiled "The Flintstones"

Ellen laughed out loud, even the greeter girl cracked a smile... Before leading them to their table.   
  
"Dean booked us the table... And he thinks I look like Fred.." Shrugged Benny 

Ellen looked at him "You know what... Yeah, I can see that.." 

Benny laughed, pulling out a chair "Wilma?" He said and Ellen realized he'd pulled the chair out for her.

"Thank you," She said slipping into the seat, she tensed slightly as Benny's hands found her shoulders, he leaned around her and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. Just a peck.

"You really do look beautiful" He whispered before moving away and going to seat himself in his own chair, leaving the hairs on the back of Ellen's neck tingling. 

They ordered the most expensive champagne on the menu, along with the most expensive dishes, then.. after Benny paid using some of the money Castiel had given him they went out and got a takeaway. 

"What is up with that, it seems the more you pay for something, the smaller the portion you get.. Fucking fine dining.. my arse" laughed Benny slightly drunk from the champagne. Ellen hanging off his arm for support and leaning across his chest to the tray of fries. 

"There wasn't enough" Agreed Ellen and this was surprising to her since her appetite was nothing like it use to be before she got sick "But it was delicious"

Benny paused, looking around him "You know what..?" He said suddenly

"What?" Asked Ellen looking around too

"I have literally no idea where we are" Benny laughed and Ellen shook her head laughing too, they had been walking around eating fries and talking, paying no attention to where they actually were "Maybe we should finish these and get a taxi to your concert?"

Ellen looked at her watch, they were already late, not that they wouldn't still be able to get in.. but.. 

"Maybe," She said taking the tray of fries from Benny's hands and praying to God he didn't reject her.. "We ditch these and get a taxi to the motel.. now?" 

Benny looked down into her eyes "Are you sure?" 

"Yes" Said Ellen eyes gleaming 

"Then.. yaba daba doo," He said quietly leaning forwards to Ellen, their eyes shutting in unison as their lips met... 

Ellen's whole body sighed, this was amazing.. and.. that made it beautifully sad too. She parted her lips and Benny did the same and they deepened the kiss, Benny's arm's traveling around her back, pulling her into a comforting hug. Making her heartache and skip at the same time... It was so fucking bittersweet... She was trying to keep it together.. 'I will not cry, I will not cry' But her watery eyes betrayed her... 

As Benny pulled away he noticed her tears "I'm not that bad of a kisser am I?" He said sliding his thumbs gently under Ellen's eyes to wipe away the tears.. and then hugging her to his side. 

Ellen snort-laughed at him "You'll do... I suppose.." 

"Huh" Benny's eyebrows almost disappeared into his hairline "Is that a challenge?"

He pulled her to him.. bending her back slightly as he leaned over her, one hand holding her neck, one hand holding her back... He pressed his lips to hers, there was no other way to describe it than.. hot. He licked into her mouth, massaging her tongue with his own, before straightening her out on her feet again. 

Her rosy cheeks and slight breathlessness, giving her away instantly "Wow" She said quietly

"I know, I was thinking the same thing" Benny seemed to want to say something more.. but changed his mind and took her arm again "So, concert or motel my dear?" 

"Fuck the concert, I'll party in heaven.." Replied Ellen, making Benny laugh.

***

Helping Ellen gently out of her coat when they reached their motel room, Benny laid soft kisses on her bare shoulders, her new dress was a halter neck, a black and white.. almost gown.. she'd never worn anything like it in her life... She felt so feminine. Benny hung her coat for her on the back of the door and removed his own, hanging it next to it.. 

"You're amazing, you know?" Benny said looking at her. 

"Shut up" She smiled slightly uncomfortable under the compliment. 

"No, seriously.. I don't know if I could pull that dress off as well as you... Maybe I should try it on and we can compare?" He laughed lightening the mood again, it was like his gift, he could tell when Ellen was going to close to reality and he would drag her back to their roles... Husband and Wife. 

But this was where Benny seemed to hesitate... Standing near the door, looking at Ellen... She was beautiful.. he wanted her, but did she really want this... He needed to know. 

He cleared his throat, walking towards her and asked once again "Are you sure?" 

"Yes" She smiled up at him and they kissed again.. Benny's hands traveling to the back of her neck and unhooking the clip on the halter neck dress.. which seemed to glide down over her body... leaving her in heels, bra, and panties... 

Benny took a step back, looking at her, shaking his head.. "Fuck" 

"Yes," Said Ellen again stepping up to him and starting to unbutton his shirt.. sliding it over and off his arms and then they stumbled towards the bed together, shoes flying across the room here and there... Benny's pants getting discarded along the way... 

They fell together on to the bed.. and Benny worshipped Ellen's body.. and then, an hour later... he worshipped her again... 

***

Ellen waved and smiled to Benny as the taxi pulled away, and with that.. he was gone. She took a deep calming breath and walked up the drive to Castiel's front door. Opening it to find Dean and Castiel playing chess, clearly waiting up for her to get back. 

"Hey" Smiled Dean "How'd it go?"

"It was wonderful, your friend.. was wonderful, such a sweet man" 

"Good, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. And yeah, Benny is a really good guy" Said Dean

Ellen sat on the couch beside Castiel, and Dean excused himself to go to the toilet...

"I know, we said next week... But I want to go tonight" Said Ellen quietly, as she looked into Castiel's shocked face, and saw his eye's glaze over with tears "Oh hon, I love you so much... But I had such a perfect day... I really did, the massage, the lovely bath, the dress.. the dinner.. and Benny..." Ellen swallowed "He was.. perfect. So perfect... I don't want to spend a week thinking about him, wanting to see him again... That wouldn't be fair to him, and I don't want to torture myself wishing we'd met before, or wondering how much of it was an act... I just want to go, now... Whilst I'm happy" 

Castiel swallowed as tears trickled down his face and he nodded "On your own terms, in your own time" 


	16. Role Switch

It was the morning of Ellen's funeral. The weather seemed to match the mood, grey clouds, threatening to rain. Dean arrived at Castiel's early to see how he was coping. He was just about to knock as the door opened before him... His hand dropping back to his side. 

Dean's eyes roamed over Castiel "Are you alright?" He asked worriedly, looking at Castiel. He was unshaven, the buttons are done up wrong on his shirt, tie backward, his hands were hidden behind his back, dark circles under his eyes. 

"Don't ask stupid questions Dean" Castiel gritted out. 

"Ok. Fair point... Then, are you drunk?" Asked Dean, knowing the answer, he could smell the alcohol coming off Castiel.

"No...Yes," Said Castiel swaying slightly on the spot. 

"Shit, alright let me in. I'll make you some coffee" Dean looked at Castiel as he kicked his shoes off on the door matt "Some strong coffee" 

Castiel made a grunting noise that seemed to mean 'whatever'. Dean was worried, he'd never seen Castiel losing it like this and he was about to go to Ellen's funeral where there were bound to be a lot of police officers.  

"Sit down, I'll sort everything," Said Dean taking charge, just like Ellen had told him he may have to, he thought of Ellen.. everything they had discussed while Castiel had been out on a 'job'. She had warned him Castiel might lose his grip, but he hadn't been prepared to see him drunk. He wondered for a moment if Castiel had ever drunk before. His heart ached, not only for Ellen but for the pain Castiel was in. He had assumed he would be safe here, he'd given him the space he'd asked for.. perhaps that was the problem, Castiel had gone from living with Ellen.. to losing Ellen and seeing Dean everyday.. to not seeing him for almost a week. 

Castiel, for his part. Waddled over to the couch, and slumped down on to it.. slightly shaky, dizzy. Feeling lost. But he looked over to Dean "Thank you for coming Dean" 

"Of course," Said, Dean, as he busied himself making a pot of coffee "Where else would I be right now?"

Castiel paused, thinking "Maybe you should come with me today?"

Dean froze, before composing himself and turning to look at Castiel "We talked about that Cas, you said it wasn't a good idea, remember?" 

"I know what I said" Said Castiel looking at him almost pleadingly "But I may have changed my mind" 

"I can't come with you Cas, you told me not to when you were..."

"Sober?"

"Thinking clearly," Said Dean, hoping Castiel would drop the matter... Dean couldn't give him what he wanted, not today. Today, he had to honor a promise to Ellen. 

"You are right, I just.. I don't think I let myself ever really think about this part, the 'after' as I always called it"

"You were being strong for Ellen, I know. She knew too. She told me to listen to you, and I am. That's why I shouldn't come with you today Cas because you told me not to. And right now. I know you're in pain, and I wish to God you weren't... But you're reacting, trying to make decisions based on your pain" 

Dean walked over to Castiel coffee in his hand.. and put it down on the table next to the couch "Stand up" He said, his voice firm and Castiel obeyed him.

Dean looked at him "I'm going to fix this, alright?" He said motioning to Castiel's shirt buttons, Castiel just nodded numbly, so Dean began unbuttoning Castiel's shirt gently, then buttoned them up, correctly, before straightening his tie for him. "Where's your jacket?" 

Castiel swallowed thickly "On my bed" 

"Ok, I'm going to go grab it" He looked at Castiel's messy hair "And a comb, drink your coffee"

Castiel sat on the edge of the couch and pulled the cup towards him as Dean turned around, testing the temperature against his lips, blowing softly into the cup as Dean walked away from him towards the stairs. 

Heading upstairs Dean blinked back tears, this was not his Castiel, not that Castiel was his.. but he was in so much pain, barely functioning. Once upstairs Dean headed for Castiel's bedroom, grabbing his jacket from the bed, then went to his bathroom. He grabbed Castiel's comb and toothbrush and toothpaste. He looked up at the anti-fog mirror.. taking in the cracked image before him. Face twisting with pity.

"Let me see your hands" Dean demanded as he got back downstairs "Fuck Cas," He said as he looked at the cuts across Castiel's knuckles. 

"I'm fine" Muttered Castiel absently. 

"No, you're not. But you will be. Where's your first aid kit?" Said Dean moving away towards the kitchen, he began searching through the cupboards until he found it, then carried it back over to Castiel, who hadn't responded "Listen to me Cas, you have to let me clean you up OK? You can't go out looking like this" Dean opened the first aid kit and Castiel let him tend to the cuts on his knuckles, cleaning them with alcohol wipes and antiseptic cream, before wrapping Castiel's hand in a bandage. Then he grabbed the comb off the table and combed Castiel's hair flat, momentarily enjoying the intimacy of it... Before leaning back and looking at Castiel "There. Much better" 

Dean placed the comb back on the table and picked up the coffee mug again, handing it back to Castiel "Thank you" 

Dean gave him an encouraging smile "You will be alright Castiel, you just have to get through today. Yes?" 

"Yes" 

"You will be around a lot of police today, you will behave as expected, yes?"

"Yes," Castiel looked up to meet Dean's eyes "I won't give myself away if that's what you're worried about?" 

"I.. I'm worried about you. Period" Said Dean looking back into Castiel's eyes... He bit his lip, was he really going to do this? Ellen had warned him, that a sad Castiel was an unfocused Castiel, but an angry Castiel... He could take over the world if he wanted to.. Dean's tongue flicked out, wetting his lips... Castiel's eyes seemed to track the movement. Dean leaned forwards... Castiel's eyes widened. 

"Dean... What are.."

Dean's lips pressed up to Castiel's... They were warm, probably from the coffee and they were soft. Dean's eyes closed.. as he pressed his lips hard against Castiel's. 

Castiel froze, his eyes open way past the point of normal and he shoved at Dean "What are you doing!?" He demanded... Standing and sobering up instantly... 

"I .. I'm sorry" Said Dean quietly looking up at him "You were in so much pain.." 

"I need you to leave Dean," Said Castiel beginning to pace, chest rising and falling quickly "Why did you do that? I didn't give you permission to touch me like that" 

"I'm sorry. Truly. I won't do it again, and I will leave, one on condition" Said Dean, remaining seated, eyes down... submissive. Showing he was no threat. 

Castiel glared at him, dangerously "Which is what?"

"You keep it together today, and you call me later if you need me. I won't do it again" Dean blinked, this was the reaction he'd expected, he'd needed.. but it still hurt. Shocking Castiel in to focus, shocking him out of his depressive funk. Like waking him up.. Dean hoped Ellen wouldn't hold this against him, he'd promised not to mess Castiel around. But this was too important, one slip up today and Castiel could land himself a life sentence.. or a death sentence... And Dean couldn't let that happen.

Castiel stared at him "Fine, now leave" 

Dean nodded and stood up slowly, passing closely by Castiel but not looking at him... He moved away to the front door, hand reaching for the handle before turning back "Don't forget to brush your teeth Cas" 

Castiel looked down at the toothbrush and toothpaste when he looked up again.. Dean was gone. 

***

Dean walked across the graveled drive, towards Castiel's car... He'd swiped the keys from Castiel's kitchen side, after checking the windows to make sure Castiel wasn't watching him.. he popped the boot open, grabbed Castiel's duffel bag. His kill bag, from the hidden compartment under the base of the boot. He replaced the fake base carefully and shut the boot quietly before walking over to his own car and opening the passenger side, and putting the bag on the seat. Again, closing the door quietly. He wandered cautiously back up to Castiel's front door, peering in through the side window, Castiel's toothbrush and toothpaste were gone from the table, and Castiel was nowhere in sight, Dean sighed. 

He opened the door handle carefully, slipped silently back into the house and tiptoed over to the kitchen, setting Castiel's keys down where they had been and backing up, he could hear a tap running upstairs, Castiel had gone to brush his teeth, just as Dean had hoped he would... He slipped back out and let the door click closed, almost noiselessly. He walked over to his car, got in the driver's seat and with one final glance up at Castiel's house, pulled out of the driveway. 

***

Castiel stared at the doorway for a moment, where Dean had disappeared. Blinking... Dean had kissed him.. What the hell? He looked down at the table to his toothbrush and toothpaste, he picked them up. Suddenly thinking, did he expect me to brush my teeth in the kitchen sink? The thought only adding to his annoyance. He went upstairs, seeking some kind of control... He would brush his teeth in his bathroom, like a normal person, thank you very much. 

He squeezed out some of the minty toothpaste on to his toothbrush and then looked up into the cracked mirror.. he leaned closer, looking at his lips, he could still feel the echo of the kiss... It had shocked him, yes. But had it been .. bad. No, not really? He didn't know how to answer that, it had been .. unexpected. Unwanted.. but not... bad. 

 


	17. The Truth

Castiel was stood outside Dean's door. Fingers twitching, nervous. Dean had kissed him, he had pushed Dean away, told him to leave... What had that been about? Why had Dean kissed him.. Why had it only been the shock of it that had made him push Dean away... 

He closed his eyes, hand rising, hating the feeling of being unprepared.. he knocked. Taking a deep, calming breath and waited. 

The door opened, he looked up. Dean was stood in his doorway, in a white tank top, and sweats, looking pale. 

"Castiel, what are you doing here? Are you.." He'd been about to ask him again, if he was alright but thought better of it, stepping aside "Do you want to come in?" 

Castiel didn't reply, he just stepped into Dean's apartment, for the first time ever. He walked into the room, taking it all in, it was dingy, not dirty, but the walls had that old yellowish tinge to them.

"You use to smoke in here" It wasn't a question but Dean nodded. Castiel wrinkled his nose in disapproval.

"But I don't smoke at all anymore" Dean reminded him.

"Yes, you're welcome for that" Said Castiel before taking a seat on the edge of Dean's couch "We need to talk Dean"

"Okay", Said Dean, he was nervous but from what he could tell, Castiel was sober now. He sounded more like himself too. That had to be a good sign.

Dean sat down on the couch, leaving as much of gap as he could between himself and Castiel. The air in his apartment was suddenly thick with suspense, was Castiel mad at him? It was impossible to read him right now... 

"You kissed me" Stated Castiel looking directly at Dean, who blushed slightly.

"I did" Said Dean, eyes flitting between looking at Castiel and looking at the floor.

"Why?" Asked Castiel watching Dean closely.

Dean stared at him "I won't do it again" 

"I asked you why Dean" 

"Well.. two reasons" Sighed Dean thinking how to word what he wanted to say "Firstly, you were a mess this morning, understandably of course. But you were basically headed out, into a lion's den and you were drunk. I knew that it would shock you, wake you up if you like. I know you're probably angry with me for invading your space like that... But I did it because I needed you to be on your game today, and shocking you like that was the only way I could think of to .. do it"

Castiel thought on Dean's words, nodding silently. He figured it made sense, it had worked hadn't it? "You said there were two reasons? What was the other reason?" 

"I wanted to" Said Dean definitely not meeting Castiel's eyes this time "You were in pain, and I wanted to offer comfort"

Castiel scratched the back of his neck, thinking. He stood up again suddenly. "It did, wake me up.. So thank you for that... I'm going to go home now.." 

"Wait? That's it?" Asked Dean getting to his feet too.

Castiel stopped, his back still to Dean "Did you want something?"

"I.. " Dean stared at the back of Castiel's head... Did he want something.. Yes... He wanted Castiel... In every way. He licked his lips "Are you angry with me?"

Castiel turned around, his hard-lined face softening "No, no Dean, I'm not angry... I was confused" 

"Are you still confused?" Asked Dean carefully

"You answered my question," He said calmly

"I don't mean that... I mean" He couldn't work out how to say it, in a way that wouldn't scare Castiel.

"Yes?" Castiel questioned.

"I.. I mean, was it the kiss that confused you, or just.. the why I would I kiss you?" 

Castiel frowned at him "I don't understand"

Throwing caution to the wind Dean blurted out "Did you like it?"

Castiel took a step back, eyes full of panic.. suddenly unable to speak.

Dean takes a small step towards him "Did you?" His eyes locked on Castiel's now, searching him for an answer "I did. I care about you. I look up to you, I needed you to be ok today because I don't want to lose you. Ever. But, if you didn't like it... I will promise to never do that again" 

Castiel is still blinking at Dean, lips slightly parted.. words or the power of speech seemingly lost to him.

Growing slightly bolder under the fact that Castiel hadn't said no... Dean took another step forward, into Castiel's space... "Cas... It's ok" He said, as he knelt down on the floor in front of him "You are still in control, Cas" Dean bowed his head. Castiel stared down at him, heart racing. His hand rose.. open palmed. It wavered over Dean's head for a moment... Did he like it? Was that the same thing as it not being bad? He hadn't even thought about liking it... But as he remembered that morning, Dean taking care of him.. helping him.. then Dean's lips.. pressed up against his own... Yes... Yes, he liked it. His hand settled on the top of Dean's head, fingers in his hair and he closed his eyes... 

"Yes," He breathed out finally "Yes, Dean. I liked it" 


	18. Can I try

Dean could feel Castiel's hand on his head, sending tingles down his spine, the hand withdrew and Dean looked up, into Castiel's ocean blue eyes. Dean was so surprised, he'd hoped of course, but he hadn't really expected to hear Castiel say yes. 

"Stand up Dean" Said Castiel stepping back to give him room. Dean rose up, still looking deeply into Castiel's eyes "Stay still"

Castiel moved around Dean, looking at him. Aware that Dean was right there, waiting, but taking his time to look at him, really seeing him.. the spiky light brown hair, the freckles, those eyes.. lips.. the veins in his neck... He swallowed. 

"Dean," Said Castiel after a while.

"Yes," Said Dean.

"Remove your t-shirt," Said Castiel

Dean's tongue dipped out over his lips and he raised his arms, lifting the top up and over his head. 

Castiel let himself look.. and look... Deans, chest, abs, nipples.. belly button, moving around him.. seeing the light sprinkle of freckles across his shoulders. He raised a hand, extending one finger, and touching Dean's back, sliding it down the line in the middle, Dean shivering slightly under the touch. Castiel looked up as he noticed it, he blinked.. retracting his hand... 

"Dean" 

"Yes" 

"I want.." Castiel paused.. what did he want..

"Yes?" 

"I want to try something, but... I want to tie your hands behind your back... Would that be acceptable?"

Dean let out a shuddering breath "Yes" 

Castiel unbuckled his belt, pulling it from his pants "Arms" 

Dean held his arms out behind him, Castiel wrapped the belt around them and then tightened it... Before walking back to the front of Dean to face him, looking in those green eyes, seeing no sign of distress, seeing only.. hope. 

Castiel took a half step forward into Dean's space, his voice almost a whisper, but still an order.. as he said "Close your eyes" 

Dean closed his eyes.. and waited. 

Watching Dean, close his eyes as ordered, Castiel waited.. thinking.. and making sure that Dean didn't open them again. He couldn't remember feeling this nervous in his entire life, he could feel his heart thumping in his chest... BANG BANG BANG. He sighed. Dean was.. Dean... Dean was beautiful. How had he never noticed this before? He'd never really thought that way about anyone though.. He never thought he would either, and he had accepted that. In fact, he'd been glad of it. But now.. here was Dean, topless, tied, eyes closed... Perfectly obedient completed submitted to what Castiel wanted, acting on his best behavior. 

This was all new to Castiel, these kinds of feelings for .. anyone. He wasn't even sure what the hell these feelings were or meant... He listened to Dean's breathing for a few seconds.. before raising his hand again.. this time instead of extending just a single finger.. he laid his whole hand on Dean's chest, it shook slightly against Dean's skin.. and Dean flinched ever so slightly at the touch... Castiel watched Dean's face for a reaction as he moved his hand up Dean's neck to his cheek...

"Stay still Dean" He hissed

Sending a silent prayer as he closed his own eyes and leaned his head forward, finding Dean's lips.. pressing his own against them... Breathing in through his nose, he could smell Dean. He could feel his slight stubble in his palm.. he could feel the pressure of his lips against Dean's... He felt something else too.. In an entirely different part of his body... a tingling sensation in his groin. He pulled back sharply, blinking.. breathing. Looking at Dean's face, his eyes still closed, his tongue darting out to wet his lips... 

His tongue... 

"Open your mouth slightly Dean" 

Dean swallowed before obeying... And Castiel leaned forwards again.. Much less hesitation this time... He'd seen Dean's tongue.. and he wanted it. Wanted to taste it... His lips met Deans again, this time, Dean's mouth parted further and his tongue rose up to meet Castiel's... Holy Shit... 

Whatever that feeling was in his groin... Castiel liked it.. it was like lion.. that needed to be fed... His other hand rose and gripped the back of Dean's neck... Dean made a muffled sound in his throat and Castiel stopped and pulled away. 

"Are you alright?" He asked, "Do you need me to stop?"

Dean frowned, his eyes still closed "I'm OK. I don't need you to stop... Unless you want to?" 

"Open your eyes Dean" 

Dean opened his eyes, Castiel looked at him, his lips... 

"Kiss me" He ordered 

Dean leaned towards Castiel, eyes still open, looking right at Castiel... Castiel's heart thumping.. the lion in his groin growling.. needing .. more. 

Dean kissed Castiel, unable to hold him as his hands were still tied.. but he put everything into his kiss, being told earlier to keep still he'd barely reacted, allowing Castiel to get used to this new sensation in his own time, but now... He'd been told to kiss him.. and he was working his tongue in Castiel's mouth, with everything he had... 

When they finally parted again, Castiel gave him a confused smiled, his head tilting to the side.. eyes searching Dean's face again... 

"Yes," He breathed out "Yes, I like that Dean" 


	19. What Do I Want?

Dean smiled back at Castiel "Does that mean it's OK for me to do it again, sometimes?" 

Castiel frowned slightly "No. No more surprise mouth attacks"

"I thought you liked it?" Asked Dean confused.

"I did, I do. But I will tell you, if and when I want to do that again. Turn around" Dean turned around and Castiel untied his arms from behind him. 

"Wait, what?" Asked Dean even more confused now "If?"

"Yes, Dean. If. I don't know that now is a good time for me to be .. experimenting" Castiel spoke slowly, thinking about it. It felt nice, maybe that wasn't such a bad thing "I need to think about it"

Dean thought about what Castiel had said, he had just been to Ellen's funeral, fuck he hadn't even asked how that had been yet, so deciding to accept that Castiel was emotionally vulnerable and that trying to kiss him again, would be taking advantage of that, he let it go. Castiel hadn't rejected him, not totally, and for now, that was good enough for Dean. 

"How was it today?" He asked quietly 

Castiel took a deep breath "Difficult. But I think tonight will be worse. I had to act a certain way today, behave in an expected manner.. and talk to a lot of police. Whilst I respect them for the job they do, when they do it right, I highly doubt the same respect would be shown to me if they found out what I do.." 

"Just to be clear... I'm not saying, what I am about to say because of what just happened... But as your friend and apprentice... If you want I can come and stay at your place tonight, on the couch. If you want to drink or whatever, I won't try and stop you, but at least you'll know I am there and I won't have to worry about you being safe.." Dean also had his own reason's for wanting company tonight, he hoped that Castiel said yes. 

Castiel nodded "I think I would be glad of the company. Dean, just so we are clear, I don't know what this" He motioned between them "Is. I liked it, but I don't know how to.. I don't want to hurt you"

"OK, I think I understand. Just let me just get a few things, I'll meet you down at your car?"  

Castiel nodded again and left. 

Dean waited a few moments, making sure Castiel wasn't coming back and then went to his bathroom.. back to the bloody knife in the sink soaking in bleach. The zip ties in the ziplock bag that needed burning... Those first. He opened the large window on the side of his living room, the window that couldn't be seen from the road, got a pan from the kitchen and put the ziplock bag of zip ties and bloody gloves in it. Then grabbed his small tub of lighter fluid and squirted it into the pan before lighting a match and dropping it in.. Leaving the pan contents to burn on the window ledge. 

Rushing back to the bathroom he pulled the plug on the sink and then with another pair of gloves going on his hand rinsed the knife under hot water, added more bleach to the sink to clean out anything left behind.. then examined the knife closely and finding no traces of blood, he wiped it dry on a hand full of toilet tissue and then flushed the tissue before placing the knife carefully back in its pouch and in the duffel bag.. 

He grabbed his other bag and threw a change of clothes in it and his toothbrush. And then stuffed the duffel bag into it and hid it under a t-shirt. Castiel would find out what he'd done soon enough, but hopefully, not tonight... Tonight Dean wanted to be there to keep an eye on him. After making sure the contents of the pan were completely destroyed, he put a lid on the pan, putting out the flames, after a few seconds, he took the pan lid off, put the pan under the tap and added some cold water to make sure it was completely out, then poured the contents of the pan down the toilet and flushed it again.. 

***

Castiel left Dean's apartment, thankful for the thinking time. As he got in the driver's seat of his car, he gripped the steering wheel tightly. What were these feelings, what was happening to him? He loved Ellen, he knew what love was, he was fond of Dean, he cared about him, Dean was a fast learner, where Castiel was skilled at being in control, being calm, Dean was skilled at following orders, but he was emotional. Castiel was usually not, he was the master of the poker face, under normal conditions.. would he have kissed Dean? Allowed Dean to kiss him? Probably not. Was being emotional then, changing his reactions to things.. Dean had said.. he was reacting to his pain.. the pain of losing Ellen, and for the funeral, Dean was right to have listened to Castiel when he was thinking clearly, Dean going would not have been a good idea. 

But how about tonight? Was it OK if Castiel reacts to his pain, at home... In the safety of his house, with Dean... Does he want to kiss Dean again? Yes. But then what? How far does that want, that need extend.. and what does it mean? What if he just wants to feel whole again now, while he is broken? And then when he eventually heals, what if then, he doesn't want Dean... And what if Dean does... Castiel needs to find out... Exactly what is going through Dean's head... 

Maybe Dean kissed him to comfort him, that's part of the reason he gave Castiel. Maybe that's just how Dean is... What if Dean was kissing other people, he said he wasn't involved with anyone, and Castiel believes he doesn't really have time to commit to a relationship and would have told him if he had met someone... But that doesn't mean that Dean hasn't been kissing.. or sleeping with people.

Castiel had a sudden image in his head of Dean kissing another man... He blinked... Breathing deeply as he realized, he would want to kill anyone who touched Dean... Dean was his, his apprentice, his friend.. his to.. kiss. When the fuck did this happen? He thought of how it had made him feel to hear Dean telling him what to do at the waterfall... Dean had been topless, was that why Castiel had given in? Was there a part of him, even then.. that.. liked Dean. Was it just for Ellen... or was a part of him jumping into that pool to appease Dean too... 

The boot opens and Castiel is pulled sharply back to reality. He see's Dean loading a bag into the boot.

"You alright?" Dean is leaning forward to look at him in the rearview mirror, pulling the fake base of the trunk up and sliding Castiel's duffel bag in there quickly, unnoticed by Castiel

"Are you kissing other people, Dean?" Asked Castiel meaning to say he was fine, and failing completely. 

Dean huffs, and closes the boot, walking around to the passenger side and opening the door, sitting down and closing the door again before turning to Castiel and saying "No. There is no one else worth kissing Cas" 

"OK" Is all Castiel manages to say, before pulling away from the curb as Dean buckled in. 

Dean sighed "No matter what you do, I won't stop trying to convince you, this is real. I care about you, you aren't alone, I will always be there for you, as long as you want me.. And I wont mouth attack you" Dean smiles "unless it's what you want"  


	20. With You

Castiel opened his front door, kicked his shoes off and walked inside, Dean following behind him and taking his shoes off too. 

"Would you like to drink Dean? I'm going to, it hardly seems fair to say you aren't allowed and then drink in front of you. It's not like I'm planning on going to work or doing a job any time soon... The situation is.. Well... I'm going to have a drink. I am lifting your ban on alcohol this evening" Castiel shrugged and walked over to the fridge, opening it and pulling out a large bottle of lemonade and placing it on the kitchen side. He opened a cupboard door, reaching up to get a glass out, then turned to Dean. 

"Whiskey lemonade?" 

"I'll have one, for Ellen," Said Dean stepping forward

Castiel nodded and took out a second glass, continuing to make the drinks. 

"Have you eaten today Cas?" Asked Dean

Castiel paused as he unscrewed the cap off the lemonade bottle thinking. "No" He blinked, realizing he hadn't had anything since the coffee Dean had made him that morning.

"You should probably eat something first" Said Dean looking at the fridge "I could make you something?" 

"No, thank you"

Dean wanted to say how Castiel was headed for a rough hangover, but then.. maybe that was the point. Maybe he wanted to feel it. Feel anything, aside from the loss of his aunt. So he remained silent as he watched Castiel finish making the drinks and hold one out to Dean... 

Dean took it and sipped it, he hadn't touched alcohol for months, it was strong "Thanks" 

"So.. what did you do today?" Asked Castiel as he took a sip from his own drink... 

Dean's breath hitches as he remembers the man, screaming before he got the tape over his mouth... The blood, the knife, the cleanup... He blinks... 

"Just killed Thyme" Said Dean not meeting Castiel's eyes "What do you want to do now Cas?"

Castiel took a large swig of his drink before answering "I have no idea. Maybe we should talk about what you want Dean. You said you kissed me because you wanted to.. Forgive me, if I seem to be being dense here, but I need you to elaborate on that"

Dean bit his lip "OK, I can do that. I think you're attractive, smart, determined, funny without meaning to be, you feel things more deeply than you let on, your mission is to keep evil monsters off the streets, you're kind of my hero... And I like you. Like, a lot. I know you've been through things in the past that have made relationships difficult for you, or even, that you have no interest in them at all... But I can't imagine you not being in my life now. And... To be clear, that can be in whatever form you like. I don't want to kiss other people, why would I want that? No one even comes close to you, you're special. Even if you don't see it, I do. And Ellen did too" 

Castiel downed his drink and started making another straight away "Ellen knew my 'work' was important, as do you, as do I. It's about keeping people safe, not being a hero"

"Doesn't make you any less of one, to me.. or to those children who don't have to worry about their monsters coming back" Said Dean watching Castiel pour himself another drink "Cas... I need to tell you something.."

Castiel looked up at Dean, waiting. 

"Ellen said.. you may not ever want any kind of relationship, with anyone. That as close as we are now maybe all you are able to give" 

Castiel blinked "It may be. I don't know" 

"Have you ever thought about being with anyone before?"

"No" 

"Oh" Dean sounded slightly defeated 

Castiel saw it, like a tiny light going out behind Dean's eyes, he hated it, so he added "No, no one else was ever worth considering these things for"

Dean looked up, there was that slight spark again. Hope. He smiled at Castiel. 

"Dean," Said Castiel watching him 

"Yes?" 

"Kiss me" 

Dean raised his eyebrows "Are you sure? I thought you wanted time to think" 

"I did think about it, a little. But I realized, more than wanting time to think... I wanted to not think. About anything" 

Dean stepped forward putting his glass down on the kitchen side as he walked forwards to Castiel, licking his tongue over his lips slightly. 

"Hands by your sides" Castiel ordered as Dean's hand's had started to rise, they dropped to his side and he nodded. This was still all new to Castiel, he knew that he would respect whatever Castiel wanted him to do, or not do. Basically, he would do whatever the hell Castiel told him to, and right now he was telling him to kiss him. 

Dean wasn't sure how much of a kiss Castiel meant, so he just leaned forward and pressed his lips to Castiel's. It was weird, both of their eyes still being open, Castiel watching Dean's movements... Dean pulled back. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Nothing, I just wanted to see it," Said Castiel "I didn't say stop"

Dean grinned and closed his eyes and leaned in again.. Castiel watched Dean's face get closer to his own, his eye's slid shut as Dean's lips met his and this time, their mouth's parted and their tongues met. Castiel was once again feeling that stirring sensation in his groin. His cock was reacting to Dean's mouth on his, Dean's tongue on his... 

Castiel pulled away again and he and Dean opened their eyes. He scratched his head. Grabbing his drink and walking past Dean into the living room area, and sitting on the couch. Dean following him. 

"Stop," He said before Dean could sit down, Dean paused.. in a weird mid bent over position as he'd been about to sit down "I feel... possessive of you. I know when you first came here, you agreed to do whatever I said.. but that didn't.. This wasn't included in that agreement. I want to try things with you that, I have never done.. willingly with anyone" Dean grimaced at the word willingly but didn't say anything "So I want to ask you again, to include.. this. Can you follow instructions? Are you willing to do everything I say?"

Dean paused, thinking, Castiel could ask him anything.. but then.. what wouldn't he do for him. He couldn't think of anything "I will do whatever you say" 

"Thank you, Dean," Castiel said smiling, Dean's heart swelling at being able to make Castiel smile, today. Castiel rubbed the bridge of his nose, thinking... "You can sit now"

Dean sat "You said you wanted to stop thinking? But you still are.." 

"Yes. Shutting my brain off has never come easily to me. Finding ways to relax..." 

"I know how you could feel relaxed..." Dean bit his lip, wondering if he was about to cross a line, but he saw Castiel watching him and boldly continued "Sorry, if this is a bit much, but .. do you ever masturbate, because I noticed you always seemed.. tightly wound.. and I did some googling of my own, a sexual release, helps relieve stress and releases endorphins, which give you a feeling of being well" Dean had rambled off his memorised little speech without meeting Castiel's eyes, but now he was finished and had to look up, Castiel was looking at him. His expression unreadable. 

"I don't do that," He said simply, a slight twinkling in his eyes as Dean mentioned googling... Using one of Castiel's favorite tools to win him over... 

"Ever?" Asked Dean in shock

"Ever," Said Castiel sitting up "I take it you do" 

"Yeah.. like.. all the time" Blushed Dean

Castiel looked at Dean "You said you find me attractive?"

"Yes," Said Dean instantly, easy question... next.

"Have you done that.. about me?" 

Shit... How to answer that. Dean's cheeks were going a deeper shade of red as he blinked at Castiel trying to decide how to answer. 

Castiel seemed to take Dean's silence as a confession "Take off your shirt" 

Dean stared, stood up and removed his shirt. Putting it on the couch behind him. 

"And your pant's" 

Dean's cock was twitching, whatever this was about, it was getting him a little hot. He undid his pant's and pulled them down. Standing in front of Castiel now, in socks and boxer shorts. 

Castiel stood up and walked away from Dean, turning the living room light on. He turned back to the fridge and made two more drinks, looking up at Dean, and feasting his eyes over Dean's skin... 

"You are attractive Dean," He said finally, Dean feeling himself relax slightly under the scrutiny "Show me" 

"Show you, what?" 

Castiel looked at Dean, the kind of stare that could shut up a screaming child "Show me, how you do"

Dean's brows disappeared in surprise "You want me to.." He questioned

"You said you find me attractive, you said you do it all the time... You said you weren't going to stop trying to convince me that this was real. You also said you would do whatever I asked. I am not trying to humiliate you. I want to see, what you do. Do you trust me?"

"Yes... I trust you" Said Dean "I just feel.. a bit out here on my own" 

Castiel's eyes narrowed, downed the last of one of the drinks, he'd made and put the glass on the table. Walking over to Dean. He pressed his mouth against Deans and kissed him. 

Castiel whispered in Dean's ear "Would it help if I said please?" He looked down, down Dean's body, to his tenting boxers "Would it help if I removed my shirt? My pants?" 

Dean swallowed "Yes" 

Castiel took a few steps back, removed his top and folded it neatly, then removed his pants and folded them... So he was stood in front of Dean, in just his boxers... "Please"

Dean's mouth was dry as he looked over Castiel, he'd seen his body before when they had been swimming under the waterfall... But the water had hidden most of him then, and Dean hadn't wanted to get caught staring... He didn't know how to start, his cock was right there.. hard in his boxers, but there was Castiel, right in front of him.. watching him. It felt like a gap of a million miles to get his hands to his boxers... 

"Dean. Pull your boxers down and take your cock in your hand. Now" 

Holy shit. That did it, Dean flinched, the please.. that had been a mistake. He needed the order... And he obeyed it instantly... 


	21. With Me

Boxer's falling down around his ankles, Dean's hand wrapped around his cock... He was fully hard now, looking up at Castiel. 

Castiel looked at Dean's dick in his hand. Watching, as his own boxers began tenting slightly. He looked down his own front, in what looked like surprise. He looked back up to Dean, seeing Dean looking at his tenting boxers too... Castiel blinked and frowned slightly. 

He blinked at Dean "Dean" It was that tone.. you know like a teacher would use when you'd been asked to do something, and you got caught messing about. Dean's eye's shot back up to Castiel's. 

Castiel sat back down on his couch.. watching Dean, as he put on a show for him. Castiel's hand resting on his own thigh... Dean was starting to look uncomfortable again, just being watched. Castiel didn't know what to do, it wasn't liked he'd planned to do this... Emotions, feelings, desire.. had just taken hold of him and he'd just let it. Why must everything be planned anyway, with a kill... yes... But not with Dean. 

"Come and sit next to me Dean. You're not on show, we are here together" Dean walked to the couch and sat bare-assed next to Castiel.

Castiel turned to face him, his hand going to Dean's chin to turn Dean's face towards his own... Castiel kissed Dean, trying to help him relax. 

"Can I touch you?" Dean asked so tentatively as Castiel pulled away from the kiss. It was the first time Dean saw what looked like panic cross Castiel's face, and he realized, as out of his comfort zone as he was... Castiel was right, out there with him, as far as he could be without a little push anyway... 

"I.. I don't.." 

"If you don't want me to, I won't. I just wanted to ask... You know I am Dean, not... him. I will never force you. If you wanted to try it and didn't like it, I'd stop. You have the control, Cas. Not me, and absolutely not him" 

Castiel sighed, how long had his father's actions ruled over his life? How long had he been a slave to the fear of intimacy? Dean was not his father, he was Dean. And Dean did what he was told. Castiel trusted Dean. He licked his lips. 

"If I say stop.." 

"I will stop.. straight away" Promised Dean, heart beating wildly at the thought of what could be about to happen.

Castiel looked at Dean's face, full of longing. He knew he was drunk... He could feel the alcohol softening his defense's, or was that Dean... Either way... 

He looked Dean in the eyes "You may touch me"

Dean smiled, rather than diving straight into Castiel's boxer's head first... like he wanted to. He decided to build up to it. Touch was obviously an issue for Castiel, so Dean wanted to make sure he was comfortable with him touching him in seemingly normal place's before he went for his cock... He let go of his own hard dick, in favor of turning to face Castiel on the couch. Reaching his hands up to Castiel's face first, one hand on each cheek, softly resting them there, no pressure or grip.. just there.. allowing Castiel to relax into the touch, then Dean leaned forwards and just before their lips touched, he spoke quietly. 

"Thank you for trusting me, like this" And then he kissed Cas... Again softly. His hands slid down Castiel's neck to his shoulders and stayed there, again, letting Castiel get used to having Dean's hands on him, he parted his lips, and their tongues slid together. It was around this point that Dean's heart was hammering loudly in his chest. He'd never thought he would get this with Castiel, he hoped... But he hadn't really believed... But here he was.. this was happening, it was such a bond of trust from Castiel to let Dean touch him like this.. and it turned Dean on even more, that Castiel was giving himself to Dean bit by bit... 

Dean continued to kiss Cas as his hands slowly traveled down his body... Making sure that Castiel was comfortable with each location, before exploring further... It was breathtaking.. and Dean wanted it. Wanted to explore every inch of Cas, that Cas would let him get to... But not yet, this was more than he expected, and he wanted to make Castiel feel good. 

When his hand finally reached the waistband of Castiel's boxers, he pulled his mouth back and looked at Castiel "If you say stop, I'll stop. Are you sure you're alright with this?"

"Yes" Castiel's cock was raging hard by now, pressed against his boxers, he was now surer about this than he had ever been about anything in his entire life... 

Dean slid his hand slowly under the waistband, and both he and Castiel's breath caught as he wrapped it around Castiel's cock. Deciding to keep it under the boxers, he didn't want to push Castiel to far, and he didn't want to stop now, not until Castiel had come. Although he would, of course, if Castiel asked him to... 

He began stroking Cas with one hand, Castiel tilting to the side a bit so that Dean was more comfortable... Dean's other hand traveling back to his own cock, still hard, still waiting. And he stroked himself and Castiel in time, starting slowly... Letting Castiel get used to this new feeling. 

Castiel had been watching Dean's hand moving under his boxers, watching Dean's hand moving over himself.. his breathing quickening, his groin lion roaring, urging Dean on... Castiel's head fell back against the back of the couch.. his eye's closed... Dean knew what he was doing, Dean was taking care of him, Dean was making him feel good, making him forget... 

"Faster Dean" He heard himself say... 

Dean speed up.. panting a bit himself, arms starting to ache a little, but with no desire to stop. 

Dean came hard, shuddering and gasping. His hand slowed on Castiel and Castiel looked to see why... eyes widening at the sight of Dean spilling come over his own hand... 

"Fuckkk" Dean hissed through his teeth. Before realizing Castiel had come too. A wet patch on the front of his boxers and his breathy moan giving him away. Castiel had come, watching Dean come. Dean slowly retracted his hand from inside Castiel's boxers and looked at him... 

After getting his breath back, Castiel opened his eyes again, to find Dean watching him "Yes Dean. I liked that too" 

And Dean smiled, pleased with himself.


	22. She, The Beauty or The Beast?

She walks around the dark street, boobs pushed up, her low hanging top very revealing, long red hair flowing down around her shoulders. The city was dark, street lights lighting random circles of the path before her. She walked on, passing the bar window, one glance and she saw who she was looking for. Julian Ted Hawkins. There he was, drinking and eating a meal alone, perfect. Julian Ted Hawkins, internet predator, enjoying his last meal. 

She checked her purse, pulling out her small mirror, checking her face, smiling at herself. Feeling confident she walked into the bar and past Julian. Straight for the ladies toilets, making sure to pass closely by Julian Ted Hawkins table, not meeting his eyes but feeling his on her as she passed him.  

She goes into the toilets, shuts her self in a stall and pulls the gun from her boot. Rolling her head on her shoulders to relax, attaches the silencer, loads three bullets into the gun, puts the safety on and puts the gun into her purse. Flushes and walks out of the stall grabs a hand full of paper towels and stuffs them in her purse, over the gun, in front of the mirror she pulls her eye drops from her purse, a couple of drops in each eye, and walks out, holding her phone to her ear. The eye drops trickling down her face as she passes Julian's table... 

She sniffs "I can't believe you are doing this, how long have you been screwing her? You are such an arsehole!" She pretends to hang up and storms over to the bar... "A shot of whiskey," She says loudly, she pays, takes the shot into her mouth and walks out of the bar, quickly grabbing the paper towels from her purse, spits the shot into the paper towels and bins the rubbish in a trash can. Just as Julian Ted Hawkins comes out of the doors of the bar. 

"Hey" She pretends not to hear him, beginning to walk down the street, he hurry's to catch up "Hey, excuse me?"

She sniffs, turning around, her eyes still shining. 

"I'm sorry, I saw you seemed upset, are you alright?" His voice was full of false concern.

"About as alright as I can be, I just found out my boyfriend is screwing my best friend" She looked about her "Shit, I just remembered he was meant to picking me up, I don't even have enough on me to get a cab" She turned away from him, pretending to think. 

"You stuck? Where about's do you live, maybe you can share a taxi with me?" He asked, eyeing her, her top, her tight jeans, the knee-high boots.

"Get into a taxi with a stranger?" Her eyes glitter at him "My mother taught me better.." She turns away... 

"So you're going to walk around, alone?" He asks "Dangerous at night, in the city..."

"I'm sure I can handle it," She says, knowing this kind of guys like a challenge, she has to be careful, reject him too much and he may leave... reject him with uncertainty and he'll be all over her... 

"I can walk you back.. if you would like?" He says pushing it... Just like she'd hoped he would. 

She pretends to think "OK" She shrugs. 

He smiles, falling in step beside her "Pretty girl like you, shouldn't be out alone anyway" She rolls her eyes when he isn't looking... 

Then she turns to him and smiles "You're right I shouldn't be alone, it could be dangerous... I wasn't planning on getting caught out here though"

They walked for a while, she led him through side streets and darken alleys... He stopped down one dark alley and grabbed her wrist to stop her, this was it... The moment she'd been waiting for. She pulled her wrist free and turned to him, keeping her expression passive. 

"Hey... How about we have some fun... That would really show your ex" He winked at her

She smiled at him, as though she was considering it "What did you have in mind?" 

"I could think of lots of things I'd like to do to you," He says with a gross sneer

"I bet you could.." She takes a step back, reaching into her purse "But.. aren't I a little old for you?"

He frowns... "What do you mean?" He says taking a step towards her. 

She reacts quickly, pulling the gun from her purse, silencer in place, loaded, she clicks the safety off. Ready.

"What are you doing? Little girl, put that away. We both know you're not going to shoot me" As he spoke, her lip curled up into a slight smirk.

"Something you should know about me... I don't respond well to pet names.."

"What do you want? Money? I have money" He said still believing he had some control of the situation, believing this woman was just after his cash "How do you sleep at night?" He asked shaking his head as he took out his wallet.

"On silk sheets, rolling naked in money" She rolls her eyes "No need to ask you how you sleep.. I already know, you sleep dreaming of young girls sucking your cock. You're happiest when your grooming little girl's on the internet, right? Go ahead" She raised her gun "Tell me I'm wrong" 

His eye's flickered with panic "Who the fuck are you?" 

"I was one of those little girls, who grew up, and bought a gun..." She spoke calmly "Put your cash on the ground and back up" 

He blinked, putting what looked like a few hundred bucks on the floor, then raised his hands and backed up, gun still trained on him as she knelt to pick up the bills.

"Can I go now?" He asked carefully, whoever the fuck this chick was, she was crazy. His heart was pounding, watching her pointing the gun at him.

"Yes. You can go... Straight to hell" She squeezes the trigger, one clean headshot, with the silencer it isn't too loud. Julian falls backward, blood spraying out behind him.. Walking over to his body she squeezes the trigger twice more... Once over his heart and once .. over his crotch "Dick"  

She pulls out a small knife from her purse... Carving a tick on his cheek.. and next to it.. a question mark. Before straightening up and walking away.

***

The next morning Castiel wakes up in his bed, head pounding, a fuzzy coating on his teeth, ew. He hobbles to his bathroom, brushes his teeth and relieves himself, washing his hands before finding a t-shirt to put on... 

He slowly and carefully navigates his way downstairs, but freezes halfway down, his eyes falling on Dean's bare ass... A blanket hanging uselessly from his foot and pooling on the floor, beside the couch. Flashbacks to last night hit and he blushes... He let Dean touch him, he kissed him.. that all happened.. and he'd enjoyed it. Dean had been careful not to push him too far and it had all been in his control. He reaches the bottom of the staircase and treads carefully over to Dean, picking up the blanket by his fingertips and flick throwing it over Dean, to cover his bum. 

He backs away and goes to the kitchen, opening his fridge, he hadn't eaten yesterday, but looking at the food in the fridge right now made him feel sick... He lean's backward to look past the fridge door and back into the living area... Dean is still sleeping there, it had happened.. it was real. Dean was naked, asleep in his living room. Castiel shakes his head, turning back to the fridge and pulls out a carton of apple juice, getting a glass from the cupboard he pours himself a glass and downs it, thirstily. Then looks back over to Dean's sleeping form... He tilts his head slightly, thinking... Putting the glass down carefully he tiptoes back over to Dean, and carefully moves the blanket again.. Positioning it so that it once again is exposing Dean's rump, he smirks, then quickly backs away again to the kitchen... Passing the front door he picks up the newspaper that was on the matt. 

He settles himself in the kitchen on the bar stool and his gaze drifts back to the naked man on his couch... Ass out again in all its glory. After staring at Dean for a while, his eyes eventually fall on the newspaper... 

***

Dean wakes to a rolled up paper hitting him hard over the head... 

"Hey!?" He cry's out

"Looks like I was busy yesterday.." Fumes Castiel throwing the paper at Dean as he sits up rubbing his eyes... "Two murders and a funeral.. sounds like the title to a bad movie"

Dean blinks, taking the paper in one hand and grabbing the blanket with his other to cover himself... He reads the page Castiel had open for him... 

LIST KILLER strikes twice in one day... 

Gulping Dean looks up into the furious face of Castiel... 


	23. From Beyond The Grave

_"Dean," Said Ellen surprising him out of his train of thought._

_"Yeah?"_

_"There is something else I wanted to talk to you about... Something I need you to do for me... It's important" Said Ellen_

_"Okay.."_

"I want you to do something for me... I've been looking after Castiel since he was a teenager, it scares me most that I'll be leaving him here, I won't be able to protect him. I have an idea how to keep him safe, but this is a big ask... so I understand if you don't want to do it.."

"I'll do anything to keep him safe," Says Dean steadily

"Would you kill someone, to keep Castiel safe?" Ellen asked "If you were to kill someone, on the day of my funeral... Castiel will be there, seen by police, a solid alibi... He would never be a suspect as The List Killer..."

"Castiel will be pissed," Says Dean weighing it up in his mind...

"He will be pissed.. but he'll be safe, do you think you could do it? You've killed on your own before... You are far smarter now Dean, you just do everything Castiel has taught you and you'll be fine. I have a target for you. Martin Thyme, he is a sick man Dean, he has it coming"

"I'll do it," Said Dean "I promise" Ellen rested back against her pillow... 

***

"WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING" Castiel was pacing as he continued shouting, Dean had tried to answer several times, but Castiel hadn't heard him through his rants about Dean; not following his rules, being impatient and taking stupid risks... 

Dean finally had, had enough. He stood up, the blanket that had been covering him falling to the floor.. Castiel, getting an eye full of Dean's cock shut up immediately. 

"Are you done?" Asked Dean boldly, in nothing but a pair of socks. 

"Not even close" Snapped Castiel trying to keep his eyes on Dean's face, but they kept flickering downwards... "Put some clothes on... I can't talk to you like this" 

Dean hid his smirk as he hunted for his boxers "Listen, I was going to tell you about this today... Well.. part of it... I don't know who killed the second guy, but yes. Martin Thyme, that was me. And I will tell you exactly what I was thinking" He managed to locate his boxers and pulled them up over his bum and continued "I was thinking, I will keep this promise to Ellen. She asked me to do it Cas, it's why I couldn't go with you yesterday. She asked me to kill this guy, helped me plan how and where.. and all that... She wanted to keep you safe. Her last way of doing that was to use her own funeral to give you a solid alibi... You were amongst, what? A few dozen officers... When I killed this guy.."

Castiel looked at Dean, shocked "This was Ellen's idea?"

"She asked me to take away any possible suspicion from you, I don't think there was any. But we don't have someone on the inside of the police to help us anymore, she wanted to do one last thing to keep you out of the spotlight... and this was it. I did it for you, for Ellen... And I was careful Cas"  

Castiel slumped into the sofa, his head was still hurting, he was still angry.. but if Ellen asked Dean to do it... What could he say? Still, even now, from beyond the grave.. she was looking out for him. 

Voice much calmer now, Castiel asked "What about this Julian Ted Hawkins guy? It says here, he was shot... I've never used a gun. Far too messy.. and quick. But whoever did this, drew a tick.. like I do. And this Julian guy.. he was on Ellen's list"

"Ellen's list?" Asked Dean puzzled 

"It's like you said, we don't have an in with the police anymore. Ellen knew we wouldn't have her to get targets.. so she got me some names, a list for the list killer.. of targets" 

 There was a knock at the front door, it startled both of them. Castiel glanced over at Dean, what if Dean wasn't as careful as he thought... What if the police were here... He swallowed, walked slowly to the front door and sighed as his hand reached the handle. He opened the door. 

Blinking in the morning sunlight, his eyes adjusted and he saw a slender woman standing there, she was tanned, had long brown hair, a long brown coat wrapped around her. 

"Castiel Novak?" She asked looking at him, standing there in a t-shirt and boxers. 

"Yes?" He said uncertainly, she smiled and walked past him, right into his home.

She walked into the living room, and stopped when she saw Dean, she eyed him, eyebrows raising at his state of undress. Dean staring at her in shock. 

"And you are?" She asked.. as though she hadn't just waltzed into Castiel's house. Dean blinked, looking from her to Castiel. Castiel's face was an absolute picture... He stood open-mouthed, staring at her... Then he noticed her eyes traveling down Dean's body.. and her smiling at him.. Castiel had the sudden mad urge to kill her.. right there, in his living room. Invading his space, looking at his... Dean. 

"Excuse me.." He finally found his voice "Who the fuck are you?" 

The woman spotted the newspaper open on the couch, she picked it up. Turning around to face Castiel "My name is Bela Talbot, I knew your aunt, Ellen" She pointed to the article in the paper "I'm truly sorry for your loss... Your aunt saved my life"

Dean and Castiel blinked at her... 


	24. Who's The Boss

Castiel closed his front door, wondering what the fuck was happening.. "You knew my aunt?"

"I did" Smiled Bela "She gave me a message for you"

"Which was?"

"Don't it screw up..."

"I'm sorry?" Castiel didn't understand. His head was still thumping painfully from the whiskey last night.

"She wanted me to offer you.."

"Offer him what?" Asked Dean suddenly, stepping towards Castiel, defensively. He did not help Castiel take the first steps out of his shell, just for some Lara Croft wannabe to come in and steal him away.

"Oh.. You're Dean. I remember now" Smiled Bela looking between Cas and Dean with an interested raised eyebrow "To offer my assistance, with.. your work" She tapped the paper again.

"No," Said Castiel waving his hands in front of himself "I've never heard of you. I've never... You used a gun, what kinda of sloppy, mess making.."

Bela laughed "I used a gun. Yes. Knife's are, of course, preferable, and if I had back up.. sure. But I take care of men, usually much bigger than I am.. alone. So I like to have a gun. It's also easier to make it look like a random shooting, rather than setting up a kill room... Why do you think you've never heard of a List Shooter or some silly name like that. I take care of the same kind of people as you do, I just don't leave a trail. I also happen to be a nurse" She smiled "If you don't want to work with me, that's fine. But, should you ever require.. medical assistance that you wouldn't be able to explain at a hospital... Your aunt felt it was worth me introducing myself. She asked me to take care of Hawkins. She asked me to use the tick and question mark. She wanted to use that kill, to confuse the police. Killing in a different style. It could be you, changing things up.. or it could be a copy cat.. she wanted to .. how did she explain it.. leave a different set of breadcrumbs for them to follow.."

Dean scratched the back of his neck "Was there anything that woman didn't think of?"

Castiel looked at Dean, still stood there in just his boxers "Get dressed Dean"

Dean's eyes dropped and he started looking around for his pants. Bela smiled at Castiel.

"So? What do you want to do Castiel?" She asked as Dean pulled on his pants.

"I.. I don't know you. But if you knew Ellen, and she trusted you..." Castiel eyed Bela "I'll think about it"

"Ellen saved me when I was fourteen years old. My father, well I hear he had a lot in common with yours" She said pointedly to Castiel "Ellen got me away from him, she taught me how to... fight back. I owe her and she wanted me to help you"

"I can't deal with all of this right now.." Castiel said feeling very out of control.

"I'll leave you my number.." Said Bela handing Castiel a tiny card with her number written on it "Take all the time you need, think it over.. and call me"

Dean's face twitched at Bela's last words to Castiel and he mimicked her as she turned away, mouthing 'call me' with a ridiculous look on his face. Thinking.. 'Yeah right lady'.

As Bela opened the front door, she paused and turned back "I believe Ellen left you a list of names?"

Castiel narrowed his eyes at her, hating that she knew about him, but he had no clue about her.

"Well.. You may want to take a good look at the last two names on that list. One I want your help with, one you will need my help with.. Keep that in mind" She looked past Castiel to Dean, and then back again.. "Well.. Goodbye boys, hope to hear from you soon"

Castiel closed the door and walked quickly past Dean.. To where there was a framed photo of Ellen that Castiel had hung, he took the picture down from the wall and opened the back carefully, pulling out Ellen's list.. Scanning down the page quickly and eyes widening at the last two names.

"What is it?" Asked Dean watching Castiel's face.

"The second to last name is.. Robert Talbot"

"Her father?" Asked Dean shocked

Castiel nodded "Must be"

"And the last name..?"

"Paul Richards," Said Castiel frowning.

"Wait.. Paul Richards? Isn't he.."

"Yes," Said Castiel "Paul Richards, leading candidant for.. Mayor of New York"

"Shit.. I was going to vote for him too"

Castiel turned to Dean "Are you hungover?"

"What no!? I only had one drink" Said Dean surprised

"Good, then you can drive yourself home"

Dean whined, "Why do I have to go home?" Castiel just looked at Dean and Dean's face changed instantly "Hey.. you know what.. I'm going to go home for a few hours.. " He smiled and went to find his shoes.

Castiel nodded. Putting Bela's number in the back of the photo frame with the list and sealing the back of the frame again, he hung it back on its hook on the wall.

There was just to much to process and he was in no state to start now anyway, Castiel turned to see Dean at the door pulling his shoes on. He walked over to him.

"Are you still angry with me?" Asked Dean as he looked up at Castiel

"Yes. But I understand why you did it now.. But you must tell me right now. Ellen didn't give you any other special little jobs did she?"

"No" Dean shook his head "I swear"

"Good" Sighed Castiel "Come back this evening. I want to talk to you about everything properly, but I also just need time to think"

"OK" Said Dean turning to the door to leave.

"Dean?"

"Yes?" He turned back to Castiel

"Kiss me"

Dean smiled. Castiel hadn't given any signs that he regretted last night, but until now he hadn't given any signs that he wanted it to be more that a one night thing either.. Dean leaned forwards and kissed Castiel's lips gently.

"Thank you" Castiel smiled at him "Now get out," He said pushing Dean out the door and closing it behind him.  
  
Dean stared at the closed door, he wanted to go back in, he wanted to keep kissing Castiel. But he knew better. He sighed and walked over to his car, rolling his eyes as he saw a car parked on the street and Bela sat in the drivers seat. He changed directions and headed towards her.

"What are you still doing here?" He asked

"I was just on the phone. But I'm glad we get a moment to speak without your boss"

"He's not my boss" Said Dean annoyed, before realising that, yes Castiel is his boss, both in his real job and his crime career.

"Really? So you don't do everything he says?"

"What do you want Bela?" 

"To help, to be helped. It's that simple. I assume you saw my fathers name on that list? I want him dead. But I don't just want to shoot him. I want to make him to suffer, like I did. I want you and Castiel to help me put him in a position where I can do that. I probably have a very different hunting style to you and Castiel, sex is my weapon, I let them believe they're in for a great time.. that's how I get them to follow me.. I can't exactly do that with my father, he might recognise me, not to mention it would knock me sick.. But I could do that for Paul Richards"

"Why didn't Ellen tell Castiel about you before?" Asked Dean

"She was going to, when she found out she was sick. But then she met you. She said that I would meet Castiel afterwards, when he was more apt at handling change. I've been doing this, my way for a few years, I didn't need him telling me what to do, I don't really like men... telling me what to do. I guess Ellen saw that I was to head strong to be the first, to work with Castiel. She found you and said you were perfect, you wanted to learn, you wanted Castiel to teach you, you wouldn't be his partner.. you'd be his pupil, you allowed him to remain in control of something when what was happening to Ellen was out of his power.. Ellen spoke very highly of you Dean. She said I could trust you. You can trust me"

"I guess we'll see" Said Dean, before adding "But you were right.. Castiel is the boss"


	25. Finding One's Self

Two hours sleep, two pints of water and power bar later, Castiel was feeling almost human again. He was stood under the spray of his shower thinking, so much had happened, how would he even begin to process it all.. Where to start? 

'What's most important to me... ' He thought.. 'easy Dean. Ok, so Dean's killed someone, for Ellen or me or whatever, but he killed someone.. alone. And I have to trust that he did it well, I need to know everything, when he comes back I have to go over everything with him on that one.. ' 

He grabbed a bottle of shower gel and squeezed the tube into his hand and began washing himself.. as he reached his groin he realized he was hard... thinking about Dean... He opened his eyes, surprised. Quickly shutting them again as the water hit his face, he stepped back out of the spray and looked down... There it was... His undeniable attraction to Dean, looking at him, silently begging. The first thought that crossed his mind was to call Dean... But then... What had Dean said about how he.. touched himself... All the time. A wicked smirk crossed Castiel's face, ok he wanted Dean. That was a given, but maybe he should give himself a proper introduction to .. himself before doing anything else with Dean. 

He wrapped a hand around himself, hand still covered with shower gel, wet, slippy.. 'Holy shit' he thought as he pictured Dean sat next to him, naked and holding him like he was now. His head filled with images of Dean undressing in front of him, Dean's hands sliding down his body, the nerves he'd felt yesterday that had amplified every touch... How nice it had been to feel Dean's tongue sliding along his own... He stroked himself, gripping slightly harder and speeding up his strokes, until his breath staggered and he jittered forwards as he came, all on his own, for the first time. He breathed, steadying himself. 

After he washed again, he climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around himself, somehow.. he still felt aroused. He guessed his body was trying to make up for lost time. He grabbed his phone, pressed call and held the phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Dean?" 

"Hey, yeah. Everything OK?" 

"I need you to come over, now" 

"Er. OK" Dean sounded worried

"It's nothing to worry about Dean... I just need.." He paused "want, your help with something" 

"I'll be there in like fifteen minutes" Dean hung up. Castiel picked his laptop up off the table, planning on doing a little of what he does best, research. He opened up the google search engine and began his search. Eye's widening in shock as a new page opened and his laptop was suddenly filled with images of men getting and giving blow jobs. Picturing Dean's mouth around him.. fuck he was getting hard again. He slammed the laptop closed, blushing. Sat staring at it for almost a full minute before opening it back up and clicking on one of the videos... 

He glanced around him as though expecting someone to suddenly be there, telling him off. Like a kid watching porn for the first time. He lowered the sound, as the man on the screen was anything but quiet. Castiel watched, entranced. Looking down at his crotch again, now fully hard. It wasn't the guy on the screen that was doing that, it was Castiel imaging Dean doing those things to him... 

Two videos later and Castiel heard a knock at his front door... He almost fell out of his chair, deleted his search history, not that Dean ever went on his laptop, but still.. and shut it down properly. Before taking a deep breath and heading downstairs, still in just a towel. 

Castiel opened the door and Dean stood, frozen, just staring at him. 

"Er... Cas?" He asked as if checking he'd come to the right house. 

Castiel smiled as Dean passed him into the living room and then shut his front door before turning to Dean "I've had some time to think... The chances are, one day, I will be caught. I want you to help me... make the most of my freedom.. and pleasure..." He opened the towel and let it drop to the ground. Dean biting his lip at the sight of Castiel completely naked, not to mention fully hard.. in front of him. 

Dean swallowed "I created a monster" He smirked. 

"And here I was thinking that was my job.." Castiel turned and walked back up the stairs, Dean watching his ass the whole way up the stairs. Until Castiel stopped at the top and turned back around to look at Dean. 

"Dean, get up here now" 

Dean nodded and quickly followed. Castiel was feeling empowered, his arousal, and his final acceptance of it making him feel invincible. He knew what he wanted, and he was going for it. Dean had popped the lid right off his proverbial can of Pringle's, opened him up to all these new feelings and experiences, and Castiel wanted... more, and he wanted it all, with Dean.

As Dean reached Castiel's bedroom, Castiel turned to face him. 

"Dean. What happened between us last night was..." Castiel paused, thinking. "I really enjoyed last night. Which after the funeral was unexpected. But you not only helped me by keeping me company, but you helped... open up in a way I have never been able to before... I want to try more... But if I ask you to stop.."

"Cas, if you tell me to stop, of course, I will stop, are you sure you want this?"

"I'm not asking for sex. But there are other things I would like to try, with you" 

"Whatever you want Cas, you just have to tell me"

"I want you to take off your clothes," Said Castiel eyes darkening as he looks at Dean.

Dean smiles, unzipping his jacket and putting it on the chair, then pulling his top off and putting that on the chair too, he looks down at his feet "Shit... I didn't take my shoes off" He looks up at Castiel, expecting to be told off... But Castiel is just smiling patiently at him

"Take them off now. I think I can let you off this time, it was my fault for distracting you"

Dean sighed, he took his shoes off, socks off, undid his belt, meeting Cas' eyes as he pulled his pants down and off his feet. 

"That will do" Said Castiel "Makes things even for yesterday" 

Dean huffed a little, his own erection wanted to be free.. wanted touching, did him having to leave his boxers on mean that he wasn't allowed to touch himself. Castiel seemed to read his mind. 

"Do not touch yourself, Dean. Get on your knees" Castiel threw a cushion on to the floor. Dean's brow furrowed for a split-second before he obeys, dropping on his knee's on to the soft pillow in front of Castiel. 

He looked Dean in the eyes "You may touch me"

Dean raised a hand towards Castiel's cock, but Castiel stopped him. 

"No, No.. With your mouth Dean," He said steadily meeting Dean's eyes and although his voice was giving an order, his eyes were asking. 

Dean licked his lips to wet them, he'd dreamed about this. Castiel had allowed Dean to touch him yesterday for the first time, he hadn't expected him to want it again any time soon.. and he certainly hadn't expected this request... But he was more than willing to obey and give Castiel what he wanted... 

Castiel's eyes slid closed and he sighed loudly as Dean sunk his mouth over his firm dick. Castiel realized very quickly, he may have no experience of receiving blow jobs but he knew his cock was in the mouth of an artist, Dean's tongue was rolling over him.. Soft, warm, wet. Those full, pouty lips focusing on his crown, pulling up and down his shaft, making his breathing rough instantly. He was completely helpless, feeling wonderfully euphoric and vulnerable to Dean. The contact and motion of Dean's tongue on him being very gentle and undemanding, making him shudder. 

Dean sucked and licked and tickle every part of Castiel's cock. Licking the tip, rolling his tongue over the slit, which made Castiel gasp quietly. Dean wanted to involve his hands, but Castiel had said mouth, he wasn't sure he was allowed, wanting to keep Castiel enjoying the sense of control Dean's hands remained by his sides, though resisting the urge to reach for Castiel or himself, was not easy.

The intense sensations, the feel of a warm, wet mouth sliding up and down his cock, just felt so good. Was this the best experience he'd ever had? He couldn't think of anything, in his whole life, that compared. Opening his eyes and looking down at Dean..  teasing him with pleasure. He was in heaven. He felt a building, a fire within, he was close. He'd seen in the video's that some men come in their partner's throats... He wondered if Dean would be alright with him doing that. 

"Dean.." He panted, Dean's eyes lifting to meet his "I'm going to come. I'd like you to swallow, but if your not.." 

Dean just nodded gently. 

"Fucking perfect" Castiel's eyes closed again, his little moans growing until he spilled his seed into Dean's mouth, Dean swallowed around his cock, Castiel bucked slightly into Dean's mouth as the last bit was milked from him... 

Dean pulled off Castiel and wiped his mouth. Looking up at Castiel. 

"Shit..." Castiel took a few steps back and fell lightly on to his bed, eyes still on Dean "That was amazing Dean" He patted the bed next to him "Your turn" 

Dean made to pull his boxers down, but Castiel frowned. 

"No Dean. Leave them on" 

Dean lay on the bed next to Castiel and understood. Castiel hadn't done anything like this before, expecting him to start with a blow job was, unrealistic. 

Castiel looked over at Dean, nervously. "You need to tell me when I'm making you feel good... What you like" He said as his hand slipped under Dean's boxers to his cock.  


	26. Becoming a Pack

Castiel is staring at Bela, eyes narrowed. He still doesn't trust her completely. He is wary of how much she knows about him, it's with a weird pang of guilt but he feels angry towards Ellen, once again telling someone about him without his knowledge or permission. It had worked out with Dean, way better than he'd dared hope. But surely they'd been lucky?

He sighed, this was the situation he was in and he had to get on board with it "Alright, I've been thinking about it. Let's say we do this.. we work with you. We become a team. I think killing your father should be our first step. We have eight months until the election for mayor... So we need two, perfect plans. And Bela. Your father was reported and jailed for what he did to you, so you will be a suspect"

Bela nods, listening carefully. Dean is sat back on the couch, as Castiel paces and talks to them both.

"If we are all going to work together.. I am in charge" Said Castiel, seeing Dean nodding silently in the corner of his eye but seeing Bela frown.

"I'm sorry? In charge? I thought we were going to be a team?" 

"You might be the Sarah Conner of the quick kill Bela, but Cas is the fucking terminator, he'd go back in time to get shit done right if he had to," Said Dean staring at Bela. 

Castiel continues, face remaining expressionless but heart surging in fondness for Dean at his words "You want to go off and do a kill on your own, fine. You want to work with us, you follow my rules. Teams have leaders. Do you smoke?"

Bela blinked, surprised by the sudden change of topic "No. I don't smoke"

"Do you drink?" Asked Castiel

"Yes..?" 

"Not anymore you don't," Said Castiel plainly "Do you train? Workout?" 

"Yes" Said Bela slightly moodily "I do"

"Good, I will want to go over your exercise routine with you. Dean... Can you get the tests please" 

Dean smiled and got up, walking away to the kitchen to get Bela the same tests he'd had to pass when he had first arrived. Dean walked back over to them with a small white bag and picked out the drugs test first to hand to Bela... Seeing the pee stick in Dean's hands, she laughed. 

"I'm not pregnant," She said eyeing it.

"That's actually this one" Said Dean picking out a pregnancy test kit. 

"You aren't serious?" She said looking at Castiel, who just nodded at her.

"I will not risk an innocent life, If you're pregnant and get hurt.. we would have to take you to the hospital... There are too many things that that would effect. So you will take the tests, you know about me, through Ellen. I know very little about you. Take the test and start earning our trust. I will also need you to go through a medical check list for me. You don't get nose bleeds in a storm or anything like that do you?"

Bela turned to Dean who was now blushing slightly, her turn to grin "No I don't, give me the damn tests then.." 

Bela proves she is baby and drug-free, and Castiel relaxes slightly. Dean's fidgeting uncomfortably, a little stung that Castiel brought up his nose bleed. 

"I will need to know everything about you, your birthday, your fathers birthday, when you were placed into care, the day he was arrested, sentenced, released.. everything, any date of importance, places you went together when you were a child. We can't risk the police linking your father's disappearance to you because of a date or place, it needs to be picked perfectly, but seem random. If we do this, we will need to make it look like he just took off. I imagine you will still be questioned. You will need to be prepared for that. Because this is a personal kill, we can't kill him how I normally would, So I'm going to take him. I have no connection to him whatsoever. On the day I take him you and Dean will be in very public places, you'll both buy things from shops, you'll keep your receipts. You will both make sure whoever serves you both at those shops would remember you, either flirt with them or be a really annoying customer.. Just be memorable.."

Dean was listening to Castiel going on, talking to Bela, a strange feeling of loss overcoming him. He'd had Castiel all to himself, and now he was going to have to share. There was a new kid in class.. and Dean wasn't sure he liked her yet. 

Castiel was now holding up a little black box and a sim card... "These little devices have sim cards in them, you can call them and they answer straight away, no noise, then you can hear what is going on in the room that they are located, I bought three of these, we will each have one and we will be able to keep an eye, or ear rather.. on your father, where ever I put him when I take him, that's something else we need to work out"

He hands the little box to Bela to look at and continues... "What bothers me is we don't have an in with the police, we'll have no idea how long it will take them to investigate your father's disappearance, or if and when it changes from a missing person case to a murder investigation... We won't know when they would want to question you Bela"

"Can I say something?" Asked Bela suddenly

"I'm listening"

"I know that when it comes to my father, I am not going to be able to remain.. objective. I hate the man too much. So as far as making a plan goes, I'm on board with whatever you come up with. As long.. as I get to kill him, my way"

"I understand, we will, of course, respect your wishes for as far as possible, but part of being perfect is to plan for everything that can go wrong.. What I mean is, we are going to go over several plans, find the best one, and pick it apart until its useless and then do it again until we find one, we can answer every problem to. If a problem arises, such as your father's location somehow being discovered... He will have seen my face, I will be forced to act... You understand?"

Bela nods "Yes, I want to kill him, but him being dead is more important. Just pick somewhere really good to hide him"

***

Bela's leaves Castiel's, having filled out his medical checklist. No known allergies. They had talked for a few hours, going over a few plans, nothing decided yet. Castiel is feeling somewhat lighter, his confidence in Bela having increased slightly. He looks over to Dean... 

"What's wrong?" He asks 

"Nothing.." 

"Don't lie to me, Dean. What is it?" 

"Why did you have to bring up the nosebleed to her?" 

Castiel frowned "Are you serious?"

Dean shrugged.

"I brought it up because I was caught by surprise when that happened with you, I learn by my mistakes. I'm sorry if you feel like I was trying to embarrass you, although if you do feel that way, you clearly don't know me at all. I care about you. I didn't bring it up to demean you, I brought it up to keep, us safe. That's all there is to it" 

Dean nodded "Still.."

"Still what Dean?" Castiel asked getting annoyed "You are behaving like.." Castiel blinked, Dean was looking at him from the corner of his eyes "Dean are you.. worried about Bela? Are you... Jealous?" 

Dean scoffed loudly, which Castiel took to mean... Yes. 

"Dean" 

Dean looked up at him "Yes?"

"Stand up and follow me"

Castiel led Dean to his bathroom and pushed the plug into the plug hole, turning on the hot water "Strip" Said Castiel to Dean as he began to take his own clothes off. Castiel climbed into the tub "Get in" He said to Dean and Dean obeyed climbing in and settling between Castiel's legs, his back to him. 

"Lay back"

Dean lays his head back on Castiel and Castiel squeezes shower gel over Deans chest and starts to massage it into his skin with his fingers...

"I want you to listen to me, very carefully"

"Ok," Says Dean 

"I trust you. I like you. I know you. I have you, you have me. Bela is not a threat to you when it comes to my feelings for you. I do not fully trust her yet, I barely know her, I don't know that she can follow instructions like you can, you are so good, Dean. You make me want to be better, to keep you safe. Do you understand? I hope things work out with Bela, for.. our work. Nothing more. It's different with you. I connected to you very quickly, it just took me a while to understand what that connection was. You were my apprentice but you're much more than that to me now... You're my person"

 


	27. Thinking Mind's

Dean was breathing lightly as Castiel's fingers continued to knead into his chest. Castiel's words had given Dean the feeling of perfect peace. Bela was gone, it was just him and Cas now and Cas was taking care of him. Castiel's confidence in being naked with Dean had come on in bounds, it softened Dean to know, only he got Castiel like this... 

"I'm sorry" Said Dean quietly and when Castiel didn't respond Dean went on "For asking you why you brought up my nose bleed. You once told me that everything you did was for a reason, even if you hadn't shared it with me... I should have known better. It's just, I don't know. I did feel a bit weird about Bela being here and I didn't want her knowing how close I had come to fucking up before" 

Castiel sighed "It's likely she already knew about your nose bleed, we should ask her exactly how much Ellen has told her about us. But more importantly, you didn't fuck up Dean, I did. That fault was mine. You were relying on me to teach you and to prepare you and I wasn't prepared myself, and then I spoke to you badly. For which I don't think I even apologized. I am sorry Dean. I was angry with myself and I took it out on you"

"It's ok," He said softly before turning to face Castiel "What do you think of Bela?"

"I think we would be stupid to trust her until she has proven she can be trusted," Said Castiel "But I don't know how to test her. With you, you meeting me, and not outing me was a good start, you came back here, with me on your own and put your faith in me. Bela turned up and walked right in, I can't decide how I feel about that, at first it annoyed me. But thinking about it now, how would I have reacted if she'd been all unsure and timid? Probably more suspicious of her to honest. We know she has killed people, we know she knew Ellen, we know some of what happened to her with her father... What else?"

"She's a nurse" Offered Dean

"Yes, that would be a useful addition to our little team. Not as useful as Ellen being with the police but still useful. I want to give Bela the chance to prove herself. But you get a say in that too Dean... before I was only risking myself. Now it's a risk to you too. Your opinion matters, what do you think?"

"I told you I spoke to her outside the other day, she told me she uses sex as her weapon... Makes a guy believe he is in for a good time and then kills him... She thinks that's our in with Paul Richards... You know.. how to get him alone. She's smart, but I can't decide if I think that's good news for us or not"

"Seems we are both on the fence" Castiel's fingers were in Dean's hair now, massaging his scalp softly "We need to an eye on her, see what we can find out, discreetly. I think it may be prudent to plan an out"

"What?" Dean had been feeling slightly sleepy under Castiel's touch but he jerked in the water at his words "What do you mean?"

"I mean, she knows a lot about us. Especially me, and while I believe that she may have had some loyalty to Ellen, that does not mean it passes on to me. If she plans to cause trouble for us, we need to be ready for that. The reason I am only bringing this up now is... Because I do believe that she wants her father dead. It's just what comes after that, that concerns me. I will have provided her with an alibi for the time of his kidnapping, I need to attempt to do that for myself too, I'm not sure how yet. And if that were to fail, we would have to leave"

"You mean run?" Asked Dean slightly taken-aback 

"Yes"

"You said we?" 

"Yes I did" 

"You'd want me to run with you?"

"What part of you are my person, didn't you understand?" 

Dean smiled, laying his head back against Castiel again "Where would _we_ run to?" 

"I don't know, something else to think about" 

"We could always just kill Bela?" Dean laughed, Castiel rolled his eyes. 

"Dean?"

"Yeah Cas" 

"When you killed Martin Thyme.." Dean stiffened against Castiel's body, waiting. "How did you feel?" 

Dean turned in the water, looking at Castiel "I felt.. nervous, scared of messing up. But also, excited. Not about killing him, well not as such. But about testing everything that you've taught me, by myself. I also felt, relief. Ellen put a lot of faith in me, right from the moment she met me, and being able to make good on this promise to her.. felt good. Like she'd somehow know, ya know? That I kept my word. And... It was good to do something for you too, even though I knew you'd be pissed with me at first... I still felt like.. I was protecting you for a change, which felt good because.. I think you're pretty fucking special and deserve someone sticking their neck out for you like you did for me. I think you are my person too, Cas. I wanted to make you proud of me, make Ellen proud. I wanted to do it right. And, I wanted that sicko off the streets. So yeah, I killed him.. and it was kinda fucking wonderful"

"I am proud of you" Castiel was looking at Dean so contentedly "I was angry, but I understand" Castiel leaned his head around slightly so his lips could reach Deans. Pressing on to them tenderly. 

"I'm proud of you too" Castiel tilted his head at Dean in question "Don't look at me like that, think how far you've come. You barely looked me in the eye when we first met. You've opened up"

Castiel frowned "Only with you Dean"

"That works for me" Dean chuckles 

Castiel's hand begins to travel down Dean's torso, to his groin, dipping below the surface of the water to find Dean's hardness. Wrapping his hand around Dean and slowly moving his palm up and down on his cock, while his own erection rests between himself and Dean in the water. 

Dean is gripping the sides of the bath as the water begins to make waves from where Castiel's hand is jerking him, his head tilting to one side and resting back on Castiel's shoulder so he can lick into Castiel's mouth, deep sensual kisses. As Castiel's hand worked Dean, the sound of skin slapping water and Dean's breathing, grew louder... 

"Cas.." Dean purred against his neck

"Yes, Dean?" 

"Don't stop" Dean's eyes fluttered shut... Castiel gripped him slightly tighter, stroking up and down the length of Dean's cock.. until Dean made a beautiful moaning sound and came with his cock head just above the surface... 

"Ughhhhh fuck. You're getting really good at that" 

Castiel smiled "I enjoy doing that to you"

Dean and Castiel stood up, Castiel pulling the plug and turning the shower on. He wasn't lying, getting Dean off was his second favorite thing, Dean getting him off being his first... He enjoyed making Dean pant his name, he enjoyed having every inch of Dean's cock sliding through his palm. 

Dean rinsed himself down the with shower head and stepped out of the bath, looking at Castiel "What else would you like to do to me Cas?" He asked looking at Castiel smiling "Because I can't wait for you to fuck me"

Castiel froze turning to Dean "You want me to fuck you?"

"Hell yeah, don't you want that?" Asked Dean

"Would you then be wanting to fuck me?"

"Yes, if that was something you wanted.." 

Castiel looked at Dean "I.. I'm not ready for that"

Dean looked disappointed but nodded "You're in control. I'm here, for what you want. And I won't pressure you" 

 


	28. Keeping Watch

The first night that Dean had gone to follow Bela, had been a bit of a bust. He had found her at a bar.. dressed up and looking fancy, a few guys had gone over and spoken to her and she flirted and eventually left with one of them, Dean had gone in and spoken to the bartender... 

"Hey, I'm looking for my sister. She has long shoulder length brown hair, pretty, slender, head cheerleader kinda attitude"

The bartender laughed "Yeah, she left. About five minutes ago" 

"She left, damn. She wasn't drinking, was she? She has a job interview at the office I work in, in the morning and my necks on the line" He asked trying to sound casual

"She had a diet lemonade," He said "She did pay for a guys drink though, they left together" 

"Right, thanks. I'll see if I can catch up with them" Dean smiled at the barman and dropped a small tip in the tip jar, before leaving. He didn't find Bela again that night. So he drove home and phoned Castiel.

"Found her at a bar, she left with some guy... But she wasn't drinking. I made sure" Said Dean as he closed his front door behind him. 

"Did she see you?"

"No, I don't think so" 

"I see. Do we know if the guy was a target?" Asked Castiel

"No idea, apparently she bought him a drink" 

***

The next time was Castiel's turn, he followed Bela straight from her house. She went to the same bar, dolled up again, heels, killer black dress, the works. Castiel watched as she ordered a drink, lemonade. A guy came over to her, she smiled and chatted with him for a while. Then he turned and left her alone. The next guy who spoke to her, was tall, dark-haired, had a smart suit and placed his hand on her shoulder, finger gliding over her skin gently. She left with him after ten minutes, Castiel following the pair from a safe distance to a motel, they went in together. Three hours later, the guy left. Another hour later and Bela left, alone. She drove home. 

Castiel frowned. What was she doing? 

 

***

Dean was waiting, down the street in his car as Bela left the bar. Another guy on her arm. The guy turned to Bela and kissed her. Leading him to her car, she drove them to a motel. Dean watching from the parking lot across the street as Bela and the guy went into a room. An hour later and Dean saw the lights go off before the guy came out of the room. Dean frowned, the guy had a big scratch across his face, that had definitely not been there before. He got out of the car. Suddenly feeling oddly worried. 

He ran across the street. 

"Hey man," He called to the guy who was walking away "You alright?"

The guy turned around looking annoyed "Fuck off" He said before turning and walking away... 

Deans gut told him something was wrong. He walked to the motel door and knocked. "Bela, open up. It's Dean.." 

After a moment the door opened... And there stood Bela, tears down her face, makeup running over her cheeks, a cut above her left eyebrow, dress ripped... Dean took one look at her and ran after the man who'd just left. 

He was just getting into his car as Dean reached him. Dragging him backward by his collar. 

"Hey man, what the fuck" Shouted the man angrily as Dean slammed him against his car, seeing red. 

"What the fuck did you do to her?" He shouted

"Nothing she wasn't asking for" Snarled the man angrily.

Dean threw his fist in his face.. punching him.. "Fucker! Don't ever go near her again!" 

"DEAN" Bela screamed out as the man pulled a knife from his pocket and jabbed it at Dean "Oh my god" She breathed as she saw the flash of silver and red... 

Dean's body crumpled, the man got into his car and sped off, Bela rushed over to Dean, pulling out her phone "Oh god, shit.. shit Dean?" Bela was crying, one hand on the cut on Dean's side, the other holding her phone to her ear. 

"Hello?" Castiel answered the phone instantly.

"Ridgeside motel. Bring a first aid kit... Dean's been stabbed" She sobbed hanging up and pushing her phone in her bra "Dean.. get up, get up, I need to get you inside" 

Deans vision was blurring, the sound of Bela's voice echoing around his head. Bela somehow managed to get him to his feet. An arm slung over her shoulder as she crossed the car park, barefooted to the motel room. He was shaky on his feet, stumbling as he let Bela lead him to the motel room, tripping over the curb slightly. 

"Cas?" Mumbled Dean weakly 

"He's coming, he's coming.." Said Bela as she slumped Dean on to the bed "Shit, Dean... What were you doing here?"

Dean didn't answer her. His eyes fluttering shut as he passed out... 

"Fuck" Bela's hands were covered in Dean's blood... She ran to the bathroom and grabbed a towel, her dress falling partly down her body, almost like a skirt now... She pulled up Dean's top and pressed the towel to Deans side.. "Come on Castiel" She muttered as she attempted to get the bleeding to stop. 

***

"Ridgeside motel. Bring a first aid kit... Dean's been stabbed" Castiel's brain went into overdrive... Dean had been stabbed? When, by who, was he .. MOVE YOUR ASS CASTIEL.

He grabbed a bag threw, the first aid kit in it and ran out the door, still holding his phone... Trying to remain calm. He can't lose Dean... He can't. He sped all the way to the motel, running several red lights and parked at a bad angle, ignoring his usual rules of not drawing attention to himself. 

A motel door was open and he headed for it, freezing in the doorway as his eyes explored the scene before him, Dean sprawled out on the bed... Bela crying over him pressing a towel to his wound, a towel soaked in red... 

"Bela... Is he.." He croaked as he stepped forward holding out the first aid kit.

She turned to look at him "He just passed out, he's still alive"

"What do you need?" 

"Just apply pressure here" She said snatching the first aid kit from Castiel and moving out of the way so he could hold the towel down over Dean "I need to clean it as soon as the bleeding stops" Castiel holds the towel down on Deans side, and Bela feels around the cut pressing down on Dean's skin, feeling for any sign of internal bleeding or damage.

"I think he's alright, I don't think there's any bleeding on the inside," She says wiping hair out of her face with the back of her arm, smearing a little of Deans blood across her forehead. 

"I think the bleeding has stopped," Says Castiel trying to keep calm, he is used to handling high-pressure situations, he is used to seeing blood... But this.. this was Dean's blood, this was Dean, lay unconscious before him.. Dean, not a monster. 

"Hold it on for another two minutes, to let it start forming clots. Then I'll clean it and wrap it" 

Castiel nodded "Who did this Bela?" 

"Devlin Cornel," Said Bela looking ashamed suddenly "I don't... Dean... Devlin was here with me, and then he left.." Tears pouring down her face again "Dean was just suddenly here, out of nowhere and went after him" 

"Dean was following you," Said Castiel "Why did Dean go after him? Was he a target?"

"No" Bela sniffs "Here was here with me... We were together... He wanted something, I didn't want.. And he didn't like being told no"

From the state of Bela's undress, Castiel could guess what that something might have been. Devlin Cornel just went to the top of Castiel's list, child groomer or not. 

Castiel waited the two minutes and carefully lifted the towel off Dean, the cut seemed tiny, for so much blood... but luckily the bleeding had stopped. Bela moved to start cleaning Dean up at once. Wiping carefully around the cut with antibacterial wipes. 

"Butterfly stitches won't be enough, I'm going to need the suture kit, you have one right?" Castiel nods digging it out of the kit. Bela jumps up "I need to wash my hands, keep an eye on it, and don't let him move" She darts to the bathroom and washes the blood off her hands, grabbing the other towel and drying them... Before coming back and taking the little suture pack off Castiel. She begins stitching Dean up neatly.

"Butterfly stitches over it too, to hold it properly. Antiseptic spray. Bandage..." Bela sprays over the wound, then puts the bandage over it "Medical tape?" 

"Here" Castiel hands her the tape, watching her and she tapes over Dean's wound. 

"That's it," She says getting up "When he wakes up, he is going to be in a whole world of pain, but you can't, CAN NOT... let him move" 

"There are pain med's and a syringe," Said Castiel looking back in the first aid kit "This is a little more loaded than your average first aid kit"

"Do you have morphine?" 

"Buprenorphine... From the clinic. But you can use it on Dean, for now," Said Castiel pulling the little bottle out "Its addictive though, when we get him back to my house, he will need to switch to something else. He will be alright?" He asks passing the syringe to Bela

"He should be," She says sighing, she rolls up Dean's jacket arm as far as she can and injects the pain drugs. 

Castiel looks at Bela, bloody, a cut on her face, dress torn... "You need to get cleaned up. We are staying here till dawn, I will clean the scene and then we will leave. Here, wear this.." He pulls his jumper off and tosses it to Bela. 

"Scene?" 

"This" Castiel waves his hand around the room "Is a situation that needs to get unfucked, right now. So I can kill Devlin Cornel" 

Bela's eyes widen "He doesn't fit your code" 

"He hurt two people I care about... I think we can make an exception" Bela swallowed, but remained silent.


	29. Then and Now

Dean was still sleeping, as Castiel cleaned the room around him. He had got some of his supplies from his car... gloves, cleaning fluid...

They had moved Dean off the bed and on to a large sheet of plastic, pulling the sheets from the bed and throwing them in a bin liner. Castiel scrubbed at the drops of blood on the carpet. Bela went around scrubbing her bloody handprints off the door handles. 

"Everything, everything needs to be wiped..." Said Castiel, for what must have been the tenth time "I need to get the CCTV footage.. the blood outside.. we need a bucket.. check if there is a bowl or something.. " His brain was ticking over... He looked at Dean, pale on the floor. Suddenly he was back in his bedroom.. with Ellen...

_Ellen's face was pale.. she had a warm little smile on her face "It was the perfect day Castiel. I want to go out on a high... Please.." The canister of compressed Nitrogen was in the closet, the face mask and tube were ready. There was no reason, for Castiel to delay._

_"On your own terms, in your own time" He nodded, before breaking down, tears spilling from his eye as he looked at his aunt "I will miss you, so very much"_

_"I'll miss you too hon, but you're going to be alright, Dean cares about you. You won't be alone. You just keep, keeping on, being safe. What you do is so important... you are saving children from monsters, but you need to protect yourself Castiel. Because you are so important"_

_"This isn't about me Ellen. This is about you, I couldn't have done any of this without you, you have been so strong for me. You've taught me so much. You saved me"_

_"I didn't," Says Ellen crying now "I didn't Castiel, and that is my biggest regret, not being there to keep you safe.."_

*** 

"Castiel?" Bela's voice broke through, reaching Castiel and pulling him back into the motel room "Are you alright?"

Castiel looked at her.. thinking "What were you doing here in the first place Bela? We've been keeping an eye on you, same bar, different guys..."

Bela looked shocked "So you've been stalking me?" 

Castiel raised an eyebrow "You know too much about me, about Dean. What choice did we have?"

Bela shrugs "I guess... I wasn't doing anything though... I was just being me..." 

"And all the men?" Asks Castiel sharply 

"I enjoy sex. But I don't want a relationship..."

"So you sleep with a different guy every night?" Castiel remembers suddenly how Bela had eyed up Dean the first time they had met.

"Not every night. And don't look at me like that... You should know, better than most... How what happened to us as kids, can fuck up us for romantic relationships... We just dealt with it in different ways... You never did anything with anyone, right? Until Dean came along... " Castiel looks up at her surprised "Oh please... your house stinks of sex every time I come round. I know you and Dean are together... Why should my needs go unfulfilled just because I haven't found my 'Dean'? You told me to stop drinking, I did.. you told me to exercise more, I have been. But my sex life was none of your fucking business - until now..." She looks down at Dean "I can see why you like him, he didn't even think about it... He saw me.. in the state, I was in and just went after him... It all happened so fast.." 

"He is going to be fine," Said Castiel looking down at Dean too... 'He is going to make it'...

***

_"You're going to be fine, you're going to survive this. You can't give up" Said Ellen softly as Castiel gets the surgical gloves on and gets the canister from the closet.. attaching the tube to the fitting..._

_Tears burning his eyes.. he leans over Ellen and kisses her forehead "I want to stay with you, I don't want to leave you alone"_

_Ellen's breath catches "I'd like that, just until... I fall asleep"_

_Castiel nods, putting the face mask on the table by the bed "Would you like to tell me about your date?"_

_Ellen smiles sighing "Oh he was very handsome, and a real gentleman"_

_"I'm glad, but you deserve so much more"_

_"You can tell Dean, he did well. You both did. Thank you so much hon. I love you, Castiel" Ellen sighs closing her eyes... "I'm tired.."_

_Castiel swallows "Are you ready to go to sleep?" Ellen nods._

_Castiel picks up the face mask, kissing Ellen's cheek before placing it over her face gently... He looks into her eyes one last time, so much pain, and fear had been hiding behind them... All coming to the surface now, in these, her final moments..._

_Ellen closes her eyes as Castiel turns the handle and the gas starts.. it would only take a couple of minutes..._

_"Goodnight" Whispers Castiel, his voice cracking slightly._

_***_

After a while, Castiel looks at Bela "What did he do to you?"

"My father?" She asks, Castiel nods "He hurt me. He.. he raped me, more than once... one of the last times was different, I'd started having my periods and he tried.. to.."

"Ok, I understand..." Castiel moved towards Bela, but she shrunk away from him "It's ok Bela, I'm not him.. I'm not going to hurt you" He opened his arms... giving her the choice... She stood frozen for a moment, before falling into them. Clutching him. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Dean got hurt... I didn't mean for that to happen.."

"I know" Castiel held her as she cried into his shoulder "I know.." This was the real Bela, her hard front that they had met, a mask. Not unlike the one, he wore daily himself, hiding who he really was... But he'd always had Ellen.. and now he had Dean... Who did Bela have? With Ellen gone... no one... It was no wonder she was feeling lonely... He hadn't even considered how Ellen's death might have affected her. 

"Bela... I am sorry for what he did to you and... for your loss" He said quietly "You cared for Ellen too, I was too wrapped up in my own grief and keeping myself and Dean safe from you, to even think about your pain. I apologize" Bela looked at him, and smiled a small smile. 

Just as Dean opens his eyes...


	30. Take Me Home

Dean's vision is just colors and blurring shapes, but as his focus settles... It settles on Castiel, arms wrapped around Bela. Dean blinks. Trying to move and feeling a sharp pain in his side.. 'Oh shit, that's right I got stabbed'. 

Dean pulled a face against the pain and took a sharp breath in, Castiel hearing him and him and Bela breaking apart to both turn to Dean. 

"Dean... Don't try to move" Said Bela 

"Thanks, genius idea" Huffed Dean at Bela, before turning to Castiel eyes narrowing at him "Didn't realize you two were hugging now.."

"I didn't realize you were at the stage of getting stabbed to defend Bela, that seems a little further along than a hug, don't you think?" Says Castiel "How are you feeling?" 

Dean pulls a face "Fucking fabulous, in fact, I was thinking, if it's not too late, let's go and find a karaoke bar... I feel some Carrie Underwood - Before He Cheats coming on"

Castiel shakes his head "So dramatic Dean. Nothing is going on between myself and Bela. I want you, you know this" 

"Just take me home" Dean grumbles not meeting Castiel's or Bela's eyes. 

 "Not yet... We still need to get rid of the CCTV footage" Said Castiel, looking from Dean to Bela "I need your help"

Bela nodded "You mean you need a distraction?"

"Yes, are you up for it?" Asked Castiel

Bela sighed "Sure, I'll do whatever you want" Dean rolled his eyes on the bed, he'd said that very thing to Castiel on a number of occasions.

"Bela," He said trying to sit up and wincing in pain... 

"Oh don't try to move Dean," She said, moving towards him "Thank you, by the way"

He frowned at her "What for?" 

"Doing what you did, I'm sorry it played out this way. But thank you" Dean's expression softened, as he looked at Bela, the cut on her forehead. 

"What are you wearing?" He asked looking at her jumper and with another pang, realizing, it was Castiel's. "Never mind" 

It was another hour before they could leave, having deleted the security camera footage as Bela flirted with the guy on the desk and Castiel snook past to the office. They cleaned the blood from the parking lot with soapy water, slopping it away. Castiel took a few minutes to get the bloodied sheets from the motel room and threw them in the trunk, he'd replace them with bed sheets from home when they came back for Dean's car. 

Very slowly Bela and Castiel helped Dean get up and got him into the passenger seat of Castiel's car, Bela following behind them in her own... 

***

"We're at your house?" Asked Dean groggily, staring out of the car window, as they pulled up at Cas' house. 

"Yes" Answered Castiel simply

"I told you to take me home Cas.."

"I know, and I have" Castiel smiled at Dean "I want you to live with me, permanently. I've been thinking about asking you for a few days, I wasn't sure if it was too quick. But now, you need someone to care for you while you recover, I can be that person, I want to be that person. And it would be easier for me to look after you here, if, when you're recovered, you wish to return to your flat, I will accept that if not... You could move in here, with me. I'd like to keep you" 

Dean couldn't help it, how was he meant to stay annoyed when Castiel said things like that, his face cracked into a beautifully happy smile "I'm yours to keep Cas" 

"I'm going to get you inside, comfortable. Then me and Bela will have to go back and get your car. Is there anything you need?" 

"Just you," Said Dean softly

Castiel nodded "We won't be long" 

***

Bela drove Castiel back to the motel "He thinks we're..?" 

"No. Not really. But I will need that jumper back, I think you keeping it might be a step too far" Castiel grinned at her, but then became serious "I need to know everything you know about this guy... Devlin Cornel"

***

Later that night, Dean lay on Castiel's bed, in just a pair of loose sweatpants, a bandage over his cut. Castiel comes out of the bathroom and stops, stood in the doorway just... looking at Dean.

"What's wrong?" Asks Dean

"You're in my bed... Nothing is wrong, I was just admiring how it looks.."

"Dope" Smirked Dean

"If you weren't injured..." Castiel sighs, thinking.

"What..?" Says Dean interest peeked... "What if I wasn't injured?"

Castiel scratches his thumb over his lip as he looks at Dean "You can't move" He said thoughtfully, walking away from Dean... 

He opened a drawer, Dean trying to look over and see what he was doing... He pulled out a handful of ties... Before turning back to Dean... "You can not move, Dean"

Deans eyes widened as Castiel walked over to him holding up the ties "Right?" 

"Right, I won't move" Said Dean not entirely sure what was about to happen, but somehow suddenly desperate to find out.

Castiel slowly walked around the bed, tying Dean's ankles and wrists to the metal bed frame, as much about him having control as they were to stop Dean moving too much and splitting open his stitches. 

"If you are in pain or need me to stop... you need to tell me immediately. Do you understand?" 

"Yes, stop what?" Asked Dean, cock twitching as his mind went mad with images... Finally settling on focusing, on the scene before him. Castiel stood at the end of the bed, peeling off his clothing, item by item... There was no neatly folding it this time, he just let each item fall to the floor, his shirt.. his pants, socks.. boxers.. all gone. His erection clear as day for Dean to see... 

Castiel crawled up the bed, Dean swallowed, for someone who was new to the whole sex thing... Cas was sure putting on a fucking amazing show.. which only got better as he carefully tugged Dean's sweatpants down, freeing his hardened cock from them and holding it in his hand. 

"I realized something today when I was driving to that motel room, wondering if I would find you alive.." Castiel leaned over Dean to look intently into his eyes.. and said very simply "I love you" before sinking his mouth down over Dean's cock... 

Dean gasped a mixture of Castiel's words and actions.. shocking him to the core... He breaths, closing his eyes.. taking a second to process... 

The feel of Castiel's tongue rolling over the head of his dick, making his brain foggy... "Holy shit Cas.." He panted "Fuckkk, fuckkk" 

Castiel was rolling his tongue over Dean, sucking on the head of Deans cock, sinking his mouth over it as far as he could.. gagging slightly when he went too far... Which was around the time that Dean remembered this was Castiel's first time giving head... Which just made the whole thing seem even hotter to Dean... 

"Fuck Cas" Dean was squirming, trying to stop himself bucking up "Ohhh shit.." 

Castiel was trying to copy what Dean had done to him, he was clearly going to have to work on his gag reflex but other than that, he seemed to be doing OK. It suddenly dawned on him, however, that Dean would likely come in his mouth... A thought that made him pause, he pulled off Dean... 

"Dean" 

"Ahh don't stop, I wasn't moving" 

"I just.. I just wanted to tell you, I want to taste you" Almost bashfully Castiel lowered his eyes from Deans face back down to his cock.. adding a hand to massage Dean's balls... 

"HHhhholllly fucking shit" Dean moaned "Hehh I'm close" 

Another minute and Dean's balls tightened, Castiel heard Dean cry out as he felt his cock pulse... Castiel pulled his mouth back until just the head was in his mouth and swallowed, making a face at the texture of come.

Dean's body relaxed and his breathing began to slow. Castiel knelt up, taking his own cock in his hand, he had remained hard the entire time focussing on Dean getting off... Now that he had taken care of Dean, he began jerking his hand over his own cock... Catching his own come in his hand a minute later, before meeting Dean's eyes.. Dean had been watching him. 

"Shit, that was hot Cas.." He said staring at him 

"I need to wash my hands" Castiel chuckled softly as backed off the bed and went to the bathroom. Then he came back and untied Dean. 

"Cas..."

"Yes, Dean?" 

"What you said before.." He swallowed "I love you too. I didn't want the first time I said it, to be because you had my cock in your mouth, that's the only reason I didn't say it back straight away... But yeah... I love you" 


	31. In The Dark Of The Night

It has been two days since Dean was stabbed... And Castiel was ready, leaving Dean sleeping soundly on the sofa, with a note saying he would be back and not to worry, Castiel goes out, finding his way across town... 

***

Castiel waits in Devlin's apartment, in the shadows of the dark room, facing the door.. dart gun in his hand, with a highly concentrated dose of Ketamine waiting, just in case. Face dead set, ready, hunting. Hands gloved hair net on. Shoes covered.

It is almost midnight before Castiel hears a car pull into the driveway. He flexes his fingers over the dart gun trigger, rolls his neck on his shoulder and raises the gun, pointing it towards the door. Castiel risks a quick glance through the curtain, Devlin was alone, walking up the pathway to his front door.

The door opens, he hears keys turning, locking the door... Back out through the window, it is then... He hears footsteps going upstairs, a light goes on somewhere upstairs... He hears a toilet flush a few minutes later. The light goes off, a thud of a body falling on to a bed.. and then.. nothing.

He waits, wanting to make sure the man is truly asleep before going upstairs. An hour later, he can hear snoring. He creeps through the darkness, feeling around with his foot before each step. Patient and silent. Reaching the stairs, he carefully climbs them, cautious of squeaky steps, he stops on the landing, listening, the light snoring of Devlin coming from behind one of the doors. The door is slightly open and Castiel can get into the room without turning the handle... 

Moving slowly, allowing his eyesight to adjust, he moves across the room. Taking the needle pouch from his pocket, dart gun aimed at Devlin, he unzips the needle case with the zip between his teeth. Once the case is open he checks his sleeping victim... Putting the dart gun in his pocket.. using his now free hand to pull the needle from the pouch... Leering over Devlin's body, he gets needle firmly in his grip... One hand raising to linger over Devlin's mouth, the other taking the needle to his neck. 

"Hello Devlin," He says looking into his eyes as he presses a gloved hand over the man's mouth and he wakes. He jams the needle into his neck and squeezes... He just has to hold him, just a few seconds... Devlin's eyes were wide, with fear and anger. "You have about a minute, two at best," Castiel says. 

"I hear you're an ass man, which I wouldn't have a problem with... Except you don't wait for permission, do you? You see permission is very important. But you don't seem to respect when someone tells you no, you go after what you want regardless. The problem, for you... Is that you touched what is mine... You hurt people I care about... I know you didn't know that at the time... But that shouldn't really make a difference, the point is you are never again going to be able to hurt anyone.. you will never touch what belongs to me again"

Devlin was making a muffled attempt to speak behind the hand over his mouth. Eyes wide, face sweaty... Castiel ignores him and continues "Normally... I would like to do this .. in a certain way. Normally I would have you bound to a table.. hands and feet tied down, in some abandoned building" Castiel leaned over Devlin, eyes dark as he whispers menacingly to him.

"Then I would take my knife.. hold it above you, like this" Castiel's knife glinted in front of him he swung it down close to Devlin, who's eyes squeezed shut terrified "Oh.. is there a problem, I thought you liked knives?" Castiel smiled evilly at the man before him, this was the man who'd stabbed Dean, who'd tried to assault Bela. Oh, how he would like to just take his knife.. and carve this man up, into a million little pieces.

Putting the knife back into his pocket, he holds up the needle over Devlin, letting the man's eyes focus on it.. and fill with fear "This was filled with Succinylcholine, it is a neuromuscular paralytic drug. It paralyzes all the muscles of the body, including those used for breathing. Without ventilatory support, anyone who receives this drug will die from asphyxia. The bad news for you is that you are going to be wide awake while this occurs, because it causes muscular paralysis but has no sedative effects, you can feel everything. It is short acting because enzymes in the body begin to break down the drug almost immediately. This makes it tough for the crime labs to identify. So, by the time they find you Devlin.. there will be no Succinylcholine left to test for. No one, but me... will ever know what happened to you"

Castiel gets up to walk around Devlin's bed, staring over him as his eyes started to get red with bloodshot, his mouth opening and closing ever so slightly.

"This is what it feels like to be helpless," Says Castiel calmly "In six minutes, your brain will start to die... No one will be able to bring you back... But just to be sure... I'll wait" 

***

"Where have you been?" Asks Dean as Castiel comes through his front door... 

"I went to pay Devlin Cornel a visit.." Castiel smiled at Dean

"You did? Why didn't you tell me?" 

"Because you would have wanted to come with me, and you are still healing. I handled it, Dean. Don't worry"

"So he's.."

"Yes" 

Dean nods "And it went OK?" 

"It went perfectly, I also located this" Castiel holds up a ziplock bag with a knife in it "He had clearly tried to clean it himself, but to be sure... I will soak it in bleach before getting rid of it. This was the last thing that linked you, to Devlin"

Dean sighs "Ok, good. Have you told Bela?" 

"Not yet, I will call her tomorrow," Says Castiel lifting Dean's legs off the couch and sitting next to him, placing his legs gently back over himself "How are you feeling?"

"Pains getting better" Said Dean "Didn't like waking up to a note though.. Please, tell me in future... What if something had gone wrong, and you didn't come back.."

Castiel smiled fondly at Dean "I know, you're right.. No more secret jobs. That goes for both of us"

"Agreed" 


	32. Offender

One Year Earlier...

A white van left Fuller Landing Correctional Institution.  In the back, Robert Talbot, a man with a history of sex crimes. After ten years in prison, he’s getting out, early; due to good behavior. To finish the rest of his sentence, another four years on parole, for the rape of his own daughter, Bela. 

Four hours after leaving Fuller Landing, Robert Talbot walks out of a state building -- his first steps into freedom after ten years. Where those steps would lead him, he didn't know.  The prison van left him to be processed by parole and fitted with a GPS monitor. 

They didn't have any answers for him, his offender manager had just said “We're gonna put you on this GPS bracelet, good luck"  

By state law, sex offenders have to return to the county in which they lived when they committed their crime. Robert has to head home, unsure of where he will end up, unsure of the restrictions on where he can live, where the various buffer zones around areas children might be are. No one has given him any information on what those rules are, and he knows one wrong move can put him back in prison. 

After stopping at a bank to cash a check his uncle in Germany had sent him to get started, he boards a bus for the nearest Walmart.

Feeling pretty anxious and nervous... As he enters Walmart, Robert picked up supplies and a cell phone.  He had to call his parole agent to advise her where he's staying, once he figures out where that is. He didn't get a map of areas he can live when he gets out prison and they don't give him a list of approved addresses, he was told to figure it out, on his own.

But first, the cell phone is a challenge. Immediately it becomes clear, things have changed in the last ten years. He struggles for an hour to figure out how it works. The tiny futuristic machine in his hands is very confusing... 

Finally, once he gets it working, he calls Oak Creek Police. He’s not allowed to access the internet. He’s heard there are some motels on South 27th where he may be able to stay the night. They give him the green light for one night. But time is running out.  The battery on his GPS monitor is low. It’s only good for twelve hours.  If he doesn't charge it and it goes off, there will be a warrant issued for his arrest. Hastily he makes his way South, hoping to make it to a motel in time. A homeless sex offender, deemed by the state to be so dangerous he'll remain on the registry for life, strolling the street at night looking for a place to stay...

***

Now

After six weeks, sleeping rough and charging his phone by using a charging port in a local supermarket, Robert had found himself a job, the pay was minimal, but a job was not something to turn his nose up at.. Budget Rent-A-Car hired him and he had been working for them ever since as a Customer Service Associate, answering emails and calls, booking in peoples applications to rent a car. 

After six months, he'd started to get bored of scrapping by, he'd started placing the odd bets, winning a few hundred dollars here and there, but mostly losing.. Today was his pay day, betting day. 

He looked down at the scrambled eggs on toast on his plate, pushing the plate away from him and making a face, he turned to the waitress who was passing "This tastes like shit, don't expect a tip" He finished his coffee before leaving a few notes on the table for his meal and left the diner, the waitress glaring after him. 

He walked down the street towards the betting shop, unaware of the man watching him, sat on a bench across the street pretending to read a newspaper. Castiel's eyes followed the mans movements all the way to the shop, watched as he pulled the door back and disappeared inside. Castiel checked his watch, making a mental note of the time. 

A half hour later, Robert Talbot came out of the betting shop.. Castiel frowned over his paper, watching hi... He seemed to be crying. His face was bright red and he kept shaking his head and looking up at the sky.. wiping his hands over his eyes. He walked slowly away from the betting shop, but kept looking back at it.. before finally turning and walking away at a steady pace. 

Castiel shook his news paper straight and folded it, standing up as Robert rounded the corner away from him.. Castiel followed, keeping a safe distance away from him. Followed him almost four blocks until finally, Robert swung the door open to a travel agents and waltzed inside, smiling as he picked up a brochure..

Castiel narrowed his eyes, as he watched him...  

 

***

"I think he won.. I have no idea how much... But he walked into the travel agents straight from the betting shop" Castiel looked at Dean and Bela who were sat on his couch "It use to be that sex offenders, could go on holiday for three days or less without telling the police. However the law changed, now.. any overseas travel would have to be cleared by the police. This was brought in by the Home Office, it was designed to close loopholes that were identified as problems with the Sex Offenders’ Register"

"What does that mean?" Asked Dean

"It means, that either Robert is planning on going on holiday - in which case he would have to report to his offender manager or.. he is attempting to leave the country.. illegally... Possibly permanently"

Bela sighed heavily "Which would land him straight back in prison if he were to get caught, or if he doesn't.. he disappears and we don't know where to" 

"If he goes on a holiday, a pre-approved holiday... we could try to make it look like he ran... But us all flying out to where ever he decide's to go... puts us there for no reason other than to kill him. If he try's to run..." Castiel stops... "If it looks.. like he tried to run... " He scratches his chin, thinking... "If we laid out false trails.. in his name. Boat tickets, train tickets.. plane tickets.. paid in cash..." He turns away from Dean and Bela, thoughts jumbling together in his mind... "We need to know what his plan is... One of us is going to have break into his house and find out what he is up to"


	33. Murder Brainstorming

Castiel was pacing "It has to be me.." 

"But you're going to take him if they find you at a break-in at his house.. you're a suspect," Says Dean frowning "It should be me" 

"You are still recovering from a knife wound," Says Castiel

"I'm fine, that was nearly two weeks ago" 

"It was nine days ago Dean," Says Castiel "You can't do it, you're recovering and Bela.. you obviously can't" 

"I could.." Says Bela "If I get caught I could just claim that I wanted to confront my father..." 

"No," Says Castiel firmly

"There is always option.. four.." Says Dean "anonymous tip-off to the police, we just tell them what we know.. it appears like dick head Talbot has come into some money.. we tell them he could be trying to flee" 

Castiel shakes his head "That way they know someone is watching him, draws more attention" 

"Well fuck Cas, I don't know.." Says Dean angrily "You did a job a week ago. This is to close together" 

Bela was sat with head in her hands... thinking "What if.. we just.. kill him? In his home, make it look like an accident?" 

"How?" Demands Castiel 

"Well... I wanted to take him out... personally. But... I do have some information I was holding back, in case things got.. tricky. Peanuts... He has severe allergic reactions to peanuts" 

"I asked you about allergies, Bela!" Said Castiel angrily

"You asked me if I had any, I don't. Neither did my mother. I told you, I wanted to kill him myself, but if the choice is between this and him possibly getting away from us... and his parole..." 

Dean hid a smirk as Castiel's face reddened "Anything else we should know Bela?" 

"Just that... If we do, do it this way... I'll be getting the money. So it really needs to look like an accident"

"What?" Asked Dean and Castiel in shock.

"What? As his next of kin, it would come to me... I'll split it with you, three ways" 

"Forget about the damn money Bela," Says Dean rolling his eyes

Castiel shakes his head "No.. No.. she has a point... We forgot.. what are the main motives for murder: revenge, hate, jealousy, and money. Maybe that is something we can use... The fact that he has come into some money... Even if we can't... Bela being a beneficiary would implicate her if it became a murder case"

"So..." Said Dean thinking... "We make it look like a robbery, gone wrong...?" 

"Possibly," Said Castiel.. rubbing his temple "We need to think about this, really think about it. Each of us comes up with an idea, and see what we come up with"

"Flash mob," Says Dean smiling 

Castiel looks at him, eyebrow raised... "Excuse me?"

"Flash mob!" Says Dean grinning "We hire a bunch of people to do a flash mob.. one of us 'bumps' into Robert, injects him with crushed peanut solution and moves away" 

"Dean... " Castiel shakes his head, trying not to smile "I have literally no response to that" 

Dean laughs. Its one of those full-body laughs where he folds over on himself.. Castiel smiles at him fondly, still shaking his head. 

"Crushed peanut solution.." Says Bela rolling her eyes "What if.. you still take him Castiel.. you pretend you're keeping him for his money, he pays you.. so you feed him, something with peanuts in. He dies, we take him home and dump him in a chair, with a wrapper for something that 'may contain nuts'."

"Enough," Castiel says "We need to go away, take some time and think... My heads hurting. I'm not ruling anything out... well, flash mob.." He says with a look to Dean "But I can't think right now. I have work in the morning and so do you"

"I don't think my boss would fire me," Says Dean lip curling in a half smile, "I think he kinda fancies me" 

"Maybe he would punish you in other ways," Says Castiel meeting Dean's eyes, Dean shutting up instantly.

Bela stands up "And that.. would be my cue to leave. Goodnight boys, see you tomorrow.." She looks around before adding "And please Febreze the place before I get here" 

***

The door closes behind Bela, and Castiel gives Dean.. the head tilt, eyes narrowed arms folded over his chest, look. 

Dean smiles at him "Honestly... I think I was on to something with the flash mob.." 

"Bedroom, now" Castiel watches Dean push himself up from the couch and start walking to the stairs "Dean... "

"Yeah?" Dean turns back to look at Castiel "Take off your pants" 

Dean smiles pulling off his pants "I thought you wanted me in the bedroom?" 

"And your boxers," Says Castiel not answering Dean, Dean pulls his boxers off. 

"Now, bedroom.. crawl" The wicked grin that spreads over Castiel's face, stretching the length of the room and reaching Dean's cock and filling it with excitement. Dean bends down, crawling across the living room floor towards the stairs, giving Castiel the greatest view of his ass, wiggling from side to side as he reaches the stairs and begins to ascend. 


	34. Boldly Going Where He Has Never Been Before

Castiel reaches the bedroom, a thrill taking over him as he finds Dean waiting for him, still on all fours. 

"You may stand," He says looking quickly over the scar where Dean was stabbed, OK.. yes he wanted to see Dean's ass... He has grown rather fond of the sight of Dean.. naked. But he asked him to crawl to test how his wound was healing, without Dean knowing that he was being tested.. he was impressed that Dean was healing so quickly. "No pain?" He asks

Dean frowns "I'm fine" 

"Good, take your shirt off" Dean obeys. Castiel looks at him, Deans been so good for him, he wanted to give him something back. He walks up to Dean, close to his face looking from one eye to the other.. kissing his lips softly as he leans into him "I want to take care of you" 

"Really Cas, I'm fine," Says Dean trying to chase Castiel's lips as they pull away from him.

"No" Smiles Castiel "I am not talking about your knife wound Dean" He meets Dean's eyes, that sly little smirk playing on his mouth as he slides himself down Dean's body, tongue poking out of his mouth to trace a wet line from Dean's throat to his belly button, circling it once before continuing his descent, the touch making Dean's eyes close, and his body quake slightly. 

Castiel was getting better and better at teasing, his confidence regarding sex had been growing with each passing day, he rolled his tongue in circles over the beautiful V line that leads down to Dean's hard cock. 

"Get on the bed," He says standing up again, and unbuttoning his shirt, pulling it from his wonderfully muscular arms. 

Tingling from anticipation Dean climbs on to the bed, heavy cock swinging between his legs "How do you want me?" He asks looking back to see Castiel throwing his shirt on to a chair. Castiel smiles at him

"How do you want me?" Castiel counters "Do you want my hand, my mouth.. or my cock.." 

Dean stares at him for a few seconds, wondering if he means what he thinks he means. He licks his lips before saying "I want your hand..." Castiel tilts his head, that was not the answer he was expecting, but then Dean continues "Then.. your mouth.. and then.. if you're sure.. your cock"

"Greedy," Says Castiel secretly pleased

"I want all of you," Says Dean smiling 

"Lay on your back" Dean follows the instruction as Castiel takes his pants off. Then he climbs up the bed towards Dean, lying down to the side of him, held up by one arm. "Close your eyes" Castiel watched as Dean's eyes closed.. then he began to trail a finger over Deans face, starting just under his hairline, travelling down over his nose, over his lips, lingering there for a moment as Dean pressed a kiss on to the tip of his finger, then continuing down over his chin, Castiel shifting as his finger trailed further, down over Dean's neck, gliding over his chest.. passing over Dean's belly button down.. wrapping his hand gently around Deans hard erection, stroking his man as he lowered his face to Deans and kissed along his jawline.. before reaching his lips and pressing a firmer kiss on to them, parting them effortlessly with his tongue and meeting Dean's, to deepen the kiss... Still stroking his cock in his hand.. lifting himself up so he had a more comfortable angle to kiss Dean from... 

"Dean" Castiel whispered against his lips. Dean opened his eyes to look in Castiel's "Can you tell how much I want you?"

Dean smiled, raising his head to meet Castiel again in another delicious kiss. Castiel moved back.. he shifted down the bed, carefully passing over Deans cock.. settling between Deans legs.. and kissing again over Deans thighs up to his cock, kissing the tip... 

"I love the way you taste," Castiel tells Dean, before lowering his mouth back on to Dean's cock. 

Dean could feel every twist of Castiel's tongue over him, the warmth and wetness of it, and it was fucking incredible how good Castiel had got at blowing him, he had only done it a handful of times.. but each and every time seemed better than the last... Maybe it was to do with how Castiel was getting more comfortable with sex, maybe it was to do with just how deeply Dean was falling for him... Like he needed Castiel to breathe. Like he needed him.. to just survive... 

Castiel was sucking and swirling his tongue over Dean, head bobbing up and down on him, in a steady slow motion. 

"Mmm Cas..." Dean pressed his head back into the pillow, lifting his hips up "Jesus.. fuck" 

Castiel's hand wraps around the base of Dean's dick as he works the head under his tongue and strokes up and down with his hand... 

"Cas.. fuck... Please. I wanna feel you" Dean panted "Please... Please Cas"

Castiel pulled up off Dean "Good lord Dean, your begging is embarrassing - stop talking" His voice is low, commanding. He lowers himself back on to Dean.. sucking in his cock, his free hand coming between Dean's legs to massage his balls. In truth - Dean begging was probably the hottest thing on the planet. But Castiel was very aware of where this was heading, his nerves were starting to make him delay... He was going to have sex, with Dean, in a matter of minutes, he wanted it, but he was.. scared. He wanted so badly to make it good for Dean...

Dean flinched as Castiel's hand that had been massaging his balls slipped down to his ass... 

Dean looked up "Er... Cas.."

Castiel looked up at Dean, questioningly. 

"Lube?" 

Castiel nodded backing up off the bed. Opening the little drawer of his dresser, grabbing the little lube bottle and turning back to Dean, he didn't want Dean to see he was nervous, he wanted to seem confident, in control. 'I am in control' He thought, calming himself. 

"On all fours Dean" Dean obeyed and Castiel walked back over to the bed, losing his boxers on the way... Squeezing a fair amount of lube on to his hand and spreading it over his fingers... He'd seen - rather a lot of porn, 'research' for this moment, in some the men just seemed to plow right in, in others.. they stretch their partners open so it doesn't hurt... Castiel had been planning on stretching Dean... But as he looked at him, eager, on all fours for him, his beautiful ass sticking up - waiting... A little dark twisted thought crossed his mind... A temptation to hurt Dean... Just a little, in a good way.. he rubbed his lubed fingers over his own cock, getting it slick. 

"Now.. I am going to fuck you... I'm going to guide the tip of my cock, right up to your hole. Slowly, this is my first time - so I want to feel everything... I want to feel you on me. That is why I want to fuck you without stretching you... With your permission" 

Deans head turned around to look at Castiel, his face dead set, serious. Dean's eyes flickered down to Castiel's thick cock... This would hurt, he'd be sore... But then... Who cared. Dean met Castiel's eyes... "I am yours"

Castiel smiled at Dean "Yes you are. You are mine" He said climbing up behind Dean "And I love you"  

Castiel suddenly grabbed and held Dean's arms behind his back.. pushing his hardened cock against his ass as Dean's face fell onto the sheets... "Keep your arms still Dean" 

Castiel's hips pushing Dean further and further into the mattress. All thoughts are gone as Castiel lines up and pushes the head of his cock past the rim and into Dean. 

Dean pulling in air through his clenched teeth in a hiss, mind focused completely on the burning feeling, the deepness, the pushing in, the pulling out. Castiel stayed at a forceful but steady pace for a while, feeling his way into Dean with relish on each and every thrust... 

He pauses, one hand holds Dean's hands on his back, the other clutching at Dean's hip... With a glance down, he can see his cock disappearing inside Dean... Owning that ass, completely... 

"You are mine.." He breathed out "And you are utterly incredible Dean.." Before starting a brutally paced thrusting into Dean... He smacked his ass cheek.. watching the skin gleam pink... 

Dean groaned "Fuckkkkk Cas.." 

Castiel had found himself, his true self with Dean... This was him in his element, in control, in Dean... Fucking loving every second of it. He was getting sweaty, the lion within him roaring as he fucked into Dean, he was the fucking best thing that had ever happened to Castiel.. and he knew he wanted to keep Dean forever... Let Dean love him like this.. Give everything to Dean that Dean had given to him. Everything he had, everything he is. 

He smacked Deans cheek again.. Dean grunting and clutching the bed sheets as though holding on for his life.. face being repeatedly pushed into the mattress. Until Castiel cried out as he came... Filling Dean with his come... Panting breathlessly... He hadn't even realized that Dean had already come under himself... He spotted the mess there as he pulled out of Dean carefully and he rolled over, cheeks pink and lips red from where Dean had been biting down on them... 

"You are perfect Dean Winchester," Castiel said softly as he crawled up his body to plant a soft kiss on him "Perfect"


	35. What I Need..

Castiel and Dean had laid together for a while, until their breathing had evened out, just lying next to each in a comfortable silence... Dean could feel a slight soreness but he was so happy he ignored it, looking over to Castiel. 

"Are you ok?" He asked softly, leaning up on his arm to see Castiel's face

"Are you?" Castiel asked, "I didn't hurt you did I?"

"I'm a little sore" Confessed Dean before adding "But it was totally worth it"

Castiel stroked a finger over Dean's cheek as he looked at him "You're sure?"

"Of course, it was amazing Cas... It was you and me" Dean looked at him "Are you, Ok?" 

Castiel turned to face the ceiling "I had sex" 

"Yeah..." 

"I've never done that before" Castiel face was unreadable.

"I know.," Dean said wishing Castiel would answer his question 

"It was..." Castiel paused thoughtfully "It was.." He turned to face Dean, his eyes were warm "I enjoyed it a great deal and I would be very agreeable to doing that with you again"

Dean relaxed "You scared me for a minute then" He laughed

"I apologize, I just don't think that words really do it justice.." Castiel turned to look back at Dean "I feel like I .. I can't lose you. Like, I need you. It worry's me.."

Dean frowned "What worry's you?" 

"That you could leave.." Confessed Castiel "Before.. with us, it was just the worry that you knew too much, and if you left... You could tell anyone, about me... What I do.."

"I would never do that Cas," Dean said seriously "No matter what"

"I know.. I don't worry about that anymore. I trust you with my secret Dean, it is 'our' secret now anyway... But now... I am trusting you with my heart, it is so much more intense than I had expected... I feel like if someone tried to hurt you... I would.. bury them. Literally. But if you left... I don't know what I would do... I could never hurt you Dean" Castiel paused "It scares me, how much I need you. I never needed anyone like this before, not even Ellen" 

Dean sat up, taking one of Castiel's hands in his own he squeezed it "I told you already Cas... I am yours. I don't want to leave... Don't you think I'm scared? This is all new to you, what if you meet someone else who is better than me? What if you get bored of me... I feel it as deeply as you do... I would never hurt you, I wouldn't ever want to leave... You are it for me. You are my person, remember?" 

Castiel smiled looking at Dean "You are my person too" 

"I want whatever you want, I want you to be happy, I want us to.. work, always. You just keep telling me what you want, what you need... I will always do my best to get it for you. To be what you need" 

"I know you would Dean, you already are, exactly.. what I need" 

Dean smiled and curled into Castiel's chest almost cat like "Then you have nothing to worry about" 

 ***

The next day... 

 

Bella eyed Castiel with a slight smile on her face "So .. you want .. what exactly?" 

"I need your advice... It needs to be, somewhere fun, but not too crowded... And Dean must not know..." 

"I see..." She sipped her coffee thinking "How about Mikey's Bar? There's an open mic night there every Thursday, so it's less busy than on a Friday or Saturday night"

"Whats the address..?" 

"Want me to take you down there now? So you can check it out.. See if it suits you?" 

Castiel nodded and he and Bela finished their drinks before going out of the little cafe. 

Under fifteen minutes later, they were stood outside Mikey's Bar... Which was shut.

Castiel frowned at Bela "It's closed"

"It's a bar, they don't open at this time in the morning, but you can have a look in through the window.. See what you think, plus you know where it is now..."

Castiel frowned at the grubby window and pulled a clean tissue from his pocket, wiping a section of the window before resting his hand against it and looking through under the shadow on his hand... He turned back to Bela... 

"They have a piano," He said smiling slightly 

"Thought you'd like that... So? Good enough?" 

"This will be suitable, thank you, Bela"

Bela nodded "You're welcome, I hope your plan goes smoothly" 

"The point of the planning is to eliminate the need for hope, but I thank you anyway" 

"What are you planning on wearing?" Asked Bella looking at Castiel's suit

Castiel looked down at himself. "Is this is not appropriate?"

Bella made a face "You were planning on wearing your work suit?" She checked her watch, sighing "Come on.. I am taking you shopping"

Castiel made a face - resembling something between panic and confusion... But Bella had already grabbed his arm and was pulling him away from Mikey's Bar towards the high streets. 

"I am going to full on 'pretty woman' you," Said Bela seeming amused

"I beg your pardon?" Asked Castiel bewildered. 

"Trust me.." Bella smiled "You're going to look great"

***

Standing on a thick rug Castiel stared into the full-length mirror with a slight frown on his face as Bella fussed about him, holding different color tops up, varying degrees of wore looking jeans, a leather jacket here a sporty looking jacket there.. until she had picked out what she deemed the winning outfit... 

She stood back admiring her choices... Before nodding "Yup, go try these on" 

"In public changing rooms? You're not serious?" 

Rolling her eyes Bela laughed "Come on, it won't kill you" 

Castiel took the clothing Bela was holding out, took a deep breath and walked into the changing rooms. He cringed at how tiny the room was, trying to not picture other men leaning midway through outfit changes against the walls... No doubt there were countless invisible ass prints along the wall, shuddering slightly at the thought he banished it from his mind and got changed quickly... As he walked out of the changing room he saw Bela talking to a sales assistant, both women turned as Castiel approached... 

"Damn.." Muttered Bela looking at Castiel

"I'll say.." The sales assistant agreed 

Castiel couldn't help it, he smiled. Normally he drew as little attention to himself as possible but he felt oddly flattered by this attention... He just hoped Dean would like his outfit, it was Dean after all that Castiel was getting dressed up for... 

"Ok.." He said looking at himself in the mirror "I'll take it" 

 


	36. The Night Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I could not ask for more - song link. 
> 
> Edwin McCain-I Could Not Ask For More
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yGuy6mcxI0&index=8&list=PL0qr36yM7mz7kgspK7oSXweeHnGj3W0-M

"Get dressed" Castiel is stood over Dean, who is laying in Castiel's bathtub, completely covered in bubbles.

Dean makes a face, which is especially comical given his bubble beard "But I'm comfy"   

"You sound like a child," Says Castiel holding back a smirk "Seriously, get out and get dressed. Or no sex for you"

Dean pulls an overly fake hurt face and stands up.. Castiel pauses to watch some bubbly water travel down Dean's skin.. drip off the end of Dean's flaccid dick. He swallows before turning away... He can't get distracted now, however enticing the site of a freshly bathed and naked Dean may be. Tonight is important.

Dean washes his hair and washes himself down with the shower head. He grabs a towel and drys off as much as he can while still standing in the draining tub. Castiel may love Dean, but he is not past shouting at him for dripping bathwater all over the place. And Dean doesn't even want to think about what would happen if he left a wet towel on the floor, he smirks to himself.. Castiel is basically a male, murderous version of Monica Geller from friends. Dean wonders if that makes him Chandler. It occurs to him, Chandler was awesomely funny and he'd be alright with it... Remembering a particularly funny episode... Dean decides to 'do a Chandler' wrapping one towel around his waist and another around his head... He climbed out of the tub and walked into Castiel's bedroom, trying to hold a straight face...

Castiel didn't look up at first, he was to busy routing through a bag. But when he did, he tilted his head to the side... A small part of him wanted to grumble at Dean for dirtying two towels needlessly, another part of him wanted to rush forward and strip Dean of both towels... He settled on something in between. A curious head tilt and raised an eyebrow...

"Why?" He asked

Dean laughed "You haven't watched friends?"

"I .. May have seen some episodes - they repeat often"

Dean shakes his head "We need to sort this lack of movie and show's education out at some point.."

"Hmm. Well, not tonight. We are going out - Get dressed"

Dean frowned "Where are we going?"

"I'm assured - somewhere fun," Says Castiel simply passing Dean on his way to the bathroom, as he passed Dean held up an arm to stop him.

"I can think of plenty of fun things we could do right here.." He voice was husky and Castiel very nearly abandoned his plans in favor of taking Dean right then and there.

"Later.." He said pulling the towel from Dean's head and whipping his bum with it, before walking away to the bathroom with the towel and the bag. Castiel shook out the towel over the bathtub and then hung it over the heated towel rack, neatly. He was nervous. Despite all his planning for tonight, he was well aware that this was him jumping out of his comfort zone.

He changed into the outfit that Bella had helped him pick out dumping his dirty clothes into the laundry basket, brushed his teeth, fixed his hair and picking up the now empty bag, walked to the bathroom door and opened it, taking a deep breath. 

He was greeted by the wonderful site of Dean's bare ass disappearing into a pair of boxers. Dean turned to look at Castiel... He blinked taking in Castiel's outfit. 

"Wow. You look great" He said 

Pleased Castiel smiled "Thank you, Bela helped me pick these out"

Dean raised and lowered his head, in a slow nod. Thinking. Internally panicking, Bela had taken Cas shopping for clothes.. they were going out? They never go out. And this was also the first time Dean had offered himself up to Cas.. and Cas had said no - not to mention, Dean thinks... He literally just got out of the bath, fresh and ready to go. Castiel was usually all over Dean the second he stepped out of a quick shower, but here he was after a decent wallow.. and nothing... Now Cas was wearing.. not usual Cas style clothes and he looked good. Really fucking good.. and Dean was trying to not freak the fuck out.

Castiel looked at Dean "Something wrong?" 

"No" Said Dean snapping out of his thoughts and back to the present "Nothing."

"Good, can you please get dressed" 

Dean nodded and bent down to pull his jeans over his feet one by one and pulled them up. He fastened them in place as he heard the door knock downstairs. 

"She's early" Grumbled Castiel as he left the bedroom, with Dean still pulling on a t-shirt behind him. 

Dean was stood at the top of the stairs watching as Castiel opened the door and let Bela in "You're early" He told her

"Nice to see you too," She said before looking up and seeing Dean, she smiled "Ready for your night off?" 

"What?" Asked Dean 

"You've not told him?" 

Castiel rolled his eyes at Bela "No"

Dean stomped bitterly downstairs, feeling very left out and wondering why the hell Bela was here. 

"What you doing here?" He asked trying to keep his voice polite

"I'm your designated driver for the evening" Bela responds smiling at Dean's confusion "I'll wait in the car" She turns and walks back out. Dean turns to Castiel. 

"What's going on?" 

"Exactly what Bela said. We are taking the night off" Said Castiel simply as if that explained everything. 

A bewildered Dean sat in the back of Bela's car, Castiel slipping in next to him and they were off. To where? Dean had no idea... 

"Mikey's Bar," Said Bela pulling up around the corner from the bar. 

Dean smiled "I use to come here all the time, this is where we're going?" 

Castiel looked at Dean "It is, I take it you liked this bar?"

"Yeah" Said Dean unbuckling and getting out of the car. 

Open Mic Night was in full swing when they enter the bar, Bela disappearing as Dean and Castiel made their way to the bar. Castiel turned to Dean.

"Drink?" He asked, making Dean frown at him "I told you, we are taking a night off, no. You may not smoke. But you can have a drink with me. This.." Castiel paused "This is my attempt at a date" 

"A date?" Asked Dean 

"We have been together a while, and it occurred to me... I have never taken you on a real date" 

"But Bela's here.." Said Dean, regretting his choice of things to react to first. 

"Neither of us have drunk, really... for a long time. I asked Bela along to make sure we remained in control of our secrets and to drive us home" Said Castiel lowering his voice "I thought a bar would be most comfortable for you. If you would rather.." 

"No.. I'm sorry, this is great. Just unexpected" Said Dean taking hold of Castiel's hand and giving it a squeeze "Really, this is great. Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like a dick" 

Castiel nods "So.. drink?" 

Dean smiled "Sure, I'll have whatever you're having"

"Two rum and cokes and a lemonade," Castiel said to the bartender who'd been waiting "Thank you" 

Drinks ordered and paid for Castiel turned to see Bela walking over, Dean did not miss her wink at Castiel and suddenly felt out of the loop again. His momentary buzz at being on an actual date with Cas, vanishing again. Something was still going on, something more than what he knew about.

They collected their drinks and found a table. 

Castiel turned to Bela "We're good?" He asked as Dean stared at the table refusing to look up at them

"Yup" She grinned "Five, ten minutes-ish"

Dean stood up, Castiel and Bela looked up at him. 

"Where are you going?" Asked Castiel 

"Bathroom, if that's alright by you?" 

"Of course, please don't be long though Dean" 

"Whatever" Said Dean quietly walking away from them. Some fucking date, he thought. Bela tagging along and now timed toilet breaks. Dean went to the men's room, had a wee and washed his hands. Looking in the mirror, before leaving the toilets and walking back towards the table where Castiel and Bela had been sat, only .. Cas was no longer there... Dean frowned at Bela. 

"Where is he?" He asked almost angrily 

Bela smiled, which really pissed Dean off until she pointed to somewhere behind Dean and he turned to see Castiel sat at the piano with a microphone stand in front of him. He switches the mic on and looks over at the table as Dean slumps back down into his seat amazed. Castiel smiles. 

"I'd like to dedicate this song to someone, someone very special to me..." Castiel looks at the table where Dean and Bella are sat and meets Dean's eye. The pool of worry in Dean's stomach settles... Cas means him. He isn't losing him, this is all for Dean. Dean gives Cas the warmest smile and relaxes back into his seat... 

As Castiel begins to play and sing a slowed down deep version Edwin McCain-I Could Not Ask For More. 

"Lying here with you   
Listening to the rain   
Smiling just to see the smile upon your face   
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive   
These are the moments I'll remember all my life   
I found all I've waited for   
And I could not ask for more   
Looking in your eyes   
Seeing all I need..."

Castiel's voice is surprisingly smooth, each note is perfect and he keeps glancing back to Dean whilst playing. Bella is watching Dean also, smiling at his eyes which are starting to mist over as he stares at Castiel. 

"Dean?" Asked a gruff voice from behind him, he turned back round to look at who had spoken

Dean pulled a face "Benny?" He laughed standing up and gripping Benny's arm in friendly greeting "Sit down, I just want to listen to this, gimme a min" Dean knew it was rude, but Castiel was singing.. to him. Nothing was going to distract him from that for long. 

"Who is that?" Askes Benny sitting down next to Dean

"That," Says Dean proudly "Is my boyfriend, Castiel" 

"Wait. Castiel... Whose aunt you set me up with?" Asked Benny looking around "Is Ellen here?" 

Dean turned to Benny, he looked hopeful "No, she... She died" 

"Oh," Said Benny sinking back into the chair "Shit. Sorry"

"I should have called you... I didn't think. I'm sorry. This is Bela" Said Dean realizing he hadn't introduced them "She knew Ellen too" 

"Benny," Said Benny smiling at Bela, who smiled back. 

"Hey there," She says warmly.

Benny nodded at her, before turning back to Dean and lowering his voice "Should I go? If that's the guy, whose aunt you set me up with... Is he going to be alright with seeing me?" 

Dean turned to look at Benny "Are you kidding? She told us, she had a really great time with you. He'll probably thank you... Although if he catches you whispering in my ear, he may kill us both" Laughs Dean

Benny moves back straight away, smiling softly "Ok then" 

Dean continues watching Cas play as Benny and Bela talk quietly behind him, about how they knew Ellen. 

Castiel takes to Benny the moment he realizes Benny is not hitting on Dean and is just a friend. They drink together and Bela eventually drives them all home. Dropping Castiel and Dean off first, at Castiel's house and then driving away to take Benny home. 

"Think Bela is into Benny?" Askes Dean amused

"He is a nice guy, I'm glad you set him and Ellen up. Maybe that's part of why Bela is interested. Maybe Ellen told her about how nice Benny was to her.." 

"Yeah... Maybe" Says Dean taking his shoes off and leaving them on the matt by the front door. 

"Dean... I have something very important to ask you, I know I have mentioned this before but I wanted to ask you - officially" Dean turns to look at Castiel who looks, slightly nervous, he doubts that after tonight there is anything he would deny Castiel but he just waits, patiently for Castiel to speak. "I took you out tonight to show you... How it could be. We could go out - like other couples, we could do 'normal' things. I have been thinking about finishing the list. Ellen's list. And what comes after it. I don't want to worry about one or both of us getting locked up for the rest of our lives. I have been thinking about 'retiring' - with you after the list is completed. And moving away, I would want you to come with me, live with me... But for now, I would like you to move in with me here... Officially." 

Dean blinked at Castiel, throat dry... He took a deep breath before answering... "Live with you? Here?" Dean laughed "Cas, I'd move in with you if you lived in a cardboard box... Of course, I will... Are you sure? That's a big step"

"I am certain" Said Castiel stepping closer to Dean, holding out a shiny house key "I love you" 


	37. The Calm

Lying in bed next to Dean, listening to his light breathing, Castiel allowed his mind to wander. Dean would be moving in with him, he was excited to think he would be sleeping next to this man every night, waking with him every morning. He was nervous too, of course. Dean was trying, all the time to please Castiel and he worried that he may get tired of having to do things 'Castiel's way'. He realized that maybe, with some things at least - he could make more effort to meet Dean halfway. He was nervous about the change, a lot seemed to be changing recently and he was doing everything he could to keep his head above it all... 

He was doing everything he could to change himself into someone more deserving of Dean, taking him out on a real date had been a little scary. Castiel doesn't socialize and getting up and singing was actually his way of not having to talk to other people - but at the same time sending Dean a very public love letter. Castiel smiled at the memory of Dean's face watching him as he sung if he could get Dean to look at him like that every day... He'd die a happy man. It still scared him, how strong his feelings had become for Dean. And whilst Dean assured him almost daily he felt the same way... Castiel still watched for signs that, that may no longer be true. He wasn't sure how he would handle it now if Dean left him.

He tilts his head up to look over at his sleeping... _Boyfriend,_ he watches his chest rise and fall softly as he sleeps. He hadn't slept next to anyone like this before, he finds he likes it. Dean is warm next to him, he can smell him, hold him... It is a comfort to Castiel to know, he is right there... His mind takes him to thinking of other things they do in this bed. His smile deepens. He thinks of the first time Dean kissed him... How shocked, and angry he had been at first. Now he worry's when they go too long without some form of touch... He rolls to the side slightly, facing Dean. His warm hand rising from under the blanket. Gently he presses down on Dean's cheek and turns his face carefully toward him, without waking him. He looks at Dean, really takes him in. His long dark shashes, his lightly freckled nose, his hair, his lips... He spends a long time gazing at Deans lips, he finds himself half hoping Dean can feel the weight of his stare and will wake so that he might taste those lips again. 

Conflicted, he wants to let Dean sleep but he also _wants_ Dean, he sighs. He closes his eyes and leans his head slowly forward his lips press ever so gently against Dean's and he kisses them soft, his eyes snapping open when the lips move into a grin before returning the kiss. 

"You're awake?" Castiel whispers 

"I am now" Dean smiles without opening his eyes

"I'm sorry that I woke you"  

"It's OK," Dean says quietly before an arm comes down and over Castiel pulling him in closer to Dean "I could feel you looking at me, everything alright?" He asks still in no louder a tone than a whisper, still with his eyes closed. Sleepy. 

"In this moment? Everything is perfect" Says Castiel still looking up into Dean's face, he sees Dean's smile return and he feels a kiss pressed to his forehead. 

"Cas?" 

"Hmm?" 

"I can feel you against my leg" Dean chuckles softly. Castiel tries to pull away in surprise but Dean holds him firmly to him "Shhh... Stay still" 

Eyes flickering open now, Dean looks at Castiel. A hand snakes between them and finds Castiel's cock, pressing up against his boxers as Dean moves his face closer to Cas' again and kisses him slow, he feels his way into Castiel's boxers and fists his cock. It's all very slow and lazy, but it's perfect. Castiel moves a hand to Deans front and mirrors what he is doing and the two jerk each other whilst kissing. It becomes breathy and warm, but still relaxed, the perfect show of comfortable affection. Ruined only slightly when they have to go to the bathroom to clean themselves up after. 

"We need wipes," Said Dean as they got back into bed "A bin next to the bed and wipes" He laughs "For next time" 

Castiel agrees, keeping to himself the momentary thought of how 'icky' that would be, it had subsided to quickly to how amazing it would have been if they had had them this time and were able to have just wiped themselves and cuddled up and gone back to sleep. 

Dean fluffed up his pillow before lying down next to Cas again, eyes open fully now. He looked at him. 

"Are you OK?" 

"Yes" 

"Do you still want me to move in?" 

"Yes" 

"Okay," Dean smiled closing his eyes again "I just like hearing it" He said by way of an explanation. 

Castiel watched Dean fall asleep again, he curled his own hand around Dean's, closed his eyes and drifted off peacefully. 

 

***

 

"You and Dean are close?" Bela askes 

"Yeah, how about you?"

"I've not known him very long, I think he may still think I am interested in Castiel. Or Castiel thinks I am interested in Dean..." She pauses thoughtfully "Or both" 

Benny chuckles "Dean can be jealous, I remember when he thought his girlfriend Amara was cheating on him, this was a few years ago now. He tried to deny it, that he was jealous. Tried to deny it right up to the point where he beat up her friend Nick, who turned out to be gay and rumor has it he actually had a thing for Dean... But he was friends with Amara so he admitted to her that he liked Dean and they started hanging out without Dean because it was less awkward for Nick I guess. Anyway, Dean just saw it as her hanging out with some other guy and he wasn't allowed to be there... "

"Ahhh" Bela sighed "That's why he was weird about me being there tonight then" 

Benny shrugged "Why were you there? Just out of curiosity, wasn't that meant to be like a date for them?"

Bela doesn't skip a beat, saying as though she'd memorized it "Castiel and Dean don't really drink... usually, like at all, and Castiel is funny about taxi's like he would have got one, if he'd needed to but he has a thing about germs and probably would have bathed in bleach once they were home. He knows my car is clean, he knows I wasn't drinking... He just doesn't trust things he doesn't know"

"You mean like a taxi driver? Yeah, I can understand that. There isn't really any way of checking what they have been up to before picking you up" 

Bela smiled, pleased that Benny got it "Exactly, he asked me to chauffeur for them and I said yes" 

Benny looked up and out of the window as Bela pulled up outside his house "This is me" He said before turning back to her "Thanks for the lift"

"No problem" Smiled Bela sweetly

Benny seemed to want to say something else, but then changed his mind and finally decided on "Maybe I will see you again sometime?"

Bela smiled "I'll make sure of it" 

Benny got out of the car and smiled to Bela giving her a little wave as she pulled away. 


	38. My Little Lady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Non Con Trigger Warning

Robert Talbot walked through the door into his home, just home from work. Bela heard the door close, she quickly pulled on a hoodie and sweatpants over her leggings. She looked in the mirror, messed up her hair slightly and sighed, attempting to make herself look ugly, frumpy. She opened her bedroom door and slowly descended the stairs.

Her father looked up "Bela" He smiled "My little lady. How was school?"

"Fine," She said

"Any homework?" He asked

Thinking she quickly responded "Yes sir"

He looked at her "Have you started it?"

"Yes"

"Good, take a break for now. Come and help me make dinner" He said before walking into the kitchen and setting his jacket down over a chair.

Bela followed him into the kitchen, not meeting his eye. Trying to make herself as small as possible. She began peeling potatoes as her father got himself a beer from the fridge. He walked behind her, his hand grazing over her behind as he passed, she flinched.

"Something wrong, darling?" He said as he drained half his can of beer

"No, sir." She said

"Hmph," He pulled her towards him as he sat on a kitchen chair "Are you sure Bel?" He asked as one hand gripped her arm and another stroked her hair from her face. She was shaking in his grip.

"I'm... I'm sure"

He pulled her on to his lap "Ah Bel, it's alright. Daddy's here... Daddy's got you. No man could ever love you the way I do... My beautiful little lady" Bela froze as her father pressed a rough kiss to her lips

"Ple... Please, don't"

"Shhh, It's alright Bela. It's alright" One of his hands dropped to her knee, slowly moving over it "You know I love you right?"

"Yes." She said trying not to cry

"Good. Daddy will always love you" His hand slid up her leg...

***

Bela woke with a start. She was shivering, her eyes watered as she rubbed her hands over her face.

"Just a dream" She soothed herself "Just a dream"

Taking a deep breath, she got out of bed and walked to her bathroom. Her eyes met her pale reflection in the mirror, she steadied her focus. Looking determined into the mirror "I'm coming for you, you sick fuck"

She splashed cold water on her face and dried it on a towel. Soon, she hoped, soon the nightmares would stop and she would be free. Free of him. She thought of Ellen, her heart ached. How was it fair that someone like Ellen, gets cancer and someone like her father is now walking around, free. She missed Ellen. She checked her alarm clock as she wandered back into her bedroom, it was too early to get up yet. She climbed back into bed, pulled the sheets up over her and grabbed her book from the bedside table. Fearful of re-entering her dream if she closed her eyes.

***

Dean shifts the mask over his face slightly, flicking through papers that all turn out to be football game odds and horse racing slips. He checks everyone. No mention of a win on these. He opens a desk drawer, his gloved hands picking out more papers and rubbish... Under them however it a small cash safe. He tries to open it. No luck, he looks around for a key, he doesn't find it. But then he notices, resting again a picture frame of a man and woman on their wedding day... A passport. He smiles to himself. Putting everything on the desk back the way it was and closing the drawer. He approaches the shelf, with the passport on it. Reaches up and picks up the passport. Flicking to the back page, he see's a picture of a man. Robert Tenner. 

"Changing your name isn't going to help you now" He mutters to himself, snatching the passport, and pocketing it then carefully climbing back out the window. He closes the window carefully and treads as lightly as he can over the grass. He climbs over the back fence and pulls his mask off and his jacket, which is reversible, black on one side, light grey on the other. He pulls a lighter from his pocket and sets fire to the mask, dropping into the pre-dug out hole. He waits for it to burn right down. Some of the most nerve-racking minutes of his life. Then kicks the dirt back into the hole. Setting off through the trees behind Robert Talbot's house to the road on the other side. He waits, no traffic. He crosses the road and gets on to the bicycle Castiel is holding up for him. The ruse being - if anyone should have seen anything. That Dean had disappeared into the trees for a wee. 

Glancing around him before speaking Castiel asks "Any trouble?" 

"Nope" 

"Did you find it?" 

"I sure did" 

"Well done" He smiled "Let's go" 

*** 

Carefully and quietly locking the bikes back into one of Castiel's nearby neighbours shed, they were currently holidaying and Cas and Dean had both worn gloves to ride, so they would never even know that the bikes had been borrowed, Dean replaces the catch and mutters about them really needing to invest in a better lock before turning to Castiel. 

"Here" He hands him the passport 

"Good work, come on now we just have to wait for Bela to come round and we can go from there" 

"Yeah," Says Dean walking alongside Castiel as they reach his front door. Castiel unlocks the door and starts to remove his shoes as Dean asks "Where was she tonight anyway?"

Castiel straightens up and turns to Dean "On a date with Benjamin" 

Dean laughs and bends down to untie his trainers "Yeah right, really where was she?"

Castiel goes noticeably still and tilts his head at Dean "On a date with Benjamin" He repeats 

Dean stops untying his lace, which seems to have knotted "You're joking?" He says looking up at Castiel 

Castiel frowns "No"

Dean takes a deep breath "You got Benny involved in this?" He asks, his tone was rough, not one that Castiel had heard before. 

"He was a perfect alibi, a date in a very public place," He said calmly 

Dean nods, but he is clearly not agreeing "He is not an alibi - He is my friend. And you didn't tell me this earlier because..." 

"You didn't ask" 

"Bullshit Cas" Dean snapped "You knew I wouldn't like it. So you went ahead and did it without telling me. Which is basically as bad as a lie" 

"It is in no way a lie" Said Castiel firmly, "You asked, I told you the truth" 

Dean's blood was boiling, Benny had been his friend for years, helped him after Sam... "Answer me this Castiel" At the use of his full name in that tone, Castiel's skin prickled "Did you really think, that I would be OK with this?" 

"So Benjamin is good enough to take my aunt on a date but not Bela? Or is it Bela that is not good enough for him?" 

Dean wouldn't be drawn into this, he waved his hands in front of him "Bela and Benny - and it is BENNY... If they wanna fuck around or date or whatever - FINE. You know full well I'm not talking about that! I am talking about the fact that you have used my friend, you've involved him in..." He lowered his voice, aware the door was still open behind him "in our work"

"She doesn't know that we went tonight. Neither of them knows anything about what we have been up to tonight" 

Dean looks down at his feet seeming to calm, momentarily "So... It was your idea" Dean looks deeply sadden as he looks up to meet Castiel's eyes "I can not believe that you've done this Cas. Seriously I do anything and everything you ask - But Benny is a good man. I have told you before he is a good man and you know he is my friend! He is off limits. He was good to me, he was good to Ellen, and you've made him a part of something that..." Frustration takes over and Dean throws his hands up in the air "You should know; if anything happens to Benny... Because of this. I will throw us all under the bus. I won't let him take any heat for any of this" 

He turns back out of the door, not wanting to see the shocked expression on Castiel's face. 

"Dean?" Castiel calls after him "Where are you going?" 

"I've got one week left at my flat, might as well make use of it. Just going to stop at the shop on the way back, for some beer... and maybe some cigarettes. Could really use a smoke about now" The venom in Dean's words made Castiel almost choke "See you tomorrow Cas, try not to implicate any nuns in your wrong doings while I'm out, alright?" 

"Dean!" Shouted Castiel, but it was cut short as Dean slammed his car door closed and pulled out of the driveway. He drove to the nearby late shop and bought cigarettes and beer. He was furious with Castiel, he felt betrayed, Benny was a good guy, he didn't deserve being roped into this. Before Dean had met Castiel, it was Benny he was closest too. It was Benny who had gone to Sam's funeral with him and it was Benny who'd talked him off the ledge when he'd drunk himself stupid after the funeral and told him he couldn't live without his brother. 

Slamming his flat door closed behind him. He took out the packet of cigarettes from the bag... Ripped open the pack and sniffed it, was he really going to do this? He grabbed the lighter from the bag and put a cigarette between his lips, lighting the lighter and holding the flame to the end of it. He breathed in, once... Then - angry with himself he stubbed the cigarette out on the surface of the table and sat glaring at it. 

"Fuck" He muttered


	39. I Want You

Dean paced his crappy flat, feeling pent up. He was furious and it suddenly hit him.. What he needed.

He picked up the cigarette packet and burnt out fag on the table, he walked to the kitchen, threw the packet into the sink, along with the one he'd lit and turned the water on. He cupped his hand under the tap and swilled some water into his mouth before spitting it out and turning the tap off, staring down at the destroyed cigarettes. Then he walked - stomped angrily back out of his flat and drove back to Castiel's.

He slammed the door to his car and walked up the drive to Castiel's front door, he didn't knock. He just opened it, Castiel was sat on his couch, on the edge - looking frayed.

"You're... Back?" He asked uncertainly

"Shut up" Said Dean as he walked over to him, Castiel rose silently "I need you to swear to me, right now Cas... You won't ever pull any shit like this again?"

"I swear Dean. You are right... I'm sorry I"

Dean grabbed him roughly "You swear it? Right?"

"I swear" Said Castiel

"Good" Dean crashed his lips against Castiel's, forcefully pushing him backward and into a wall. "I need you"

"I know, I need you too, Dean, I am sorry." Said Castiel as he caught his breath.

"No" Said Dean pulling back and looking at Castiel "I NEED YOU"

Castiel nodded, and then Dean was just... On him. Pulling at his clothes and tongue fucking his mouth, gasping and breaking away to say things like "You can't do shit like that" and "You make me crazy". Before laying into him again, biting at him and sucking at his neck. And Castiel had gone from a frantic mess to rock hard. Grabbing back at Dean and tugging his t-shirt over his head frantically.

"I swear Dean, I swear." He said as his tongue swiped over Dean's.

Dean was topless and pulling on Castiel's shirt, a couple of buttons flew off it and skated across the floor. His fingers dug in under the fabric and he hoisted Castiel up and rested him against his own waist and the wall. His tongue diving back into Castiel's welcoming mouth. He growled as his hands ripped off that shirt like it offended his eyes. He needed Castiel naked... Like ten minutes ago. His hips were rolling up against Cas seemingly with a mind of their own. He shifted slightly and pulled his mouth free to grapple with Castiel's belt.. slipping it free from the man's pants. He held it in his hand for a moment - looking at it, before his eyes flicked up to Castiel's.

Practically panting he licked his lips "Cas... I want.. "

"What?" Asked Castiel "Whatever you need Dean"

"I need you!" He said, "Can I..."

Castiel had stiffened with understanding, he considered then swallowed "Yes"

Dean licked his lips, he needed it, he needed some control back "I'm going to fuck you so hard Cas" He said. "So... be sure?"

Something twisted white-hot inside Castiel as he stared at Dean "I'm sure"

"Bedroom, lube" Said Dean allowing Castiel to drop to the floor. Castiel moved as soon as Dean released him, almost tripping over himself as he moved towards the stairs.

Dean following close behind him, his heart hammering in his chest. He was unzipping his pants as he reached the top of the stairs and they fell to his ankles and he kicked them away... Castiel was stood by his bed watching Dean as he continued to undress. Dean crossed the room and grabbed the lube. He kicked off his shoes, pulled down his boxers and tugged off his socks with impressive speed, perching on the end of the bed he squeezed the lube into his hand and began stroking himself as Castiel finally joined him on the bed.

"Finger yourself open Cas," He said throwing the bottle of lube to his lover "And hurry up" Dean's voice was all authority as he stared at Castiel with a hunger in his eyes that made Castiel's insides squirm.

Castiel lay back on the bed, taking a deep breath. He squirted some of the lube on to two fingers...

"Three," Said Dean sharply "I wanna fuck you hard, But I don't wanna rip you open"

Castiel obeyed adding a little extra lube and rubbing it on a third finger and began pressing one inside himself, the angle was awkward but he managed it, eventually adding a second and third finger and stretching himself open for Dean... Dean who had crawled up on to the bed on his knees and was still stroking himself as he watched Castiel, licking his tongue out over his lips.

"Enough," He said suddenly and dropped on to all fours over Castiel, surprising him by lowering his mouth over Castiel's bulging cock and dropping his head right down on it until his nose hit softly against Castiel's skin. He sucked. Licked. Nibbed. He tongued at Castiel's dick like it was a melting ice cream. Tasting every inch of it... Hands holding Castiel's hips down as he began to squirm under Dean. Moaning unabashedly. Dean came up off Castiel's cock with a wet pop. Licking across the slit before rising back up on to his knees. He grabbed at Castiel's waist and roughly lifted and dragged him back, so his ass was resting on Dean's knees.

Dean came up from his lust storm long enough to give Cas a look and ask "Sure?"

"Fuck me, Dean." Said Castiel, now needing it himself.

Dean's eyes twinkled and he looked back down to where his cock was poking against Castiel's hole. His hands still holding his legs up high, so hard he didn't need to hold his cock to guide it in, he just slowly pushed forward. He wanted to slam in, but he knew this was Castiel's first time, and as much as he wanted to go rough, he had to allow him to stretch, he didn't want to hurt him.

Gently his head popped inside of Castiel and his eyes shut, teeth biting his lip a muffled sound in his throat. Dean continued moving deeper, slowly... Until his entire length was buried inside Castiel... He let out a breath he had been holding and lingered there for a moment, reveling in it. He was fucking Castiel... He slowly began to swing his hips back and forth... Listening to every noise Castiel was making, listening out for a groan that sounded more pained than pleasure. It didn't come, so he picked up speed.

"Wanted your ass for so long Cas" He ground out as he found a steady deep rhythm

Castiel opened his eyes, seeing Dean above him, taking him. Feeling his huge cock filling him up then sliding out, before filling him again... He was dizzy with it. Lust and fire. His hands fisting into the sheets beside him...

"Ohhh Fuck Dean" He swore

"Yeah?" Asked Dean breathy "Like it?"

"Yes"

"Like me burying my dick in you Cas?"

"Yes" Panted Castiel "Yes I like it Dean"

"Going to come from me fucking you Cas?"

"Uggghh Fuck" Castiel's whole body was jerking up and down the bed now. Dean had ditched the dirty talk in favor of increasing his force and pace. Slamming harder and harder into Castiel with every thrust.

"Shit. Shit. Fuck" Castiel was gasping out a string of profanities between deep gasping breaths as Dean fucked him.

Dean was sweat-damp and his skin was warm to the touch, but he continued to rock into Castiel like his life depended on it.

Dean pulled out grabbing the lube with one hand and Castiel's arm with the other "Turn over" 

Castiel turned over, his head dizzies his mouth dry but complaining didn't even cross his mind, he just wanted to come. He wanted Dean to come. He wanted it. 

Dean squirted more lube on his cock and pushed back down and into Castiel... gripping his wrists and biting his lip as he pushed further into Castiel and allowed the tightness to hug around his cock, Castiel felt amazing, but Dean knew he would... It was Cas. 

Dean was wild, and undignified in his grunting, but the sounds were like music to Castiel, he'd heard Dean moan before - but this was somehow different, more urgent. 

Castiel felt that now familiar swelling in his groin "Dean... Dean... Fuck, I'm coming. I'm coming" 

Castiel clenched around Dean as he came underneath himself. Dean following almost instantly, feeling the slight tightening... 

"Fuckk" Growled out Dean as he pressed one last time, deep into Cas, filling him with his come. "Fuck Cas" He breathed heavily for a moment, feeling his heartbeat race.

He rolled to the side and off Castiel and they both lay there panting, glancing at one another every few seconds as they came back to earth. 

Dean lifted his head and turned to Cas "You OK?" 

"Yes," He sighed heavily "Although, I don't think I can move yet..." 

Dean laughed 

"I'm lying in my own come here, Dean!" Said Castiel seriously 

"I know" Laughed Dean "Want me to clean you up?" Dean rose from the bed and walked away to the bathroom grabbing a flannel and rinsing it out under the warm tap before walking back to Castiel and wiping away his own come, which was now running down Cas' beautiful ass and then he told him to turn over, and wiped his front, all around his cock and balls. 

"Going to go get us a drink of water, stay here. I haven't decided if I am finished with you yet" Dean winked at Castiel as he left the bedroom and walked down the stairs naked to the kitchen, opening the fridge and grabbing two bottles of water. He was headed back to the stairs as there was a knock on the door. 

"You've got to be fucking kidding me" He grumbled walking to the front door, he called out loud "Who is it?" 

"It's the police. Open up"   
  
Dean had frozen for a split second before he realized he knew that voice "Very fucking funny Bela" 

He heard a laugh on the other side of the door "Let me in Dean" 

"Yeah... No" Said Dean. He heard a grumble on the other side of the door before the door handle started to turn and he reached out to grab it... Too late, the door flew open and there stood Bela, eyebrows disappearing as she takes the sight of Dean, completely naked... 

"Well, well, well... " She smirked at him. 

Dean rolled his eyes "Shut the fucking door, Bela, we'll be down in a min" Said Dean turning and taking the stairs back up to Castiel's room two at a time... Bela's head tilting and following his movements...


	40. Closing The Door On The Devil

After Dean and Castiel had cleaned themselves off properly and gotten dressed, they came down and joined Bela in Castiel's living room. 

"We got his fake passport," Said Castiel looking fondly at Dean "Well... Dean got it. It seems he was planning on running" 

Bela nodded "So at least he can't go anywhere. I'm guessing he will try and get a new fake passport made when he discovers this one is missing" She traces her thumb over the tiny picture of her father's face, digging her nail into it and leaving a dent in his face. 

Castiel nodded, watching her for a moment before speaking "So we have to take him ideally, within the next forty-eight hours. I will try today. You two will do as we discussed, get yourselves seen. Go shopping, pay on your cards, create a trail. Stay in the public eye. I will get him, drug him and leave him tied, from there Dean and I will switch, Dean, you drive to your flat, don't speed, be seen by a neighbor if possible. Then leave using your buildings fire escape when it is dark, leave a light and your television on in your flat. We want to make it look as though you stayed in all night. When we switch, do not speak to me, do not move when I move, Robert should not be aware there is more than one of us, just in case... I will go shopping, at the twenty-four-hour place, for groceries - nothing questionable. Then I will return home, unpack and then borrowing a bike from our neighbors again I will come out to meet you" he turned to Bela "Then we will wait for you. Communications must not contain names or locations" 

***

Twenty Four Hours Later...

"How did you get him?" Asked Bela quietly

"Don't ask" Said Castiel glaring at Dean, who looked away with a blush "Let's just say, corners were cut, but he is here now and all yours" Castiel nodded to the door, behind which, waited Bela's revenge... 

Bela stepped into the dark, dank room. The smell of sweat and piss filled her nose. Good. He is scared. She thinks to herself. She walks around the tense man, he is blindfolded, gagged and tied to a chair, she smiles, having waited for this moment for years... 

She walks around him, she knows he can hear her footsteps as she moves because his head turns in her direction, she places her 'tools' on the tiny metal table. Her hands are gloved, her hair tied in a bun with a hair net over it, her shoes have covers on them.

She takes a moment to take in the helpless sight of her father before stepping in front of him and pulling down the blindfold "Hello father" 

Robert Talbots eyes widen, he blinks a couple of times, he makes a muffled attempt to speak behind his gag, but Bela ignores him, picking up a hammer and nail from the table "Those ropes look awfully tight Dad, maybe I can take them off for you" 

Her eyes flash dangerously as she rests a nail on the left hand of her father "You use to pull my hair with this hand... You use to hold me down..." She says with distaste "Never again" She brings the hammer crashing down on the nail, ignoring the frightened squeal from her father, the nail cuts through his skin, through bone... right into the wooden chair armrest "There" She says soothingly "That's better isn't it?" Her father is crying, making horrible gulping sounds and shaking, she brings the hammer up to his face - right in front of his eyes "Stop moving, it'll all be over soon, that's what you use to say to me? Isn't it?" Robert eyes the hammer with fear, he stops shaking as best he can and nods, a word that sounds like 'sorry' gets lost in the material gag in his mouth. 

Bela picks up the second nail, positioning it over her father's right hand "You use to grip my neck with this hand... tear at my clothes... You use to... Well, you remember, don't you daddy?" She glared into her father's eyes "DON'T YOU?" He quickly nods, panicking and terrified.

"Good," She said "Then you know exactly why this is happening to you" She snarls at him as she brings down the hammer on top of the second nail, splitting his hand open as it cuts through him and into the chair. She looks thoughtfully at his hands, still tied down and now nailed to the chair... "You know I've changed my mind... I think I will leave the ropes on you... Truthfully - I just wanted to know what it felt like to nail you" She looked into his eyes with hatred "Must run in the family" 

She placed the hammer back on the table and picked up the two curved blades, not letting her father see what she had in her hands now, she moved on... 

"It seems unfair, doesn't it? I mean you're here, unable to defend yourself, with me leering down at you. Not knowing if you're going to suffer more, not knowing if you're going to make it out alive, isn't a shame that it's your own flesh and blood doing this to you? Your own family... This  _father_ is exactly how I felt, scared, hopeless and in pain...You were meant to keep me safe, you were meant to be there for me. But you were only ever there for yourself - and that's exactly how you saw me, wasn't it? As something there for you, you used me, you hit me, you... you raped me. And you made me believe it was my fault" Bela's words came out laced with venom as she bore down on the man who made her childhood a living hell "You are not a man, you're the devil" Bela stepped up closer to her father and whispered in his ear "The difference is, this is not 'our little secret' I have friends, a new family you might say, helping me to close the door on the past"

Bela stood behind her father, she watched his shoulders shake, she watched the tiny beads of sweat trickle down the side of his face showing his nerves, his fear. She listened with closed eyes to the sound of his quick panting breaths. This was it, this was her moment, she drew up the two curved blades, her arms stretched out to the sides, making her seem like a phantom hovering above her pray, she turned the blades inwards... 

"May you burn in hell!" She said with wet eyes and gritted teeth. Robert let out a whimper of fear but it was cut short by two blades piercing through his temple and plunging deep into the sides of his head. She closed her eyes, a tear of relief fell on to her cheek as she let go of the blades, leaving them buried in her father's skull. The upward curve of the handles giving off a striking resemblance to devil horns, it had been the reason she had picked them. 


	41. Rough And Tumble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very sorry about the gap in updating this, I have had a block on it for a while... However... I think, maybe... this chapter make help you to forgive me for that ;-) Enjoy...

Celebrating a successful 'job' was new to Castiel, but this wasn't any old job and after they had cleaned up and held Bela while she had sobbed with relief she had thanked them repeatedly and then had insisted on a night out to celebrate. She had finally buried her demons, she was free... 

"The man that made my childhood hell, is dead. You can take a night off from your no drinking, no fun rule's and come and have a drink with me" Dean looked at Castiel, waiting to see his reaction, surprised when Castiel agreed. 

"We will come for a drink with you Bela, but just to be clear... not drinking is not the same as not having fun" He looks at Dean, eyebrow-raising ever so slightly and Dean feels like a teenage girl when a blush spreads across his cheeks. 

Bela shakes her head "Geez get a room you two"

Dean and Castiel break the hot and heavy eye contact and turn to face Bela.

She rolls her eyes "Just meet me at Mikey's Bar tomorrow at eight" 

***

The Next Night...

"So you and Benny?" Said Dean eyeing Bela

She smiled "Is this where you give me the 'if I hurt him you'll hunt me down' speech?" 

"No" Said Dean "I just wanted to tell you that he is a really good guy, one of the best in fact... So I don't want him being used... as an alibi or anything else" 

"He is a good guy" Agreed Bela, she looked at Dean "Listen I know this is weird for you, he is your friend, I get it but I really do like him. Please don't think I am just messing around with him, I'm not using him, it isn't like that, well not for me at least. I guess I don't really know how he feels, it's not like we've had that talk yet"

"So it's serious then?" Asked Dean taken back "Or... could be?"

"I don't know if I want to use that word, it's more than fooling around - but I'm by no means looking at wedding venues" Bela chuckled to herself "I like him, I think he likes me, I want to see where this might go and I have no intention of hurting him" 

"Alright, good," Said Dean relaxing "He's here," He said looking behind Bela toward the door,  at where Benny was now moving through the people toward them. He reached the table at the same time as Castiel came back from the bar with the drinks... 

*** 

With Benny and the crowd around them, they couldn't talk about Bela's father, not that there was anything to say, really. The man was dead. Bela was free of the monster who haunted her nightmares, she was seeing Benny. She had Dean and Castiel, her new friends... Life was going well... 

She and Benny were sat talking about Ellen as Castiel and Dean went back to the bar to get more drinks.  

"Is it weird for you? That I went out on a date with Ellen?" Asks Benny looking at Bela

"Is it weird if I say no? I've been through some pretty rough patches in the past and it was Ellen that got me through them, knowing that she liked you... actually helps. I know this sounds weird and I can't explain it properly yet, I will one day... If we get there... But for now, I'd rather just keep things as they are, if you're ok with that?"

"I know what you mean, I liked Ellen, she was good fun and didn't seem to stand for any shit, the fact you and she were friends, tells me good things about you, even without that... I like you, Bela, I'm not going to pressure you into telling me anything your not ready to..."

Bela smiled "Thank you" 

*** 

The night went on, for the most part without a hitch, there was an awkward moment when Benny jokingly punched Dean where his stab wound had healed only recently and Castiel had looked ready to chop Benny into little pieces and feed him to wild dogs, but Dean had put his hand on Castiel's knee and shook his head. At the end of the night, Benny not knowing how close he had come to seriously pissing off a serial killer had taken Bela home in a taxi... 

Castiel and Dean had drunkenly decided it would be a good idea to walk home from Mikey's Bar... 

It's late and dark and they are stumbling down the street giggling at each other and occasionally breaking into song... 

Castiel comes to an abrupt halt, looking about him... He frowns dramatically "Dean?"

"MmmHmm?" Responds Dean swaying on the spot slightly  

"Where are we? I can't find our home?" He laughs, shaking his head "I think we are lost" 

"You can call me home," Says Dean resting his head briefly on Castiel's shoulder

"You are," Says Castiel pulling up Dean's face gently to look into his eyes "You are my home" 

Dean smiles, it's cheeky and Castiel can already feel Dean's fingers working his zip down on his jeans. 

"Dean!" Chuckles Castiel "We're in the middle of the street" 

"So?" Says Dean pouting dramatically, "I want you... Now" 

***

Castiel manages to get Dean to a nearby field, Dean groping him and giggling the entire way...

Dean and Castiel kiss like their lives depend on it, each with roaming hands, eventually Dean pulls away, getting ineloquently down to his knees and pulling Castiel's pants down past his ass... He grips his swollen cock and strokes it a couple of times before lowering his mouth over it... 

"Arrgh fuck" Sighs out Castiel as Dean rolls his moist tongue over Cas' dick 

Dean slurps over Castiel's dick, it's a sloppy drunk blow job but Castiel is enjoying it, so Dean doesn't care if it's not his best... He feels Cas' hands come up to his face and he looks up at him.

"Can I be rough with you Dean?" Castiel asks as he looks down at Dean's face which rests in his hands...

Dean already has tears in his eyes but he nods, unable to answer, what with Castiel's fat throbbing cock filling his mouth... He will give Castiel whatever he wants... He will himself to him entirely...

Castiel smiles at him "Take a deep breath now then..." With one hand he wipes some of the dribble from Dean's chin "I'm going to fuck your face so good now, Dean"

Dean takes a deep breath in through his nose and as Castiel's fingers grip into his short hair, he closes his eyes... The throbbing cock that he has his tongue pressed against slides back out of his mouth to the tip, which he sucks down on greedily. Then it's moving in again, picking up pace steadily. 

Dean can feel the hard ground beneath his knees, he can feel his own erection swelling in his pants at the breathy noises Castiel is making and he can feel his mouth streched wide around Castiel's shaft...

Castiel starts rocking his hips back and forth, his hands are still gripping Dean's hair keeping his head still as his cock slides in and out of his mouth, wet with saliva it moves smoothly between Dean's plump pink lips. Dean's mouth is making little suction noises every now and then as he tries to keep up with the fast pace Castiel has set, as he fucks his mouth.

It's erotic and raw, the fact that they are outside in public, the fact they could get caught, the noises Castiel is making above him, the low groans and the seedy moans, the way his cock tastes against Dean's tongue... Dean's hands go to his own pants, unzipping them, his cock is screaming at him for attention and he can't ignore it anymore. He fumbles as he pulls his pants and boxers down over his bum, he needs friction, something... He grips his own cock in his hand and starts jerking it harshly as Castiel's dick hits the back of his throat making him gag slightly...

"Fuck Dean, so hot..." Grunts out Castiel as he looks down

Suddenly Castiel stops and Dean opens his eyes to see why... Glad to be able to catch his breath for a moment but disappointed he didn't get to taste Castiel's come. Castiel, however, is gripping him under his arm and pulling him up, to his feet. His eyes are wild with lust, he'd seen Dean touching himself, he'd realized he had exposed his ass and he wanted it... He pulls Dean up in front of him... his mouth goes to his throat for a split second leaving a tormentingly arousing half bite, half kiss before pulling away. He spins Dean roughly around and walks him forward with his hips pressing up on his ass, it's awkward with his pants still around his ankles but he manages to get Dean against the fence, it gives him something to hold on to. Castiel brings up a hand to his mouth, he spits into it and smoothers it over his aching desperate cock... It's all quick and needy as he bends Dean over further with a firm push on the back of his neck and he pushes his way into him with a loud sigh that Dean can feel warm against his back where Castiel's hand is now pushing his shirt up slightly. Castiel feels impossibly big, it makes Dean gasp out loud. Castiel begins fucking him, fast and hard against the fence. They are both panting and groaning, Dean gripping the fence so hard with one hand his knuckles turn white... His other hand is fisting around his cock...

Castiel shifts to wrap his arms under Dean, his chest pressed against Dean's bare back as his shirt is rucked up over his neck and shoulders, Castiel's arms snake under Dean's armpits and curl around him, so that he is holding on to his shoulders giving himself leverage to pound into Dean's ass, whilst holding Dean in place.

Dean's body has practically gone limp under him, utterly fucking ravaged - in the very best of ways. He isn't on earth anymore, he is in 'fucking heaven'. Castiel is reaching sweet spots inside him he never even knew he had, his whole body is on fire, trembling with pure sex. It's wild, it's animal, it's brutal, it's bound to hurt tomorrow, it's by far the best sex either of them have ever had, the alcohol had freed them enough to be this feral with each other, no embarrassment just bliss... hot and sweaty bliss...

"Jesus fuck," Says Castiel as his hips snap forwards burying his cock deep within Dean "Shit,"

"Oh, God... Castiel..." Dean choked out moan sounds raw on his fucked throat and it sends Castiel hurtling to his climax, within another push forward and gripping on to Dean roughly, he fills him with his come... Castiel can feel Dean's legs shaking in front of him as he slows his thrusting hips to get every last drop of his come into Dean... He reaches around his front... Intending to help him finish, but finding Dean's hand is already slick with his own release.

Two Minutes Later... 

"Er. Cas?" Dean groans

"Yes, Dean?" Says Castiel fastening his jeans as he turns back around frowning at Dean's bare ass. Dean hadn't moved, still holding on to the fence, pants still pooled up at his feet... "What are you doing Dean?" 

Dean laughs "My legs aren't working..." 

Castiel shakes his head, laughing too... "Dean... " He laughs "Come on..." He tries to pry Dean's hand from the fence but Dean is laughing and gripping on to it "Dean???" Castiel's face is red, his eyes are watering slightly... He isn't even sure what's so funny... It just is... 

"Stop yanking at me..." Gasps Dean between bursts of laughter "I'm gonna fall over"  

Castiel stops yanking at Dean's arms and hands, and instead crouches down behind him, still sniggering. He pulls Dean's boxers up covering his ass and then tries to heave his pants up too... But he is to 'fuck' tired and still drunk, so instead of pulling the pants up, he manages to rip the back pocket of the left-hand side and an almighty tearing sound fills the air... 

Castiel falls to his knees, doubled over with laughter. As Dean looks behind him chuckling

"What the fuck was that? Ahh, fuck it" Dean lowers himself on to the grass next to Castiel and tugs his, now holey, pants up. They spend the next ten minutes trying to calm down, but when one of them looks like they are about to stop laughing the other sets them off again... 

Dean rolls over on the grass to face Castiel, he smiles, his cheeks are still pink and warm from laughing as he says "I love you"

Castiel smiles "It's so much more than just that... Like..." He sighs, turning back to look up at the sky "You're everything, my best friend, my boyfriend, my partner in crime" Cas flashes a wink at Dean here "My family... My entire world. I don't think I have ever laughed this much before... ever"

Dean leans forward throwing an arm and leg over Castiel and cuddling into him, before repeating a single word with a soft hum "Hmm family" 


	42. Identity

Dean squeezes Castiel's hand as they walk up to the great black metal gate, Bela just behind them. They enter the cemetery together and walk in silence to Ellen's grave. It had been Bela's idea, now that they had dealt with her father, she wanted to see Ellen's grave... 

Dean can feel Castiel stiffen slightly as they reach his aunts grave and wonders if maybe he should have offered to come here with Castiel earlier, Castiel had been a couple of times, by himself, only telling Dean after he'd been. Which Dean had taken as meaning he had wanted some time alone. Now he wondered if he should have offered to accompany Castiel if he ever wanted him there. He looked down at the gravestone... 

Ellen's final resting place... Ellen, who'd done so much for him, she'd handed him the life he had now, with such trust and he loved his life now, he loved Castiel, he wondered if his and Cas' relationship would shock Ellen, probably, but he thinks she would approve. He loves helping Cas out at the veterinary clinic, he loves living with him, he likes that he gets to see Benny, he even considers Bela a friend now too, someone he knows he could count on.  He likes Castiel teaching him new pieces on the piano, he likes their morning runs, he's in the best shape of his life since he quit smoking... And he gets to have regular mind-blowing sex with his boyfriend... All thanks to Ellen taking a chance on him... He smiles sadly down at the gravestone, sending a silent thanks to her. 

Bela takes in a deep breath as they approached the black headstone, the gold engraved lettering making her breath catch. Ellen had been there for her since she was a little girl, Ellen had pulled her from her father's clutches and shown her how to be strong. Ellen had helped and guided her throughout her life... And even after she'd died, she'd sent Bela to Castiel and Dean, giving her more help and support and friends... 

Bela had finally had her revenge over her father's actions, none of that would have been possible without Ellen... She owed her so much, she sighed and a tear rolled down her face as she felt her heartache from missing Ellen so much... She wished she could see her again, talk to her, tell her about Robert Talbots downfall... 

Castiel felt that familiar pain in his heart as he stood looking down at the flowers he'd placed on his aunts grave, he hoped wherever she was now, she was at peace with no pain... His aunt had been his rock, his entire life and now that she was gone, he seemed to be the one that people looked to for answers, Bela... Dean. 

He wished he could talk to Ellen about him and Dean...It had been difficult to be truly free with Dean in the beginning... He'd felt guilty for being happy when his aunt had only just died... After the Robert Talbot job, however, something had changed and he'd laughed... Really laughed. Because of Dean. Dean filled holes inside Castiel he wasn't even aware of, Dean brought him back from the edge, calmed him, gave him reason after reason to laugh and love and live... Dean. He was utterly lost on Dean Winchester... and it was both wonderful and terrifying... 

*** 

The radio was playing in the car as Castiel drove them away from the cemetery, two men discussing the biggest stories in the current news... 

_"Yes, well... we know his body was discovered yesterday morning, the police haven't confirmed that is was the work of this 'List Killer' but by the sounds of it... This Robert Talbot had served time for pedophilia so it could be"_

_The second man added "Or it could be a copy-cat killer"_

_The first man spoke again "It could be... I know there has been some online support for what the 'List Killer' does... It's difficult, for me... Murder is murder and it's wrong... But then you think about the kids that the 'List Killers' targets have abused... and a tiny part of you cheers that they are gone..."_

_"Oh, I am absolutely in favor of getting these monsters off the street... But like you say, it's murder. Why doesn't this 'List Killer' whoever he is"_

_"Or she..."_

_"Whoever he or she is... hand these criminals into the police?"_

_"Well Robert Talbot had served his time... I guess the question is, how comfortable would you feel raising a family on the same street as someone like that?"_

_"That's true and that's all we have time for right now folks, but text us or tweet us with your opinions, what do you think about the 'list killer'?"_

Dean, Castiel and Bela exchange looks. Castiel had pulled over to listen and the three of them sat in stunned silence at what they had just heard... 

"They found his body" Said Bela finally 

Two Months In The Future...

He struggled against the cuffs, clenching his jaw and staring directly ahead as the man knelt down beside him, mouth close to his ear... "I know who you are" The man whispered harshly into his ear "You're the list killer"

He tilted his face to the side to glare into the eyes of Paul Richards, who narrowed his own eyes back at him, before hissing out his name... "Dean Winchester,"


	43. Just One More Question

"You have the right to an attorney during questioning if you so desire"

"I don't need one" 

"Just so you are aware, this is being filmed and recorded... Please state your name clearly for the record" 

"Bela Talbot" 

***

The reporter stands up, states the paper they write for and asks their question... "If elected... how do you plan to tackle the rise in crime?"

Paul Richards smiles, nodding along as he listens to the question "Two ways, firstly in aiming to prevent more people turning to crime, by getting more of our young people involved in the community, if our young people are busy they aren't committing crimes, giving them ways to better themselves is crucial to begin steering them away from this crime cycle, we want to open several youth centres for under eighteens and we also want to open a volunteer center for over eighteen's, where they can come and gain valuable work experience by volunteering. And secondly, harsher punishments for repeat offenders... We want them to know, this is not ok and we are done playing nice. Crime doesn't pay" 

There was a murmuring of approval before another reporter stood up "Just one more question Mr. Richards?" 

"Of course," 

"What are your thoughts on the 'List Killer'?" 

Paul Richards narrowed his eyes "The 'List Killer' is the worst kind of criminal, not only is the manner in which they take their victims lives highly disturbing but the fact that he or she feels justified in doing so... Whoever the list killer is, they are a murderer and I will not rest until they are hunted down and brought to justice"

Castiel switches the television off... He turns to Dean "Of course he wants to find me... He knows he could be a target... It seems we are now hunting each other" 

Dean frowned... "But... he isn't just worried about his life, I mean obviously that's the main thing... But he won't want to be exposed either and if it goes public that the 'list killer' made an attempt on his life... He'd be investigated... Found out... I'm not convinced he'd hand you over to the police if he got hold of you Cas..."

"Neither am I" 

***

It's been about two hours, Bela stares across the table at the police officer, her face is set, she breaths steadily, keeping calm under pressure is all part of the job, they can't have anything on her or they would have arrested her already, she'd known there was a chance she would get questioned, everything is fine... She has answered everything as calmly as she could, she allowed herself to get emotional when they talked about her and her father's past relationship because that's how an innocent person would react... 

She takes a drink from her coffee as the officer asks her yet again if she'd had any contact with her father recently... She knew they were repeating deliberately, trying to catch her out... 

"As I have said, I haven't seen my father in years and no, I'm not sorry he's dead. He made my childhood a living nightmare" 

"And you claim you were home alone, all night?"

"Yes," Says Bela calmly, she pushes out the images, of her father shaking and scared before her, from her mind, and thinks of her home... Willing herself to believe that's where she was. 

"Do you know anyone who would want to hurt your father?" Asks the officer 

"I already told you, I haven't seen him for years, I don't know anything about him. I don't want to know... As far as I am concerned I have no father"

The officer nods, looking down at the papers in front of them and then back up to Bela "I think we are done here" Bela and the officer stand up at the same time "Thank you for coming in Miss Talbot, as this is an ongoing investigation, I have to ask you not to leave New York, you're not planning any vacations any time soon are you?"

"No," Said Bela "I'm not going anywhere" 

Bela left the police station, heart pounding, she tried not to walk too quickly. She ignored the fear of someone running after her and stopping her, she turned the corner of the street and crossed the road to the car park. Climbing into her car and driving home. 

Once she'd closed and locked her front door, she dropped her poker face, tears spilled down her face. She tried to shake off her nerves, whipping her hands back and forth in front of her. She walked down her hallway to the kitchen and filled her a glass with cold water, taking a sip to ease her dry throat... 

"It's fine, it's fine, you're fine" She whispers to herself, wishing she could go to Castiel's and see him and Dean. But they had decided they should stay away from each other for a week or so while the case was so hot. Which left Bela alone in her fear...  

*** 

"Do you think she'll be alright?" Asked Dean breaking the silence that had been heavy in the air. He'd been watching Castiel pace after turning off the television in front of him for the last three minutes stopping every so often to glance at the clock.  

Castiel turned to look at Dean "Yes" 

"Are you alright?" Asks Dean gently

Castiel scratched the nail of his thumb over his top lip, was he alright? No, not even a little bit, with Bela taken in for questioning and Paul Richards giving the 'List Killer' spotlight attention from the police, he was tense... "We knew Bela might get questioned, we went through with her how to handle it, what to say, how to act... We prepared her in every way we could think of..."

"But?" 

"But I didn't think about how I would handle it... Any kill, every kill I have been a part of, I have always had the control, this situation right now is difficult... We can't be there for Bela, we can't ask her how it went, we can't do anything... I have no control over what she says or does... Our freedom, our lives are completely dependant on her right now... and whilst I do trust that she will do her best... that she will get out of there without arousing suspicion... The feeling of being helpless is... unpleasant" 

Dean sat up and pushed himself off the couch, he walked over to Castiel and lowered himself to his knees in front of him, holding his arms up so that his palms faced the ceiling and his wrists were touching, he looked up to see Castiel looking down at him... 

"You still have control of me," Said Dean quietly as Castiel raised a hand to touch his cheek lightly "If you want me to help you relax?" 

Castiel looked down at Dean, on his knees in front of him... Arms out, waiting to be tied... He smiled "I will always want you Dean" 


	44. Divided City

Dean leaned into Castiel's touch, his eyes closing slowly. 

"You want me to control you, Dean?" Asks Casitel 

"Yes," 

Castiel tilts his head "Why?" 

Dean blinks up at him surprised, "What... What do you mean?"

"Why do you want that?" 

"Because you like it... and I like it... I... I guess growing up, I always was the one in control, with Sam, looking after him, making sure he was fed, did his homework and stuff like that... It... Well, you know it didn't end well... I like that you take control, I want you to have it... I like that you, er... look after me" 

Castiel smiled sadly "You hardly ever talk about Sam..." He notices a blush working its way up from Dean's neck and presses on "Sorry Dean... I just wanted to make sure you actually enjoy it too... I like making you mine, I just don't ever want to go too far, you know you can always tell me if I do... You can tell me anything... Nothing you say could possibly change how I feel about you now..." 

Dean's blush reached his cheeks as he looked up at Castiel "Well, you can be sure... I like it Cas" 

"Good," Castiel's hand retracted from Dean's cheek and he held it out towards Dean, lifting him from the ground as he took it... "Come with me," Said Castiel as he leads Dean to the stairs and up to their bedroom... 

***

Bela curled the dial under her fingers, turning the volume up on her kitchen radio... 

_"Well, you have to think about... who this person is... I mean it's only ever people with a history of sexual abuse towards minors. It's a very specific target... You have to assume that something happened to this person as a kid... Someone hurt them, they grew up and began to take it out on all the pedophiles they could find... There has been such a response to this, it seems to have New York City divided... The thing I keep thinking about is... some people, who've been abused as kids, grow up and go on to do that themselves, hurting other children, if it was a choice... Between this 'list killer' hurting innocent kids... or as some people have put it 'taking out the trash...' well, I know where my vote would be... New caller, you are on the air... What do you make of all this?"_

_"I think this guy is great, I feel like not only is he getting rid of the ones out there now... But he's got to be putting others off... I know it's sick, they shouldn't have those... urges... but maybe with this guy around to scare them... they will go to the doctors rather than the playground... Get help, not killed..."_

_"So you're saying that the list killer, may even be helping... people with these desires to seek help to deal with them... That's an interesting idea. Thank you for calling. Next caller, you are on the air..." Says the radio host._

_"I don't know about this 'list killer'... Like how do they know for sure everytime that they kill someone, that they have in fact done... that... How are they getting information that seemingly the police don't either have... or act on? What happens if they get it wrong... I say the police and the justice system need to get their heads out of their arses and deal with these pedos walking free... Also... This list killer just leaves the body behind... What if a kid found it? Do they not think finding a bloody corpse would screw with a kids mental health?"_

_"That's another good point... Where is this person getting there information from? How do they seem to know things that should really only be known by the police?"_

_"Maybe it is a cop?"_

_"Maybe... Interesting idea... Gives us all something to think about. Thank you for calling in... Now we go back to the music with some Queen"_

Bela turned the radio back down again, thinking... They were circling the truth, to closely... someone who was hurt in the past, could be a cop... or know a cop... or knew - in Castiel and her case...  

***

Castiel and Dean reach their room and Castiel stands Dean in front of their bed, then he sits down on the edge of it, looking at Dean like he is deciding what to order... 

Finally, he speaks... "Take off your clothes" 

Dean's eyes light up and he obeys without question, removing his t-shirt, pulling his socks off one by one, unbuckling his belt and letting his jeans drop to the ground, then he swipes his boxers down and picks up his clothing, throwing it to the side of the room against the wall... 

Castiel's still sat on the bed, watching Dean, who is now stood in front of him, completely naked and sporting a semi... "Close your eyes. Hands behind your back" Dean obeys, closing his eyes... He hears Castiel get up from the bed, he hears what he thinks is Castiel taking his top off and then he feels the material wrap around his wrists... 

Then he shivers as he feels Castiel's breath on his neck as he whispers to him... "No hands..." 

Dean sighs as Castiel's tongue makes contact with his neck... Castiel licks and sucks at Dean's neck, pressing gently with his teeth for a moment before the contact is lost. Dean keeps his eyes closed, but he can feel Castiel walk around to his front, right in front of him... his breath ghosting over Dean's bare chest... 

Dean can't see what's happening, so Castiel tells him... "I've closed my eyes, Dean, I have my hands behind my back... and I am going to find you... explore you... make you come... using only my tongue and mouth..."  

Dean's breath catches as Castiel's tongue finds his skin again... Castiel licks and kisses over his collarbone, working his sinfully skilled mouth down to Dean's nipple and tweaking it gently between his teeth, hearing that gasp of arousal from Dean and loving the taste of him under his tongue... 

With his eyes closed, the only thing in the world to Dean right now... is that explosion of nerves where Castiel's tongue is gliding over his skin... 

Before Castiel even reaches Dean's cock, Dean's entire body is trembling... Castiel lowers himself carefully to his knees and when he blindly goes searching for Dean's dick with his mouth, he chuckles as his face bumps against it... 

Breathing out a quiet "Found you" Before lowering his mouth over the now fully hard head and shaft... 

Dean moans quietly above him... "Fuckkk"  


	45. The Things We Miss

The day after Bela's questioning... 

"It's the first time I've really missed smoking" Confessed Dean as he and Castiel got ready for work that morning "The waiting... Not knowing..." 

"Do you still have the lemon spray?" Asked Castiel looking at him as he tied his tie. 

"No, I'm not _going_ to smoke... I haven't needed that for a while, it's just this kinda... waiting, worrying is where I would have smoked before..."

"Do you resent that I made you stop?" 

Dean shakes his head "No," He makes sure he holds Castiel's gaze as he tells him firmly "I'm glad I stopped, I just... Miss it, occasionally" 

"That was one of the first things that impressed me about you, you know? How easy you made that seem, your willpower to give it up" Said Castiel thoughtfully

"Not my amazing good looks?" Jokes Dean 

Castiel rolls his eyes "You are very handsome Dean" 

"Did you think I'd be able to do it?" Asked Dean "Quit, I mean" 

"I thought it may have taken you longer, to be honest," Said Castiel adding with a thoughtful sigh "It's hard to give up the things that make-up your 'normal'." 

Dean nodded "Almost ready, just gotta brush my teeth" He walked into the bathroom closing the door behind him and Castiel went downstairs to wait for him, thinking about everything they may have to give up... He looked around his kitchen, his home... Was the time coming to move on? Had he done all he could for New York? The 'List Killer' was becoming too big... He and Dean had even spotted some graffiti on their morning run 'List Killer for Mayor'... As the 'fame' of the list killer grew, so did the attention of the police... Especially with Paul Richards pointing the police in that direction too... 

Paul Richards... The man was quickly becoming something of a nemesis... Some people backed his approach... Find and lock up the List Killer, some people backed Castiel's... Protect the children... It was a weird situation. He was convinced of Richards guilt but they hadn't even begun to dig into his background yet... Still laying low after the Robert Talbots job. Things were too hot... And without Ellen, Castiel had no idea if the police were any closer to discovering his identity... 

He missed Ellen... He hoped he'd told her enough how grateful he was to her, somehow he doubted it... 

The week drags, Castiel and Dean had been on edge the entire time, were the police about to turn up and arrest them? They'd talked about it... What they would do if the police did come, Castiel had withdrawn enough money for a few weeks if they had to run and they had a couple of bags packed for an emergency escape in his car and by the back door. 

The other thing he'd been thinking about... That he hadn't yet mentioned to Dean, was selling his clinic. He looked up the stairs as Dean came down them... "I think..." He said frowning slightly "I think we need to make Paul Richards our last job in New York" 

Dean stared at him "Why?" 

"There is to much heat on us here, I have been thinking... It may be time to move on once this is done..." 

"What about Ellens list?" 

"I know, but taking out Paul Richards is going to get a huge media response... it wouldn't be safe here for us"

"So it's one big fish or several little fish?" Asked Dean 

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean... Paul Richards is a big fish... We could take him out... and run. Or do the rest of the list and then maybe stay, maybe go, maybe get a shot on him..." 

"You think we should do the little fish?" Said Castiel

"Well, yeah..." 

Castiel shook his head "He would be in a position of power if he won the election... You really want someone like that running the city?"

"No," Said Dean scratching his head "But he is just one guy... this is seven guys or one guy...plus he will be in the limelight, he won't be able to do anything to hurt anyone" 

"But think of the message it would send... That no one, no matter what their position is safe if they do these things..." 

Dean frowned "Cas" He walked up to him, standing close and looking him directly in the eyes "I know that this guy has got under your skin a little bit, I know you want to take him out... Hell, I do... But I have to tell you... I think that this might be a mistake, it's seven or one... Things are risky right now anyway... Surely a lower profile target is a better idea?" Dean sighed, as the look on Castiel's face already told him Castiel did not agree "That being said... I told you when I came here I'd do whatever you asked and if you think we should go after Richards... I'm with you. It's your call... But just think about it, okay?"  

Castiel looks down at the ground "I'll think about it" 

***

A man in a silver Lexus watches Bela's apartment from across the street. Tilting his head slightly as a burly looking man with a short scruffy beard walks up to the door and knocks... The man pulls his phone from his pocket and switches his blue tooth headset on as he presses call. 

"It's me. She's still here. A man just pulled up and knocked on her door, she let him in. What do you want me to do if he leaves?" 

"Stay on her..." A voice comes through his earpiece "I'll send someone else out to trail him..." 

"You think she did it?" Asked the man eyes still fixed on Bela's front door

"No. But I think she knows who did... Keep me informed" Paul Richards hung up his burner phone and looked back to his computer screen, scrolling down a list of 'List Killer' stories online, re-opening the file that had the news report on the death of Robert Talbot.


	46. Fishing

"Please don't be angry with me" 

"I'm not angry... I'm disappointed you hadn't told me... But only because I feel like that's something I'd want to be there for you for..." 

"Benny..." Bela smiles up at him sadly "I was going to tell you, eventually" 

Benny laughed sourly "I guess it's a good thing I didn't know really"  

Frowning Bela took a half step back "Why?"

"Because I would have killed the bastard myself" Relief floods threw Bela and she gives Benny a small smile "Are you alright though?" 

"Better than... Honestly knowing he was out there gave me nightmares... I just couldn't handle it... Now, I feel like I'm free of it" Bela shrugs "If that makes any sense" 

"It does," Says Benny pulling her into a warm hug "I'm sorry" 

"Sorry for what?" Asked Bela looking up into Benny's eyes 

"Sorry that that happened to you..."

Bela presses herself against Benny's warmth... "It's not your fault... I guess, maybe I make a little more sense now?"

"You mean your incredible strength? The way you don't take any shit?" Said, Benny pointedly

Bela smiles "And how I knew Ellen"

"Oh..." Benny nods "She helped you with..."

Bela nods "She got me out, sorted me out, kept an eye on me... She was like family" 

"Do you want me to stay?" Said Benny pressing a soft kiss to Bela's forehead "I could call Dean and tell him..." 

"No," Said Bela "No, please... I'm fine. You go, have fun. Tell Dean I said hi" Bela wishes she could go, wishes she could get a proper message to Castiel and Dean, but it was wiser for now to keep her distance from them. 

***

"You sure you don't mind?" Dean asked again 

"Dean I swear if you ask me that again, I am going to strip you down and whip your delicious ass with a horse whip until it shines pink" 

"Kinky" Dean wiggles his eyebrows "We can talk strip and whip later... I'm just checking before he sets off"

"It's fine, go... I have to sort through some things at the clinic anyway" 

Dean frowned "It's your day off?" 

Castiel sighed "Yes, but... I'm checking records and such... If we do decide on one big fish... I'm going to try and sell the clinic... We need run money if it comes to it" 

Dean shakes his head "Stop it" 

Castiel frowns at him "Stop what?"

"Acting like you haven't already decided. I told you, I'm with you whatever you choose, you don't need to keep this stuff from me just because you think I won't approve, I still want to take Richards down, I'm still in. We are still a team, alright?"

Castiel nods slowly "I'm sorry"

"This isn't you versus Richards, you know that right?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean... Somehow, this has become personal to you, it isn't Cas... It's just another job" 

"It's..." Began Castiel 

"Stop" Said Dean again "You don't have to agree with me, but don't lie to me... I'm going to text Benny, good luck trying to sell your clinic"

Castiel frowned after Dean as he walked away from him "Dean..." 

"What?" 

"I love you" 

"I love you too" Dean gave him a small smile before walking away again.

***

Two hours later and Dean and Benny are sat on an adjoining fishing peg setting up, Benny had picked Dean up from Castiels... A man in a black Cadillac watches through a binocular camera from the car park at the other end of the pool, chewing loudly. He presses his earpiece in and angles a shortwave listening antenna at the two men... 

"Hows Bela?" He hears one man say. 

"So, you knew?" The second voice sounded annoyed. 

"Well, yeah man... It's all over the news" 

"Why haven't you and Cas been to see her then?" The man in the Cadillac opens a small notepad on his knee and writes the name 'Cas' down on the top of a fresh page. 

"I thought she'd want some space, I mean what a way for... everyone you've ever known to find out what your dad did to you as a kid..."

"I guess, I still think you should go and see her though Dean, she told me to say hi to you"  The man scribbles the name 'Dean' down under 'Cas'. 

"I will,"  

The man in the Cadillac stays for another two hours. He gets the name of the man he'd followed here, 'Benny' as well as a few other notes... 

Benny's car registration.

Cas - is a man.

He and Dean live together.

Cas - at work.

Benny and Dean - old friends.

The name Sam is mentioned.

Sam is dead. 

Benny is Bela's boyfriend.

As well as now knowing... Cas' and Dean's address. 

The man in the black Cadillac packs up his equipment and drives away, having enough to start his search on background information... Starting with Benny. 


	47. Breakfast

"Nobody ever said this would be easy Dean. You will have to make some sacrifices, do things you never thought you were capable of..." Said Castiel lips twitching slightly

Dean eyed Castiel with mistrust from across the table... "Really?" 

Castiel nodded.

"Fine," Said Dean clearly unhappy "But only because it's you" 

Castiel smiled and held up the plastic tub to his left, Dean shook his head, Castiel rolled his eyes as he put the tub down again and picked up the plastic tub to his right... 

"No" Said Dean shaking his head again

"Dean!" Snapped Castiel "You promised me, you would eat some fruit"

"I will but don't want any of those black grapes..." Began Dean

"Blueberries" 

"Right, I don't want blueberries and I don't want any of those defective looking strawberries"

"Raspberries," Said Castiel shaking his head

"I'll have a banana" Smiled Dean

Castiel sighed, giving in "Fine, do you want yogurt?" 

"Yeah" Dean smirks as he takes the yogurt from Castiel he peels back the lid, then picks up a banana and peels the skin half way down, locking eyes with Castiel he dips the end of the banana into the yogurt pot... So that the creamy white yogurt seems to melt down the banana as he brings it back up again... He puts the end of the banana in his mouth and instead of biting, he slides it in and out of his mouth a few times... the yogurt making his lips shine... His eyes twinkling with mischief as he gazes at Castiel, who is watching him with raised brows.  

***

Over at Bela's, Benny had stayed the night.  

Benny's head pops up from under the blanket and Bela huffs... 

"You know, when I suggested breakfast in bed, this wasn't what I had in mind..."

Bela's eyes flash "Are you complaining?" 

"Hell no, this is better" Smiled Benny biting lightly at Bela's inner thigh. 

"Then shut up" Chuckled Bela pushing Benny's head back down between her legs... "Fuck..." 

***  

Paul Richards sits alone at a large dining table, black coffee to his left, a plate of buttered toast to his right. A newspaper spread out on the table in front of him... He's holding a phone up to his ear...

"It's nearly been a week," He said annoyed

"I like to be thorough" Came the voice

"What have you got?" 

"Everything on one Benny Laffite... Which is not a lot, to be honest, the guy is squeaky clean, not so much as a parking ticket. He's been dating Bela for a couple of months... There is nothing to tie him to any of the 'List Killers' crimes, well except the connection to the Robert Talbot one... But I don't think he even knew anything about that..." 

"So you have nothing?" Richards asked getting cross

"Didn't say that... it's Benny's friendship with this Dean Winchester character... And Dean and Bela already knowing each other... I couldn't figure out the connection there, so I did some digging... Dean's partner, Castiel Shurley, had an aunt on the police force... Ellen Harvell. She's dead, cancer... But she was the one who got Bela away from her father..."

"An in with the police force..." Said Richards thoughtfully "Interesting... I assume you did a criminal record check on them then?" 

"I did" 

"And?" 

"And this is where it gets interesting... Castiel and Bela's files were completely clean... They have never committed a crime - that's been recorded by the police" 

"And Dean?"

"Well... Dean's clean... at first glance"

"Get to the point" 

"Dean's file brought up a glitch on my system..."

"Meaning?" 

"Meaning he had a record... and it was deleted" 

Paul Richards narrowed his eyes "Really. How interesting... Drop the tail on Benny, switch to Dean Winchester... I want to know everything, what those crimes were and if it was this Ellen Harvell that deleted them. I want everything on Dean Winchester. The man so much as sneezes... I want to know about it"

"Yes sir"

"Good work," Says Richards hanging up, he puts his phone down and picks up his coffee. At the same time, he swallows the last mouthful of his coffee... miles away across the city... Dean is swallowing Castiel's come... 

***

Castiel is laid back on the kitchen table, legs hanging over the side and pants pooled on his ankles. Blueberries, raspberries, and a half-eaten banana litter the floor, Castiel's dick still has some of the yogurt, Dean poured over it, dribbling down from it to his balls. 

Castiel is still breathless as Dean takes his mouth off him with a wet 'pop' sound and he smiles at him "Maybe I can get behind these fruity breakfasts after all" 

"That's the last time I let you distract me with sex" 


	48. Moving On. Closing In.

Castiel gets out of the shower... Having washed off the sticky remains of his yogurt flavored blow job. He walks into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around him.

Dean's in their bedroom, laying on the bed. He smiles at him "Looking forward to seeing Bela today?" 

"Yes. I just hope two weeks is long enough... If the police were watching her"

"I know, I hope so too," Said Dean, "But if they were going to find anything..." 

"Yes, usually the vital evidence is found within the first forty-eight hours, but that doesn't mean we're in the clear yet. I mean, realistically... we will never be in the clear" 

Dean sat up on the bed and tugged at Castiel's hand pulling him to him "You alright?" 

"Yes," Castiel sighed as Dean rested his forehead against his stomach, his arms snaking around Castiel's waist to hold him just above the curve of his bum.

"Wow, Cas... That was super convincing" Said Dean sarcastically looking up at him "What's wrong?" 

"I just have a lot on my mind" 

Dean sighs, he knows Cas means Paul Richards. But instead of saying anything that could cause a row he just asks "Anything I can do?" 

Castiel shakes his head and Dean loses patience...

"What's going on with you?"

"I..." Castiel frowns

"Please just tell me?" Begs Dean "Something is bothering you and I can't help if you won't even tell me what it is" 

Castiel nods slowly "Alright, I'll try..." He scratches the side of his face "I feel split, my work has always been the most important thing. The driving force of my life was to get rid of as many sick bastards as I could... Before you and Bela... I worked alone, I mean Ellen helped me, kept me informed and safe, but it's different now... Especially, with you... I want to keep you safe and the more jobs we do, the harder that becomes... We have no one in the police to tell us whats happening. This is part of why I want to get rid of Paul Richards... I feel like taking out someone as high profile as he is... will send a message. After we get rid of him, I want to leave. I'm not saying stop, but stop in New York, move somewhere else, so we're a bit safer... you're a bit safer. Dean, you have to understand, I haven't had anything like this before" He holds Dean's face in his hands and smiles down at him "Like what we have... I love you completely, you make me happy, if we were to get caught and go to prison, it wouldn't be the not being able to get rid of the monsters, it wouldn't be the lack of freedom... It would be being apart from you... That's what would destroy me. I need you. I have a battle raging inside my head, between wanting to do the job and wanting to keep us safe..." 

Dean nods, slightly stunned by Castiel's confession. He presses a light kiss just below Castiel's belly button before releasing him from his grip... "Okay, okay Cas... One last job in New York... Then we move on" 

Leaning down, Castiel presses his mouth against Dean's lips "Thank you" He pushes Dean's shoulders back so that he drops back on to the bed again, Castiel hooks a thumb under his towel and pulls it free, so that it drops to the floor, then he climbs up over Dean settling himself on his crotch, which is already beginning to twitch just from the sight of Castiel's naked body on top of him... 

Castiel pulls on Dean's bottom lip gently with his teeth before leaning back slightly and saying "Dean you have entirely too many clothes on for what I want to do to you right now" 

Dean smiles as his hands rise to pull his own t-shirt over his head "A problem that can be easily fixed" He says as Castiel begins to undo his belt. 

*** 

Stood at the side of his computer, which was open on the news report of the murder of Peter Jackson, Paul Richards tapped his fingers on the polished surface of the desk, trying to mentally put the pieces of a puzzle together... 

"Dean Winchester... Peter Jackson..." He pictures it in his head, two shadowy figures as he doesn't know what either of these men looks like... He imagines Dean... watching, stalking Peter... 

"You took him on the very day he was released from prison... You must have been waiting for him to get out... Followed him... How did you know his release date?" He remembers about Ellen "You had inside information... You were told he was getting out..." He nodded to himself 

"But why burn the barn? Something went wrong... Something happened..." 

He started pacing the room, muttering to himself "He never burnt a scene before... Why do it here... What happened..." He chewed the inside of his mouth as he muttered to himself "What were you covering up?" He stops pacing in front of his computer as something occurs to him... "How did you do it... You don't just drive around with gasoline in your car... That would be far too conspicuous, and you're not an arsonist - this was a mistake being covered up... So, where did you get the gasoline?" He pulls up google maps on his computer, enters the address of the barn and then looks for gas stations within a ten-mile radius. 

He picks up his phone "It's me. I need the CCTV footage from these four gas stations on the date of the Peter Jackson's murder..."

"Who am I looking for?" 

"Dean Winchester" 

"It's going to take me some time"

"Just get it done, without drawing any attention to what you're doing" 


	49. I Know What He Did Last Summer

Bela wraps her arms around Castiel and Dean as they enter Mikey's Bar, her eyes closing in silent relief, she whispers to them "Longest two weeks of my fucking life" 

Castiel and Dean both hug her back, before backing off and sitting down in a quiet corner... They talk a bit about Bela's questioning, about how she thinks it went... 

"I've never been so nervous in my entire life, I felt like I was wearing a sign saying guilty but... Nothing..." 

"Good," Said Castiel relaxing slightly "We have been worried about you" 

Bela smiled "I know, it's been weird..."

"There is something we need to talk to you about Bela..." Began Castiel "There is a strong possibility that after our next job, Dean and I will be leaving New York" 

Bela frowned looking between them both "You're joking?"

Dean shook his head. 

Castiel leaned into Bela "If you want to come with us... We'd be more than happy to..." 

"I can't..." Said Bela suddenly "I can't leave, I love my job... and Benny..." 

"Well, it won't be for a while yet..." Said Castiel "I am struggling to find anything remotely incriminating on Paul Richards... yet I just have this gut feeling he is no good"

"You sound just like Ellen" Said Bela, "She said the exact same thing to me about a year ago..." 

"Wait, what?" 

Bela leaned forward and began talking... Telling Dean and Castiel the story Ellen had told her... 

 

Just over a year ago... 

"Hello...? Hey... It's alright, I'm here to help... my name is Ellen Harvelle and I work for the New York police department" Ellen slowed her car down to a stop and got out, walking around it to the scared and lost looking woman on the dirt path...

The woman looked at her, she seemed to be wearing a long white nightdress and dressing gown... that was spattered in dirt, her face was pale, her hair was messy and she wasn't wearing any shoes. She clutched at Ellen's arm as she said "They think I'm crazy, they think I lie... No one believes me. I can't go back... I can't... Please..." 

"Okay, okay... Alright darlin' slow down," Says Ellen trying to calm the frantic woman... "Let's start at the beginning... Can you tell me your name?" 

The woman nods, her whole body is trembling, her voice cracks slightly as she says in little above a whisper "Penelope Richards" 

"Penelope," Says Ellen smiling warmly at her "That's a lovely name. Are you cold?" She asks as the woman shudders next to her "Come and sit in my car, I'll take you to get looked at" 

Penelope climbs into the back of Ellen's patrol car, she looks thin and tired. Ellen places her spare police jacket over her to try and warm her up. She notices, her feet are scratched and she has five deep purple bruises on her arm, Ellen recognizes them as a handprint, where she's been grabbed roughly.

"Who did that to you, Penelope?" She asks looking at the marks 

Penelope shakes her head "You won't believe me... No one believes me..." She says, tears pouring from her eyes "They say it's my condition, they say I make things up... It's all in your head Pen, it's all in your head" 

"Those bruises don't look made up to me," Says Ellen "I promise, whatever you tell me... I will get it looked into"

"My... My brother... hurts me"

"He hits you?" Says Ellen, her heart aching at just how scared this woman seems.

"S-sometimes... But he... hurts me worse" 

"What's his name?" 

"P-paul Richards" 

"The politician?" Asks Ellen shocked 

"See? No one believes me" Penelope bursts into hysterical tears covering her face with her hands "He hurts me... and they don't stop him"

"Whoa... I did not say I didn't believe you. I told I'll get it looked into ok... I promise" Ellen thought back to her own brother, Castiel's father... 

*** 

Ellen drives Penelope to the hospital, calling it in case she was declared as a missing person... Which she was. Paul Richards had reported her missing just over nine hours earlier. Which Ellen guessed meant that Penelope had escaped in the middle of the night...

Penelope's medical file was a mile long, full of self-harm, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, she was diagnosed with schizophrenia, delusional paranoia, and histrionic personality disorder...

"Penelope," Said Ellen softly when the nurses had cleaned up Penelope's feet and given her some medicine to calm her down... "I'm going to try and help you, you have to trust me alright... it's going to take some time"

"You're leaving?" The woman's eyes widened, fearful "No, you can't leave me..." 

"Listen I have to go, just for a while, but an officer will be outside your door alright. I promise I will get someone to look into what you told me about your brother" Said Ellen

"Please... I can't, I can't... He'll come. He'll want me back, he's not... human... He's the devil" 

Ellen swallowed "I believe you, Penelope. I believe you" she leaned in close to her and whispered in her ear... 

"Thank you... They think I'm crazy... they think... But he lies... Thank you" 

***

Walking away from Penelope Richards was difficult, but Ellen couldn't do anything more for her right now... She was under the care of the doctors and nurses now... Ellen walked through the hospital thinking, a plan forming in her mind... She spotted Bela on her ward and walked over to her... 

"Hello Bela" 

"Ellen" Smiled Bela "Everything alright?"

"You know what you told me last week...? About a certain doctors 'side-income'..." 

Bela frowned slightly, lowering her voice "Doctor Frank Devereaux... Yes...?" 

"Well... We're going to need his help... The name is Penelope Richards..."

Bela rolled her eyes "Branching out into blackmail now are we?" 

Ellen smiled "Fucking right we are, amongst other things"  

***

Ellen walked through the hospital, no point waiting until that afternoon when she was already here... She walked to her doctor's office. Knocked on the door and waited... 

"Come in" 

Ellen smiled at her doctor as she stepped through the door "Hello" 

The doctor blinked at her in surprise "Ah... Miss Harvell your appointment isn't until this afternoon..." 

"I know, but I was here anyway and... well if you have the results I want to hear them, the waiting is driving me insane" 

The doctor cleared his throat "You best sit..." 

Ellen frowned slightly before sitting... Never has being asked to sit been a good thing... 

"I'm very sorry Miss Harvell... But it appears your cancer is spreading..." 

***

Two weeks later Penelope Richards is declared dead... Cause of death reported as a suicide. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is defined by the American Psychiatric Association as a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive attention-seeking emotions, usually beginning in early adulthood, including inappropriately seductive behavior and an excessive need for approval.
> 
> Delusional disorder is a generally rare mental illness in which the patient presents delusions, but with no accompanying prominent hallucinations, thought disorder, mood disorder, or significant flattening of effect. Delusions are a specific symptom of psychosis.
> 
> Schizophrenia is a mental disorder characterized by abnormal social behavior and failure to understand reality. Common symptoms include false beliefs, unclear or confused thinking, hearing voices that others do not, reduced social engagement and emotional expression, and a lack of motivation.


	50. Good Cop/Bad Cop

Somewhere between swirling black clouds and deep claps of thunder Matt hears his old captains voice...

"Officer Matthew Bloomfield you are hereby suspended without pay as we look into allegations of criminal misconduct" 

He groans and rolls over on the grimy single bed, trying to tip the images of handing over his badge and gun from his mind as his bosses voice, which is laced with sadness and disgust continues to haunt him...

"Officer Matthew Bloomfield you are hereby dishonorably discharged from the police force for being found guilty of police misconduct, violating administrative procedures and tampering with evidence"

***

Matt wakes up to the sharp beeping tones of his alarm clock... He rubs his eyes and gets out of bed... 

After a blast under a cool shower and some breakfast of eggs and bacon, he is just getting dressed when his phone rings... He answers to the curt voice of Paul Richards... 

"It's me. Do you have the CCTV footage I asked you for yesterday?"

"No, I told you that will take some time. I'll be driving out the first two gas stations today and Dean Winchester's old appartment... Which is still up for rent"  

"Well, bring me whatever you do have this evening, discreetly" 

"Yes, sir,"

"And Bloomfield? When you come, bring me a coffee. Black" 

"I am your PI, not your PA" He hangs up, rolling his eyes at what a jerk his new boss can be... But he knows deep down, they both know when he turns up later, he will have Richards coffee. This job is too important, the man is running for Mayor and they are trying to catch 'The List Killer'... If anything was going to get him back onto the police force... Being the name behind bringing down a serial killer and being on first names terms with the Mayor was sure to be it... 

*** 

He calls ahead to the two gas stations, checking they have the digitalized CCTV storage. They do. All he has to do is drive out there, convince them without actually saying it, that he is a police officer and get those files copied.  

Two hours later and armed with the CCTV footage from two of the four gas stations, he is being shown into Dean Winchester's old appartment by the landlady. He isn't expecting to find anything, as such... But this Dean character had lived here for several years, his old landlady was sure to know him, even if only a little... 

"How long has this place been up for rent?"

"About six weeks" 

"What was the last tenant like?" 

The lady frowned at him. 

"It's just so I know If I move in if I can expect any trouble..." 

"Oh no, the young man who lived here before, kept to himself mostly, he didn't cause any trouble... Although he did burn something in here a few days before he left which was odd, you could smell the smoke from down the hallway, but then he must have put it out and then he went out with that other fella... I never had a chance to ask him about it, as he stayed out most nights and then moved out not long after that. If you do choose to rent, I would ask that you not start fires"

"Of course," Matt smiled at the woman before asking "Do you mind if I have a look around?" 

"No, of course, help yourself"

Matt walks into the flat, his eyes fall on the tinged yellow wallpaper... He turns back to the woman waiting by the door "He smoked in here?" 

"Yes, I'm afraid so... The walls could use a freshening up" She shook her head "Although he did quit, right out of the blue, unrivaled willpower that boy. But again, I would ask that you don't, I will look into getting it decorated"

***  

"One coffee. Black. One sugar" Says Matt holding out the styrofoam cup

"Just put it on the desk," Says Richards "Did you get the CCTV footage?" 

"Yes sir, here" Matt hands over the USB "I also visited Winchester's old appartment, there was no evidence as such, but I can tell you he use to be a smoker and he apparently kept to himself"

"How utterly useless," Said Richards with an eye roll "I don't care if the man used to run naked up and down the street... I want something that proves if he is the list killer... That is all I care about" 

Matt remains silent, this man was likely going to be Mayor of New York... and as far as Matt could tell, he was rude and had no idea about profiling... Getting every scrap of information about Dean Winchester, would help them paint a picture of him... be able to predict to some small extent what he might do next if he is the killer... 

When he first took this job with Paul Richards, only a few weeks ago, he'd been stunned by how determined to catch the list killer, Richards was... He'd been slightly in awe of it, respected it... But now... He was beginning to think Richards just wanted the voters to see him put away a serial killer... He grew less and less convinced about the purity of the mans motives... 


	51. Getting To Know You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight edit to Chapter 42: Identity (Four months into the future changed to Two months)  
> Sorry about that.

Castiel is stood up, looking down at Bela and Dean, talking about Paul Richards...

"So we know he abused his sister..." He said 

"Why would you do something like that and then put yourself in the public eye..." Said Dean shaking his head 

"Remember when you first started with me?" Said Castiel "And I told you a steady, respectable job.. is one of the best camouflages you can have... Imagine being Mayor... No one would challenge you...It's also probably a power fetish" 

"Ew," Says Bela wrinkling her nose 

Dean didn't say anything... just gave Castiel a sideward glance thinking maybe Castiel had a tiny power fetish himself... And hell Dean was not complaining, he liked it... On Cas. Because Cas would never cross any lines that Dean set. If Dean said no, he knew Castiel would respect that... And so would he. His mind wandered to his and Castiel's relationship, and how it had taken so long for Castiel to even warm up to him and how now... He couldn't imagine life without him. 

When he came out of his thoughts he heard Castiel saying something to Bela about Frank Devereaux. 

"I'll ask him," Said Bela nodding.

"Thank you, there's no immediate rush, of course, we need to keep our heads down for a while," Said Castiel

***

The steady 'beep, beep, beep' of her computer, made her look up, she rubbed her eyes and blinked in the direction of the laptop, face screwing together when she saw 'unauthorized download' flashing up... She practically fell out of her bed and scrambled over to the computer... 

Typing away furiously until she discovered the file that had been found and hacked... She slumped back against her computer chair, looking stressed and running her hands through her hair as her eyes settled on the name that flashed up... 

'Dean Winchester' 

She narrowed her eyes and began reversing the hack to find out where it came from... 

 

***

The first two files of footage had proved unhelpful and Richards had called and made a demand for the other two gas stations footage... It was now the next day and Matt had driven to the other to gas stations, getting copies of their CCTV... He'd dropped it off for Richards and gone back to Mikey's Bar... His targets favorite haunt. But Dean hadn't made an appearance, so after a couple of hours Matt had called it a night and gone home...   

He logged into his computer, his hacking skills were a tad rusty, but he was sure he could locate the missing records for Dean's police file... Someone had deleted them... But not completely. There was a trail as if that person had just hidden them behind a door, a door that you wouldn't even know was there unless you went looking for it. Which made Matt think that maybe this person had wanted to have something on Dean... If things ever went bad... 

He chewed the inside of his mouth, wondering how that would fit... if it was Ellen Harvell that had deleted the files... Maybe Dean had something on her... Or, maybe it was as simple as he'd started dating her nephew and she'd wanted something on him, in case he ever hurt him...  

As he opened the cyberspace door, to reveal Dean's list of sins... shoplifting as a minor... And... signed into lockup for being drunken disorderly... by Ellen Harvell... Matt frowned at the screen... "Ellen arrested you... What the fuck is with these people, nothing they do makes any sense" As he sat trying to think of why Ellen would arrest Dean and then delete the record... he jumps slightly as a message from 'unknown' sender comes up on his screen. 

_'Curiosity killed the cat'_

***

Five Weeks In the Future... 

"Tell me, Dean, did your friend Benny ask you to take care of his new girlfriend's father, or did you butcher that man out of the goodness of your heart?" Richards sneered down at Dean like a snake ready to strike at any moment. 

Once again... Dean's silence earned him a punch to the gut and he clenched his jaw down as the wind was knocked out of him. 


	52. You Can Leave Your Hat On

_'Curiosity killed the cat'_

Matt stares at his screen... slightly shaken. Before he can even think of replying, another message pops up... 

_'It took me all of two minutes to find out who you are and another five minutes to find out who you are working for'_

Matt narrowed his eyes... He didn't know who this was, he wasn't going to give anything away... he typed back... 'Who do I work for then?'

_'Paul Richards'_

"Shit" He muttered to himself... 'Who are you?' 

_'Given the reason for you being discharged from the police, I am assuming that you are a good man who knows the difference between wrong and right, you aim to see the wicked punished. Perhaps you should reconsider which side of this you want to be on'_

Matt typed his reply quickly 'Is that a threat?' 

_'No, not a threat. I am just suggesting you take a closer look at the man you work for, his actions may not be as pure as you have been led to believe'_

'What do you know?'

_'Everything'_

'Did you delete Dean Winchester's criminal record?" 

_'Yes'_

'Why?' 

_'I was asked to'_

'Who are you?'

_'Someone who owed Ellen a favor'_

_***_

Later that evening, Matt made his way to Mickey's Bar... He was being paid to find the list killer, this was his job... But he wasn't going to ignore a creepy warning from an anonymous source... He fully intended to do a little digging into his boss's background. 

He sat in a darkened corner of the room and sipped at his beer, watching out for Dean or any of the others... He was almost convinced now that Dean was the List Killer... Richards had called him earlier to tell him that Dean had been at the Buc-ee's gas station on the night of Peter Jackson's murder. For Richards, it seemed to be a certainty and his wired excitement had unnerved Matt slightly... 

Richards had told him to stay on Dean to try and find out what the others knew... So here he was, waiting to see if his targets showed up... He only had to wait another twenty minutes before they all came through the door together... 

* 

Bella and Benny had invited Castiel and Dean out to Mickey's bar for Benny's birthday. Castiel volunteered to be the designated driver and therefore was not drinking, Dean, Benny, and Bela however were. Castiel hadn't been impressed that they were going out and drinking again, he felt that twice in three weeks was excessive, but Bela and Dean had both reasoned that with him that they had no upcoming kills and that it would look odd to go out for Benny's birthday and not have a drink. 

After several drinks, Dean's cheeks and eyes have gone a soft shade of pink and he is slurring his words slightly... And when Bela pulls Benny on to the dance floor, Dean looks at Castiel in question...

"Absolutely not" Laughed Castiel planting his feet down firmly. 

"Ahh, come on. Why not?" Asked Dean 

"I don't dance, especially not sober if you want to... go have fun"

"But I want to dance with you" Pouts Dean 

Castiel shook his head "No, sorry Dean"

"How about I dance _for_ you then?" says Dean teasingly, wiggling his eyebrows at Castiel.

"Later," Says Castiel with a small smirk "You know I'd require you to be naked for that" 

*** 

Several more drinks each... And Dean is pretty wasted, his outrageous flirting with Castiel has Bela, Cas, and Benny in fits of laughter... 

As Dean is returning from the men's room 'You Can Leave Your Hat On' By Tom Jones starts playing and his eyes light up... and he does a confident spin on the dance floor to meet Castiel's eyes. 

Castiel shakes his head, trying not to smile... But Dean is already swaying his hips and slowly beginning to unbutton his shirt from the top... his body moves in a suggestive manner, hips rolling and gyrating in Castiel's direction and he lip-syncs along to the song as he draws nearer to Cas...

"You give me reason to live... You give me reason to live..." Dean mimes along to the song, throwing out his dirty dancing moves... 

Castiel has a face that says he is unamused and bulge in his pants that says his face is lying...  Dean spins around just as he reaches Castiel and pushes his ass out, so it's right in Castiel's face... Then he lowers himself down on to Castiel's lap and pushes it down against the hardness in Cas' pants... Biting his lip as he feels it rub against his ass cheek...

Benny and Bela watch, laughing as Castiel's face begins to heat up... 

"Come on Dean, save the lap dances for the bedroom," Says Benny laughing at his friend. 

Dean laughs and turns to Cas with a wink "Can we go home now?"

Castiel licks his lip slightly as he looks at Dean's chest through his open shirt, sweat-damp and shiny, his cock is still poking at Dean's ass as he answers him "Soon... We still need to tell them about Canada"

"You're going to Canada?" Asks Bela 

"Only for a couple of weeks," Says Castiel "We may be thinking of moving, but want to see what its like there first" 

* 

Watching from across the bar, Matt rolls his eyes smirking... Surprised to find the man he suspects of being a serial killer dancing so wildly and having fun. What shocks Matt more is that Dean seems like he'd be fun to hang out with... 'Just wouldn't want to piss him off' thinks Matt to himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Full Monty (Tom Jones) - You Can Leave Your Hat On
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGBvbrXNjs0


	53. The Rises and Falls

"No, I am telling you, he has been stabbed...Recently. He was dancing around at the bar last night with his shirt open... And he has a very clear stab wound scar, but... He never went to the hospital for it... Which I think means... Bela knows. She's a nurse..." 

"You think she patched him up?" Says Richards thoughtfully  
  
"Yes. My theory is... the day that Ellen was buried... He didn't go to the funeral... As Castiel's partner, you would think he would have wanted to be there for him... But... I think the reason he didn't go was that there was going to be a large police presence there. Instead... that day the 'list killer' did something they had never done before..."

"He killed two people in one day..." Said Richards nodding along, remembering the headline 'LIST KILLER strikes twice in one day...'

"Yes! I think the first was planned, it fit his usual pattern, Martin Thyme - he was killed clean... But then... Julian Ted Hawkins died that night... One headshot, close range, no witnesses, so he must have used a silencer. Then, when Julian was on the ground... He pulled the trigger twice more... Once over his heart and once .. over his crotch. A friend of mine that's still on the force told me... you could tell he was already on the ground by the blood splatter... So to me... that seems like a spur of the moment kill... maybe out of anger or grief... Maybe he was upset about Ellen or maybe he'd had a falling out with Castiel... About not going to the funeral"

"So... you don't think that Castiel even knows about Dean... or what his aunt did?" 

"I'm not even sure Ellen knew exactly... She got him off with being drunk and disorderly... But that could have been as a favor to Castiel. She may not have been 'feeding' him information, maybe she just slipped up every now and then, talking about her stressful job... And I haven't found anything linking Castiel to any of these kills we've been looking into... The other thing that makes me think it wasn't a planned kill with Hawkins... Was that he carved a tick and a question mark on his cheek... I think Dean tried to take Hawkins somewhere to kill him... like he does with the others, I think Hawkins pulled a knife... Stabbed him. Dean panicked and pulled a gun... rushed it and then began to question himself... hence, the question mark"

"And then...?" 

"And then... Dean asks Bela to fix him up. Knowing that going to a hospital would raise suspicion and maybe already knowing her history with her father, he knew it would make her more sympathetic to his 'cause'... So Bela helps him, realizes who he is or he tells her..."

"And asks him to kill her father," Says Richards standing up as he sees it all come together in his mind, like a mini movie playing before his eyes... 

"Yes... I mean if you look at Dean's history... His brother killed himself... I think, again this is just me theorizing but... I think maybe his brother suffered some form of sexual abuse from someone and Dean couldn't protect him or didn't find out until it was too late... And this is how he dealt with losing his brother... But then he met Castiel... It may have started as a relationship born out of convenience at first but I believe he loves him, watching them at the bar... I think it's real... And I think that is why Dean's been getting a bit sloppy on his kills... He's in love... It's obvious that Castiel has had an impact on Dean's life... He quit smoking around the time he met him, he got a job, he moved in with him... Castiel is Dean Winchester's kryptonite - bringing him closer to being caught... probably without even knowing the truth"

Richards scoffs "So... He lost it all... over one man"   

***

  
It takes them just over nine hours to drive from New York City to the Holiday Inn at Niagara Falls, Canada... It should have been less, but Dean had teased Castiel for the first two hours of the drive, until Castiel had finally had enough, pulled over and fucked Dean on the bonnet of his grey Hyundai Sonata...

It started when Dean put a cd in Castiel's car stereo... The very first song was... 'You Can Leave Your Hat On' by Tom Jones... and Castiel should have known better than to think that was going to be the only... 'flirty song'. It wasn't, the whole CD was full of suggestive or rude songs... Going as far as 'Fuck Her Gently' song by Tenacious D... To which Dean sang along with - loudly, whilst finding excuses to touch Castiel's arm and leg... About an hour into the drive... Dean took his top off and threw it onto the back seat... Sitting stretched out comfortably, his lose sweatpants raised ever so slightly over his crotch as he turns to wiggle his eyebrows at Castiel... 

"You're in a very good mood," Says Cas smiling at Dean

"Yeah," Says Dean "I am" The truth is that Dean is massively relieved Cas had agreed to go and scout out possible places to move to... He'd been growing concerned about Castiel's almost obsessive focus on Paul Richards... Cas had looked into targets before... But this somehow seemed different... More intense. Dean knew it was because Richard's had declared his own hunt for Cas... The stakes were higher, the risks were greater... Castiel had been following Richard's campaign closely and even had recorded a few of his interviews with the press... He had explained this to Dean when he had asked though... He wanted to work out who Paul Richards bodyguards were, how many he had and if he was ever left 'unattended'. He wanted to look for patterns any in his security...

"How good of a mood?" Said Castiel suggestively and Dean does not miss the way Cas' eyes traveled over his bare chest. 

Dean just smirks and loosens his seatbelt, turning in his seat and running a hand along Castiel's leg starting from his knee and sliding it up to his crotch until he finds the zipper... Which he tugs on to pull down... His hand slips into Castiel's pants and Dean catches the tiny hitch in Castiel's breath as he wraps a hand around his cock... 

Castiel sighs "Fuckk Dean" He is still trying to concentrate on the road but Dean's thumb glazing over the tip of his dick is all kinds of distracting... He shifts in his seat. 

"You don't mind this? When I can't... reciprocate"

"Of course not Cas... I don't care if I'm your good boy or your filthy little whore... As long as it's me and you, I'm happy"

"Do you want to be my little whore?" Asked Castiel with a slightly surprised look at Dean

"I want to be yours," Said Dean simply "I want to be, whatever you need me to be" 

Castiel's tongue swiped out over his lip, sucking it between his teeth for a moment. He turned back to the road and Dean wondered if maybe he'd said something wrong... Maybe Castiel didn't like the idea of Dean being 'his whore'... But then... Castiel broke the tense silence with two words. 

"Touch yourself" A command.  

Dean smirked, his cock instantly twitching at Castiel's authoritative voice. He withdrew his hand from Castiel's pants and rolled his own seat back a little.

Castiel turned his head slightly, glancing down into Dean's lap and watching for a moment as Dean's hand strokes over the very visible erection under his sweatpants...

"No Dean," Dean turns to look at him and Castiel shakes his head "Pull your pants down and take yourself in your hand... but do not come"

Dean blinks at Castiel, feeling that same spark of excitement he'd first felt when Castiel had tied his hands behind his back and kissed him for the first time... It was that feeling of 'oh fuck - this is happening - and it's awesome'. He lifts his bum off the seat slightly to slip his pants down, just enough that his cock sprung free.

Dean see's Castiel's eyes follow the motion of it bouncing up before he returns his gaze to the road. Dean gets a firm grip around himself and begins to slowly stroke up and down. After almost a minute he switches hands so that he can jerk both himself and Castiel at the same time...  

Castiel's eyes are trained on the road, but his rough breathing gives away his reactions to Dean touching him... After another minute Dean is hanging onto the side of the car for dear life when Castiel suddenly pulls off road down a tiny dirt track... The car screeches to a dusty halt and Castiel gets out quickly, his door slamming behind him and then he is moving to Dean's side of the car and practically dragging him out of the passenger seat. Their faces seem to crash together as Castiel grabs his neck and pulls him close, ignoring the fact that Dean's pants have fallen down to his ankles... Castiel just can't resist the taste of Dean any longer and slides his tongue into Dean's mouth...  

So Castiel is stood, with his hard cock poking out of his pants into Dean's hip, with one hand gripping tightly at Dean's hair as he assaults Dean's mouth with his own and Dean... is completely naked from the ankles up, his pant's almost trip him as Castiel starts walking him to the front of the car... 

"You want to be filthy for me Dean?" Says Castiel as he grabs Dean's cock and squeezes it gently between his fingers

"Uhhh, Jesus... Yes"  

"You want me to fuck you, bent over my car... In broad daylight?" 

"Cas" Growls out Dean as he turns around, he pushes himself back against Castiel, pressing his ass against Cas' cock, he tilts his head to the side... Castiel scraps his teeth and tongue over Dean's neck... 

"Your body is mind-numbingly scandalous," Says Castiel drinking in the glorious sight of Dean's bare ass as he pushes his neck down so that his face and chest lands with a gentle bump against the bonnet of his car. Castiel lightly scratches his nails down Dean's back, they are trimmed and smooth so they don't break the skin but they do send magical shivers of anticipation down Dean's spine and he shudders involuntarily under Castiel's fingertips. Castiel then kicks softly at Dean's feet, so he parts his legs further and he presses himself against Dean with a desire filled groan...

"It's like you were designed for me. Absolutely perfect" Sighs Castiel as he pulls up Dean's arms behind him, crossing them over on his back and tying his wrists together tightly with a material tie from his pants pocket... He'd been saving it for when they reached their hotel, but right now... the moment seemed to call for it "You have a body made for me, for sin" 

Dean groans as Castiel hooks another rag tie over his head and in his mouth, gagging him... Dean's hands are now bound behind him, he is gagged and naked... and Castiel pushes his own pants down and presses himself against him with his whole body. Dean's cock is hard, leaking... They are both a mess of desire and need. Hearts racing, nerves on fire, cocks swollen and red. 

Castiel bends forward, his front weighing on to Dean's back and he whispers in his ear "A tiny part of me just wants to take you right now..." He says as a hand makes it's way down the side of Dean's body "To fuck you so hard, like a little whore..." He stops at Dean's crack and his other hand slips between them too, fingers spreading Dean's cheeks and then one move's to Dean's hole and in barely-there touches it tickles over his entrance... Dean squirms at the sensitive sensation... "But you are not a whore Dean. You're... You're mine and I love you. And I may take you roughly sometimes, but I will never, could never... treat you like you mean nothing, because to me... you mean everything" 

Dean glances back, unable to speak due to his gag, but some muffled sound comes from him that sounds like 'I love you'. Castiel smiles at him and pushes his finger slowly past the ring of tight muscle and Dean's eyes shut and he groans... 

Castiel takes time, almost a painful amount of time, to open Dean up... He is not his whore... He is his person, his partner, his lover, boyfriend, best friend, his family... His world... And he would never hurt him. 

By the time he finally pushes into Dean, Dean is begging him for it... A quaking, sweaty, aroused mess... and Castiel fucks into him slowly at first, but only for a minute, making absolutely positive the stretch is not hurting him... And then he lets loose, finally granting himself and Dean the sweet relief they both need. 

Dean's grunting against his gag, getting his brains fucked out in a damn near perfect mix of force and love, pleasure, and pain. Every fiber of his being is trembling, every nerve is alive with feeling... His eyes are squeezed closed as Castiel thrusts powerfully into him. 

They come not a minute apart, panting and gasping for breath... and Castiel unties Dean before he even pulls out from inside of him... It's hot and sticky and the best thing in the world... Until they discover they forgot the wet wipes...  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Fuck Her Gently' song by Tenacious D
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Un1Q2JMPPyQ


	54. In Hell He'll Be In Good Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel talks about his past. 
> 
> (Mentions of past Non/Con - Not detailed in excess)

Castiel and Dean wake up under the thick and comfortable duvet. Their bed is warm and soft and after the long drive the day before, neither are in a hurry to get out it... Dean turns over to Castiel, who is rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 

"Morning" He smiles. Cas just grumbles at him "Did I ever tell you... that your hair is sexy as fuck when you've just woken up?" 

"What?" Laughs Castiel a hand flying up into his hair automatically. 

"To think I might never have seen it," Says Dean reaching out a hand to touch Castiel's hair "If I hadn't kissed you..."

Castiel hums but doesn't answer. He just shifts himself closer to Dean and closes his eyes. 

"You had any interest in the clinic yet?" Asks Dean 

"Not yet... It's only been a couple of days" 

"So..." Said Dean looking at Castiel next to him in bed, he twirls a finger over his smooth chest "Why a vet?"

"You mean why is that the career I choose?" Asked Castiel. Dean nodded. Castiel narrowed his eyes for a moment, thinking... "Well, with everything going on at home, I tried to be there as little as possible... only when I absolutely had to be. So I spent a lot of time in free after-school clubs and at the local library... Reading science books... I was always good at science... Although I guess, it really started when I moved in with Ellen... I didn't talk much, after what had happened... What my dad did... what I did... But Ellen had this old dog, a dopey, stinky thing, called Duke. He used to come and lie with his head on my lap... It just... helped. I don't know why... it's not like he could speak or understand me... But he was... safe. Ellen helped to... of course, but for the first few weeks I was with her, I only talked to Duke... He made me feel... less alone"

Dean smiled sadly "I'm sorry that you went through that Cas..." 

"I think my father may be sorrier, given how I ensured things ended for him" 

"Can I ask you something?" 

"Of course..." 

"I don't know if... it's ok to ask?" Dean looked sheepishly at Castiel

"You can always ask me anything, I just can't promise that I will always be able to give you an answer" 

"It's about your dad?" Dean watches Castiel stiffen slightly "I just... wondered what he was like... before... ya know" 

Castiel huffs out a breath "He..." Dean watches Castiel as he clearly starts playing out memory's in his head "He was never right...  When I looked at his behavior to how the other kid's dads at school acted... I knew it wasn't right... That was even before the physical-ness of it started. I don't think he ever really saw me as his son... If you understand... when I called him 'Dad', I was sure he liked it for... unfatherly reason's, so I stopped saying it. He never raped me, although I think he would have... Eventually. That was the scary thing... That's why I did, what I did. Because I knew it was only going to get worse... I'd wake up in the night, and he'd be in my bed... touching himself... That was how it started..."

"Sick" Whispered Dean shaking his head "That's sick" 

"I knew it wasn't right. I didn't want it to go any further. I asked him to stop... So many times. He made me..." Castiel shakes his head unable to finish his sentence "He promised he would stop, he told he knew it was wrong... he said he'd get help... He didn't get help, he didn't even try and he didn't stop... One night, I told him no. I told him to leave me alone, or he'd be sorry... And he hit me. He held my neck... until I did what he wanted... That was the first time, he'd been violent with it... So, I knew it was getting worse, not better... So I killed him a week later"  

"Did you ever regret it? I'm not saying I think you should... obviously..." Said Dean planting light kisses on Castiel's bare shoulder, to comfort him.

"There is only one moment I can think of that I regretted it... It was when I confessed it to Ellen... Told her that I did it... That I started the fire... That I was going to confess to the police... That's when she told me... What he'd done to her when they were younger. She told me she was proud of me for what I did. That he'd tried to hurt her, that he hurt me... He could have hurt others... and I stopped that from happening... She thanked me"

"She loved you," Said Dean 

"Not then. That's why it meant so much. She didn't know me, I was her nephew, but she'd never seen me before... It wasn't about me being her nephew. It was about her believing what I had done, really was for the best... And that made me feel better... move on. Think about doing it again... Because why should only my 'monster' suffer when there are so many out there, getting away with what they do..." 

"There are other types of monsters you know. What about rapists? Murders, kidnappers?" Dean said quietly "Do you think, you'd ever branch out?"

"Why'd you ask?" 

"To make it harder to track you, branch out and stop doing that tick thing" 

"You mean retire the list killer?" 

"Well... yeah. I want us to have a real chance at a life together... if we move out here or anywhere... I want it to be for a reason. Because we are making a life together, I don't want to leave an obvious trail behind us. Make each job look different..." 

"Well... It's something to think about. I have always hated that name anyway..."

"Yeah, Ellen said that the first day I met her," Said Dean remembering "Why do you hate it?" 

"It makes me sound like Santa" Grumbled Castiel, not meeting Dean's eyes "As though I'm making a list... checking it twice..."

"Gonna slit the throats... of those who ain't nice" Said Dean in a sing-song voice... he laughed "Oh my god... I can't believe I didn't make that connection, that's brilliant" 

"It's not funny Dean," Said Castiel eyes narrowed at him 

Dean continues to laugh "It is Cas... I'm sorry but it is... HA! We could have the twelve kills of Christmas... Our gift to the children of the world" 

"Now you're just being silly," Said Castiel rolling his eyes but barely holding back a smirk.

Dean snorted "Ha, have you met me? Hello?" 

Suddenly Castiel is rolling Dean over, grasping his hands and holding them into the pillow over his head, with a leg over each side of Dean's waist "Any more back talk from you, Mr. Winchester... And you'll be going on the naughty list" 

Dean cocks an eyebrow "Well shit Cas, now I don't know whether to offer to make it up to you or keep being cheeky and see what kind punishment you have playing out in that kinky little brain of yours... For someone who is so new to sex, you sure know how to get me to attention" Castiel smirks as Dean rolls his hips up slightly so that his erection pressed against Castiel's ass.

"I think I was waiting for you..." 

"Well, you'll always have me now Cas. You won't ever have to be alone again. And your dad.. and Bela's dad... Well they will have plenty of company in hell" Said Dean looking fondly into Castiel's eyes "It's just me and you now"

"Just how I like it" Says Castiel sinking down to Dean's mouth and sliding his tongue past Dean's plump little lips...


	55. Pillow Talk

The kiss is drawn out and slow, and Castiel's cock is stiff against his boxers by the time he pulls, breathlessly, away. 

"These need to come off," He said as he rolled off Dean and tugged his boxers down "Yours too"  

Dean doesn't waste any time and soon Castiel is straddling him again, they're both naked and their hot tongues are licking into each other's mouths greedily. 

"I want to..." Castiel seems slightly hesitant as he pulls back from Dean

"Whatever you want Cas!" Said Dean softly, looking into his eyes to reassure him "Whatever you want" 

Castiel takes a deep breath "I want to ride your cock" 

Dean's eyebrows almost disappear from his head as his cock twitches, he looks up at Castiel "You sure? It's been a while since you bottomed?" 

"I'm sure Dean... I like fucking you, love it - in fact... but right now... I just want to feel you" Castiel looked at Dean, his cheeks slightly pink "Would that be agreeable to you?" 

"Let me think about that... er... Yeah!" Dean smiles wide and reaches a hand up, holding two fingers up to Castiel's mouth, Cas meets his eyes as he runs his tongue over the tips of them before wrapping his lips around them. He sucks on Dean's fingers for a beat, before rolling his tongue against them, coating them with his saliva and wetting them completely. The fingers retract from his mouth and he lowers himself to kiss Dean's lips, as he licks against Dean's tongue, Castiel can feel an arm going between his legs.. quickly followed by a single digit slipping between his cheeks and teasing his hole, Dean circled it with the tip of his finger, before pushing in, slowly...

After pressing in and moving it around slightly, Dean added another finger, watching Castiel groan at the slight stretch, then after another minute and he added a third. Stretching and scissoring Cas open as gently as he could. He opens him up with loving patience, Castiel has only done this once before... And Dean want's to make it good for him. 

Removing his fingers Dean looks Castiel in the eyes, he feels, nervous somehow... He is going to be inside Castiel again, his heart is hammering in his chest with excitement. 

"Ready?" He asks 

Castiel nods and grips Deans cock beneath him, sinking himself down on to it... Both men let out deep groans as Castiel seats himself on Dean... and slowly he begins to move up and down. He can feel Dean inside, spearing him with his cock... Castiel's own cock bobbing between them. 

His movements start slow, in a pleasant rhythm, but soon he is letting out breathy moans and becoming erratic. Dean lying on the bed below him, mouth parted, eyes closing in pleasure... 

"AHhh fuck Cas" 

"Good?" 

"Fuckkk yeah, don't stop" 

Castiel tries to speed up, but Dean slips out from him and it's with a frustrated groan he grips his cock to sink back down on to it again... 

"I want you to come first Cas, I wanna see it.. taste it. Come on, Cas, come for me" He could hear Castiel's desperate gasps 

"Dean...Ugh. Dean... I need... I"

"What babe?" 

"Fuck me..." 

Dean understood and shifted his legs to get a more solid footing on the bed underneath himself so he could buck up into Castiel. He didn't hold back and fucked up into Castiel with a rough urgency, that made Castiel's head drop on to his shoulder... 

Castiel bit at Dean's shoulder and he groaned at the powerful force with which Dean drilled into him, he slid his tongue over Dean's skin, traveled it to his neck and sucked a deep purple mark there. Dean was his. And now everyone would know it. Dean is thrusting up into him while Castiel's griping his own cock in his hand and stroking it. Deans hands are on his waist helping him keep his balance as well as giving Dean some leverage. 

"Fuck you take my cock so good" 

"Harder Dean..." 

"Yes"

"Ohhh ughh" Castiel feels himself climbing to that blissful peak "Ahhh shit, I'm going to come" 

"Fuckk, do it," Says Dean still bucking up into him "Come on me Cas"  

One more hit on his prostate and Castiel spills, hot and creamy on Dean's stomach... He takes his hand off his cock and rubs his come on Dean's skin, noticing Dean sticking his tongue out he puts one finger on it and Dean sucks the come off it... 

"Ahhh fuck that's hot" Sighs Dean 

Castiel gets off Dean and gets on all fours for him on the bed... 

"You sure?" Asks Dean with a raised eyebrow

"I want you to come in me Dean" 

Dean gets behind Castiel on the bed and fucks into him, hips juttering as he spurts his come deep inside Castiel's ass... 

***

After a shower and some dinner, that they order in... Castiel and Dean are both lay on the bed again talking about their 'Jobs'. It had been agreed that today would be a 'bed' day.

"Do you ever think about giving up, just stopping?"

"I haven't so far, I mean if I'm lucky enough to avoid being caught then, eventually I will get too old and have to stop but I don't know if I would ever just stop... Why do you ask, do you want to stop?"

"What would happen if I did?" Asks Dean "What if I did just want to stop? What would that mean for us?"

"Nothing, it wouldn't change anything. I don't love you because you kill with me I love you because I love you...  It's not like I'm going to force you to kill people or be a part of it if you don't want that anymore. Do you want to stop?"

Dean looked at Castiel "No I don't want to stop, not yet anyway. I just wondered what that would mean if I ever wanted to stop before you did but for now I'm happy to carry on helping you. But I'd like us to have a life too. I don't want it to just all be about killing people. If we move, I want to get a job, I want us to have a house, I want us to do things together, like holidays... Normal couple things. I want to celebrate Christmas with you and New Year and Valentine's Day. I don't want to think about killing all the time. I want to spend more time thinking about you than our next target" 

"Maybe we make some rules then when we move. Put a limit on jobs, put a minimum distance on where a job can take place from where we live" Said Castiel as Dean shuffled closer to him on the bed. 

"Yeah," Said Dean settling his head on Castiel's shoulder so that his face presses lightly against his neck "That sounds good. But what would you do, if you got caught?" He Asked

"You think I am going to get caught?" Castiel shot back, frowning slightly

"God, no. I just mean... hypothetically. And actually in case that ever did happen, shouldn't we have a plan?" Dean said thoughtfully "Like what would you want me to do? To say?" 

"Nothing. I'd want you to run" Said Castiel simply

Dean frowned deeply at Castiel "I wouldn't leave you" 

"You said you'd do what I told you, you promised to be what I needed. Well, I am telling you, should I ever get caught, to run. I need you to be safe" 

"Would you?" Dean sat up, annoyance evident on his face "Would you run, if I got caught?" 

"It would not be easy, but... yes" Lied Castiel "There would be no sense in both of us getting locked up, if one of us is able to carry on the work, we should" 

"You'd leave me... Alone, locked away, for life" Said Dean looking at Castiel as though he just stabbed him "I don't believe you" 

"Even if I handed myself in, or attempted some kind of jailbreak and was caught... They wouldn't put me anywhere near you Dean. We'd both be prisoners, monsters would roam free and we wouldn't be together" 

"I don't believe you" Repeated Dean firmly, folding his arms over his chest and lying down "You're lying" 

"Let's just hope we don't get caught," Said Castiel feeling awful for having to hurt Dean, but he needed Dean to be safe, if he was ever caught and Dean handed himself in... they wouldn't be put together, Dean would have sacrificed his own freedom for nothing and Castiel would never forgive himself. If hurting Dean's feelings a bit now, could possibly spare him countless years by behind bars, it was worth it.  

In truth, if Dean ever got caught for crimes of the list killer... Castiel would confess to everything. He'd go down for life, and Dean... If he played his part, would only get a few years for aiding a criminal. Castiel would tell the press, the judge, whoever would listen... That he'd been planning on pinning everything on Dean, that he'd made Dean believe he loved him to use him as the 'fall guy'. But then, he'd started to really fall for Dean and couldn't do that to the innocent man he loved...

"You know I love you, don't you?" Asked Castiel softly. Dean didn't respond, he just glared at the ceiling "Dean?"

Dean turned over, so he was laying with his back to Castiel.

"Dean? I would want you to leave... to be safe" Castiel tried again 

"You're either lying to me or you'd leave me to rot... Which of these guys do you want to be Cas? Because I don't lie to you and I know I wouldn't leave you" 

"I'm the guy who couldn't stand the thought of you throwing away your freedom for me..." 

Dean sat up, glaring at Castiel "I know you would do that for me though Cas, I fucking know you would... So why, why is it ok for you to do it and not me?" 

"Because I love you" Castiel almost shouted at Dean "Because I never imagined in a million years I would get to feel about anyone the way I feel about you and because I dragged you into all this in the first place..."

"I wouldn't be able to keep going... You would. You're the one who's good at it. I just make mistakes and fuck up" Said Dean not backing down "The whole point of this was to get bad guys off the street, you could still do that without me, you did it before without me... And I love you every bit as much so that is a bullshit excuse" 

"Dean..." Castiel said suddenly sounding calmer "You don't understand... If you got caught, If we... got separated. I couldn't carry on... I doubt I could do much of anything... I wouldn't even care about ending any more of those bastards lives..."

"But why?" Said Dean disbelievingly 

"Because I love you, more than I hate them" 

"But I feel the same"

Castiel dropped his head into his hands in frustration, he shook his head as he brought it up again to look at Dean "Why can't you see yourself the same way I see you? You don't even know how important you are, how special you are! Of course, I know how to kill people, I lived with a cop since I was thirteen years old. I should know how to get away with crimes, I've been training for it, perfecting it for years. But you, you come wandering into my life like some god damn underwear model and two weeks later you've quit smoking, two months later you can play the piano, six months later and you have me feeling things, no one has ever made me feel anything close to how I feel when I am with you... I just did the job. But you can do anything you put your mind to Dean, that's what makes you so special. My life was black and white and then you came into it and you brought all the color with you... Please, if I go down, please promise me that you won't try and get me out, that you'll run. Promise me, that if you get caught you will deny everything so that I can come in and confess. Promise me, Dean?"

Dean looks sadly at Castiel "I already told you Cas... I don't lie to you"

"I won't let you get locked away Dean"

"You don't think I could handle it?" Asked Dean 

"Rather the opposite, I don't think I could handle it on the outside, not without you, not now"

"Of course you could, you managed before" 

"But before I had Ellen, my work, and my home..."

"It was your idea to move and sell your clinic..." 

"I know that Dean, I'm not _blaming_ you, I'm just explaining... They are my anchors, I'm giving them up so that we are safer... If we move and it still goes wrong... I would have nothing left... You have already proved you are capable of doing anything you put your mind too, moving on would be difficult but you could do it... I would fair better in prison, living life by a routine. But you could start again, live a normal life, find..."

"I swear if you say 'find someone else' I am going to be so pissed Cas," Said Dean cutting Castiel off

"I just want you to be safe and happy" 

"I'm happy with you. I'm not leaving you, you're not leaving me. End of story" 

"You're infuriating" Scowled Castiel finally giving in

"I think I'm adorable," said Dean a small smirk on his lips

"You know, normally I just kill the people who piss me off" Chuckled Castiel

"Well, I'm flattered that I'm still alive" Said Dean smiling wide before saying "If we get caught lets just blame everything on Bela" Castiel and Dean both laugh, breaking the thick tension of their conversation. 


	56. Oh Canada

"I'm just asking for a couple of days," Said Dean giving Castiel his best 'puppy eyes' "Please?" 

"We are here to see if the area is suitable to move to, not for a holiday, we already spent an entire day yesterday in bed..." 

"I know" Said Dean slightly proudly "I'm still sore"

"Well, you did ask for it, Dean" Smiled Castiel thinking back to how he'd tied Dean up the night before and fucked him senseless. 

"I know and in a day or two, I'm gonna ask for it again" Smirked Dean "Come on Cas, you'll have plenty of time to check the place out and check off whatever list you got going on in that head of yours, give me one or two days to be in charge of... where we actually get to have some fun?" 

Castiel rolled his eyes, but then a grin split his face and he unzipped his trousers "Ask me again... on your knees"  

***

"You want to run that by me again?" 

"They've been gone for three days" 

Paul Richards locked his fingers together and brought the back of his hand up to his mouth, breathing in deeply through his nose... A pause, his eyes flick up to meet Matts... 

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?" He Explodes "You let a probable serial killer and his sugar daddy go missing! What are you?? Some kind of MORON!" 

"We should inform the police," Said Matt clenching his fist but not rising the man's outburst

"And tell them what? Exactly? That we suspect Dean Winchester for being the list killer, that we've likely tipped him off to the fact that someone is on to him and he may have fled the fucking country?" 

"We can show them the information we have... They can question Bela and Benny. Put out a warrant... " 

"No. If Dean doesn't know already, getting Bela arrested would be like hanging a fucking sign. A 'we know it was you' bloody banner" Richard's rubbed his hands over his face "Do you think they caught on to you, what you were up to?"

Matt thought for a moment, he didn't think that Dean or Castiel had noticed him... But then there was that mystery messenger... Who were they? Could they have tipped Dean off, the truthful answer was yes. They could have. But for some reason... He didn't think that they had... "No"

Paul Richard's scratched his face thinking, he walked to his desk and dropped into his computer chair, turning his laptop on "Bloomfield, did you have any pets when you were younger?" He says

Matt blinks in surprise at the change of topic "Yes, I had a dog, Milo"

Richards just nods, pulling his mobile phone from his pocket and calling the number on his screen, withholding his own number... "Yes, hello... My dog, Milo is very sick. I was told that Mr. Shurley is one of the best vets in the area, is there any chance I could get an appointment with him today?" 

Matt watched Richards speaking on the phone, his eyes darted from the desk to him, he nodded and smirked slightly "I see, on holiday? When will he be back? I see, no... no. Thank you. I'll find someone else, I only go off recommendations, but thank you" 

He hung up and looked at Matt "There on holiday... Gone for two weeks. Now, if you think you're up to it. Keep an eye on Bela" 

Matt nodded, before turning and leaving. His face set with an annoyed look of determination. ' _Bela's not the only one I'll be keeping an eye on'_

***

"Two plates of bannock and bacon, please"  Said Casitel ordering for himself and Dean at the little cafe they had found after Dean had gone down on Castiel for almost ten minutes, only stopping when Castiel had spilled his come deep down Dean's throat... 

Dean was sat across from him now, absolutely not sulking that he hadn't got off when Castiel had. They eat their meals and then wander off looking around, Castiel sees a few nice properties for rent that he tells Dean he likes the look of, they have attached garages - which Castiel informs Dean is very important, for their work. Over the next two weeks, they will look around for place's they could both work that are near to a property they like. Castiel writes a few addresses down intending to google them, to make sure they don't stand out for any reason. 

"Is there anything you would want?" Asked Castiel looking at Dean "I mean, house-wise?"

"A garden? So we could do bbq's" Said Dean after a moment 

"Yes, I would like a garden, anything else?" 

"A huge bed" Smirked Dean, winking at Castiel

Castiel raised an eyebrow at him "Well, obviously" 

***

The day seems to fly by, Castiel leading Dean (sometimes by the hand) through the streets. They stop for dinner and they split a dessert of cherry pie which Dean absolutely loves. As they walk back toward their motel in the evening they see a bench near the falls and decide to stop there to watch the sun go down, Dean resting his head against Cas' arm. 

"I like it here," He says - and it's true, away from all the fear of the police turning up, away from Paul Richards threats of finding them... it's peaceful. 

"I like it here too," Agrees Castiel "I like being here, with you"  

 

***

Back in their hotel room, Castiel lies down next to Dean and puts a hand against his back.

"Are you going to sleep, Dean?" 

"Well, I was going to... Why? What's up?" Dean turns over to come face to face with a completely naked Castiel, sporting an enticing looking erection and a coy smile...

Dean's eyebrows shoot up as his eyes rake down Castiel's body... "Holy shit Cas" 

Castiel smiles "You really thought I wasn't going to take care of you today?"

"What?"

"After this morning, you are cute when you pout, Dean... But you're even hotter when you're shaking and trembling underneath me"

***

The whole room is shaking, dust falls from the light shade and sprinkles down to the carpet. The headboard of the bed bangs into the wall loudly, cracking flakes of drywall from it and the wooden slats beneath the mattress creak...

"Uh, FUCK CAS" Dean grits his teeth as Castiel rams his unyielding cock deeper and deeper "Don't stop, don't... Ahhh Shit"

Castiel plows himself into Dean, deep and rough, there is something wild, almost primitive about it... He bears down over him like a silver-back mating it's female... Grunting above him and dripping tiny beads of sweat from his forehead on to Dean's back. 

It was around the time that Castiel put a hand either side of the back of Deans neck, he stopped just pounding in... and went even further, with each powerful thrust he would flush himself against Dean's ass, then press in even more, so that all of his thick cock was fully buried deep within Dean. 

"Oh... Uh fuck" Dean's face was pushed into the pillow, which was getting slightly damp from his sweat, his mouth hangs open between his profanities as though trying to filter more oxygen from the air. "Oh! Fuck, Cas... YES, keep going..." 

Castiel is shaking now, panting hard, hitting into Dean, like all of him is meant to fit in him and he refuses to give up until he gets in completely... Dean's going to be sore tomorrow, hell, even Castiel's aware he may have some slight chafing from this session, he'd have to top up their lube supply for sure... But the sounds coming from Dean and the amazing feeling of his cock squeezing into Dean's tightness makes it, easily worth it. 

Finally, Castiel growls out... "Aghhh fuck Dean, you're going to make me come..."

"Uh shit... Yeah do it... oh... fuck me and... fuck... fill me up Cas" 

Castiel spills himself into Dean, hot and thick, filling him up, his hips grind against Deans ass as he milks himself into Dean for every last drop...   


	57. Fun Day

'Fun day' started under the soft sheets of their double bed, the morning sun broke through the slight gap in the curtains to light up the room with a warm orange glow. Dean wakes up first, with a quick sideward glance at Castiel he slips beneath the sheets and positions himself between Castiel's legs. Castiel waking moments later with Dean's mouth wrapped around his swelling dick. 

Castiel huffs out a laugh "I hope you're not getting morning breath all over my cock Dean" He says jokingly 

Dean's head pops up and the sheet is pulled back slightly so Castiel can see his face "I can stop... If you want" He says, with a cocky smirk on his face. Castiel just grabs him by a fistful of hair and shoves his face back down into his crotch.

Dean says something that sounds like "Oi" but it gets muffled as his mouth lowers over Castiel's cock again. 

"Don't talk with your mouth full Dean, it's rude" Castiel's smirk is quickly replaced with a wince and he closes his eyes tightly as Dean pinches his thigh gently before licking over the head of his dick wetly. 

***

Dean and Castiel walk into the diner and are shown to a booth by a blond-haired waitress. 

"May we have a menu and jug of ice water, please?" Says Castiel to the waitress as he sits down on the high backed red leather booth chair "Two glasses" The waitress nods and walks away, returning with a couple of menu's and leaving again to get their water. 

"I don't like water" Grumbles Dean sitting down in the booth across from Castiel.

"You need to stay hydrated Dean," Said Castiel matter-of-factly.

"It's meant to be a fun day," Says Dean pulling a face as he looks at Castiel 

Castiel narrows his eyes at Dean before saying "Then you may have a straw" 

Dean rolls his eyes and picks up the menu in front of him. 

"So what do you have planned for us today?" Asked Castiel 

"Nope, not telling you... it's a surprise" 

"Dean," Says Castiel looking over the top of his menu at Dean with a hard gaze "You know very well that I detest surprises" 

"And I _detest_ water" Dean smiles petulantly and Castiel just shakes his head, plucking a straw out of the straw holder and dropping it into Dean's glass when the waitress places it on the table in front of Dean. Castiel thanks the waitress with a smirk and lowers his eyes back to the menu, thinking of maybe trying that 'punishing' thing he'd seen online when he'd been researching control kinks...

"Pancakes?" Said Dean his tone that of a child pleading

"Fine" Castiel lowered his menu "Pancakes" 

***

"Could you stop that?" Says Castiel watching as Dean licks the syrup from his fingers 

Dean looks up, surprised "What?" 

"Licking your fingers like that... You are making me want to do very inappropriate, for a family establishment, things to you" 

Dean smiles "Oh you mean... this?" He wraps his lips around his finger down to the knuckle and sucks it slow as he slides it back out of his mouth, his eyes never leaving Castiel's. 

Castiel swallows "Yes. That"

Dean's nods and looks down at his plate and as he looks back up at Castiel his eyes sparkle, he takes his fork and stabs at a piece of pancake, popping it into his mouth, he exaggerates a moan and drags the fork back over his lips... 

Even with his wake up blow job, Castiel can feel his cock thickening as he stares at Dean's mouth. It amazes him how absolutely Dean affects him now... when they first met, Castiel could see he was a good-looking man, but now... Dean only had to throw a wink in his direction for Castiel to be thinking about when they would get their next fuck. After their pancakes and Castiel making Dean drink all of his water, they leave, Dean doesn't notice as Castiel slips the little bottle of syrup into his pocket before they go... Castiel can do surprises too. 

Half an hour after leaving the diner and Dean is being fucked up against the side of a stall in a public toilet. Castiel coats one finger with syrup and puts one hand over Dean's mouth the syrup slicked finger sticking in Dean's mouth with him sucking down on it. Castiel's other hand is gripping Dean's shoulder holding him in place. Whatever plans Dean had made for the morning were forgotten as buried himself deep within him, over and over...

***

In the afternoon Dean leads Castiel to the Niagara Speedway, go-karting track.

"Really?" Says Castiel laughs "Isn't this for kids?" 

Dean gives Castiel a pretend horrified offended look and says "How dare you" 

Castiel just smiles and shakes his head following Dean through the entrance...  

"I went go-karting a couple of times with Sam, he loved it..." Dean told Castiel as they waited to pay at the counter. Castiel turned to Dean, realizing that this meant something to Dean and he was choosing to share it with him. 

"I'm sure it will be very enjoyable Dean," He says fondly "Thank you for sharing this with me"

"Thank me at the finish line after I've kicked your butt," Says Dean grinning  

*** 

Castiel pulls a face but doesn't complain as he zips up the overall driving suit. He thoroughly inspects the inside of the helmet but putting it over his face, his inspection includes but is not limited to a sniff test... He ignores Dean laughing behind him and fastens the helmet in place. 

He climbs into his kart and sits down, it's a small slightly confining space but when he looks over to Dean and see's him give him a thumbs up, he sighs and pulls his seat belt over himself. He'd do it for Dean, no matter how uncomfortable he felt wearing clothing that strangers had worn, a helmet that had protected the heads of god only knows how many people, he doubted the helmets ever got properly cleaned... He took a long steadying breath and gripped the steering wheel, waiting for the lights to turn green... 

RED... AMBER... GREEN!!! 

The tires screech slightly and he's off... Dean taking the lead straight away. Castiel was vaguely aware of music playing around the track but he couldn't make it out, he didn't care anyway, he was completely focused on driving and trying to catch up to Dean who had a lead of roughly the length of three go-karts. He snorted a laugh into his helmet as he considered that this was the second time today he was coming up Dean's rear...

Castiel couldn't describe the feelings he was experiencing from racing. It is an emotional rollercoaster, he wanted Dean to do well, have fun, be safe... But he also... wants to win. He isn't even aware whether he is breathing anymore, as he speeds around each corner with concentration. Everything else slips away, everything, planning murders, trying to sell his clinic, trying to find a new house, with Dean... It's was left at the starting line and now there is nothing left but that competitive drive to push forward and be the best... 

Dean wins. Castiel steps out of his go-kart a slight frown on his face. 

"Awh, come on Cas your not a sore loser are you?" Smiles Dean 

"No," Says Castiel "Well done Dean" 

Dean frowns after Castiel stopping him with a hand on his arm "Hey... What's wrong?" 

Castiel stares at him for a moment "That was fun..." 

"You sure, because you look kinda..." 

"It just made me realize... I didn't do anything like this as a child. My father... Well. And then when I lived with Ellen, most of the time I hid away in my room... "Castiel lowered his voice "I'd been abused and killed my own father... I wasn't a child anymore..." 

Dean swallows, thinking "So you didn't have a fun childhood..." He smiles squeezing Cas' arm "You don't have to be a kid to have fun Cas"

"I'm not good at 'fun' Dean" 

"It's ok," Says Dean taking Castiel's hand "I am, I'll show you, we can try all the things you wanted to when you were a kid" 

"There is something... I... Never mind" 

"What?"

"Well, there is something I read about that... I wouldn't mind trying, with you..." Castiel's cheeks heat up and turn slightly pink "But it wasn't something I wanted to do as a kid... It's a very, adult thing" 

"What is it?" 

Castiel stops and turns to face Dean, looking into his eyes before saying clearly "Do you have any experience with... BDSM?" 

Dean's eyes widened "What like acting like a dog and walking around on fours with a collar, no" 

"That's not... Well, I guess that is part of it, but that bit doesn't appeal to me... but some of the other stuff does..."

"I tell you what... you try some 'fun' with me and I'll, within reason, try whatever kinky shit you want to do" 

Castiel smiles at Dean "Deal" 


	58. On The Edge

It's the last day before they are dew to make the trip back home. Dean is staring at Castiel with a look of shocked hurt across his face. 

"You can't say shit like that to me," He says blinking out a frown

"Dean... let me explain" 

"Why? It makes no sense" Snaps Dean, panicking he rubs the back of his neck, he doesn't know when he started pacing - it just sort of happened "Why don't you want me..." 

"Listen, I have to go back. I have to sell the clinic, my house... " Begins Castiel

"Your house? Funny I thought I lived with you... Paid toward it" 

"Sell our house" Corrects Castiel "And take care of Paul Richards... Then I will come back. You're already safe, here... It will be harder to get us both across the border again if something goes wrong" 

"We are meant to be a team. Partners" Says Dean angrily "To work together"

"We are" Sighs Castiel eyes following Dean as he paces in front of him. 

"I'm coming back with you Cas, you can't just leave me here... It's bullshit" 

"It's bullshit that I want to keep you safe?" Says Castiel clenches his jaw, getting annoyed now.

"No, it's bullshit that you don't think I want to be there to keep you safe too. We are meant to work together... Wasn't that the whole point of Ellen bringing me to you in the first place? If we weren't together, you'd want me to come with you... You think because we are together we're weaker? You're wrong, we're stronger because we care more" 

Castiel sighs and Dean knows he has won. 

"Alright, you can come back with me" He looks at Dean "But... I just want to remind you that you promised to do whatever I asked..."

"Then don't ask me to stay, because I don't want to break any promises to you, ever... But I am coming back with you. No matter what"  Dean walks up to Castiel and looks into his eyes, hands gripping softly on his arms "I can't stay here, without you. Worrying about how long it's taking you to come back to me, worrying about the hundreds of things that could go wrong, thinking about all the ways I could have helped if anything did go wrong. Wondering why you haven't called when you said you would, being too far away to get to you if you need me... You can't ask me to do that,... you just can't" Dean's breathing is strained and stuttery by the end of his speech as he barely contains his emotion, at the thought of Castiel leaving him here alone, or getting into trouble and needing him and him not being there. 

Castiel leans his head forward so that his and Dean's foreheads rest against each other "Okay... Okay Dean" He wraps his arms around Dean's waist and just holds him, he holds him until his breathing evens out. Then tilts his head to capture Dean's lips in a light kiss, when he pulls back he softly says "I'm sorry" 

Dean sighs and nods, meeting his eyes. 

Surprisingly, Castiel grins at him "You know" He says with a raised eyebrow "You're very sexy when you're angry" 

Dean can't help it, he laughs, his body relaxing. "Asshole," He says in an amused tone

Castiel's smile grows, reassured that he is calming Dean down "You are. I mean you obviously are anyway... But there's just that little something _extra_ when your all angry and worked up" 

Castiel can see the exact moment that Dean picks up on his desire... Dean's eyes widen "Oh yeah?" He says head tilted in question... 

"Yes," Says Castiel pushing forward again and kissing him hotly. Castiel will never admit to Dean that one of the reasons he wanted to come on this trip in the first place was to try and convince Dean to stay here while he went and finished their business in New York. He'd wanted him to stay, where he was safe, maybe find an apartment for them, start looking for a job... But Dean's reaction had overwhelmed him, he couldn't ask Dean to stay here now and what's more, Dean was right, they are a team, stronger together. Better together. Happier. Together. 

Castiel pulls back from Dean "I love you" 

Dean's smile brightens his very heart "I love you too. Just stop suggesting stupid shit like that and we'll be fine" 

"Okay, I do have one other suggestion though... How we could spend our last night here?" 

*** 

"I didn't think this through," Says Dean laughing softly "You're just going to go home without me now, aren't you?" 

Castiel tested the strength of the ropes, made sure that they weren't too tight around Dean's ankles and wrists and then looked at his face, meeting his eyes... 

"Leave? With you looking like this? I don't think I could even if I wanted to... You look incredible" He breathed as his eyes traveled over Dean's completely naked form, tied to the bed, ready "If you want to stop... at any point..." 

"I know, I know, I'll tell you" 

"It's important Dean, I don't want you to feel like you need to keep going for me... The moment that it becomes too much or you just want to stop. You'll tell me and we will stop, alright?" 

"I swear I will tell you," Said Dean reassuringly. Castiel nodded allowing his eyes to feast on the sight before him once more "So... What are you going to do to me?" Asked Dean, his voice a mix of nerves and excitement.  

"I'm going to stimulate your erogenous zone, those are the area's on your body that have a heightened sensitivity, like... your mouth" Castiel taps on Dean's mouth with the horsewhip he'd bought a few days earlier "Your throat" He slides the whip gently over Dean's neck watching as Dean's eyes close "Your nipples" He taps over the tiny little buds on Dean's chest... thinking to himself how much he would like to lick them, soon, he tells himself "Your groin" He draws the whip over Dean's skin down to his groin, avoiding his thickening cock until he says "Your cock" Dean's breath hitches as the whip glides down the length of his shaft "And..." The whip dips suddenly, landing with a soft slap against Dean's balls making him flinch slightly. Castiel smiles "I'm going to stimulate those areas until you're on the very edge..."  

Dean swallows but doesn't speak. He just looks up at Castiel, eyes wide, lips parted ever so slightly.

"If you begin to suffer from Vasocongestion, you need to tell me," Said Castiel then at the utterly lost look on Dean's face he added "Blue balls" 

"Oh... Oh!" 

"If you're very, very good," Said Castiel seeming to fall into some kind of character now "I may let you come" He places the whip on the side of the bed and climbs up between Dean's legs, resting on his knees. 

"What's the point of this?" Asks Dean

"You know what the point is, I already explained it to you" Castiel's hands are on Dean's thighs now, stroking over them with light touches... 

"But an orgasm is an orgasm, why make me wait for ages for it?" Said Dean, he was already feeling a warmth between his legs as blood started to fill his cock.

"A prolonged state of sexual arousal and orgasm control means you can experience a longer or more intense orgasm. I want to give you the greatest orgasm of your life Dean... You gave me mine" 

Dean looks surprised for a moment, but then smiles... because of course, he gave Castiel his best orgasm, he is the only person he's ever slept with "Ok, I get it. Mr. Possesive" 

"Are you ready?" Dean nods "Alright then... You are not allowed to swear"  

 "What? Ah..." Dean forgets his question as Castiel grabs his half-hard cock straight away and with no hesitation, sinks his mouth over it sucking deeply... "Oh sh- God" 

Castiel can taste the pre-come on the end of Dean's cock within a minute. His hand is wrapped around the base of Dean's thick shaft as his mouth and tongue skillfully work the tip and Dean is squirming and moaning on the bed, beneath him. 

Dean's mouth is pressed tightly closed to stop the swear words that are desperate to come out from making it past his lips... He never realized how much he must swear during sex, but now - with not being allowed too... It's all he can do to bite down on his lip and think ' _Holy shit that feels fucking amazing...'_  rather than say it out loud.  

Castiel brings Dean to the edge... licking and stroking and massaging his balls in his other hand... 

"Ahhh" Dean's breathy and beautifully pink-cheeked "Ahh I'm going come, ahhh yes, don't stop, don't... what the hell?" Dean looks up with a puzzled expression as Castiel moves his mouth away from his cock... Then he remembers... "Oh come on..." 

Castiel smiles, he gives Dean around fifteen seconds to recover, before he starts again, one hand stroking up and down on his cock slowly, the other moving over Dean's chest to one of his nipples and giving it a sharp pinch then smoothing over it... 

And so it goes on... 

Castiel teases Dean with kisses, torments him with his tongue, frustrates him with his fingers and makes him moan out loud with his mouth... 

"I need to come, come on..." He pleads "Please... let me shoot"

The muscles in Dean's legs are twitching and trembling and every time he gets close to coming, Castiel pulls his mouth off him and stays just out of reach and Dean's trying to push his hips up to chase it, but the ropes hold and he drops back into the mattress with a needy groan... He tries to press his legs together, just to get any contact against his cock, but again, the ropes hold him spread wide and he grumbles.

"Come on, please Cas" Dean is begging and it's music to Castiel's ears "You gotta let me in your mouth, please?" 

"Go ahead Dean," He says leaning over Dean's cock again, mouth open, tongue sticking out, just out of Dean's reach. Dean pushes his hips up again, in an attempt to thrust his cock into Castiel's mouth, but he can't quite reach and his cock just touches tips with Castiel's tongue.

"Fuck," Says Dean in frustration, then clamps his mouth shut tight as he realizes what he's said.

"Dean, did you just swear?" Asks Castiel, seeming somewhat pleased about it "You know the rules were not to swear and I was just about to let you come... I think we are going to have to add on another few minutes"

"Noooo" Groans Dean eyes closing 

"We will just slow down the stimulation, just a little bit... but I will keep touching you, to maintain a heightened level of sensation," Castiel says it all in a low voice, for 'dirty talk' it's very clinical but it still manages to make Dean moan and thrust up into nothing as Castiel uses the horsewhip again, tracing lines over his body and around his nipples "Your body is so amazing Dean, so perfect" 

"Let me come," He asks again "Please" 

"Not just yet" 

"Damn it" Growls Dean, his body is shaking now, his cock is a ragingly hard and a deep purple color.

"Dean," Says Castiel his tone indicating a warning

"That's not a swear word" Replies Dean hurriedly "Doesn't count" 

"I'll decide what counts or not, thank you" 

Dean closes his mouth and his eyes and thinks... He needs to come up with something he can say instead of 'Fuck' because he needs to come... When he feels Castiel's hand wrap around the head of his dick once more, he goes with the first thing that comes to mind not caring if he sounds stupid, he's desperate... 

"Ahhh Fudge," He says "Yes. Stroke my dick Cas... Ahh" Dean's face is a wonderful shade of pink and his breathy little gasps tickle their way up Castiel's spin, it's all too fucking hot and Castiel wants to let Dean come soon... But there is one more thing he wants to do first... 

He moves backward and climbs down off the bed, pulling his shirt off in haste, with Dean watching him, eyes wild, from where he is bound to the bed. He grabs his trenchcoat and pulls a small box from the pocket, opening it where Dean can't see. He places the wrappings in the bin and walks back over to Dean with what looks like a small rubber ring. 

He takes Dean's swollen and sensitive cock in his hands and pushes on the cock ring...

"Mnnphh" Dean grits his teeth, eyes closing for a moment as he holds in a profanity "What are you..." He tries to ask as Castiel steps back, he pulls his own pants and boxers down and gets back on the bed. Flicking the little button on the cock ring before climbing up and over Dean. 

Dean jumps slightly as the cock ring starts to buzz pleasantly... torturously? Over his shaft. It keeps him ragingly hard, teetering on the edge, but it's just not enough to send him over... 

Suddenly, there is a hard cock in front of his eyes, as Castiel settles himself over Dean's face, one knee on either side of his head... 

"I'm going to come on your face" 

Dean's lips part in surprise, but he nods as Castiel moves his hand up and down on himself, it's fast and rough and completely mesmerizing and Dean can tell when Castiel is getting close... and opens his mouth, his tongue rests against his bottom lip... 

Castiel, seeing this... groans loudly and bites his lip as he comes... All over Dean's face and tongue... "Jesus Dean... You're fucking amazing" He pants as he slides back down Dean's body, leaving his come on his face... He takes the cock ring off Dean and lowers his mouth once more, sucking and nibbling and massaging and squeezing and swallowing around it until Dean, finally, shoots his load, hard to the back of Castiel's throat with a low groan and Cas swallows it all... Before finally coming up for air.

"Oh my god, Cas..." Is all Dean can pant out before closing his eyes and relaxing into the bed... Utterly fucked out. 

Castiel goes to the motel bathroom for a flannel and cleans Dean's face, before untying him. He lays down next to him, his lips pressing soft kisses against Dean's shoulder... 

And they sleep...  

 


	59. Home

The door closes behind Castiel and he looks around him, Dean is already racing up the stairs, having needed the toilet for the last half hour of the drive, Castiel had offered to pull into a services but Dean had waved it off, assuring Castiel that he could hold it as he was not 'a child'. 

Castiel looks around. He wonders how long he and Dean have left under this roof. His hand skims over the surface of the kitchen island as he moves toward the fridge, pulling open the door he pulls out a bottle of water, there isn't much else in there, they'd cleared it out before going to Canada, he and Dean will have to go shopping. He pulls out his phone and texts Bela to let her know that they are home, when he looks up Dean is coming into the kitchen. 

"Better?" 

Dean smiles "Told you I could hold it" 

"You did," Says Castiel, before offering Dean the bottle in his hand "Water?"

"Fine," Says Dean rolling his eyes in a jokey manner. He takes a swig from the bottle before replacing the cap and putting it on the kitchen side "I'll just bring the bags in" Dean leaves to fetch their bags from Castiel's car. Castiel nods, distractedly he has begun to make up a shopping list in his head and he begins searching for a pen and notepad in the kitchen drawer and makes a quick note of things they will need to get. 

He sits at the piano strumming on the keys as he thinks over his list, trying to remember anything he may have forgotten... He feels eyes on him and looks up.  

Dean was stood in the doorway looking down at him with a soft smile. "You ok?"  

"Fine," Says Castiel smiling at him "It's been a while since you played," He adds looking up at Dean.

"Yeah," Agreed Dean "What was that you were just playing?"

Castiel began playing again as Dean watched. His fingers seem to dance effortlessly over the black and white keys.

"Sounds sad" Said Dean thoughtfully "Did you write that?"

Castiel bit back a smile "Yes, me and John Williams composed it together" 

A frown flashed across Dean's face "Who is John Williams?" He asked jealousy apparent in his tone 

Castiel laughed "It's the theme tune from Braveheart Dean, John Williams is a very famous composer, Jaws, Star Wars, Harry Potter... Indiana Jones..." 

Dean narrowed his eyes "You were playing me" He shook his head "Ass" 

Castiel smiled and stopped playing "Come here" Dean walks over to Castiel still pouting slightly "It's very cute that you felt jealous, but you will never have anything to worry about Dean, I only want you" Castiel kisses Dean lovingly "Play with me?" 

Dean sits next to Castiel and together they play Beethoven's, Fur Elise.

***

After unpacking their bags, which was mostly just throwing clothes into the washing machine and putting a few bits away. Castiel turned to Dean "Bela wants us to meet her tonight at Mickey's Bar, if we go we could get something to eat there and go shopping tomorrow?" 

"When will you start ordering your groceries online like a normal serial killer?" Tuts Dean jokingly 

Castiel frowns "Don't be silly Dean, we serial killers are effective coupon collectors and you can't use those online" 

Dean laughs "Good one, very thrifty" 

"But in all seriousness it's good to be seen doing normal things, smiling and be friendly to people..." Said Castiel "Blend in with the norm" 

***

"So did you guys have a nice trip?" Asks Bela as she pulls back from hugging them both when they approach hers and Benny's table. 

"Yeah," Said Dean "But I'm happy to be home," He says with a discreet and yet pointed look at Castiel, who rolls his eyes

"Dean made me go go-karting"

"You loved it," Smiled Dean "Don't even try to deny it" 

"It was more enjoyable than I had envisioned" Agreed Castiel

"Awesome" Smiled Bela "Well come and sit down and tell us what else you got up to" 

Dean laughed "Well... Cas does this thing with his tongue..." 

"Not that stuff," Said Bela smacking him lightly on the arm and Dean just laughed... 

***

A couple of hours later and it was Dean's turn to get the drinks in. He was just finished giving the barmaid his order when he heard a voice next to him...  

"Hey there," Says a sultry voice, that reaches Dean's ears even over the noise of the bar, he turns and smiles at the woman who'd spoken to him, giving her a polite nod before turning to face the bar again "How's your evening going?" She asks, surprising Dean

He turns to face her again "Good thank you, how about yours?" He doesn't really care, but it's polite to ask. 

The woman sighs "Lonely, I was meant to be meeting someone here but they bailed" Her voice is laced with that childish whine that some girls use when they want to seem 'cute'. 

"Sorry to hear that" Said Dean as he passes over the money for his drinks to the barman before adding "I'm sure things will pick up for you" 

The woman smiles and Dean can feel the flirtatiousness coming off it "Maybe it already has" She says coyly 

Dean looks at her, brows pulled together slightly, he doesn't want to be rude, but she is not taking the hint "Well, good night" He says as he reaches for his tray of drinks.

The girl reaches out, catching his hand before he reaches the tray and she smiles at him "Maybe we can make it a good night for both of us?" 

"I'm with someone," Says Dean flatly indicating the four drinks on his tray "And friends" 

She leans over, running her tongue over her lips, in a way that may have once, turned him on but frankly right now makes her look desperate and makes Dean feel slightly unclean "I can be your new friend" 

The girl has curled her long nailed, slender fingers around Dean's arm and he looks at it, where her hand holds on to him and then back up to meet her eyes ' _Is this chick for real?'_ "Look, love, you're very pretty and maybe once upon a time, we could have had a fun night... But as I have already told you I'm with somebody and honestly, you don't even come close to measuring up to _him_... and if you don't remove yourself from my person... things are going to get ugly real fast... Take the hint, No... means no." 

The girl huffs as Dean physically pulls her hand off his arm and she storms away looking scandalized... And Dean is left to wonder what the fuck her problem was and more importantly... when he had started talking like Castiel... 

Castiel is sat with Benny and Bela waiting for Dean to return with their drinks when he looks over to the bar, he see's Dean leaning in to talk to some woman who has her hand on him... He represses a shudder as he watches. Putting his glass down on the table carefully before it smashes between his fingers. A flare of possession sparks up within him ' _mine mine mine'_ as he watches. He is relieved to see that Dean peels the woman's fingers from his arm, gives her a scathing look and brings the tray of drinks back over to the table. 

"Everything alright?" He asks as Dean sits next to him 

Dean smiles at him "Course, I'm with you" 

"Jesus you are a sappy shit" Laughs Benny who'd overheard 

"There was some crazy broad at the bar... It made me realize how lucky I am, that's all" Said Dean "Single ladies be crazy" He jokes "I nearly had to set Bela on her" 

They all laugh and things seem to go back to normal. Castiel's hand gripping lightly on Dean's knee under the table and his eyes burning holes into anyone that so much as smiles at Dean, is totally normal... 

*** 

The woman walks out of the bar and crosses the street tapping on the blacked out windows of the car parked there, the door opens and she gets in.

"Fuck" Mutters Paul Richards "He didn't go for it then..."  

"Why you sent me in I don't know, it's clear that that guy likes the way the dick tastes..." She pouts pulling a cigarette from her purse and lights it "You should have tried a dude" 

Richards nods "Maybe," he says thinking "Or maybe I can try something... a little less subtle" 

The woman rolls her eyes "Whatever dude, I'm still getting paid right?" 

Paul Richards turns to look her over, eyes traveling down her body, the tight black dress she was wearing, the high heels... "I'm sure we can come up with another way for you to earn your money Lisa" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Braveheart Theme: An Amazing Piano Solo
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFFRzug1wfY


	60. Offers

It's been a couple of days since they returned from Canada and Castiel and Dean are in their kitchen, talking. 

"I've had an offer on the clinic," Says Castiel over breakfast "It's a good one too, they have even agreed to keep on the current staff. Of course, I would want that written into the contract, that they would keep them for at least a six month period" 

Dean looked up from his chopped fruit in yogurt (Not his idea of a 'hearty breakfast' but still) "You going to accept it?" 

"Maybe, I wanted to see what you thought first" 

Dean frowned "I don't know anything about running a business, if you think it seems legit then I'd trust your instinct" 

"My instinct," Said Castiel standing up and moving to stand next to Dean "Was to ask my partner what he thought before agreeing to anything" 

Dean fights a smile but loses "Well, I know you wanted your staff to keep their jobs so that's good... And it means I could keep working there till we're ready to move that way" 

Castiel nods and then smirks... "You could, as long as your habit of sleeping with the boss didn't continue too"  

Dean grins "Don't worry, my habit is sleeping with you, not bosses" 

"Good," Castiel said as he picked up Dean's bowl put it on the kitchen side when he'd finished "The contract for the clinic will take a few days to draw up and I will need to sort through all the paperwork and make sure everything is in order. Mr. Singer, who is looking at buying it will likely be coming in to visit and meet the staff at some point too" 

"You need me to do anything?" Asked Dean

Castiel looks at him an idea crossing his mind "I will be working late a few nights this week, you could help by being naked when I got home?" 

Dean's grin widens "I can do that"

"Starting tonight," Said Castiel "You have the day off... so Dean..." 

"Yes?" 

"I expect you to be  _ready_ for me too" 

"Fuck, yes Sir" 

*** 

Matt had kept an eye on Bela, following her around for a few hours every day for the past fortnight, it had been rather dull... Except for that one time her boyfriend had fucked her in his car... That had been rather entertaining, but he hadn't stuck around too long for that, he wasn't a creeper. 

In the evenings he'd spent most of his time looking into his boss's background. He couldn't find anything incriminating... He'd had a sister, that had died and he never spoke about her, but that didn't mean anything, maybe it was just too painful for him to talk about her.

He sipped his coffee and opened his laptop to the article he was reading about Paul Richards when a message pops up on his screen from 'Sender Unknown' 

_'Still doing the devils work?'_

Matt jumped slightly and stared at his screen for a moment before typing his reply 'I looked into his background and found nothing' 

_'Then you weren't looking in the right places'_

'Why should I listen to you if you won't even tell me who you are?' 

_'Fair enough, you want to know who I am? Meet me next Wednesday at Mickey's Bar, I know you know where that is, don't you Matt?'_

Matt stared at his screen, his heart hammering, was this Dean Winchester? Was this a trap? Had he not been as careful as he thought he had been? Before he'd typed a reply another message flashed up on his screen. 

_'This is a one time offer...'_

'You said curiosity killed the cat' He replied

 _'You want to know about your boss, I will tell you, but only in person'_   

'Fine. What time?'

_'Half eight'_

'How will I know who you are?'

_'I'll find you'_

*** 

Castiel comes through the door, it's dark outside, it's past eight in the evening and he is hungry. The smell of something delicious is coming from the kitchen, he inhales deeply... Garlic chicken... His stomach rumbles. 

"Dean?" He calls 

"Be right down" Comes Dean's voice from upstairs

Castiel shrugs his jacket off and loosens his tie as he walks into the kitchen. Two plates of what looks like garlic chicken, with new potatoes and carrots and in the oven keeping warm. He hears footsteps coming down the stairs and he smiles.

"Dean this smells amazing..." He cuts off as Dean appears, completely naked save for a bow tie around his neck. His skin is shiny with some kind of oil and his hair is styled to the side... All in all, he looked like a wet dream. Castiel just stares at him, open-mouthed "Dean..." 

"Naked. As requested. Sir" Says Dean looking at him with a twinkle in his eyes "And I thought you might be hungry, so... I got Bela to help me cook" 

Castiel was still staring at him "Dean... you. You look..." He looks from Dean to the oven and back "I don't know which I want to eat first..." 

Dean smirks and Castiel sees his cock twitch between his legs... _'Well, that settles that'_ He thinks and starts moving toward Dean

"No, you know what, fuck that...  I do know" Before Dean can even react Castiel is in front of him, lifting him up with seeming ease and carrying him over his shoulder to the table, where he lays him down and Dean makes a squeaking sound as his ass his the surface of the table, it doesn't take Castiel long to find out why, as he spreads Dean's legs wide intent on burying his face in Dean's ass, he stops, seeing a small purple butt plug stretching his hole... 

"Holy shit Dean," He says as he presses on the plug gently making Dean groan "You are so perfect... Amazing" 

"So Sir is pleased?" Asked Dean his voice playful 

"Dean..." Castiel breaths out his name like it's sacred like it is a prayer... He looks over Dean's body and then back up into his eyes "Touch yourself" 

Dean obeys and wraps a hand around his own cock, as Castiel stands over him, unbuttoning his shirt as he watches Dean stroke his cock. His shirt falls to the floor behind him, he toes off his shoes and starts working his belt out of his trousers... 

Dean's laid out before him back against the table, naked, eyes closed, lips parted with breathy little gasps passing through them as he grips himself... All the while, the purple plug still buried in his ass "Cas..." He moans out quietly "I want you" 

Castiel's response is to let his trousers fall to his ankles, carefully pull the plug from inside of Dean and drop it to the floor, he takes Dean's legs and pulls him back so that his cock rests against Dean's ass and then he lets Dean's legs rest against his shoulders... He has a wild look in his eyes as he meets Dean's and slips a hand between them to grip his own cock, which is now swollen and hard, and he holds it steady as he begins to push himself into Dean's waiting hole. 


	61. Spiders and Fly's

Wednesday Morning 

(Three days after the table sex)

"Cheers," Says Dean handing a tip to the delivery driver before turning and lifting the flat packed new table into the house, closing the door behind him. He pulls his phone from his pocket and calls Castiel. 

"Cas, the new table just came. No, it's alright he didn't have to come in the house" Dean laughs "Well, it would have been your own fault anyway for climbing on top of me on the table... No, I swear, my back is fine now. Yes, no... Benny should be round soon to help me put it up, ok? He won't be going into the bedroom Cas... So you signed the contract? How are you feeling about it being your last day? It'll be fine. Coz, I just know. Good luck. Love you, bye" Dean hangs up wondering for a moment when he became one of those people that ended a phone call with 'love you'... He'd never had that before and he smiled as he put his phone down on the kitchen side, liking the domesticity of it.  

Benny turned up half an hour later, in a salmon pink shirt and Dean throws his head back and laughs, his eyes weeping tears as he tries to calm himself enough to form actual words. 

Benny just stands staring at him, eyebrow raised "Bela got me this shirt"

"You're so whipped, dude," Says Dean as he wipes his eyes, still chuckling. 

"I think that would be a fair assessment of both of us in our current relationships," Says Benny looking pointedly at Dean, who shrugs. 

"I guess... But I'm ok with that," Says Dean a small smile playing on his lips "In fact, I'm much better than ok with that... This isn't just my 'current' relationship... This is it. I don't care if I sound like a big girl, but I love Cas and I don't see me with anyone else, ever" 

"Holy shit, you thinking of popping the question?" 

"What?" Dean turns to Benny a shocked expression on his face "No, that's not what I..." He stops "It wasn't what I meant, but thinking about it... I guess it kinda is what I meant..." 

"You make as much sense as square wheels" Laughs Benny, shaking his head "Right, we building a table or what?" 

"Yeah" 

"What happened to your other one anyway? And why aren't you in work today?" 

Dean could feel the heat rising up his neck "It... broke and... erm, I hurt my back" Benny doesn't seem to notice Dean biting back a smile. 

"I swear, your boss lets you get away with murder," Says Benny with a chuckle and shaking his head as he starts looking over the instructions to the table

Soon they are stood back admiring a sturdy looking brand new kitchen table. 

As Benny is leaving he turns to Dean and says pointedly "Try not to fuck this one into the floor, won't you?"

*** 

Wednesday Night 

Castiel walks through the door, his face is pale and has a tired look on it and his shoulders are hunched forward slightly. 

"What's the matter?" Dean asks frowning at him from his seat in the living room, he gets up and walks over to him "Cas?"

"Last day... Just feels weird... That's it. You know? I don't have a job, I just handed my business over to someone else..." 

"You will. Fresh start remember. We'll be fine" Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and pulled him close "How about I go and get us a takeaway? We'll stuff our faces and then I'll run you a bath? Sound good?" 

Castiel smiles at Dean "Sounds good. Thank you" 

Dean grabs his jacket from the closet "Chinese?" 

"You're a bad influence Dean" Laughs Castiel

Dean kisses Castiel's cheek before opening the front door and stepping out "Text me if you think of anything else you want"  

Mikey's Bar

Matt walks into the bar, his gun tucked under his shirt. His eyes scan the bar for any sign of Dean Winchester. He isn't there. He doesn't know what to do now, feeling wary he approaches the bar. 

"Shot of whiskey, please," He says to the barmaid 

"Sure thing, bad day?" 

"Not yet," He says throwing the shot back and handing her some change 

"Another?" She asks watching him carefully

"Sure" He pulls out a note and holds it out

"This one's on me," Says a woman taking a seat next to him and handing the barmaid some cash, she turns to meet his eyes and smiles "Matt" 

Matt gawks at her "You...you're?" 

The woman nods before leaning in "Now you need to listen to what I am going to tell you because you are about to be a fly between two spiders"

"Who _are_ you?" He asks

"My name is Charlie Bradbury... But once upon a nightmare, it was Penelope Richards..." 


	62. Substitutions

Just over a year ago... 

_"Hello Bela"_

_"Ellen" Smiled Bela "Everything alright?"_

_"You know what you told me last week...? About a certain doctors 'side-income'..."_

_Bela frowned slightly, lowering her voice "Doctor Frank Devereaux... Yes...?"_

_"Well... We're going to need his help... A woman, Penelope..."_

_Bela rolled her eyes "Branching out into blackmail now are we?"_

_Ellen smiled "Fucking right we are, amongst other things"_

Bela nodded "I'll get you an appointment with Frank." 

*

"Penelope Richards," Said Ellen looming over the stout doctor Frank Devereaux

Frank huffed "You know I don't normally do this for free?" 

"You will if you want to stay on the right side of me, I am in the police you know, I could make things very difficult for you... or very easy, which way do you want this to go? _"_

"Fine, what do you want? New ID?" 

"Yes," Said Ellen "And a death certificate" 

"Of course, can't start a new life if your old one is still following you around" Frank looked around him, seeing a newspaper on the table he picked it up, on the cover was a picture of Charlie Sheen, the story was about him battling his illness, a few pages in, a soccer manager by the name of Lee Bradbury caught his eye "Charlie, Bradbury?" 

"Fine," Said Ellen "Charlie Bradbury lives, Penelope Richards... dies. Today" 

"Cause of death?" Asks Frank looking up at Ellen

Her eyes narrow, what would be the most believable way for Penelope Richards to die... "Suicide"  

*** 

Now 

_"My name is Charlie Bradbury... But once upon a nightmare, it was Penelope Richards..."_

Matt stared at her, dumbstruck for a moment, but then the look of 'yeah right' slowly formed on his face "Penelope Richards... is dead" 

"Yeah, and I'll thank you to keep her that way," She said with a slight edge to her voice "Ellen Harvelle helped me fake my own death, just over a year ago some doctor gave me a new identity, he gave me a new life and as long as kept my nose clean, Ellen kept my secret... She believed me when no one else did, even though I couldn't prove it... She trusted me. So, when she came to me for help keeping her and her nephew's noses clean... I did. Which eventually included wiping Dean Winchester's file"

"Why did you fake your own death?" Asked Matt

Charlie shifted, glancing around before answering "Paul..." She rolled her eyes "My brother... He didn't have a lot of friends growing up, me and him were... close, I felt bad for him, the year he started high school, our parents were killed, run off the road by a drunk driver... Paul couldn't handle it, I think he felt like I was his responsibility after that, he always kept me close, would warn off any boys, or girls who showed an interest me. At first, I didn't mind it... Our parents had just died, I just wanted to be left alone, so Paul telling people to stay away from me... Worked for me. But I got better, he didn't. His hugs would start to last too long, brotherly kisses on the cheek turned into kisses on the lips and I didn't have the heart to tell him to stop, that it was getting... uncomfortable, he'd helped me, looked after me... I was sure it would just be a phase, that would pass... But it only ever got worse, he was obsessed with me... and trust me I know how that sounds, but that's how it was... He didn't like me having other friends, he didn't like 'sharing' me as he put it... He loved me, too much, in the wrong way... A few years after our parents died, my only other friend died... I was devasted, I was depressed, drinking and taking drugs... He told people I had lost my mind. Maybe it was true at first... But he somehow fixed it that he was my legal guardian and I had to live with him... My brother wasn't just abusing me... He'd begun poisoning me with small doses of hallucinogenic drugs... and high doses of caffeine so that I seemed jittery all the time... People thought he was looking after me but..." 

"He was keeping you, prisoner," Said Matt quietly finishing her sentence for her. Still not sure he was buying her story.

"He didn't see it that way... As far as he was concerned... We were together" 

"You think he may have killed your other friend?" Asked Matt

"I think it's entirely possible, his jealousy controlled him," Said Charlie "After I got out, I went through awful caffeine withdrawal... Then I went back to the only thing I'd ever been any good at, computers...  since Paul would never let me have friends in 'real life' I had made a few online friends. I took a computer course as Charlie Bradbury, with the fake life Ellen and her friend had set up for me, I'd learn how to hack into systems... like the police...  I was happy to help when she asked me to erase a file on Dean Winchester... Recently I spotted that someone was looking for that file, and my programme lets me know if my system is being broken into... That's how I found you"  

"Wait... You said you were protecting Ellen and her nephew... and recently... Dean Winchester..."

Charlie raised an eyebrow. 

"So, it's actually Castiel... The list killer is Castiel" 

"Castiel is the wolf, Dean's his apprentice, his shadow," Says Charlie calmly "If Paul is looking for the list killer... It's not to arrest him, it's because he knows he will be on that list. He isn't trying to protect the city... He is trying to protect himself" 

"We thought, I mean..." Matt looks at Charlie, somehow he finds himself trusting her words over those of Paul Richard's "I told him I believed that Dean Winchester is the list killer" 

***

Dean walks down the streetlight lit road, heading toward the takeaway, he pulls his phone out of his pocket to check if he has any requests from Castiel, there is an unopened message he pauses by the side of a closed shop to open and read the message... 

He suddenly feels a hand on the back of his head, pushing his head quickly forward into the wall, there's thud and then... darkness. His phone dropping to the ground...


	63. Setting The Chess Board

Charlie frowned "If he hasn't already, he will make a move against Dean..."

"Why are you telling me all this?" 

"Because I am trying to save your life," Said Charlie "I don't want my brother to get away with destroying someone else" 

"What do you mean?" Asked Matt looking around and lowering his voice "You think he will try to kill me?"

"Can't you see yet, you're being used? Either my brother will set you up or Castiel... will kill you. You know too much and right now, you're on the wrong side, helping the wrong person" 

Matt paled "I just... I just wanted my job back" This was all too much, he knew this was a dangerous job when he had took it... But at that point, he had believed he was on the right side and that Paul Richards was going to be in his corner... Now, he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. 

"Think about it... A disgraced cop, desperate, needs to catch a big fish... So desperate that when they corner said big fish, they make a mistake, they can't handle the 'arrest' a fight breaks out - The List Killer gets killed... You get blamed. My brother has had you leave a trail of breadcrumbs behind you as you hunt Dean and yet he remains squeaky clean. You're being set up" Charlie looked at him "Who are people going to believe? A cop who tampered with evidence that let a rapist walk free? Or a Mayoral candidate?" 

"No... He can't..." But even as he said the words, Matt thought about everything, he'd been the one watching Dean and Castiel in bars, watching Bela, searching for security footage of them... Like at the gas station. Paul Richards had even paid him in cash, saying he didn't want to be associated with the search until the list killer was found... Because failure would look bad to voters, but it made sense now... He was keeping his name clean. 

"You are a pawn, in a much larger game of chess. You've been placed all over the board... Exposed. And you're going to be sacrificed" Charlie caught Matt's eyes and held his gaze as she spoke "He will try to kill Dean Winchester and he will pin it, all of it... On you" 

"Fuck" Matt whispered more to himself than Charlie as he realized what she said made sense "Fuck, fuck, fuck"

"I am trusting you with this because I suspect my brother didn't look into why you were discharged properly... But I did. The way you tampered with the evidence in the case that ended your career... You weren't trying to get the guy off, you were trying to make sure he got sent down. You were trying to do the right thing, right?" 

"He would have walked. The woman that he hurt, she can't have kids now... She's... I found her, she was destroyed. Broken. I wanted him caught and sent down. But everything was to clean. I... I broke into his house... got a few hairs from his bathroom and put one in her panties at the station... I didn't know they had already been examined at that point... I ruined everything. I couldn't look that woman in the eyes again, her monster is free because of me" 

"But you were trying to do the right thing. That is why I am trying to save you now..." Charlie smiled sadly at Matt "Before my brother ruins your life like he ruined mine" 

"We have to go to the police" 

"No. Matt, if you go to the police you will have to tell them about me... About Dean and Castiel... And think about it, they have let you down before, it won't be in your control. You need to step back, distance yourself from Paul, I have a feeling Castiel is very close to going after him anyway, we should let him do, what he does best" 

"Let Castiel kill him?" 

"He is a monster, he needs to be put down, I know I would sleep better at night, wouldn't you?" 

Considering his answer for a moment, Matt nodded "Yeah, I would" He said honestly "I never liked him, but... I was foolish enough to respect him, I believed him"  

"He is very good at fooling people, he made everyone think I was crazy..." Charlie shook her head "Because I took drugs, everyone believed him over me..." 

Charlie was interrupted by a shrill ringing, Matt pulled his phone from his pocket and answered it without even looking at the screen, his eyes widened as the voice of Paul Richard's crossed the line and spoke to him... 

"It's him" Mouthed Matt to Charlie, who sat up and leaned closer trying to hear, Matt had spoken on the phone to Paul Richard's dozens of times... but this time... His stomach turned, knowing what the man was, what he had planned... He struggled to control his reactions, trying to remain calm whilst speaking to a man who planned to set you up for manslaughter, was no easy task. 

"Hello, Sir" Matt's eyebrows knotted together as he listened to Paul Richards "You followed him to where?" Matt shook his head to Charlie, something was wrong, something was happening... "Do you think he has his next victim in there?" He asked trying to think what he would say if he didn't know the grisly truth about his 'boss'. 

"I can be there in an hour, maybe sooner, don't go near him" He hoped his false concern sounded genuine enough, Charlie was nodding, he was doing alright "I'm on my way" He hung up and turned to Charlie, "I think he has Dean..."  

"We need to go, now," Said Charlie getting up quickly

***

Castiel looked at his watch, held it to his ear and shook it, the gentle 'tick, tick, tick' told him it was still working. Dean had been gone nearly an hour... He hadn't replied to his text and he hadn't answered when he'd called... Castiel told himself he would wait another half hour, before... Before what? He couldn't report Dean missing, it would draw too much attention. He would text Bela, maybe she had heard from Dean? Though he knew it was a long shot, he composed a short text to Bela asking her if she'd heard from Dean... He was not going to panic. He was _NOT_ going to panic... 

He paced his living room, glancing out the window every time he passed it, no Dean. Maybe there was a queue at the takeaway? Maybe his phone was on silent and he'd just not looked at it yet? Maybe the food was taking a while to cook, or Dean had run into someone he knew and got talking... Maybe he'd witnessed something, an attack of some kind, or an accident...

Maybe he'd been stopped by police... And was being taken away in handcuffs... 

"Shut up," Castiel said aloud to that terrifying little voice in his head "He is fine, he will be home any moment" 

A sharp knock at the door made him look up, Dean wouldn't knock? Unless he'd bought so much food that he had to knock rather than get his keys out of his pocket... He wouldn't put it past Dean, to be honest... 

"Coming," He said, trying to sound normal. He reached the door, praying Dean would be on the other side of it, hands full of bags of food grinning at him in that way he does when they 'have a night off' Castiel's diet... 

He opens the door, it's not Dean... 

"May I help you?" He asks, narrowing his eyes and voice sharp with a tone of mistrust. 

"No, but I think we might be able to help you Castiel. This is Matt Bloomfield... And my name is Penelope Richards" 


	64. When Wolves Meet Sheep

Castiel's surprise at meeting the meant-to-be-dead Penelope and finding out that a private investigator had been retracing his and Dean's steps, and following them around was nothing when compared with the anger and fear he felt at being told that Paul Richard's had taken Dean... 

He didn't bother to ask what happened to Penelope, he didn't bother to confirm that Matt was now, as he seemed to be... on 'their' side, somehow. He didn't care. There was only one thing he cared about right now, one person. His person. Dean was in danger. The thought that Dean could already be... No. He wasn't he would know, he'd feel it somehow. Dean was alive and Castiel would find him. And Paul Richard's would see that the list killer, usually so quick and clean with kills... had a messy side too. 

"Where are they?" Asked Castiel eyes blazing at Matt "I may be willing to overlook the fact you have been stalking me and my partner if you tell me... Right now, where Richards has taken Dean?"

"I... I thought he was going to take him to the police, I thought... I didn't know that..." 

"That Paul Richard's only interest in catching the list killer was to save himself? That you were working for a man who raped his own sister? Well, you do now, so for the last time... Where is Dean?" And though Castiel does not point his knife at Matt, there is a clear indication that Castiel will use force to find Dean's whereabouts if he must in the way that he looks from the blade in his hand, back up into Matt's eyes.  

*** 

Dean wakes, feeling dizzy and sickly, it feels as though his brain is pounding against his skull and he quickly realizes that there is something in his mouth, his tongue is dry. Opening his eyes, his vision is still blurry and the fact that it's dark does not help. But it smells damp and rusty, he figures he's in a warehouse or factory of some kind. There is a small camp lantern on a stool nearby, but other than that, he can't really see anything. All he knows is his head hurts and this is not home. 

His arms are tied behind his back and his legs are anchored to the chair legs, he can't move. He lifts his head from where it had sagged down into his chest and tries to look around... 

"You're awake" A voice comes swimming through the darkness, then footsteps draw nearer. And a man crouches down beside Dean, looking at him with disdain.

He struggles against the ropes and bites down against the thick material gag in his mouth, clenching his jaw and staring directly ahead as the man beside him, mouth close to his ear whispers... "I know who you are... You're the list killer"

He tilted his face to the side to glare into the eyes of Paul Richards. 

"Dean Winchester," The man said straightening up "I've been waiting to meet you, for a long time... Figured I'd be on your list. I have to say, I was worried at first, but you've been getting kind of sloppy recently... You were caught on CCTV buying gasoline three miles from where you burnt down a barn, have to wonder what went wrong there? Arson was a new one for you, wasn't it?" 

Richards roughly pulled the gag from Dean's mouth, but Dean stayed still, didn't try to speak at all. He just listened, feeling the drum, drum, drum, beat of his heart against his chest. Richards circled him... 

"I looked into your background, it was your brother, wasn't it? That's why this all started..." 

Dean flinches at the mention of Sam, and grates out angrily "You don't know what you're talking about" 

Richards grins "You couldn't save him, whatever happened to him drove him to suicide... And you wanted to take on all the bad guys and make sure it didn't happen again? Right?" Richard's chuckles as he walks around the chair Dean is tied to, the movement casting shadows on his face, then lighting it up again "And no one would suspect you, Sam Winchester never reported any abuse... You seem like some dumb vet shop cleaner... But that's something else that clued us in... Tell me, Dean, does your boss know you've been stealing drugs from his practice or does he let you off because you're fucking him? The sensible, good-natured boyfriend with the nice house, respectable job - perfect little cover story you've created for yourself there Dean" 

Dean tries to keep his expression blank. Anger burns through his veins chased around his body by fear. But... he doesn't know about Cas... He thinks it's just Dean, hopefully, that means Cas is safe. And that, should today be his last, Castiel could still take care of Paul Richards... He wouldn't see it coming, he'd think the list killer was dead. Dean doesn't say anything, thinking. 

"Tell me, Dean, did your friend Benny ask you to take care of his new girlfriend's father, or did you butcher that man out of the goodness of your heart?" 

"Robert Talbot got what was coming to him... But I have wondered, why would someone who repeatedly raped their own sister... put themselves in the public eye?" Dean felt a thrill of satisfaction at the sight of the blood draining from Paul Richards face. He'd hit a nerve there. If he could keep him talking, maybe he could free himself of the ropes and... 

"Whatever you think you know about Penelope..." Richards started 

"I know, more than you think" Said Dean tugging his wrists against the ties. 

"You're lying" 

"How would you know?" 

"Penelope is dead" Richards voice cracked slightly, with anger or sorrow, Dean couldn't tell. 

"And you made sure of that, didn't you? You kept chipping away at her until there was nothing left. You destroyed her. Your own sister" 

"I loved her" Shouted Richards angrily "I loved her! And she..." 

"You made her believe the only way to escape you, was death. She killed herself because you raped her" Dean looked at Richards in disgust "You killed her"  

Paul Richard's face was angry and red and he ground down on his teeth before answering Dean... "I didn't kill her, but I am going to kill you"  

***

"It's a warehouse, three hundred and seventy-nine Broadway. He wanted me to meet him there"

"Well, I must insist that he be disappointed," Said Castiel opening his 'murder bag' and pulling out a syringe and tiny vial of clear liquid. His head was clear, to save Dean, he needed to think, he needed to be rational, first, he'd make sure Matt wasn't going anywhere. Then he'd deal with Charlie. 

"You're going to kill Richards..." Said Matt looking between Castiel and Charlie, still struggling with the murder aspect of the whole thing. 

"He raped his sister. He was already marked for death. But now, he plans to kill Dean and probably Bela... He is just waiting for you to show up, he needs someone to pin everything on... It's you. You going to this warehouse allows him to kill Dean, he just needs you to be there with him, alone... His word against yours, you at the scene of the crime... So, you will stay here"

Matt eyes the syringe "Are you going to kill me?" 

"No, this is just a small dose of ketamine, it will just knock you out for a few hours" 

"Why?" Matt sounded resolved to it and Castiel was glad he didn't try to fight him, he didn't have time.  

"Becuase, even I have rules," Castiel said calmly "Limits. This won't kill you, but I still have questions and... trust issues" 

Matt nods, pulling his jacket off and holding out his arm to Castiel he asks "What do you think about when you think about killing?" He watches as Castiel he flicks the end of the needle. 

"Sit back... Now. I think about potential" Said Castiel clearly, as he grips Matt's arm "I think about the kids, who will be able to reach their full potential... Because evil didn't get the chance to corrupt them. I think about how striking down that evil, stops it from ever reaching its full potential... I deny them that... like they denied their victims" 

As Castiel pushes the needle into his arm, Matt casts one last look to Charlie, who nods. 

"I didn't know what he was," Says Matt as his eyes get heavy and he slips into darkness. 

Castiel checks his pulse before standing up and rounding on Charlie, "You're coming with me" 

"I know" Said Charlie quietly "I know you don't know me, but I knew Ellen... I'll do anything I can, to help you save Dean"

Castiel eyed her for a moment, she seemed genuine... But he couldn't rely on her word, not when it came to Dean's safety, he needed back up... He pulled his phone from his pocket and pressed call "Bela?" 


	65. A Dish Served Cold

The house filled with smoke, the flames rose and ate away the curtains, the furniture, his father. Castiel walked toward the flames, letting his skin sweat from the heat, blacken from the smoke, he pulled at a bit of burning curtain and put it on the sleeve of his coat, letting it burn against the material for a moment before patting it out. When he ran down his front path, police and a fire crew pulling up, his eyes were watering from the smoke, he was coughing and his coat was smoking lightly... He played his part perfectly. No one suspected this 'poor little boy' of starting that fire, no one questioned why he didn't speak for a few days, his acting was perfect, his mask - was his baby face, yes, he was young, but he wasn't a child. His father's actions had forced him to grow up much too soon, but he'd had his revenge and now... 

***

At Three Hundred And Seventy-Nine Broadway

Paul Richard's fist had crunched into the side of Dean's face with such force that the chair Dean was tied to had toppled over, the other side of his head hitting the hard ground and getting scratched by the rocky surface. Dean's vision blurred and he saw a mix of colors flash by his face as the chair was pulled upright again. His head was swimming but he could hear the unmistakable laugh of Richard's as he fought to stay awake. 

"Stay with me princess, I'm not done with you yet," Said Richards stepping around him and patting his face patronizingly. Another blow landed in the center of his chest, knocking the air from his lungs. Dean coughed and gasped for breath, glaring up at his attacker. 

"Fuck you," Snarled Dean

Richards straightened up "No," He said gruffly. He rested both hands on Dean's shoulders and brought his knee up between Dean's legs, resting it against his crotch, then he lowered all of his weight on to that knee, watching Dean clench his teeth as he crushed down. 

Dean felt the pain in his cock and balls as the man pushed down crushing them between his knee and the chair. His face reddened, he squeezed his eyes closed and let out a cry. 

After a moment the weight lifted and he opened his eyes to see Richard's walking away from him. Dean pulled against the ropes around his wrists, tugging and trying to get free. He felt his skin smart and grow hot under the friction. He tried to move his legs, but the pain in his crotch flared up and he stopped quickly. He couldn't get out. He couldn't free himself. He looked around, taking deep steadying breaths and trying not to freak out. Was this grotty building really where he was going to die? And at the hands of a fucking psychopath, great. He thought about Castiel, about everything they'd been through together... About how his own mistakes had led to this moment... He thought about how blue his eyes were, the feel of Castiel's hands on his skin...  

He swallowed against the fear and sadness rising in him... He couldn't think about Cas, not right now... He didn't want to give Richard's the satisfaction of seeing him cry. Instead, he thought about his brother... At least if he died here today, he might get to see Sam again. He might get to tell his brother how much he'd missed him, how sorry he was that he hadn't been able to help him when he'd needed him most. That he loved him. 

He hears footsteps approaching and looks up to see Richard's returning from, somewhere... Dean's not really sure where he went but he suspects he has a car not too far away, as he wasn't gone long. Dean watches Richard's, he has a worrying look on his face, a twisted grin that ties Dean's stomach in knots. He has a brown leather roll of tools under his arm and a plastic poncho over his head. 

Grimacing Dean realizes, this man clearly means to make a mess. He watches as Richard's pulls the stool with the light on it to the side of the room, the light hits a metal work table and Richards sets it down on the surface, Dean squints at an odd shaped... something, that seems to be attached to the table, he can't make it out from where he sits. Richards puts his 'tools' on the table and then walks back over to Dean, grabbing the back of the chair with both hands and dragging him on the angled chair across the floor to the table. When he is finally set up straight on his seat again, he looks at the table... realizing that the metal thing attached to it, is an old workman's vice. Fucking great. 

*** 

Castiel opened his eyes as he let out a deep breath and opened his front door, "You're here" He said as Bela stepped forward and hugged him tightly. 

"Of course," Said Bela looking past Castiel to the red-haired woman with a frown. 

Castiel looked back following her gaze, before turning back to Bela "Richard's has Dean," 

"We'll get him back." Said Bela firmly "We'll get him home" 

Castiel nodded and let Bela pass him, before closing the front door again. Every fiber of his being wanted to rush out of the door and run to Dean, charge in and save him. But they still had to be smart. They had to do this right. They had to win. Get Dean back alive and end Richards. Then there was also Matt and Charlie to deal with and Castiel knew it would be foolish to put his trust, Dean's life... in their hands. 

Bela stands in front of Charlie, staring at her. She flicks her eyes to the side, looking at Castiel "Who?" 

"This is Penelope Richards," Says Castiel walking past Bela to his phone and picking it up "Not as dead as we thought" 

Bela's lips parted in surprise, "Fuck. You were the Penelope that Ellen helped, weren't you?"

Charlie nodded "Yes. I go by Charlie Bradbury now" 

Bela looked at Castiel "I didn't know it was... this Penelope... I should have known." She shakes her head, eyes falling on the unconscious man on the couch "And who the fuck is this?" She asked looking exasperated.  

"Matt," Said Charlie looking down at the man "Good guy, wrong place, the wrong crowd" 

Castiel confirms with a slight nod that Charlie is right to Bela and then puts a finger to his lips silencing them both. He has the phone to his ear and a pained expression on his face. He sighs before looking up again. 

"Dean is alive," He says "But we need to hurry" 

"How do you know?" Asked Bela with a hopeful expression. 

Castiel clicks the loudspeaker button on his phone and the room is suddenly filled with the sound of Dean screaming...  

"Dean and I put those sim card devices we bought for the job with your father, in the soles of our shoes. We figured if either of us was ever questioned by the police, as you were... It would be useful to know what they had asked and what our answers were so that we would have the same story. He is wearing those shoes now" 

"Smart," Said Bela then she pulled a face at the phone as another pained yell could be heard through the speaker "Alright, let's get going. What's the plan?" 

Castiel leaned over Matt and zip tied his wrists and feet. He picked up his duffle bag, pulled something small out and handed it to Bela "Don't miss," He said looking her in the eyes "Let's go." 

*** 

"FUCK YOU" Screamed Dean as the blade dragged through his skin again. He felt the hot sting of pain, followed by the feel of slow heavy blood trickling from the wound. 

Richard's just stared at him, eyes narrowed, knife still pressed against Dean's skin "I thought you'd like it" He sneered "Isn't this like, your trademark?" 

Dean's head drooped forward and he looked at his bare chest, blood oozing from the large tick mark that had been carved into his flesh. He looked back up, panting through the pain "Go fuck yourself" He ground out. His jaw crunched once again under the knuckles of Paul Richards and his mouth filled with blood as he bit down on his tongue. He spat some to the floor before looking up at Richards again "Is that all you've fucking got?" He goaded. He wasn't sure why he wanted to wind the man up, he just knew that he would not let this man see him break. He would not let this man see him cry. He wouldn't fucking beg. 

Another hit, and another, and another. Dean could feel his face swelling and hot. He could barely open his left eye. His brain was foggy, his vision was completely fucked. A final punch to the face and everything went black as he passed out, his head falling forward against his chest and dribbles of blood flowing from his mouth into his lap.  

***

Castiel and Bela got in the front of Castiel's car, with Charlie in the back. 

"Leave it," Said Castiel firmly as Bela reached over to his phone to turn it off when he rested it in the cup holder. She gave him a look and Castiel shook his head. "I need to know that he is still alive. And I need to know how long to make Paul Richard's suffer for laying a finger on Dean."

Dean's grunts of pain play out on loudspeaker within the small car as they pull out of the driveway. Bela is looking out the window, a tear rolling down her check that she tries to hide and wipes away from her skin with the back of a finger. Charlie is staring at the phone, it's hard to tell if she's hoping for the noises to stop or not... She doesn't want Dean to suffer at the hands of her brother, it's almost like she knows him, in a way... But if the noises stop... They won't even know if Dean is still alive... 

And then there is Castiel. Staring straight ahead, ignoring the way the window wipers swish back and forth in front of his face, clearing the soft splatters of rain that land on the windscreen. He stops at red lights. He avoids the temptation to speed. He does not want to attract the attention of the police. He doesn't want anything slowing them down. He drives safely and at the speed limit. His blank expression un-swaying from the road, his ears full of Dean's cries of pain... 

_"Is that all you've fucking got?"_

Then they stop. For the first time, the three people in the car all look together at the little phone. Silence, followed by the eerie echo of footsteps growing fainter...


	66. In To The Spiders Web

The rooms filled with smoke, the flames rose. Castiel walked through his house, watching the fire eat away at his possessions, watching the life he'd known disappear before his eyes, he was reminded of his father, reminded of how he'd once before let an old life get burned from existence... Like now. He felt the ache of loss this time. He felt a sorrow he hadn't felt the first time he'd started a fire, all those years ago. He'd spent so much time here with Dean... With Ellen. But it was over now. It was over. 

***

Now

The front door to Castiel's house shook as he wrapped his knuckles against the wood. He took a step back and glanced up at the windows, straining to see any kind of movement. He frowned, banging on the door again. His thoughts betrayed him and he reached for the handle, he had to know... His eyebrows rose with shock at finding the door was unlocked. He pushed the door open and stepped inside. His eyes instantly falling on the unconscious man whose wrists were bound by zip ties. 

"What the... " He hurried over to the man, eyes darting around the room. He bumped into the edge of the couch and cursed as his knee hit the table, something rolling on the table caught his eye. A needle. He looked at it. Empty. He checked the man was breathing and tried to wake him. But the man did not stir. He debated untying him, but then... he didn't know who he was, or where Castiel, Dean, and Bela were... 

He left the man and searched the house, there was no one else there. Cursing again, he returned to the living room and sat next to the tied up man, occasionally shaking him, trying to wake him. He pulled his phone from his pocket, but once again it just went dead as he tried to call her... 

"Bela, where the fuck are you?" Said Benny gruffly as he ran his hands over his face. He glanced down at the man again, frowning. What the hell was going on?

***

Castiel pulled up a little way away from the warehouse, he turned off the engine of the car and glanced at Bela and Charlie. He picked up his phone and canceled the call to the sim card device. It had been quiet for almost five full minutes. He turned in his seat and looked at Charlie. 

"Are you ready? Are you up for this?" The woman was about to come face to face with the monster who'd controlled her for most of her life, he had to believe she could handle it.

Charlie met his eyes with determination "Yes, I'm ready. I'm not the same person I was when I lived with Paul. My heads clear and my hands are steady, I just want this to be over"

Castiel narrowed his eyes slightly and nodded before turning to Bela "Keep your eyes open. We're assuming it's only him, but be ready for anything and... be safe" 

She nodded, "I won't miss." 

They got out of the car together and Bela hurried off alone, disappearing into the darkness. She would be finding a back way into the warehouse. Castiel and Charlie would enter together. Castiel glanced up at the sky, soft rain patted his face as he heard the voice in his head send a message to the heavens. 

 _'If you're really real... if you have some way of protecting him and you don't... I'll be coming for you'_ Castiel picked up his knife from his duffle, he twirled it in his hand as he pictured driving it deep into Paul Richards chest. He grabbed a pillowcase and a few zip ties and pocketed them. 

"Come on," He said to Charlie and they walked up to the warehouse carefully, both keeping as quiet as possible and looking about them for any signs of danger. When they reach the door Charlie inclines her head slightly, meeting Castiel's eyes as he pulls the pillowcase over her face. He pushes on the door and it opens easily. He takes hold of Charlie's arm and guides her through the doorway. Castiel gives himself a moment to let his eyes adjust, it's dark and smells damp. He looks towards an open arch doorway from which a faint light shines, edging toward it cautiously, he reminds himself that he has done this kind of thing before, countless times, he has faced monsters and demons and sent them all to hell. He has always been able to remain calm, detached. 

But this is different, he hears the little voice in his head say... _This time... this monster... has Dean._  

He puts his duffle bag down slowly, without making a sound. He pushes against Charlie slightly, so that the woman knows to stay still. He won't reveal her right away, Richards could spook and shoot and she is an innocent. He has to protect her too. He closes his eyes, a million images of Dean flash before him, Dean smiling, Dean spread out on their bed beneath him, Dean kissing him, Dean. Dean. Dean. 

He opens his eyes and rounds the corner. Walking with a fierce purpose and ready to cut down whatever gets in between him and _his person_. He stands in the open arched doorway, his arms down by his sides, his knife in one hand unhidden and stares across the room to where a small lamp stands on a table, it's light emanates a small wooden chair, tied to which... is Dean.

His white shirt is torn and red, his chest has a large tick carved into it, stretching from above one nipple right down to his belly button. His face is blue, black, red... barely recognizable. Swollen. His head hangs forward, his eyes closed. He isn't moving. Castiel's eyes widen at the sight of him, he can't be... he can't be too late? 

A noise to the right makes Castiel's eyes flick away from Dean, to the monster's face. 

"Matt?" Questions Richards as he peers through the darkness towards Castiel. Castiel stares at him for a second, his hand twitches against the handle of his knife, he pictures himself throwing it across the room and burying it powerfully into Paul Richards skull. He breathes. Stepping into the light a little before responding. 

"Sorry to disappoint you, but Matt won't be able to make it" Castiel clears his throat softly, willing himself to calm down even though his eyes keep flicking back to Dean, praying for some sign that he is alive, praying to see some movement... "He is a little, tied up at the moment" 

Paul Richards and Castiel move slowly into the center of the room, Richards getting closer to both Castiel and Dean with each step he takes. When both of their faces are lit up by the lamp and they can see each other clearly. They stop. 

The two men stare at each other from across the room. Sizing each other up. Waiting... for something, neither knows what. It's as though they both understand that something is about to happen here, something monumental, that deserves a moment's silence. The calm quiet moment before the thunder meets the lightning. 

***

At the end of the building, Bela moves through the shadows, unnoticed and silent.

***

"Mr. Richards," Says Castiel voice full of disdain. He resists the urge to say, 'we meet at last'. Feeling a pang in his heart at how much he knows it would amuse Dean if he did. "You have someone I care about. Someone I want back" 

Paul Richards glances over to where Dean is still tied, he turns back to Castiel "You're the boyfriend, the vet, Castiel" 

Castiel holds out his hands to his sides "Yes and no. But I am so much more, I am the real reason you're here. I am the one you seek. I am the list killer. I am the one who has something you desire."

"You're the list killer?" Paul Richards frowns looking from Castiel to Dean, eyes narrowing "No, Dean Winchester..." 

"Is mine." Says Castiel possessively "He assists me. He is loyal and I want him back"

"Too fucking bad" Sneers Richard's. 

"I have not come empty-handed. You have someone I care about... I have someone you care about..."

"I don't care about anyone" Said Richards, Castiel can sense the rising panic in the man. 

"Don't let your voters here you talking like that Mr. Richards, I can't imagine it would win you any favors" 

Castiel moved back to the archway, he whispered something that Richard's couldn't hear and pulled on Charlie's arm, dragging her into the warehouse, he walked forwards a few steps raising both his hands and pulled off the pillowcase on her head then held her face up roughly so that Richard's could see her. His other hand, the hand holding his knife rising to her throat... 

"Penny?" Richards recoils in shock, moving behind his unconscious hostage "But... you're dead..." 

Charlie stares at him, her eyes flooding with tears... "Help me" She whispers.  

Bela holds the dart gun Castiel had given her in both hands, keeping her aim steady. She blows out a quiet breath and fires the needle full of tranquilizers at Richards. It hits him perfectly between the shoulder blades. He flinches and a hand comes up trying to feel where the dart hit. His eyes become unfocused as he stumbles forwards a step... His arm reaching out toward Charlie... 

"Penny..." He slurs before slumping forward with a loud thud against the cold hard floor. 

 


	67. Say Goodbye To Innocence

When Matt starts to wake up the first thing he realizes with some relief is... that he is still alive. He opens his eyes to see a man staring down at him. The man is speaking and Matt squints at him as he tries to understand what the man is saying, his voice seems slow and Matt doesn't even realize he is grinning at him. Everything seems slow, his coming to, the man's movements and voice. He finally recognizes the man as Benny and his face knits together in comical confusion. He tries to sit up but a wave of nausea hits him and he clamps his mouth shut and stills. He is aware enough of his surroundings to know he is still in Castiel's house and he doesn't want to piss off a serial killer by throwing up on his couch. 

"A serial killer?" He hears Benny repeat, sounding far away.

Shit had he said that out loud. 

"Yeah, you did," Says Benny standing up and looking around and scrubbing his hands over his face "Where's Bela? Dean?" 

"Erm..." Matt looks up at him, his bottom lip protruding out into a pout as he shrugs "I... er" 

Benny turns a pair of angry eyes on him and Matt shrinks back into the couch, feeling his odd sense of calm vanish under Benny's glare. 

"You're going to tell me everything" Snarls Benny, his voice full of threat. 

Matt nods "Okay" 

*** 

Castiel, Bela, and Charlie all move at the same time. Charlie and Castiel hurrying forward to where Paul Richard's had fallen. Turning him over and tying his wrists and ankles, not caring that the ties dig into his skin deeply, no - scratch that, he does care. He wants it to hurt, he glances up to see Bela rushing over to Dean and searching his neck for a pulse. He swallows and pulls the zip tie against Richard's wrist even tighter. 

Once satisfied that Richard's couldn't move if he woke, Castiel gets up and hurries over to Bela's side. He looks at Dean's face, at least what's left of Dean's face under the swelling and bruising. Under the blood. 

"He's alive, just out." Says Bela quietly her fingers still at Dean's neck and Castiel blows out a breath, but he won't let himself feel it, not yet. He won't allow himself to feel relief until this night is over and Dean is safe. 

He turns to Charlie "My bag" Charlie just nods and runs to fetch Castiel's bag that remained hidden behind the archway.

Castiel watches as Bela runs her hands around Dean's neck pressing against his skin, he knows shes checking for injuries, but he can't help but feel a prickle of possessiveness as he watches her, touching Dean. He knows logically that she needs to do this. That Dean needs this. That this feeling is more directed at the man who'd taken Dean, put his hands to him, hurt him... He glances over to where Richard's is still laid out cold on the floor. A part of him itches to go over, he is suddenly very aware of the knife in his hand, it feels heavy and warm against his palm. He can practically hear it calling out for blood. For Paul Richard's blood. Or maybe, he could just hear his own inner voice, telling him to kill the monster. 

"We can move him, carefully." Says Bela at last, as Charlie drops down beside them and opens Castiel's bag, pulling out some bandages. "Lay him down so I can check him over properly" 

Castiel cuts at the ropes around Dean's legs and arms with his blade. Charlie and Bela both catching Dean's shoulders as he beings to slump forward and lowering him carefully to the floor. Castiel and Charlie help to cut the tatters of Dean's shirt off him so that Bela can see the extent of his injuries. Charlie fetches the light and stands over Bela and Dean letting the light fall on his body so Bela can see him clearly. Castiel doesn't realize he started pacing until a voice stops him. 

"Apart from the obvious..." Bela points to the cut across Dean's chest "He has one cracked rib amongst all the bruising on his ribs, a break to the orbital floor of his eye-socket. A fracture to his cheekbone... _but_  in a way he got lucky, I don't think he'll need any hospital treatment, I can patch him up, the rest is up to him. Also, when he wakes up... he may have a concussion"

Castiel looks at Dean, his eyes closed, his chest rattling with shallow breaths, "We should get him out of here" 

"What about him?" Says Charlie looking back to where her tormentor lay on the floor. 

"He'll pay, for what he has done." Says Castiel   

"Just kill him. Now" Says Bela looking at Castiel. Castiel narrows his eyes at Richards. He wanted him dead. But he also wanted him to suffer, for Dean, for Charlie... He wanted to see the fear in his eyes. 

Castiel looked around the warehouse "Not yet. Do what you can for Dean here. We have time." He sighed and looked down at Richards "He picked his spot well." 

"Ok, well I can clean and close this," Bela points to the cut across Dean's chest "You got something for the pain?" She pauses "Something light" 

"Something light?" Asks Charlie with a skeptical look on her face 

"He may have been drugged with something, we don't have any way to test his blood, we don't want to push his body too much. We don't want to cause an overdose" Bela looks up to Castiel again "Something light" She repeats and Castiel nods to show he heard her, before digging into his bag

After administering a weak dose of painkiller into Dean's system, Castiel watched Bela clean Dean's cut and begin to stitch it, cutting the threads with a scalpel. He walked slowly back over to Paul Richards and looked down at his face, hating him with every fiber of his being. 

Charlie looked over to where Castiel was stood, she placed the light on the floor beside Dean and stood up, picking up the scalpel from the floor beside her, gripping it tightly in her hand. She stepped slowly toward Castiel. 

"Is he still out?" She said quietly, Castiel turned around and straightened as he saw the scalpel in her hands, he meets her eyes "Is he?" She repeats

"He is," Says Castiel eyeing her 

"Can he feel?" 

"Some studies suggest that sometimes unconscious people may feel pain even though they're unable to show it. The drugs we had in the dart gun... Had no numbing effects" 

"Good" Charlies voice was sharp as she knelt down by her brothers head "No matter what happens, I want people to know what he was, I just want people to know..." She says almost more to herself than Castiel as she raises the scalpel to her brothers face. Castiel tilts his head, watching her. It never crosses his mind to try and stop her, not after seeing what this man had done to Dean's chest and also, as with Bela, this was her monster and Castiel felt that she should get the chance to face him. When Charlie finally rises from the floor, the scalpel still in her hand, now dripping red beads to the floor. Castiel read the word carved into Richard's forehead to himself. 

'RAPIST'

 


	68. Retribution

She paused, a hand on Castiel's shoulder as the boy looked up at her with those bright blue eyes, she seemed to be considering what to say very carefully "He hurt you, didn't he?" Castiel didn't say anything, he just stared up at her "He touched you, in a way no one should touch a child?" 

His eyes watered slightly but he didn't speak. She seemed to take his silence as an answer though, her face crumpling as she put her hands over her mouth, gasping in a breath as her own eyes burned with unshed tears. 

"I'm so sorry Castiel, I'm so sorry... I should have stopped him. I should have done something... Kept you safe. Away from him" She puts a hand on each of Castiel's shoulders and locks eyes with him "This is not your fault. You know that? You're safe now and you did nothing wrong. Don't you dare go blaming yourself for this, any of it. You didn't do anything" 

Castiel's eyes travel over Ellen's face, he sees the tears and pain in her eyes, he just knows, somehow... She knew what kind of a man her brother was, maybe his father had hurt her too. But he felt safe with her and he made up his mind at that moment. He wanted to tell her the truth "But..." he stammered, finally speaking to his aunt for the first time "I did."

"What do you mean?" Asked Ellen, her hands still holding his shoulders gently. 

Castiel stared up at her for a moment, somehow, he just knew... He could trust her. So he took and deep breath and confessed: "I killed him."

Now

Castiel was looking around the room, thinking. Now that they knew Dean was alive and it was just a matter of waiting for him to wake up, he regained more of his control. It may have seemed to Bela and Charlie as though he'd kept a cool head, but he knew otherwise, he'd panicked. Dean had been in trouble, in pain and he'd rushed to his aid. He didn't regret his choice, Dean was alive after all, that was... He paused in his pacing. That was his number one priority. He blinked. The job had always, always come first... Until now. 

Dean is the most important thing in the world to him. He supposes he already knew that he'd just never acknowledged it until now, this night... and as he counted the many, many mistakes they had made in his head, he knew that _this_ night, would change things for them all. He looked at his ungloved hands, his uncovered shoes, he looked at Bela and Charlie, touching the lamp, the chair Dean had been tied to... leaving fingerprints all over the place. He looked at Dean, his blood was everywhere... soaked into the ropes that had bound his wrists, pooled on the floor. On Paul Richards hands and his plastic poncho. This was not the crime scene of someone calm and in control... This was the crime scene of someone in love.

Love had made him stupid. Love had made him reckless but looking down at Dean, as his face twitched and his unswollen eye flicked open Castiel found... He didn't care. Dean was worth it. That's all it came down to in the end. As long as Dean was alive and safe, Castiel could do, what he knew he would have to do now. 

"Dean?" 

Dean groaned as he looked up at Castiel, his eye was bloodshot and unfocused and slipped closed again as his hand reached up toward Castiel, his aim was off but Castiel clasped his hand tightly in his own and squeezed it. 

"You're ok Dean, we're here. You're safe" Bela and Charlie watched as Castiel held Dean's hand.  

***

Benny roughly brushed his fingers under his nose and sniffed as he stood up, "Get up" He said sharply 

Matt frowned at him "What, why?" 

"We're going," Said Benny he began to pace as he tried to pull his thoughts together. 

"What? No. I'm not. We can't"

"Get up now!" Snapped Benny

"In case you didn't notice, I'm tied up and I know you know Castiel, Dean and obviously Bela... But I don't, not really. I don't want to piss any of them off. If I leave here, they'll come after me..." 

"We're going to them," Said Benny as he digs around in a kitchen drawer and retrieves a pair of scissors "Bela could be in trouble, I'm going to find her and bring her back" 

"The fact that I just told you, she's a killer... Makes no difference to you?" Said Matt watching Benny cut the zip tie on his ankles.

Benny freezes, "I'm not saying that I am not going to need some time to adjust to that fact, but right now... Bela could be in trouble and I know what kind of people the list killer goes after... No way am I leaving her in the hands of one of them. I couldn't do that, not to Bela, hell - not to anyone" 

*** 

Bela stands up and turns to Castiel "Look, I know that you're worried about Dean. But can I remind you, we have an unconscious mayoral candidate on the floor over there"

Castiel lays Dean's hand back down gently and turns his eyes over to Paul Richards, his face darkens, "You're right. It is time for some retribution." He stood up and moved to stand behind Richard's head "Let's get him on the table. Help me lift him"

Bela and Charlie each grab a leg and together the three of them lift the man on to the metal table. Castiel cuts the zip ties to his hands and ankles free and reties him to the legs of the table. The bleeding from the cuts on his face has stopped leaving crusty red lines of blood from his forehead to his hairline. 

Castiel would normally say something, but with Richard's out cold, it didn't seem to matter. He picked up his knife from where he'd left it on the floor, he walked slowly back over to the table, his footsteps echoing in the otherwise silent warehouse, a large part of him hoping that Richard's woke up, he wanted him to feel pain, fear, he wanted him to hurt. He wanted to see the light leave his eyes... 

He stood behind his head, gripping the knife in two hands and raising it... It didn't feel right, this was too easy, too quick... He glanced at Bela, who nodded. He glanced to Charlie, whose lips parted as she watched him, he pointed the knife downward, right over Richard's heart... He took a deep breath... 

"WAIT!" Charlie cried out suddenly, Castiel's knife stopped a mere centimeter from it's intended target, he turned sharply to look at her "Wait" She said again, calmer "I thought, I wanted him dead. Gone... But, I... I've changed my mind"

Castiel straightened up, turned around and narrowed his eyes at her "He hurt you, he was going to kill Dean, he knows who we are..." 

Charlie grinned, "Oh... Don't worry he won't be talking to anyone. May I borrow your knife?" 


	69. A Highly Unpleasant Physical Sensation; Pain

“A good man. An innocent man... died, because of me… And because of this, because I have his blood on my hands. I have made the decision that my time, is done. My work here must end, so you’re welcome New York and… Goodbye”

Castiel stands up, he moves out of the frame of the computer and starts humming a melancholy tune as the room slowly fills with smoke, after a few minutes, coughing can be heard as the fire that had started, burns into the kitchen. Reaching the plastic gasoline containers on the kitchen side, a few moments later there is a loud bang and the video blurs and cuts out...

Now

Bela, Castiel, and Charlie are stood staring at each other, their eyes darting from side-to-side. Were they really considering this? 

"Leave him alive?" Said Bela eyebrows raised as she looked from Charlie to Castiel "Really?" 

Castiel scratched his chin, thinking. He looked at Bela, meeting her eyes. He looked at Charlie, narrowing his eyes. He'd seen and done some crazy things in his time. He'd bled his share of monsters... But this, this was going way further than murder, for this would surely be the cruelest punishment. He looked at the two passed out men, from Dean's swollen and bloody face to Paul Richard's, 'RAPIST' engraved into his skin, everybody would know. Everybody. Dying was quick and your troubles were over after it... but to live, with everyone looking at you like the monster you are... 

"I'm in," He says looking back to Bela "It can be done, right?" 

Bela looks around her, her hands raising and dropping to her sides in something like frustration "Yes, but Castiel..." 

"You got to deal with your monster how you chose Bela. This is Charlie's turn to face her demons. This is her choice of punishment. And personally, the idea that Paul Richards will suffer for the rest of his life... well, it amuses me greatly. As long as he can't expose us, I'm happy to go ahead with Charlie's plan" 

"We do this, it's going to be huge. This story will be everywhere." Said Bela looking at Charlie "They will dig up. Everything. Everything on your brother, your parents, you. All of it."

"I know," Said Charlie

"If we just kill him, he'd be forgotten about a hell of a lot sooner," Said Bela turning to Castiel again

"I know," Said Castiel "We will have to alter our lives accordingly, but Bela... We were already going to have to, we have left evidence all over this place." Bela sags slightly before nodding. "I'll make it right," Says Castiel not quite meeting her eye. She tilts her head at him, not understanding. But he chooses not to elaborate. 

"Alright, alright. Let's nail this sick bastard" Bela looked down at the bag "Drugs aren't going to be enough, we're going to need something hot to cauterize the wounds..." 

Castiel held his knife out to Charlie, who took it with a nod before turning her attention to her brother "Watch him" He said to the two women "I'll look around" 

*** 

Moving away from Charlie and Bela, Castiel walks through the warehouse, down a corridor he finds a room, tables overturned and windows were broken. Graffiti on the walls, various kids names that 'were here' and a small pile of burnt wood in the middle of the room surrounded by empty beer cans and bottles. Castiel moved around the room looking for anything that could be useful. His eyes widened as he saw a small smelting furnace in the corner, hooked up to a portable generator. Clearly, the kids that had messed about here had tried to get it working. Castiel walked over to it, checking it over, it looked in good shape. If it was functional... It would be perfect for what they needed. 

A noise outside the room makes him freeze, he resists the urge to call out to one of his companions by name, he can't risk exposing them if this is someone else. He walks quietly over to the door and carefully peers out.

Castiel can see the two men walking through the dark corridor, but he can't make out their faces. Panic rises through him, what if they are just kids messing about... What if they are innocent people about to stumble on Bela, Charlie, Dean... Paul Richards? He looks about him, his mind racing. He needs to keep them away from the girls, he must protect them. It's his responsibility. He picks up a small rock and throws it further down the corridor, before moving quietly back into the room he was in. Waiting for them to pass.  

He hears voices, whispering in the dark, he sees the shadows of the men as they walk slowly closer to where he is stood behind the door. He realizes, to his frustration... He gave Charlie his knife. He is unarmed. But then... His own name being spoken nearby draws his attention. 

"You said this was where Castiel and the others would be?" Castiel's head jerks up as he recognizes the voice. Benny. What the hell was Benny doing here? Confused Castiel decides he may as well show himself, for no matter why Benny was here, or what his reaction would be to what he'd stumbled into, Castiel couldn't hurt Dean's friend.  He straightens and takes a deep breath before announcing himself. 

"It's Castiel, I am coming out" He waits for a beat, before stepping out of the room and coming face to face with Benny and Matt. 

"Castiel," Says Benny, his eyes dark, his jaw set. Matt backs away a step, the tension between Benny and Castiel mounts as they stare at each other in the shadowy corridor. 

"Benjamin," Says Castiel evenly after a few moments "What are you doing here?" His eyes flick over to Matt's face. 

"Cut the shit Castiel, where's Bela? Dean?" 

Castiel just tilts his head, looking into Benny's eyes. So, he knows. 

"They better be alright, safe..." Benny's voice is unsteady, angry "Or... I will fucking kill you" 

"Will you, boy?" Says Castiel narrowing his eyes "Clearly, you've come in here on a white horse, intending to rescue your friend and your fair lady... But let me make something clear to you... Both Dean and Bela were killers before they came to me... And they did, both... come to me. This is no place for a hero, Benjamin. You're in wolf territory now and you are about to walk into the middle of a hunt"

"Where. Are. They?" Said Benny, holding his ground

"They are both here, are you sure you want to see this?" Said Castiel looking from Benny to Matt and back.

"Take me to them" Spat Benny 

Castiel scowled "Is that an order?"

Matt's eyes were flicking back and to between Castiel and Benny. Neither of them lowering their gaze, neither backing down.  

"Now" 

A tiny vein in Castiel's forehead twitched, he had to remind himself that Benny was Dean's friend, Bela's boyfriend. But he hated being told what to do, he'd hated it since his father had given him those sickening commands as a child, something just below the surface, just behind his eyes... was burning to lash out, but he pushed it down and instead he said, as calmly as he could manage "Say. Please." 

Benny huffed, and gritted out a very ungenuine "Please" 

Castiel nodded and turned his back on Benny and Matt, dominance having now finally been established. He moved back into the room with the furnace. "Since you're both here and a part of this now, you may as well help... We need to take these back" 

Matt frowned "What do you need that for?"

"Richard's" 

Matt's eyes widened and Castiel heard him mutter something that sounded like "Fuck" Under his breath.  

"So, you just took it upon yourself to start dolling out justice?" Says Benny, sounding unimpressed as he lifts the furnace with Castiel, Matt pushing the generator behind them, "You became a killer, to stop the bad guys"

"Well, the thing is... To be able to beat a predator, you have to become one." Says Castiel calmly "But tonight... I'm not killing anyone"

Castiel leads Benny and Matt back to the room where the others are waiting and the first thing he sees as he enters the room again, is Bela helping Dean sit up. Dean clutching his side, wincing in pain... but awake. The furnace and generator get left near the door as the men enter the room. 

"Dean," Castiel says breathlessly, causing Dean, Charlie, and Bela to look over in his direction. All three with looks of shock on their faces as they see Benny and Matt with Castiel... 

Castiel walks briskly across the room and kneels down beside Dean, pressing a kiss gently to the top of his head and holding his neck under his palm, careful not to press on Dean's bruised face. 

"Heya, Cas," Says Dean thickly. Squinting up at him through his one good eye. 

"Are you alright?" Asks Castiel softly looking at Dean like he might break at any moment. 

"Yeah, yeah Cas. You're here now, so I'll be fine" Smiles Dean weakly "You found me"

Castiel presses his mouth into Dean's hair again, whispering comforting words of love and kissing him lightly "I'm here Dean, we found you" 

"My little serial killer, so emotional" Joked Dean as he gripped Castiel's hand in his own.

*

Bela is blinking stupidly as Benny walks over to her "What are you doing here..." She says as he stops in front of her "You shouldn't be here" 

"I know, everything," Says Benny looking back at Matt, who looks away as Bela glares at him "I had to come, I had to know that you... you and Dean were alright" 

Bela stares at him "But you're... You... You don't mind all this?" She says waving her arms around "You get what we do, right?" 

"Yes, I'm not saying I'm ok with it. Honestly, I haven't really thought about much past seeing you, making sure you're safe... But I know how I felt when I found out about your father Bela... I wanted to string that bastard up by the throat. I was glad when he was found, I was thankful that someone had taken him out, I was glad you were safe, but you took care of him yourself... I just, it will take some getting used to and I have a hundred questions, but... All I know for sure is that I love you" Benny brings both hands up to Bela's face, pushing her hair back behind her ears before leaning in to capture her lips. 

*** 

The group, Castiel, Dean, Benny, Bela, Charlie, and Matt all look down at the generator. A little red light comes on and the furnace clicks on and starts to heat up. 

"Alright." Said Bela "It's on, you sure you want to be here for this?" She directs at Benny and Matt. 

Benny nods "I'm not leavin'"

Matt just nods, turning to look down at Richard's, he sees the letters carved into his head, he thinks of how the man had played him, intended to set him up, intended to kill Dean, hurt his own sister "Yes" 

*

Richard's groans and the little group all look over to him, Benny stood by Bela, Dean still sat on the floor, leaning against a wall. Castiel and Matt stepping forward... Richard's eyes fall on Matt and his eyebrows knit together slightly before he seems to realize what's going on.  

"So, you're throwing your lot in with a psychopath?" He sneers up at Matt from where he is bound.

Matt sighs as he steps up to the table and looks down at his former boss, "Actually the exact opposite. You were going to frame me? Right? Castiel could have killed me, had plenty of reason not to trust me... But he gave me a chance, he has a code... Which is more than I can say for you," Matt glances at Charlie as he finishes "You brought this on yourself... And no one is going to lift a damn finger to help you" 

Matt moves away, making way for Castiel "You see," Said Castiel looking deeply into Paul Richard's face "Death, whilst a punishment for my normal prey... Is also merciful. They generally die quickly, generally. But you..." He looks back to see Dean watching him with his one good eye, "You made it personal..." Richard's eyes widen slightly "You have no idea how badly you fucked up when you decided to lay a finger on him, but you will. You will" 

"You don't mind if we borrow some of your tools? Do you? I mean you brought a nice little torture kit with you, it would be a shame for it to go to waste..." Castiel smiled wickedly "Are you ready, it's almost time for some gratuitous violence. I can't image how you must be feeling, trapped. Helpless. After you spent so long keeping your sister trapped, must be strange to be in the other position, what does it feel like?" 

"Ask him," Sneers Richard's glancing over at Dean, "I'm sure he remembers the feeling well" 

Castiel hisses at him "The difference, is that Dean is loved. Dean has people who care about him. The same, can not be said for you" 

Charlie walks over to them "The furnace is heating up, we're almost ready" She says to Castiel before turning to her brother. She leans in close to him, looking between his eyes "You can't wake up... 'coz this is not a dream. Same as it wasn't for me... All the times you..." She glares at him unable to finish her sentence "I'm not a little girl anymore, I'm not weak. I'm not your sister and you're not my brother. Those kids died a long time ago... All that's left of you is a monster" 

"I loved you!" He shouted in despair, he struggled as Matt clipped the ties holding him to the table, "I LOVED YOU" 

"You, you hurt me... You drugged me, you made people believe I was crazy... I had to die, to escape you... I will not grant you an escape... I will silence you, as you silenced me... I will hurt you, as you hurt me... I will take away from you as you took from me..." Castiel and Benny, pull Richard's off the table, Matt adding a new zip tie to go around his wrists behind his back. Benny holds Richard's still as Charlie holds the knife in front of her brothers face, his eyes wide, full of panic and fear, she lowers the blade to his lips "Now... Open wide" 

Richard's fights, he struggles but Castiel punches him in the face, a rough blow to the side of the head and in his moment of dizziness, they force him to open his mouth. 

Castiel grips the man's tongue between two pairs of needle nose pliers and holds it firmly, Bela, Dean, and Matt are all watching as Charlie cuts through the fleshy tongue, a chunk of it dropping to the floor as she cuts, blood pours from the wound. 

The scream that emits from Paul Richards as his tongue is cut out of his mouth is blood-chilling music to Castiel's ears - the man would have killed Dean, seeing him in unbearable pain brings Castiel a great sense of consolation, his expression remains set, but his eyes seem to twinkle slightly as he sees Bela step forward with another blade, its metal glowing hot, from the furnace. She presses the side of the blade against the open bleeding tongue and Richard's jerks and cries out in pain again, gargling on his own blood as he tries to pull back. 

Bela pulls back and inspects the man's tongue, she puts Richard's knife down and nods to Castiel who releases the pliers, his eyes twinkling as he watches Richards shake with pain. 

"It's going to swell like a fucking bitch, but I think it's stopped bleeding" She glances back to where Benny is watching over Richard's shoulder still holding the man's arms folded over his back. 

Charlie holds up the small piece of tongue and looks from it to her brother "No more lies" She says calmly before placing the chunk of the tongue on the table. 

"His hands," Said Castiel, barely containing his excitement at getting to watch the man suffer. He nods to Charlie as they each hold up a sharp blade, Castiel having picked up Richard's knife from where Bela had placed it... Matt unclips the zip tie around Richard's wrist and he and Benny walk forward each gripping one of Richard's hands and holding them firmly against the table top. Bela moving behind Richards and holding his shoulders still so he doesn't buckle forward.  

Castiel looked at Richard's, his face white under the waterfall-like blood splatter from his mouth. He and Charlie stepped forward at the same time holding their blades to Richard's wrists and drawing back at the same, before slamming down against his skin. The man made a horrible howling sound that muffled in his throat against his swelling tongue. They chopped messily at his wrists over and over, the knives not sharp enough to cut through cleanly... a fact that no one other than Richard's seemed to mind. 

"No more, holding people against their will," Said Charlie with a crazed look in her eyes. As her brothers hand separated from his arm she turned to Castiel, there were drops of blood spattered on her face, it was messy, it was brutal, it was everything Castiel had wished for when he'd first walked into this room, when he'd been unsure that Dean was even still alive. He nodded at her, as the hand he was cutting parted from the wrist, with one last sick crunching of bone.

"He can't talk, he can't write" 

Castiel didn't speak, his chest rose and fell heavily as he breathed through the adrenaline rush. He wanted to see Paul Richard's suffer, wanted to see the fear in his eyes, wanted to watch as his blood trickled from his mouth and hands, he had never felt more awake, more alive... This man had taken Dean, threatened his life... Now his would never be the same... And in all honesty, if the man ended up bleeding out... Castiel really wouldn't care. 

Richard's eyes were red, wet, his face was bloody and pale. He was shaking as Benny and Matt pull his arms around and forced each mutilated wrist into the top of the furnace for a few seconds, sealing his wounds. His chest arched up at the pain and he made a choking sound, spraying some blood from his mouth. Once again Bela checked the wounds and nodded when she was satisfied that he had stopped bleeding.  

"Chop much more off though... and he will bleed out" Stated Castiel more matter of factly than out of concern.

Matt and Benny laid a weak, shaking Richard's back on the table and stood either side of him, zip-tying his ankles back to the legs of the table, Castiel using the rope that had been tied to Dean and tying it over the man's neck to the table legs near his head, holding him down. 

"Just one more thing to go" Said Charlie working her brothers pants open now with Bela's help "No more putting this, where it doesn't belong... Or, anywhere in fact"

Castiel has seen a lot of things, unpleasant things, but as he realized what was about to happen he took a few steps back to stand beside Dean who'd stood up now and was clutching his aching ribs. He held on to Dean as he, Matt, and Benny all stood well out of the way with grim expressions on their faces as they tried not to look... Charlie pulled Richard's flaccid little cock from his pants. Sneering at it.

"Hardly seems worth it, but..."

She held up the knife, Bela ready with a handful of bandages next to her, even she flinched as she watched Charlie cut Richard's cock in two... Lengthways. The man screamed and it sounded like he was screaming into a pillow, due to his swollen tongue and then... finally... he passed out...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOW TO USE AN Electric melting mains powered smelting Furnace for melting metal
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzPwlWzQbbs


	70. Your Life Now

"Hey, Bela, congratulations" 

Bela smiled as she turned "Thank you," 

"So how long have you got left?" 

"Couple of weeks," Bela shifted her fob watch on her scrubs and checked the time

"Ohh, nice. Won't be the same here without you. Where are you moving to?"

"Well, my fiancee got offered a job in Mexico..." Smiled Bela adding with a laugh "Which works for me... all that tequila, ya know?" 

"Ha, well all the best. We'll have to have little get together before you go" 

"Sounds great." Says Bela "Well, I better get back to it. Gotta check in on the last patient of my shift." Bela turns to hide her smile as she walks away from the other nurse, toward the private room at the end of the corridor. She subtly glances around her as she pushes the tiny ziplock bag further into her pocket. She smiles flirtily at the policeman guarding the door, he smiles back. "Coffee for you at the nurse's station, I'd have brought it over but can't be seen to have favorites" She winks at him, "He still asleep in there?"

"He was a few minutes ago," Said the officer "Want me to wait with you?" 

Bela smiles "As uncomfortable as he makes me, he can't do anything to me... Go get yourself a drink, I'll shout if I need you" 

The officer nods and moves away to the nurse's station. Bela puts her hand on the door and shakes herself a little before entering the room. She closes the door behind her and moves into the room quickly.

"Hey," She says poking the man on the bed in the chest, hard enough to wake him up "Meds time," 

The man on the bed opens his eyes and instantly tenses at the sight of Bela before him. He shakes his head, makes a moaning sound in his throat. 

"Don't be like that Paul, aren't you pleased to see a friendly face?" Bela smiles at him her hand slipping into her pocket "Besides, I come bearing gifts, a little something from your sister, you know how she worries about you, worries your not getting enough to eat, she made you a little something."

Paul Richard's shakes his head violently from side to side. 

"Ah-Ah," Says Bela holding up the bag in front of him "Now, you can have your pain meds, after you swallow this, all of it Paul, you're a big guy. I know you can do it and I know you're in a lot of pain. Don't you want a little bit of a break? Hmm? A bit of a break from all that pain... All you gotta do is swallow this... I promise you, it won't kill you" 

Bela opens the bag and holds one corner of it to Paul Richard's mouth tipping the dark pink liquid inside as he opens his mouth. The stubby end of his tongue flat against the bottom of his mouth. Bela holds the back of his head so he can swallow. She smiles and pats his shoulder. 

"Good boy," She says pushing the empty bag back in her pocket and pulling out a little note "Oh, she also wrote you a little note... Isn't she the sweetest. I haven't read it... Here" She holds the note opened up before Paul Richard's face and his eyes widen as he reads. He starts making a choking sound in his throat looking at Bela with wild eyes.  

 _'Last time I saw you, you weren't looking so hot. You looked like you could use a little... pick me up - For all the times you forced your fingers, your tongue, and your cock down my throat - I thought you might like to try it... Enjoy x_ C x'

Bela folds the note slipping it back into her pocket, "Ok. Med's time, I'm a lady of my word," Bela gives Paul Richard's his pain medication, checks his vitals and changes the bandages on the stumps of his wrists. She checks the door and when she's sure no one is coming in, she leans over Richard's to whisper "Ok, you're all done. Now, I shouldn't have to remind you... I have friends here. Castiel and Ellen had friends in the police, as does Matt... So, if you feel like trying your luck... Try to communicate with someone about what happened to you... and by who... Just remember, it only takes a few mils of the wrong drugs... It could be all over, so fast. You'll never know, who is on our side, who isn't... We'd come for you. But you wouldn't die, we'd make sure of it... you'd be alive, you'd be able to feel pain, but you wouldn't even remember who you were, you wouldn't know why you were in pain. All. The. Time... You'd be more trapped inside yourself than you are even now... So, be a good boy..." 

She walks out of the room as silent tears slip down the man's face. She smiles sweetly at the officer making his way back to his post outside Paul Richard's room. 

***

“Citizens of New York. I thought it was time you knew the truth. The media have guessed at some of what happened, but I feel you deserve to know who the man you almost gave all that power to, was. Now I’m not a perfect person. I’ve made mistakes, some that led to the death of an innocent man, a man blamed for my work. Dean Winchester was murdered, by New York’s mayoral candidate Paul Richards. Paul Richard’s, a man who feared for his own life, after the death of his parents he became unstable and drugged and raped his own sister, his sister who killed herself after years of abuse, starting from a young age. He hunted for the list killer, knowing he'd be on my list, but he got the wrong man and killed him...

I blame myself, I should have dealt with this man a long time ago, it was, however, difficult due to his position. After the death of an innocent man I was forced to act, I know that his punishment has been far more brutal than that of others I have served with the cold hand of justice, however, he remains alive, exposed for his sins to serve as a reminder, that justice will find you. It’s just a matter of time.

Monsters that prey on children, that hurt the most vulnerable and innocent of mankind… Need to pay and I urge you not to be complacent with the safety of your children. I urge you to fight against the darkness that tries to steal their light. Remember that even after all the evil I have cleansed from this place, it remains, you just have to be willing to see it, fight it and defeat it… For your children.”

“A good man. An innocent man died, because of me… And because of this, because I have his blood on my hands. I have made the decision that my time, is done. My work here has to end, you’re welcome New York and… Goodbye”

Castiel stands up, he moves out of the frame of the computer and starts humming a melancholy tune as the room slowly fills with smoke, after a few minutes, coughing can be heard as the fire that had started, burns into the kitchen. The rooms filled with smoke, the flames rise. Castiel walked through his house, watching the fire eat away at his possessions, watching the life he'd known disappear before his eyes, he was reminded of his father, reminded of how he'd once before let an old life get burned from existence... Like now. He felt the ache of loss this time. He felt a sorrow he hadn't felt the first time he'd started a fire, all those years ago. He'd spent so much time here with Dean... With Ellen. But it was over now. It was over. 

The fire reaches the plastic gasoline containers on the kitchen side, there is a loud bang and the video blurs and cuts out... 

*** 

"I still can't believe you blended that shit up," Says Matt as he looks at Charlie from the passenger seat "I mean, I get it... I do. But" He shudders "That is fucking gross" 

Charlie smiles "Yes, it is." 

Matt glances into the back seat, "How long do you think he'll be out for?" 

"Castiel said we have a few hours until the drugs wear off" She looked back at the unconscious man lay across the back seat "We just have to get him across the border, while he is asleep"

Matt looks at Dean's face, the bruising and puffy eye... He shakes his head "He is going to be seriously pissed off at us when he finds out..." 

Charlie grimaces "I know, but this was Castiel's plan... And you know, Dean would never have agreed to it" 


	71. The Proposal

"I thought you said you were done?" Asked Benny looking at Charlie 

"I said there was only one more thing to 'go'" Said Charlie, "As in, cut a piece off" 

Benny shook his head as he watched Charlie place a small plank of wood between Paul Richard's ankles "We should be leaving"

"Panicking now, is the worst thing we could do," Says Castiel as he lifts up another plank of wood "We need to think this through, but first" 

Castiel wasn't about to pass up the opportunity to cause Richard's pain... Charlie wanted the man to feel trapped, stuck... Temporarily making the man unable to walk was just finishing the job off properly. 

After he was done, smashing the man's ankles under the heavy piece of wood they had found. He turned to the group... They were all looking to him for an answer... He was their leader after all. He wasn't entirely sure where Benny stood on things yet, but Bela didn't seem worried and Castiel felt, even if Benny didn't like it... He wouldn't turn them in, he had helped. 

"Alright... Here's what's going to happen... Anything any of you have touched... needs to be cleaned or removed. Start there. Dean, come with me" 

Castiel held Dean around the middle to support him as he moved away from the group "We're going to get you in the car now, so you can rest" 

"I can help," Says Dean weakly. Castiel just fixes Dean with a look and he nods "Fine"

"Very sensible, thank you," 

"What about him?" Benny asks from across the table, nodding his head at Richard's. 

"Karma will finish what revenge neglects,” Says Castiel with a glance at Richard's, then Charlie "We're done with him. I'll fetch you all some gloves" 

Castiel takes Dean back to the car, settling him in the passenger side "We will be as quick as we can, here's my phone, call Bela if you need one of us for anything..." Dean nods "I... "

"It's not your fault Cas," Says Dean as though reading his mind. 

Castiel sighs "I wanted to keep you safe, Dean, I always want to keep you safe" 

"You saved me," Says Dean looking up at Castiel through one eye, the other to swollen and bloodshot to see through. 

"I love you," Said Castiel before straightening up "Call, if you need anything" He says pointing back to the phone, then he closes the car door and moves to the boot, opening it up and grabbing a handful of gloves and the small 'scene clean' kit he had, it wouldn't be enough but it was better than nothing. 

*** 

Castiel's thoughts raced around his head as he walked slowly back into the warehouse, how were they going to get out of this one? He could only think of one plan... And it was dangerous, Dean wouldn't like it at all.

"So, what is the plan?" Asked Bela when Castiel entered the room again. 

"We're going to clean up as best we can... However, I want you to leave Dean's blood." 

Benny frowned "Why the fuck would we do that?" 

Castiel took a deep breath "This wasn't a plan, there is no way to be sure we clean away every trace of Dean's blood and we can't very well burn down an empty, damp warehouse, so we have to make it look... like Dean died here" 

The others stared at him. Bela stepping forward "This is it then, isn't it?" 

Castiel nodded "I thought we'd have longer here, I thought we would have more time, but this... Is a mess that is completely to big to hide. I do have a plan, but it puts a few of us a greater risk than the others... Bela, you know what your choices are..."

Bela looked from Castiel to Benny "I know," She sighed 

"We probably have a day... Max. Depending on what we do with him" Said Castiel pointing to Richard's

"He needs to go to the hospital," Said Charlie shrugging "How are we going to get him there?" 

"Matt..." Castiel rounded on Matt "Are you with us? You need to decide, because if you're not... You're free to go" 

"I... I, honestly... You'd let me go? Even after all this?" 

"We don't hurt innocent people, you're a good man. Even if you decided to turn me in..." Castiel hesitates 

"I'm not going to turn you in, I honestly thought I was like... along for the ride now, I kinda didn't expect to be given a choice." 

"If you want to be part of this, you can be, you can come with us" 

"He was a policeman," Piped up Charlie "He could be 'with us' without being 'with us'" 

"So I take it you are?" Says Castiel to Charlie

"If you'll have me, yeah. I don't want to go back to being Penelope Richard's, she's still dead. I want to keep being Charlie Bradbury, and Charlie Bradbury happens to be at your service. I owe it to you, I owe it to Ellen. I'm in" 

Castiel narrowed his eyes, thinking, then he nodded before rounding on Benny "What about you?" 

"This fucker..." Benny gestured to Richard's "Deserved what he got, I've read the papers, I know your usual victims, targets... Whatever you want to call them are bad guys, I know why you do what you do... I'm not saying I'm down to get my hands bloody again, but I'm... I'm with you, I'm not turning anyone in" 

Castiel's eyebrows rose and Bela looked truly relieved, "I'm sorry," She said turning to Benny "I'm sorry you got caught up in this, I didn't intend to bring you into it like this..." 

Benny sighed shaking his head "It's all kinds of fucked up Bela, but I don't want to lose you. Or Dean, as long as you guys are always sure... I'm not going to stand in the way of you doing... your 'work'. But I can't be the one doing it... I'll help, be designated driver or whatever the fuck I can do to help that isn't killing someone. You know?"

"Thank you," Bela and Castiel say at the same time, only Bela says it much softer and smiles at Benny like she's seeing him for the first time... 

"I have a question," Said Matt "If we're making it look like Richard's killed Dean, believing that Dean was the list killer... Then how'd we explain his missing hands and shit?" 

"We're not blaming Dean for the murders of the list killer..." Said Castiel thoughtfully "We're blaming me... This is my proposal..." 

***

Ten Hours Later

“Where are you going?” Dean asks with a heartbreaking look on his face, a look that plainly says ‘please don’t leave me alone right now’.

“For a run,” Says Castiel as straight-faced as he can muster, it’s not a complete lie, but it’s not the whole truth either and it feels like a nail in his heart as he remembers that he promised Dean he’d always be honest with him if Dean was honest in return. “You’re recovering, you need to rest. We are a team and when one member of the team is down, the others have to pick up the slack… That isn’t… I’m not trying to make you feel as though I’m blaming you for anything Dean, none of what’s happened is your fault, but I need to keep up the routine, I need to stay at my strongest in case anything happens, you understand?”

The look Dean gives him, makes him feel like the biggest shit in the world “Yeah, I understand. It’s fine, you go, pick up my ‘slack’. I’ll be here, ‘recovering’”

“You need to,” Says Castiel sitting beside Dean on their bed “Because I need you, you know that right? I need to safe and well… I’d do anything to protect you, Dean.”

“I wish you’d just stay, but yeah I get it. Routine” Dean sighs “It’s fine” He repeats in a voice that clearly expresses how ‘not fine’ he feels about it.

“When he took you… I thought I might never see you again.” Says Castiel quietly and that was the truth. The fear he’d kept to himself as he and Charlie and Bela had driven to that warehouse, “I thought I was losing you. I… I hope you know, I’d rather die, than let anything happen to you. I love you”

Dean’s expression softens as he looks up into Castiel’s eyes “I love you too, It’s fine” he says again, more determined now as if he wants Castiel to believe it this time, “I’ll be fine, you go… But bring back bacon or I’ll be pissed” He adds the last part with a smile.

“Bacon?” Says Castiel eyebrow raised, “Alright, you had a tough day yesterday, I’ll get you your bacon”

***

"So?" Castiel looks at Bela

"I'm handing in my resignation, I will have to work my notice, or it will look strange" Said Bela.

Castiel nodded and looked at Charlie "How about you?" 

"It's done, everything you wanted, you're driving photo, checked police records for you and Dean, both still clear, checked dental records and wiped Dean's. Got the video recorder" She pauses thinking "Are you sure you shouldn't tell Dean?" 

Bela looks from Charlie to Castiel, worry in her expression "If something goes wrong Castiel..."

"If something goes wrong then I don't want Dean there. I just want him to be safe. Matt should be finished with the police by tomorrow if he doesn't slip up in questioning..."

"He was a cop, he knows what he's doing," Says Charlie 

"Let's hope so," Says Castiel "Because I want you and him to take Dean tomorrow, first thing." He looks at Bela "You got what I asked you for?" 

"Course, good old Frank. Here" 

Castiel looks at the little books Bela passes him and smiles, handing one to Charlie, "You'll need this to get Dean into Canada." 


	72. Burn It To The Ground

"Hey, you're back" Dean's smile makes Castiel's gut drop like led. 

"One double bacon on toast," Says Castiel handing over the paper wrapped breakfast and watching Dean smell it with his eye closed. 

"Yes! Thank you," He says as he attacks the wrapping and takes a bite, humming around the toastie in his mouth "You were pretty quick?" 

"Well, I didn't want to leave you waiting and honestly... I didn't do much running, just thinking" 

"Oh yeah, about last night?" 

"Yes, and the future. We can't stay here"

"You're going to miss the house?" Asked Dean 

"I... will miss the memories I am able to reply because we are in this house... You, Ellen... It's easier to picture things clearly when you have a reminder" 

"Well, you'll always have me" Dean gave Castiel a half smile. Which Castiel forced himself to return.  

***   
Castiel spent the day by Dean's side, fetching anything he asked for, letting Dean rest his head against him on their sofa, holding him, he brushed his fingers through Dean's hair. They talked a lot about Ellen, the house, Paul Richard's...  

Castiel cooked for Dean, helped him take a bath, re-bandaged the cut across his chest after applying antiseptic cream, he spent the entire day memorizing Dean's face, each freckled, the swirling green in his eyes, his mouth.

When Dean finally fell asleep on their couch after they had eaten dinner together Castiel sent a text to Charlie before going upstairs. He packed a bag for Dean, putting in it most of Dean's clothes, his toothbrush... and a large wad of money that he'd got from the bank that morning. His practice sale had gone through and he'd been and withdrawn a large sum in cash to keep Dean going. 

He walks slowly back down the stairs with the bag and added some bottled water from the fridge and the packet of painkillers that Dean had taken some from for his injuries. He crushed up a couple of sleeping pills and mixed them into some water, injecting Dean was horrible, for a moment he just stood above the sleeping man with the needle in his hand, what if Dean woke up? He shook himself, raised Dean's arm gently and pressed the needle into his skin, freezing for a moment as Dean grunted in his sleep. 

By the time Charlie and Matt pulled up outside... Dean was snoring. 

*** 

When Dean comes to, his eyes flickering and his head pounding. He opens his right eye and squints up through the left, the swelling not allowing it to open fully. The first thing he sees is a mop of black hair and he sighs, for a brief moment he thinks he is at his and Castiel's house. Laid on their couch with Castiel sat in front of him. 

His voice cracks slightly as he manages to groan out a single word "Cas..." 

The man in front of him slowly turns, his expression one of guilt. Dean frowns, he tries to shake his head but it hurts and his mind is swimming, his heart is racing as fear pulls at him. This is not Castiel... He is not in his house, he is in a car, a moving car. 

"What the hell?" He says sitting up slowly "Where am I?"

"Ok, now... Don't freak out" 

"Where the fuck are you taking me?" He says looking out the window, the morning sunlight is pink and purple "Where's Cas?" 

"Castiel wanted us to get you someplace safe, Dean," Says Charlie from the driver's seat "We're in Canada" 

"Fuck off," Says Dean in disbelief "Stop, stop the fucking car." 

"Calm down Dean," Says Matt "We'll explain everything... Ok?" 

"STOP THIS FUCKING CAR RIGHT NOW" 

***

Dean listens as Matt and Charlie tell him Castiel's plan... His face pales and he realizes he is trembling, he isn't sure when it started, but he can't calm himself down. The only thing he knows is that this is all wrong. 

"There's no way, he wouldn't do that" Dean says as he stands outside the car trying to calm his racing heart "I don't believe you" He turns to glare at Charlie and Matt "You two are fucking on Richard's side somehow? Right? This is some fucked up way at getting at Cas?" 

Charlie frowns "You saw me cut the man's dick in half... Do you really think I'm on his side?"

Dean stares at her, this can't be happening, it can't... He needs Cas, needs him like air... "I'm gonna be sick," He says panting and leaning forward a little, his busted rib preventing him from bending over double. "I can't... I can't, He wouldn't send me away. I was at home, I was on the couch... What? What fucking time is it?" 

"We've been driving for almost seven hours, Castiel gave you something to help you sleep... He wants you to be safe, Dean," Says Matt sympathetically "He isn't 'sending you away', he is coming to meet up with you. After" 

"After? If he doesn't get himself caught or fucking blown up you mean" Dean looks up at Charlie and Matt "Take me back"

"No," Says Matt

"We can't take you back Dean, we got lucky at the border, a few bags and coats over you in the dark, you can't go back" 

"Son of a bitch!" 

***

Castiel sits at his kitchen table. Castiel moves into the living room and stares at his television, which is switched off. Castiel opens and then closes the fridge, Dean is not in there. Castiel looks through his bedroom door to the empty and perfectly made bed, maybe the sheets will still smell like Dean? He glances out of the window, what is he hoping to see? Dean driving up, angry but relieved to see him? No, Dean's miles away by now, Dean's safe. Castiel goes downstairs again and pulls the photo of Ellen of the off the wall and opens the back of it, replacing the picture with one of a kitten and taking Ellen's photo and... her list. Castiel checks his bag and cleans and sharpens his knife. 

"So this is what it's like..." He says out loud to himself after a few hours of pointless tasks, "being alone" 

He sighs and he misses Dean. 

"Just one more thing to do..." 

He slips out of his house that night, alone. Walking into the dark street and looking up at the moon, thinking that at least he and Dean can see the same sky. He forces himself to concentrate. 

Adam Battom had just been another name from Ellen's list, but he was the closest to what Castiel needed. When he'd seen the man's prison mug shot, Castiel had asked Charlie to find his address... 

***

"This is not how I usually do things... Well, I'm sure you are aware. I wouldn't normally have you suffer quite like this, but there has to be a body... And you, well you just so just so happened to look like me, height-wise, weight wise... hair and eye color. The rest won't really matter... If things go to plan, the rest won't be recognizable... I would kill you now, I can't imagine what burning alive would feel like... but, apparently police can tell if a person was dead before a fire starts... You see... when the burning takes place before death, it leaves a fine soot behind... like ash in the mouth and nose of the deceased and the hands and feet curl up, clenched in pain, you understand. But burning after death, although the hands and feet may be drawn up, there will be no ashes in the mouth... It's all about details."

Castiel brushes a paintbrush soaked in gasoline over the mans face leaving a light glazing effect.   
  
"Inhaling harmful smoke can inflame your lungs and airway, causing them to swell and block oxygen. This leads to acute respiratory distress syndrome and respiratory failure. Smoke inhalation commonly happens when you get trapped in a contained area that is on fire" He looks about him adding "such as a kitchen..." 

"Don't... don't do this" The man begs, but Castiel just shakes his head at him. 

"Did she say that to you? Hmm? That girl that you raped? Did she beg?" He looks into the man's eyes "You deserve this, you destroyed her life, now I'm going to destroy your body" 

"Oh fuck, fuck... Yes, ok?" Says Adam Battom, eyes wide and hands shaking under the zip ties that hold him to the chair "She did, she did. But please..."

"And you ignored her, didn't you? She was just something for you to use?"

"Fuck" Adam's voice gets higher pitched as he begins to sense... there is no way out of this.

"That is all you are to me, a monster that I can kill and make useful at the same time, you should feel special" Castiel leans in "It'll be our little secret, ok?" 

Castiel moves away from the man and picks up a needle, throwing the paintbrush into the bin as he passes it, he holds up the needle in front of Adam "This is filled with diluted Succinylcholine, it is a neuromuscular paralytic drug. It paralyzes the muscles of the body, including those used for breathing. Without ventilatory support, anyone who receives this drug would die from asphyxia. But this is a very diluted does, as this isn't how we want you to die, we just need to keep you still long enough to be killed by the fire... See there is no way or reason why I would tie myself to a chair. So... I'm just going to inject you with this... into your legs. Which will make you unable to move... Then and this is where things get a little more painful for you... I'm going to set you on fire, starting at your crotch so that you can really breathe in that smoke for a few minutes... Then the fire will catch and spread and you will die."

Castiel straightens up again "The bad news for you is that you are going to be wide awake while this is all happening and you'll be able to feel everything because this drug has no sedative effects. Trust me on that, I've used this once before, it's quite wonderful."

"However, there is one last thing before I start the video... Just so we're sure you can't interrupt me" Castiel stands up and picks up a flannel from the table next to him, putting down the needle for a moment before he forces the flannel into Adam Battoms mouth and dries under his tongue, then holding the man's mouth open, he squeezes some superglue from his pocket under the man's tongue and presses the tongue down again with the flannel. He quickly puts the superglue back into his pocket with the other hand and injects the diluted Succinylcholine into the man's legs still holding his tongue down with his other hand. He cuts the zip ties from the man's ankles and wrists and pulls a match from his pocket, striking it and dropping it into the man's lap, he moves quickly across the room to the kitchen and sits in front of the laptop, away from the man's muffled moans of pain... Pulling on a mask and sitting in front of it...

“Citizens of New York..." He begins his speech...

"My work here has to end, you’re welcome New York and… Goodbye”

Castiel stands up, he moves out of the frame of the computer and starts humming a melancholy tune as he rolls the chair that Adam is stuck in, on fire closer to the computer, the room slowly fills with smoke. Castiel coughs as he pulls off the mask and drops it into Adam's lap, the man is alive but his eyes are hazy and unfocused... His face drops forward as he passes out. 

Castiel puts the gasoline-soaked string tied to the back of the plastic containers into Adams lap and the fire eats along it hungrily... Castiel moving quickly toward the back door and slipping out as the room fills with smoke and the flames begin to grow. The fire reaches the plastic gasoline containers on the kitchen side, there is a loud bang and the video blurs and cuts out... 

*** 

Six Weeks Later

Dean was sat on the edge of a wooden bench, looking at the cigarette in his hand. Turning it over in his fingers. Thinking about his life, about the things he’d lost, the people he’d lost, Ellen and Sam… Cas. He had promised to do what Castiel told him, but they hadn't even given him the chance to argue his plan... they had drugged him and high tailed it into Canada without Castiel and now… He was gone.

It had been weeks, weeks with no word from Castiel. Matt and Charlie had tried to comfort him when he'd woken up and been told Castiel's plan. Bela and Benny had turned up a couple of weeks later... But no Castiel. Dean barely spoke to the others, he was furious with them for leaving Castiel behind. Knowing that any number of things could have gone wrong with his plan. Dean pulled away from the group, going on walks alone and wondering how he could sneak back past the border... Now that he was meant to be 'dead'?

He'd read the article over a dozen times;

'List Killer's Last Victim Left Alive'

_In an explosive live streamed video - that has since been removed from the internet by the police we see a man, later named as Castiel Harvelle wearing a mask and confessing to the murders of the list killer… It is claimed that Castiel Harvelle, AKA - the list killer had been in a relationship with one, Dean Winchester, who he accused former mayoral candidate Paul Richard's of murdering. Overcome with grief  - Mr. Harvelle appeared to take his own life, burning down his home whilst still inside it._

_Police, however, have yet to confirm that the remains found inside the building were, in fact, that of Castiel Harvelle, as he had no dental records and even more surprising, his photograph was mysteriously deleted from the New York Department of Motor Vehicles driving records. The body taken from his home was so badly burnt that none of his former staff at the veterinary service he had until recently owned, could identify him._

The article had gone on and on, about the List Killers victims and his speech on the video and there was a bit about Dean in there too, although... not much as there were no police records for him either. 

Dean was lost, there was no one to call, no one to ask... There was nothing he could do. He'd waited and waited, he'd drunk himself to sleep, he'd threatened Benny and punched Matt when they'd tried to pull him out of his depression with some tough love... He was alone. Broken. His cuts had healed now, his bruises had faded, his ribs had ached for a long time, but were all completely healed now, according to Bela. The only pain he felt, which he would trade for a broken rib in a second... was his broken heart. 

This morning, he'd woken, reached over the edge of the couch where he'd passed out and had a breakfast of Jack Daniels. He'd checked the news for anything that could be Castiel. But once again, he'd found nothing... Angry and disappointed he'd left the small house they'd been renting alone, he'd walked to a shop nearby and bought a pack of cigarettes. 

He rubbed the bridge of his nose, his fingers stretching out in either direction and wiping the tears from his eyes. Without looking up, he dug a hand into his pocket and pulled out a lighter. He put the cigarette between his lips and was raising the lighter to it, a spark igniting as the metal crunches under his thumb and strikes against the flint…

That was the moment that something landing on the ground at his feet caught his attention, he lowered the lighter, the cigarette remaining unlit and looked down to the ground between his legs…  A small cardboard box. Dean stared at the words on it but didn’t look up, the cigarette fell from his mouth to the ground as his lips parted. He was shaking slightly and his eyes misted once more with tears.

"Hello, Dean. I hope you weren't planning on lighting that"


	73. The Wolf's Family

That voice. His voice. Dean closed his eyes, sending salty tears racing down his face. Relief. Heart pounding, minding altering, life-affirming… relief.  
  
Dean swallowed as he looked up through his eyelashes into the eyes of the man staring down at him. The man he loved. The man he thought had died. His mind wasn’t working, he wanted to tell Castiel how much he loved him, how much he’d missed him… but what came out was a softly chuckled "You're late"  
  
Castiel tilted his head to one side, a fond smile on his face as he recalls his first-ever meeting with Dean... "I know, I'm sorry... I had to cycle over one and a half thousand miles to get here, took a little longer than I expected. You are going to need that," He says with a small nod to the nicotine patch box he’d dropped.

Dean blows out a breath, he reaches down and picks up the small box, opening it to find a silver band, inscribed with 'My Person' taped to a passport with his picture, under which he read the name ‘Dean Novak’. He looked back up at Castiel, eyes wide.   
  
Castiel held up his own fake passport to show him and Dean read... 'James Novak'.  
  
"Castiel is a much rarer name than Dean, so I thought it would be best to change both for me" Dean looked at him... speechless. Castiel blushed as he said "I asked Bela to get Frank Devereaux to make these for us a while ago"  
  
"A-and... the ring?" Stammered Dean pulling it free from the tape, to hold it between shaking fingers.   
  
"I've had that for a while too..." Castiel's face was beet red and it was adorable "I bought it after you told me I could call you home... I wanted to ask you... to marry me then... But Bela was being questioned by the police and everything was... well, rather messy for a time... I know we won't be able to have an actual wedding now... Given we have had to change our names... And are effectively on the run. But... I still wanted to ask you..."  
  
Deans chest fills with air as he takes in a huge breath, standing up and staring into Castiel’s eyes.  
  
"If you would be mine, for... always?"  
  
Dean huffs out a small laugh, more tears pouring from his reddening eyes "You can't just buy me a ring every time you forget to mention your planning on faking your own death you know?" He moves forwards and grips the front of Castiel's shirt in one hand and pulling him toward him and muttering as his lips touch Castiel's "But I’ll always be your person"

The kiss is sweet and all the pain and confusion and worry leave Dean, it flys far away and Dean's suddenly floating on clouds as he stands there holding on to Castiel.

When he pulls back Castiel shakes his head at him and says “I can taste the alcohol on you, Dean, you’re smashed”

“And you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on,” Says Dean still staring at him like he is an angel, he runs a finger through Castiel's short beard "Nice peach fuzz by the way" 

“I’m so sorry, Dean, I wanted to tell you, but you wouldn't have let me. And I had to do this to keep you, me... All of us safe. I wanted to get here soon, be with you sooner... Say you forgive me?”

"Fine,” Says Dean rolling his eyes "Just never do that again"

“Marry me?” Says Castiel somewhat desperately

“Yeah” Sighs Dean resting his forehead against Castiel’s shoulder and letting his tears flow, “Yeah Cas, you dumb shit... I love you”

“I love you too,” Castiel whispers as he takes the ring from Dean and slides it on to his finger.

***

The door closes, the little lock clicks in to place and Dean is pushed back against the motel room wall with a soft thud, his tongue comes out and licks against his lips before settling back into his mouth, his lips seem to shine now, plump and beautiful but not sealing as he breathes in gulps of air that is thick with the anticipation of what is to come.

Castiel grips one of his arms by the wrist, slamming it against the old-fashioned wallpaper as he attacks Dean’s mouth, with his own. His facial hair itches at Dean slightly, but he can't find it in him to care or complain... It's Cas. They press against each other hotly, their mouths not closing fully as they kiss so that if anyone had been watching they’d be able to see their tongues between them, desperately tasting at each other.

Castiel is every bit as hungry for Dean, as Dean is for him and they waste no time in tugging and ripping at each other's clothing. Hands that had been gripping into hair move to unfasten zips and pull off coats, moans rumble from their throats, their cocks swell in their pants as they explore each other once again.

“God, I missed you so fucking much” Breaths out Dean as he pulls back from Castiel to strip the man of his navy jumper “I didn’t know if I’d ever get the chance to hold you like this again…”

“I know, Dean. I missed you too.” Says Castiel as his fingers find their way to Dean’s hips and slide along his belt to the front, working that buckle open quickly “I thought about you every day”

“Just not enough to pick up a damn phone? Huh?”

Castiel pulls the belt from the loopholes of Dean’s jeans before looking him in the eyes “I couldn’t do that Dean, It wouldn’t have been safe. I had to dispose of my phone. I thought I would be with you by now, It just took me longer than I had envisioned to get here as… Well, I had to leave my car behind too. Buses have security videos on them now and I wasn’t sure there were no photographs of me left behind somewhere, so I couldn't risk being spotted. My journey here had to be one hundred percent sterile... if I had left any evidence of where I was going… Everything would have been ruined and we would be on the run, again.”

“As long as we would be together, I don’t give a shit Cas”

“We’re together now,” Says Castiel as he stares into Dean’s eyes, his hands pulling down Dean’s pants zipper as they stare at each other, both breathing heavily.

“Yeah,” Says Dean in barely more than a whisper as he feels Castiel’s fingertips at the waistband of his boxers, sending tingles of excitement through his veins “We are.”

The next few seconds pass with the rise and fall of heaving chests, their warm breathes mingling in the air between them, the glint in Castiel’s eyes as he stares into Dean’s.

Suddenly, in a flurry of movement, Castiel disappears, ducking down to the ground and dragging Dean’s pants and underwear with him, letting Dean balance himself by holding on to his shoulder as he lifts each foot one at a time, so that Castiel can removing his clothing. Shoes, socks, pants, underwear… It all gets pulled from Dean and tossed to the floor.

And then… Dean’s eyes slip closed and his brain short circuits for a moment as Castiel, lets his tongue and lips climb back up Dean’s skin. Kissing and tasting his way back up Dean’s inner thigh. It’s so incredibly hot, looking down and seeing Castiel’s face right next to his erection, his eyes sparkling with desire as he brings a hand up and wraps it around the base of Dean’s dick, then lowers his head down on to Dean and hums around him, Dean’s head falling back and landing against the wall as he concentrates on the amazing feeling between his legs.

His hands come up to Castiel’s hair, massaging his scalp with his fingertips as he resists the urge to thrust into Cas' mouth.

In almost violent urgency Castiel stands releasing Dean’s cock from his mouth but keeping his hand on it and using it to gently guide him around and backing him up to the bed. Which Dean falls back on to as his legs hit the mattress, feet and lower legs still hanging over the side. Castiel tugs him down a little to the edge of the bed by hooking his hands under Dean’s knees. Then he kneels between his legs and lowers his mouth to Dean’s cock once more, Dean groaning as he pushes his head back into the mattress.

"Oh fuck Cas..." 

Castiel brings a hand up to Dean’s balls, touching them gently and rolling them over his fingers, as he licks around the head of Dean’s shaft. His own erection is pressing against his pants, demanding attention.

He spends as long as he can lavishing Dean’s cock with his tongue before his own desire takes over and he raises his head, licking up Dean’s length once more before he looks up and growls in a voice far lower and needier than he has ever heard from himself before…

“Dean… I want to fuck you”

Dean’s eyes roll in his head at the sound of Castiel’s husky request and he nods. “Yeah,” and he turns over as Castiel pulls his own pants and underwear down.

“Come on, do it Cas,” Begs Dean as he pushes his ass back against Castiel’s crotch, impatiently. 

“I, I don’t have any lube” Castiel met Dean’s eyes as Dean looked back over his shoulder at him “I don’t want to hurt you, Dean”

“Fuck it Cas, I don’t care. In fact, it’s better if it hurts a bit - I'll know its real. It means I’m not dreaming and you’re really here.”

Castiel slips an arm around Dean, as Dean’s head falls forward to rest on the bed again. He sighs with relief as Castiel takes his hard cock in his hand and begins stroking it as he lines himself up with his other hand, Dean holding his cheeks apart, bent over the bed in front of him… Waiting. Wanting.

Castiel continues to move his hand over Dean’s cock as he presses a kiss between his shoulder blades making him shudder slightly. He pushes forward, his thick cock head at Dean’s hole. Castiel’s hand moves away from Dean’s cock to his mouth to collect some saliva which he rubs on the end of his dick before pressing against Dean’s entrance again… His hand returning to Dean's cock as the head of his dick finally passes that ring of muscle and both he and Dean groan as Castiel slowly slides the rest of the way in.

Castiel pulls back and hears Dean hiss against gritted teeth. He stills for a moment, not wanting to hurt him.

“Are you alright?” He asks sliding his hand along Dean’s back soothingly, feeling Dean’s warm smooth skin under his palm.

“I’m fine, can you just… move.”

Castiel hesitates a moment longer, before slowly continuing his stroking of Dean and pulling himself back slow and easy until just the head of his cock is inside Dean, then pushing in again. He whispers soothing words to Dean, telling him how much he missed him, how much he loved him, how much he wanted to touch him when they were apart, even just hold him, talk to him.

Dean groans as Castiel pushes in a little deeper and harder, “Feel good?”

Dean makes a noise of affirmation and bends slightly lower on to the bed arching his back. He reaches his own hand under himself and bats Castiel’s hand away.

“Harder Cas, I wanna feel it tomorrow”

Castiel puts his hands on Dean’s waist and begins thrusting quicker, picking up the pace as he slides in and out. He can feel Dean, warm and tight around him. His heart had hurt with how much he had missed him, but now he is with him again, they were together again, finally, they were home.

Dean is moaning beneath him, trembling slightly with one hand gripped around his own cock the other curled into the bedsheets, eyes squeezed closed, lips parted breathing out heavy pants into the bedding. His eyes flick open and he glance's up at Castiel…

“Close Cas, I’m close”

Castiel pushes harder, fingers poking deeper into Dean’s waist, driving forward, pulling back, driving in again, deep into Dean’s perfect heat… He grunts as Dean clenches around him and his hips stutter forward. Dean’s moan as he comes is beautiful and sends Castiel skyrocketing to his own climax. They come moments apart, breathless and sweat-damp.

"Fuck, Cas... I almost forgot how good you are at that"  

Castiel pulls slowly out of Dean, flopping down on the bed beside him, Dean turns to face him smiling, Castiel brings his hand up and tugs Dean's face toward his own, kissing him full on the mouth "I'll just have to keep reminding you then, won't I?" 

Dean's grin widens "Hell yeah, let's not leave this room for like the next week, at least" 

"I think I am amenable to that" Smiles Castiel "I mean... I do owe you a punishment for smoking"

Dean bites his lip, deciding not to tell Castiel that that was the first pack he'd bought and he hadn't even got to light one... Frankly, he'd rather do whatever kinky shit Castiel had planned for him.  

***

Six months later...  

Cornwall, Ontario, Canada.  

He wondered if this hadn't been Ellen's plan all along, maybe not exactly this... There was no way she could have known about Matt or Benny... But Bela, Charlie? Had she intended for them to become part of Castiel's little family? Had she wanted more back up, more friends... more family for him? He likes to think so.  

Castiel looked around the small room... finally after almost six hours on the road, they had all arrived safely. Bela and Benny were sat on the bed, Charlie was sat on the desk swinging her legs back and forth, Dean was stretched out on the small couch at the side of the room... This was his Pack, his family. And then there was Matt Bloomfield, stood next to him, holding a paper file in his hands, wearing his new police uniform. 

"I want to thank you all for sticking with me... I know the past six months have been... trying. Training to become... Well, training to do the job. But it is worth it, to be prepared... Courage brings you to a fight, but wisdom wins it. And that is what we are facing, a fight. Each and everytime we track a target... We had to be ready and I believe you all are now, we work as a team, you all know your rolls, you all know what's at stake, not just for us if we are caught... But for the future victims of people, we need to root out and destroy"

"In the past, I concentrated on pedophiles, because of what happened to me, because of the darkness my father gave to me when did those things to me... It was selfish in some ways, but effective. However, I think the time has come to 'branch out', for a while now, I have suspected that pedophiles have - in some cases, come from taking advantage of someone of consenting age, 'general' rapists... They may have abused a drunk woman or man, or a person in a vulnerable position and it was that vulnerability that excited them, I believe they craved that feeling of power... The natural place to look, for someone vulnerable, is at our country's children. It excites them to destroy those children's innocence... It's only a theory but I think to make more of an impact, we need to broaden our net" 

"Do you intend on proving your theory?" Asked Matt looking at Castiel. 

"I'm not interested in proving my theory, I'm only interested in wiping them all out, that's why I have asked you all to join myself and Dean here, today... The rapist's capital of Canada. Cornwall, Ontario... There are a lot of monsters waiting to be slain" Castiel took the file and dropped it open on the desk, looking down for a moment at the photograph of a man with a shaved head and a teardrop tattooed next to his eye, he glanced back up and addressed his family "We have work to do..."   

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, over 14 months to write this. Sorry again for the gaps. I really hope the ending was worth the wait guys. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me through this. And thank you to everyone who reads it. 
> 
> (And thank you to the members of the archive group for the torture advice =D =D <3 )

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this story, I have a couple of romantic, feel good stories in the works.. But I was itching to write something a little bit darker.. so please enjoy..
> 
> Comments and Kudos are always gratefully received.. <3


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